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Anonymous #1
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Wasting my life and time
#21783957 - 06/09/15 04:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hey, I'm late teens and at a big turning point in my life. I have bad periods where i feel very anxious, especially before bed. I just realized that at least part of it is due to feeling like i am wasting my time, as if life is slipping through my fingers. I KNOW I don't waste my tine badly, but it feels like it. The end of the day is the death of all the opportunities and amazing paths my life could have taken. As if before I know it, i am going to be too old to be able to do things i want to.
Do any of you get these feelings? Any advice on how to deal with them ? Thank you
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Titus_Pullo


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 461
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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The way to relieve yourself of these feelings is through discipline. A wasted life is a life lived without discipline. I wasted a few years myself...
You will never accomplish anything if you do not work towards your goals everyday. You're young. So figure out what you want to do within the next 5 years. Don't think in terms of careers, but in more abstract terms.. Do you want to work with people, or alone? What do you like to study? What sort of things do you find interesting and how are you going to explore those things?
So basically my advice to you is to set goals for yourself. They will change constantly. I recently found a list of goals I set for myself 6 years ago. It's funny because either achieved them or abandoned them, or they evolved in some way. Here is an example: Likewise, you will find some goals will not be worth pursuing, but others will -- that is your decision. But whatever you do choose to pursue, pursue it ardently.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Wasting my life and time [Re: Titus_Pullo]
#21784190 - 06/09/15 05:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That really helped, I'll do this. Thank you so much
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Bigjonbrews
Beer monger

Registered: 04/07/14
Posts: 156
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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If it doesn't feel right then maybe it's time to change your direction in life. Nobody can change yourself but you. Set yourself some goals of what you would rather be doing and just have the courage to get on your feet. Just remember you are worst enemy. Or you are your greatest supporter.. No one can help or hurt you as much as you.
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In the end, it all comes down to being yourself and taking responsibility for who and what you are
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Titus_Pullo


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 461
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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I realized I forgot to post the example. But here it is:
Basically I wanted to compete in martial arts. At the time I was doing tai chi and wanted to do form competitions. But I ended up switching to Judo and competing in that instead. I still accomplished my goal, which in the end was that I wanted to compete. So even though I had a specific goal there was an abstractness to it that allowed it to evolve into something else, but still give me the same, if not a greater sense of satisfaction.
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TheHulk69
Stranger
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 100
Last seen: 6 months, 7 days
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Re: Wasting my life and time [Re: Titus_Pullo]
#21789547 - 06/10/15 06:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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What is it that makes you think you're wasting time? I've definitely had similar feelings, the perspective of some such as Ram Dass or Eckhart Tolle can be comforting to me but a bit new agey at times as well. That being said there is some true wisdom, the only time you can ever truly experience is right now, me righting this in the now, when you read this now is then too. The brain likes to "think" to avoid the now, often by looking at future or present states, but ultimately it ends up resulting in anxiety, self esteem, depression, etc.. Imagine if one of these "serious" problems created by the mind actually resulted, one particularly I can recall for myself was missing a train for example. Now in my head I was worrying if I would make the bus to the stop in time, what if it was the wrong route(didn't speak the native tongue), etc etc. but on the ride back I ultimately realized, if I actually did end up missing my train, worrying about what I could've done in the past, or how much it would suck finding a place to sleep in this random city without my bag wouldn't have helped me in the slightest. The point I'm trying to make is that the brain can often be a distraction to what is, and what needs to be done, or enjoyment of what is.
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Deckard_Cain
Mystic



Registered: 09/25/13
Posts: 568
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Wasting my life and time [Re: TheHulk69]
#21789718 - 06/10/15 06:42 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Another vote for discipline here. You can pick up rosetta stone and start learning a language. Or sign up on coursera and do a course on anything you feel like. Maybe pick up a musical instrument - studying music theory is a fairly silent activity if you don't get much opportunity to practice. Renting an instrument can be 30 bucks a month (or can get a ukelele for under 100 bucks :P ). Start spending 5 minutes every day cleaning the house (start small to build up habits and discipline without burning out) or start by taking a short walk everyday, maybe some stretching. Brainstorming some ideas here. Do something which resonates with you. Try to stick with it even if you suck at activity or feel lazy. If feeling lazy do 2 minutes and stop but do it every day(the activity time will grow) - it builds discipline and willpower. I remember being a teen and spending most of the day playing games - I felt fairly shitty (well apart from spending the other free time reading cool shit and learning about stuff - though rarely seriously or anything useful). Good luck, hope you feel better. <3, peace , light
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 29,591
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Teen years are hard because all the emotions are newly fucked up by hormones. Things settle down eventually, but it's hard to pick out what's pathological and what's just being a teenager.
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks for your help everyone! Its great to have somebody to speak to.
To Bogjonbrews, I don't think it's the direction but just because I'm on the edge of a big change and less free time, it's now that I 'need' to do stuff.
To TheHulk69, I can't really identify the root of the problem but I think that it is fear of death. A limited time in which to make the best of it. I don't know whether it is a guilt of having wasted time - because of a feeling of owing my life to 'the maker' etc. I think it's more that I'm going to be dead soon (not literally) and I want to enjoy myself as much as possible. Ironically this desire is ruining the whole thing!
Thanks again to you all
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