|
Anonymous #1
|
to relationship or not to relationship
#21782144 - 06/09/15 08:32 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
please give me some perspective....
i was seeing this girl for a few weeks a while ago. she initiated it, she took me out and she invited herself back to my place..
we had sex a couple of times where i was probably mediocre to terrible (but hey at least i tried)..
i didnt really know where we stood, whether this was a relationship or a casual sex thing or what.. tho i think she really liked me..
i failed to act on anything and altho we kept going out for a while, a week or so later she took me aside and told me she still had feelings for her ex and had to focus on other things..
OK.
that tells me she was looking for a relationship and i didnt fit the bill in the end. i also feel like she was just trying to spare my feelings which was nice because i failed to take the lead on anything in my time with her.
i still like her and think she is cool. now it has been a while and things have struck up between us again. i feel like if i show a bigger sign of intent and lay things out then something could develop..
the question is do i want to? if i didnt before why do i think i should now?
i reasoned that i have nothing to lose and that i like her so why not.. i planned to meet with her yesterday and tell her that i want to clear the ambiguity and that i would like to go out with her..
the meeting never happened in the end as she needed to pull out, but it is still on the cards...
i just dont know if it is really a good idea. if there wasnt chemistry there why would it change? i have a lot of doubts.. and yet i am inexperienced with the whole thing (despite being 26) i am rough around the edges, i dont really enjoy sex, the whole thing is quite confusing...
i dont really know what i want
any input is welcomed.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: to relationship or not to relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21782166 - 06/09/15 08:37 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
How long was she with her ex? Not that it entirely matters. Maybe boning you made her feel bad because she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with the other guy? It doesn't really matter if she did feel that way because she doesn't now. Look at Sancho's threads he's been making. He was getting to like a girl, then he kept thinking about his ex, then he started hanging out with his ex and realized he doesn't care anymore. Now he's on the pussy hunt. Hunt that pussy bro.
|
sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
|
Re: to relationship or not to relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21782179 - 06/09/15 08:41 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
its human nature to want someone who is emotionally unavailable I think. its a challenge and the fact she still has feelings for the ex means you'd have to chase her and win her heart. We always want what we "cant" have so to speak. which is why you probably like her more than you actually really do.
if you REALLY want to win her heart, start dating another female. Then she will have to compete for your love and attention. its so stupid but it works.
"who cares the least has the power"
|
LoveNaborFuckHater
That one guy


Registered: 02/13/15
Posts: 861
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
|
Re: to relationship or not to relationship [Re: Anonymous #2]
#21782193 - 06/09/15 08:46 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I would definitely at least give it another go-round to see if anything happens differently, it takes time and you might realize how much you get into her over time. If you already feel differently about her then you may not have realized how you felt about her the first time. You never know how much you'll care about someone until they're gone
-------------------- "They told me drugs were bad, oh man, oh man, they had me fooled"

|
zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
|
Re: to relationship or not to relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21782303 - 06/09/15 09:15 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Only you can say what you want. If you are asking us you are too ambiguous and should not give this person any false ideas.
--------------------
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: to relationship or not to relationship [Re: sprinkles]
#21782308 - 06/09/15 09:16 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
sprinkles said: "who cares the least has the power"
It's sad but true.
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: to relationship or not to relationship [Re: zappaisgod]
#21782482 - 06/09/15 10:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
zappaisgod said: Only you can say what you want. If you are asking us you are too ambiguous and should not give this person any false ideas.
right on.
i mean i like her, i think it could work. i think giving it a go couldnt hurt..
what does hurt is where we were at before where i was too noncommittal and aloof which is a perennial problem for me, i havent ever asked anyone out.
|
|