Home | Community | Message Board

World Seed Supply
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Extract   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Mushroom-Hut Mono Tub Substrate

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
OfflineTheTaoOfTripping
Stranger
Registered: 04/06/15
Posts: 3
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization
    #21778302 - 06/08/15 11:14 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Hey, Shroomers!

This is going to be a long one, so I appreciate those who read with me until the end. I'll include a "TL;DR," but I would really appreciate the help from anyone who is willing.

So, when I was 16, I tried mushrooms for the first time. I loved them, and continued to do them sparingly for the next two years. I had some of the most beautiful, incredible, and revelatory experiences, but never overwhelmingly frightening or difficult ones, and never on more than two grams at a time. After this period, I decided it would be time to indulge my interest in LSD. I tried it and, of course, fell in love. Every conscious personal issue I had was put into perspective during only the first trip. Subsequent trips resulted in more and more subconscious personal insights, and even insights into the nature of perception and existence itself. Naturally, I decided I wanted to go further down the rabbit hole to see what I could see.

So I acquired some DMT. It was in the form of a fine, white powder. I had obviously read many trip reports and the like online, so I thought I was prepared to the nines. I eyeballed about 30 or 40 mg (a little smaller than a pile the size of a quarter) and loaded it into a glass bubble pipe. Vaped it with the lighter, took in as much as I could, and held it in for as long as I could. The moment I exhaled, my vision began to change drastically. The pipe I was holding looked like some sort of alien utensil as I tried to take a second toke and quickly realized that my motor skills were far too trashed. I can't do it, I thought, referring to "getting a breakthrough dose." The last thought I had as a normal human being was, of all things, "This is made out of glass. I should put it down so I don't break it on myself while I trip." Immediately, I was thrust into the most TERRIBLE, TERRIFYING episode of depersonalization and derealization I've had to date. I had never experienced anything like dp/dr prior to this event. A strange shift happened and everything took on a very two-dimensional quality. This was the only time I experienced the sensation that there was some boundary separating me far away from everything else, like glass, (especially when I was looking at my fiance and watching him move around) and that I was helpless but to watch the world around me. Everything looked very alien and unreal and unfamiliar. Everything was extremely clear; colors were extremely bright, to the point of discoloration. Everything was overwhelming. I did feel the expected DMT "gravity," quite intensely on my entire body. I looked over at my fiance and I couldn't remember who he was or why he was sitting next to me until I, with great force, reminded myself of his name repeatedly. But he didn't look like the same person. He looked like someone else. I looked around the entire living room and it seemed as though I were somewhere else. Who I was wasn't even relevant or wondered about. I was afraid to even move. I could no longer read, and letters on a bottle looked like a swirling white design incessantly swimming in a sea of red. That's a COKE bottle! It's a COKE bottle! It's a COKE bottle! This. Is going. To go. Away. This. Is going. To go. Away. This is going to go away! It's a Coke. Bottle. It's a Coke. Bottle. It's a Coke. Bottle. That is a Coke. Bottle. These were really the prevailing thoughts.

And here I was, thinking I was going to be thrust through hyperspace.

When the derealization hits, a noticeable "shift" happens that consists of extreme, overwhelming visual acuity, a very two-dimensional quality to everything, feeling like I'm in a dream within a dream, everything looking and feeling foreign and unfamiliar, and the most incredible terror I've ever fucking felt in my life. The "shift" kind of feels like that part in the Matrix when the programs change from normal looking people into Agents. I also get this dreaded feeling that something absolutely fucking awful is going to happen if I don't stop "it," however I do that and whatever "it" is. The depersonalization just kind of feeds off of my initial terror from the derealization and then parts of my body start feeling and looking and seeming as though they are different sizes and shapes than normal. An arm will catch my eye as though it were some unidentified object. Everything feels like styrofoam. I start to believe that my life isn't real. I begin to lose my ability to tell the difference between myself and someone else. The words "I," "me," "my," and "myself" all have the same meaning in this state regardless of whether I am saying them or someone else is. In fact, the other day, he played a joke on me that sent me into a small but frightening episode of depersonalization. I was telling others about a mushroom tea trip and how I'd thought I was being tested somehow and that I had failed the test of "patience," all the while laughing about how crazy I'd went that night. Once he heard me say this, though, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "you doubted me." (We were all completely sober). Immediate shift. Confusion. Are we the same? Are you me? Did that really happen?

Now, little things will trigger reminiscent episodes. Smoking too much weed, watching TV for longer than an hour, concentration. If I close my eyes and fold my arms together (sober), my arms will begin to feel larger and puffy, my shirt will feel two inches thick and fuzzy, my rib cage begins to feel as though it is growing, and my arms and stomach sort of meld until I open my eyes and look and my arms and move them around. Seeing my limbs in my peripheral vision will change my perception of them. I feel alien in my own body. My arms seem further away and longer than usual. My head feels as though it is pulsating and waving like a curtain. My hands seem half the size that they normally do. I feel like I'm floating but I'm still in my body, even though my body's not floating. All of this is happening right now as I am typing this. (I admittedly just smoked a little too much weed, but I can't help but to be sort of fascinated by the whole thing).

TL;DR: I smoked some DMT which, instead of throwing me through hyperspace, induced a severe episode of dp/dr. FUCKING SCARIEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME. Now I feel like nothing is real or looks real sometimes, like wakeful dreaming or something, and my perception of myself and my body is sometimes distorted. I think I may have dp/dr disorder that was activated by smoking DMT.

Anyway, the problem lies in that
a) I have faint feelings of dp/dr constantly that won't go away now and fluctuate in intensity depending on external stimuli.
b) I really love mushrooms. They've really changed my life. Cured my own self-induced depression. I don't want to have to go without them, and it's going to be extremely difficult for me if they're going to throw me into this INCREDIBLY frightening state of mind. Is there any hope that I can do them again without this happening? The first episode while on DMT was easily the most intense and traumatic and frightening experience of my entire life so far. Could I just have some sort of post-traumatic imprint from it? Any post-traumatic "flashbacks" could definitely be triggered by hallucinogens.
c) Was this really dp/dr? Or was this the onset of something like ego death, and I was just too cowardly to let go and let it take me? Was this a large indication that I am too ego-dependent to try and pursue ego death? Can this sort of incomplete ego disassembly induce something like dp/dr disorder?

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone at all?

Thank you SO MUCH in advance to anyone who helps!
Have a great trip!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineGoldenEye
...
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/24/13
Posts: 4,340
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 6 months, 19 days
Re: DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization [Re: TheTaoOfTripping]
    #21778339 - 06/08/15 11:23 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

DMT is pretty paradigm shattering. It's completely normal to struggle with coming to terms with it. How long ago did you vape it?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKingKnowledge
Around
Male


Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 2,876
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization [Re: GoldenEye]
    #21778360 - 06/08/15 11:28 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

a) The size of a quarter is definitely bigger than 30-40mg, right?

b) If this was recent, give it some time. It takes a while to get back to normal after a psychedelic experience. I've never done DMT so I can't speak directly to this drug, but in general terms, you had an unpleasant trip. It takes some time for that to heal.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTheTaoOfTripping
Stranger
Registered: 04/06/15
Posts: 3
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization [Re: GoldenEye]
    #21778366 - 06/08/15 11:28 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

About four or five months ago. Now I can't even take mushrooms, because they make me feel "like I'm on DMT again." I don't even know what I'm struggling with really. I guess I'm just trying to understand what's going on with me, and maybe I should stop haha


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineKingKnowledge
Around
Male


Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 2,876
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization [Re: TheTaoOfTripping]
    #21778386 - 06/08/15 11:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

TheTaoOfTripping said:
About four or five months ago. Now I can't even take mushrooms, because they make me feel "like I'm on DMT again." I don't even know what I'm struggling with really. I guess I'm just trying to understand what's going on with me, and maybe I should stop haha




Mushrooms are quite similar to DMT, structurally. Psilocybin is 4-PO-DMT, while psilocin is 4-OH-DMT.

Perhaps try a phenethylamine psychedelic such as LSD?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTheTaoOfTripping
Stranger
Registered: 04/06/15
Posts: 3
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization [Re: KingKnowledge]
    #21778400 - 06/08/15 11:36 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I love LSD, and so far, LSD doesn't really have this effect on me. But I haven't tried to trip on acid since my last episode either. But really, these days, even just closing my eyes for a period of time alters my consciousness.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineGoldenEye
...
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/24/13
Posts: 4,340
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 6 months, 19 days
Re: DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization [Re: TheTaoOfTripping]
    #21778578 - 06/08/15 12:30 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

The negative way in which you said "I feel like I am on DMT again..." reveals that there was something about the DMT experience that made a really strong negative imprint. What was it exactly? I am a firm believer that we are drawn to psychedelics for self healing. Could the depersonalisation/derealisation be linked to a repressed trauma that was activated by the DMT experience?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation Flag
Re: DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization [Re: KingKnowledge]
    #21778886 - 06/08/15 01:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

KingKnowledge said:
a) The size of a quarter is definitely bigger than 30-40mg, right?

b) If this was recent, give it some time. It takes a while to get back to normal after a psychedelic experience. I've never done DMT so I can't speak directly to this drug, but in general terms, you had an unpleasant trip. It takes some time for that to heal.



:whathesaid:....Yes....I think you took way too much. The size of a quarter is more like a half a gram or so....10 times the amount you should have used....How did you figure that was 30-40mg??


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineGoldenEye
...
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/24/13
Posts: 4,340
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 6 months, 19 days
Re: DMT-induced Depersonalization/Derealization [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #21778907 - 06/08/15 02:02 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Taking too much and still thinking "that is a coke bottle" seems a bit... Impossible. When I take close to too much my entire reality is replaced. When I take too much I get amnesia and don't remember what the hell happened.


Edited by GoldenEye (06/08/15 02:03 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Extract   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Mushroom-Hut Mono Tub Substrate


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Salvia induced permanent effects?
( 1 2 all )
Azen 5,417 37 05/05/10 12:49 AM
by crazyskateboarding
* Is DMT really in our brains?
( 1 2 all )
ReoSpeedwagon153 4,909 29 04/10/07 10:42 PM
by Koala Koolio
* Derealization LuSyD 3,625 15 07/27/07 04:56 AM
by Floop
* Oral DMT (with Moclobemide) - first time - The Realm of Shamans
( 1 2 all )
bluedolphin 12,420 22 06/26/19 01:25 PM
by ohfunkya
* DMT and Salvia
( 1 2 all )
Aspartame187 7,673 22 05/17/07 04:55 PM
by floridashaman
* 7 months after Shroom induced psychosis
( 1 2 3 4 all )
namesash 24,235 75 03/25/08 04:22 PM
by redgreenvines
* i believe psychedelic induced OBE's are not real...
( 1 2 all )
truekimbo2 4,456 22 07/13/06 06:55 AM
by Mezcal
* Tryptamine Induced Depression? Ped 1,456 5 08/01/03 02:09 PM
by Phencyclidine

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: psilocybinjunkie, Rose, mushboy, LogicaL Chaos, Northerner, bodhisatta
1,134 topic views. 1 members, 58 guests and 7 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.02 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 14 queries.