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OfflineCLIT
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Registered: 01/23/12
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Last seen: 1 year, 11 days
how does one deal with a crazy admirer?
    #21764358 - 06/05/15 01:58 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I'd like to hear from both sexes here. I'm a guy. A girl likes me. She made it be known by saying she thinks I'm hot. She said it to other people and those people told me in front of her and made her blush and all shy. I like her too. She knows, but the fact that I never made a comment about her whether she's hot or not, may be confusing her. She knows I like her but should I let it be known by making compliments on what I think about her? I was never a guy to want an ego stroke or to give an ego stroke, maybe I should stroke her ego by letting her know what I think of her? Also, I was never a "relationship" kinda guy, I was a get to the point kinda guy which explains why I didn't make a compliment to her because I'm not like that. Must I fake it then just to make compliments to her? The possible scenario that may happen here is that 1. she might think she got me by the balls and or I've become whipped, 2. she might just want to see if she could get my attention while she flirts with other guys in the room (which is what she is doing) 3. it may get more awkward than it has become when we were just "platonic" etc. Help me make a better judgement. I think she is the type that wants attention, she got it from everyone else but may be surprised that she wasn't getting it from me "like that".

Also, what's the reason why she would put her face down on another guy's shoulder while she knows I'm around then she stares at me to see if I was jealous? I know this is textbook game playing. How do I fight this so it doesn't fuck with me? I wasn't jealous, I was actually more confused because 1. she likes me but why would she make me feel confused? This is going against her. I'm not a guy that will chase anyone. Do I play along to her games since she seems to like games? Do I play it harsher? Must I get involved with her? We work together. I know it's not a good idea to get involved with anyone you work with. I've been there and seen it happen to other people and never ended positively.


Edited by CLIT (06/05/15 02:04 AM)


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OfflineBlack_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #21764398 - 06/05/15 02:24 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Work is so tricky. You see her almost every day and might feel like you're really bonding. Time comes when you want to push over that boundary beyond just flirting and she stops you or doesnt. Things can get weird or you can love coming to work. This is all such a personal and subjective thing only you can make the right decision for you.

I think you're overthinking it though, but maybe you need that at work to keep your mind busy. If you guys really like each other then flirt back and hangout on your lunch break or after work.

Some girls just want to be chased


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OfflineRosen_Rot
Learning
I'm a teapot


Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #21764409 - 06/05/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You should just have a talk with this girl and just make it clear on what you think and reason like. Your lack of interest is just making her more interested in you and her actions speak true of this. The reason she is hanging out with other guys, putting her head on their shoulders...etc while you are in the room is because she is trying to make you jealous in an attempt to grab your attention cause you are giving her none. All of her efforts are just an attempt to try and get you to "notice" her.

I wouldn't say you need to compliment her but if you like her just be straight up and honest with her and speak to her about this in a private place.

She's not crazy, poor girl just wants your D so bad.

If you want this to go away then just talk to her and be honest on what you are thinking.


--------------------
:sporedrop:"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo :sporedrop:
''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting''

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OfflineCLIT
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #21764539 - 06/05/15 04:22 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I do notice her, she knows I like her but I guess that isn't enough huh? Your explanation sounds as if coming from a female perspective, my guess is you are a female?

If her games go away, I'd be with her no problem. Does it mean that when people play games they are insecure or unsure how the other person feels about them? I think people that play games are in a confused state which in turn also confuses the other party as to why the person must do what they do to seek out attention.

Quote:

Rosen_Rot said:
You should just have a talk with this girl and just make it clear on what you think and reason like. Your lack of interest is just making her more interested in you and her actions speak true of this. The reason she is hanging out with other guys, putting her head on their shoulders...etc while you are in the room is because she is trying to make you jealous in an attempt to grab your attention cause you are giving her none. All of her efforts are just an attempt to try and get you to "notice" her.

I wouldn't say you need to compliment her but if you like her just be straight up and honest with her and speak to her about this in a private place.

She's not crazy, poor girl just wants your D so bad.

If you want this to go away then just talk to her and be honest on what you are thinking.




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OfflineRosen_Rot
Learning
I'm a teapot


Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #21764661 - 06/05/15 05:54 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I'm actually a male lol

From my experience people play games because it's just instinctual and a mating ritual. In bearded dragons for example males bob their head and turn their beards black, leopard geckos nip each other, chameleons display different colors for receptive and "go-aheads", dogs sniff each other's genitals, cats call...etc

Some people are direct with one another and other people just like to play the game. It's their in order to keep the suspense and keep things as a mystery to arouse you but I do agree, sometimes its unnecessary and can be annoying.

This is why I told you to just be direct with her and talk to her. Set things straight and be over and done with it otherwise, you're in her game, cause you're on here asking us about your confused state projected from an admirer :stonedmelt:


--------------------
:sporedrop:"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo :sporedrop:
''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting''

SBJs "The Basics"
3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak"
B+ BONANZA

   


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OfflineAtrium
Cunt Tickler


Registered: 08/18/13
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #21767526 - 06/05/15 08:30 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Bitch plays any sort of games and I know she's too immature for me. Depends on what you want out of it. FWB or a relationship.


--------------------
The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it.

The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry. :tongue2:


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OfflineCLIT
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: Atrium]
    #21768841 - 06/06/15 03:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I think the bitch is 10 years younger than me, so yeah. I look as young as her but she has no clue what my age is, which is why. All guys only want one thing out of it to start with, guess what it is.

Quote:

Atrium said:
Bitch plays any sort of games and I know she's too immature for me. Depends on what you want out of it. FWB or a relationship.




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OfflineAtrium
Cunt Tickler


Registered: 08/18/13
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #21769541 - 06/06/15 09:15 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

If she's 10 years younger than you, she's probably my age. Consider the contrast here.


--------------------
The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it.

The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry. :tongue2:


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InvisibleCognitive_Shift
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT] * 1
    #21771713 - 06/06/15 07:58 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Good luck OP.  Every chick i've been with has been crazy behind closed doors.  She was very good at losing her shit on me in privacy, then in public was fake and smily like she always was.  Occasionally turning back to give me the I want to kill you look.

It was hard for her to be rational about things because emotions ran her.  It usually ended up with me getting yelled at for doing something, but have no idea what I did.  Baffling.


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L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs


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OfflineCLIT
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: Atrium]
    #21772975 - 06/07/15 06:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I don't get what you're saying?

Quote:

Atrium said:
If she's 10 years younger than you, she's probably my age. Consider the contrast here.




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OfflineAtrium
Cunt Tickler


Registered: 08/18/13
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #21773201 - 06/07/15 08:53 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I'm probably her age and I don't play any games. If they play any games I'm moving on. She's playing games you say. She's too immature for ME. I'm just saying see what's up. It's all good though, dudes 10+ years at my work banging chicks my age and younger. Just shows me their inner personality easier.


--------------------
The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it.

The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry. :tongue2:


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OfflineCLIT
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #21853537 - 06/25/15 01:55 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

ok so the bitch seem to want to continue to be a narcissist and play games, how do I counter this? Do I play along with it and be a bigger narcissist? Would looking at her as she is playing her games and making me jealous mean I can take it and would this tell her I'm confident enough which then makes her feel like her games comes back at her, instead of looking away? Looking away would tell her I can't stand her games, but looking at her act stupid may make her think twice? Would playing a harsher version of her games make her like me more or piss her off? I would assume it would piss her off to a point that she ends up hating me more than actually liking me?


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Offlineempty space
the void


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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #21853671 - 06/25/15 03:23 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

you are over thinking this. just be present.


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OfflineCLIT
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: empty space]
    #21853705 - 06/25/15 03:42 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

yeah I know my Vyvanse tend to make me overthink. Should I tell her in whispers I want to eat her out?

Quote:

empty space said:
you are over thinking this. just be present.




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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #21854533 - 06/25/15 10:36 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Just fucking talk to her...:lol::awegroove:


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Offlinekykeion
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #21855904 - 06/25/15 04:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

What do you want with/from her?

Do you wanna have sex, or do you just want her to stop looking at you?

I'm not really understanding your problem?

Either be like "hey you're cute, lets hangout naked, but I don't want a girlfriend,"  or start obviously flirting with other women in front of her.  Or better yet let out a loud rancid fart in her proximity. Problem solved.

Or just tell her you don't date co-workers.


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OfflineCLIT
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #22132869 - 08/23/15 08:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

doesn't it usually mean if one is playing games with another it means they're the one crazy about that person they're playing games with? Right? What's the psychology behind this?


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OfflineShining Cosmos
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: CLIT]
    #22133421 - 08/23/15 11:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Stop being a poonface and ask if she wants to chill.


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Offlinebrokentv
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: Shining Cosmos]
    #22133568 - 08/24/15 12:42 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Shining Cosmos said:
Stop being a poonface and ask if she wants to chill.



yeah just ask her to do something with you anything really. Her response will give you much of the information you seek


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OfflineCLIT
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Re: how does one deal with a crazy admirer? [Re: empty space]
    #27228583 - 02/27/21 02:09 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

I think I finally concluded with what she was really about:

Self-defeating personality disorder - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-defeating_personality_disorder

Quote:

empty space said:
you are over thinking this. just be present.




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