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Macey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD



Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? 1
#21759757 - 06/03/15 11:20 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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1. I was semi-stoned. 2. I was on my front porch eating blue crabs with my boyfriend, who was already asking me for a BJ after the meal. 3. My bra strap was cutting into my shoulders. I was wearing a Nike sports bra- medium activity. 4. The shells from the blue crabs paper cut my hands and the seasoning was stinging the cuts pretty good. 5. Boyfriend dumps beer on my hands to rinse the cuts- Thanks, nigga, now I have beer all over my porch and the yellow jackets are hovering around. 6. My phone rings, he reaches over to pick it up to hand it to me... with no napkins and crab gut hands.. Thanks, a-hole. 7. While my BF hands me the phone, I start on a cursing tirade about who could be calling..... Looked at the number and it was by boss.. he heard. 8. While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
WTF?
I then learned that my neighbor raised chickens. I picked up the chicken and returned it to the neighbor.
FML.....
-------------------- Hugs and Kisses!
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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard] 1
#21759807 - 06/03/15 11:35 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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You had open wounds on your hands and picked up a dirty ass yard chicken.
Go to the doctor tomorrow and tell him that so you can get some anti-biotics. You don't wanna lose your hands like Zombi3f33t is gonna lose his feet.
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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Angel_Above
Nobody


Registered: 09/25/08
Posts: 5,348
Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard]
#21759819 - 06/03/15 11:38 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Macey your posts are golden haha. Honestly before your most recent resurgence, had no idea what a quality poster you were.
That's so funny. It's honestly like a movie scene, just one thing after another and then.... a random chicken
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musiclover420
psychonaut



Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 19,563
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Angel_Above]
#21759855 - 06/03/15 11:51 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Nice numbering of each part off the story too 
Your boyfriend sounds like a real gentleman
-------------------- Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard]
#21759901 - 06/04/15 12:17 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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we have two chickens living on our front yard man. they showed up out of nowhere, i am guessing some neighbors down the street must have moved and they left these little critters hanging. anyway that was maybe about 4 years ago?.., they've been living on our front yard in some bushes and a tree, since then. we pretty much took them in and they get fed regularly and drink out of our dogs bowl of water. they some wild ones tho man, think about it, 4 years pretty much out on their own, through harsh winds and cold temperatures, those mofos be living in trees n shit now, they're like how original chickens used to live.
they're pretty neat, i enjoy having them around.
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 45 minutes, 12 seconds
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard]
#21760094 - 06/04/15 02:21 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Make tacos
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Seriously_trippin]
#21760109 - 06/04/15 02:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Did he at least get that Bj
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Demonic_Chronic
The Plague Doctress



Registered: 08/10/08
Posts: 4,199
Loc: PNW
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#21760114 - 06/04/15 02:35 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: Did he at least get that Bj
DC
-------------------- The Real violence, the violence that I realized was unforgiveable Is the violence that we do to ourselves When we are too afraid to be, who we really are.
 
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Macey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD



Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#21760270 - 06/04/15 04:25 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: Did he at least get that Bj
Hell no!
Would you want a crab seasoned lipped woman blowing your meat stick and leaving it smelling like old bay seasoning and old English 800? With the possibility of giving you chicken dix disease?
-------------------- Hugs and Kisses!
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Macey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD



Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: zZZz]
#21760276 - 06/04/15 04:27 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
zZZz said: we have two chickens living on our front yard man. they showed up out of nowhere, i am guessing some neighbors down the street must have moved and they left these little critters hanging. anyway that was maybe about 4 years ago?.., they've been living on our front yard in some bushes and a tree, since then. we pretty much took them in and they get fed regularly and drink out of our dogs bowl of water. they some wild ones tho man, think about it, 4 years pretty much out on their own, through harsh winds and cold temperatures, those mofos be living in trees n shit now, they're like how original chickens used to live.
they're pretty neat, i enjoy having them around.
I guess at some point chickens were actually wild animals and lived on their own- or still do naturally in some places. I didn't know a chicken could get up in the trees.
-------------------- Hugs and Kisses!
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard]
#21760282 - 06/04/15 04:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Macey Howard said:
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: Did he at least get that Bj
Hell no!
Would you want a crab seasoned lipped woman blowing your meat stick and leaving it smelling like old bay seasoning and old English 800? With the possibility of giving you chicken dix disease?
God that sounds like the most ghetto meal and yes. Yes I would
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Macey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD



Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: musiclover420]
#21760283 - 06/04/15 04:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
musiclover420 said:

Nice numbering of each part off the story too 
Your boyfriend sounds like a real gentleman 
Aww thanks, he is a nice guy, but his punk ads was scared to pick up the chicken. I'm all paranoid now thanks to Supachopper... has me thinking I got chicken aids or something
-------------------- Hugs and Kisses!
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Macey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD



Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Angel_Above]
#21760288 - 06/04/15 04:32 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Angel_Above said: Macey your posts are golden haha. Honestly before your most recent resurgence, had no idea what a quality poster you were.
That's so funny. It's honestly like a movie scene, just one thing after another and then.... a random chicken
You're so sweet! thank you very much. Hopefully I'll be around more.
Hugs to you.
-------------------- Hugs and Kisses!
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard] 1
#21760290 - 06/04/15 04:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Macey Howard said:
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: Did he at least get that Bj
Hell no!
Would you want a crab seasoned lipped woman blowing your meat stick and leaving it smelling like old bay seasoning and old English 800? With the possibility of giving you chicken dix disease?
Ugh man, that reminds of this Asian guy who was telling me about this date that he went on… apparently he took her to Boiling Crab (which IMO is a HORRIBLE first-date location, because it's REALLY SPICY Cajun seafood and makes you stink like garlic shit for 3 days after…
Apparently he was going down on her and fingering her at the same time, and after a few minute of that shit she started spazzing the fuck out SCREAMING because it was burning her genitals like crazy.
Yeah, I would never ever eat that shit on a date beforehand, ESPECIALLY if I KNEW I was going to fuck somebody later that night. That stuff is not till like AT LEAST 6-month relationship status. Cause y'know, that's when y'all start farting and burping around each other and pissing and shitting with the door open anyway.
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Macey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD



Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Crystal G]
#21760345 - 06/04/15 05:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said:
Quote:
Macey Howard said:
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: Did he at least get that Bj
Hell no!
Would you want a crab seasoned lipped woman blowing your meat stick and leaving it smelling like old bay seasoning and old English 800? With the possibility of giving you chicken dix disease?
Ugh man, that reminds of this Asian guy who was telling me about this date that he went on… apparently he took her to Boiling Crab (which IMO is a HORRIBLE first-date location, because it's REALLY SPICY Cajun seafood and makes you stink like garlic shit for 3 days after…
Apparently he was going down on her and fingering her at the same time, and after a few minute of that shit she started spazzing the fuck out SCREAMING because it was burning her genitals like crazy.
Yeah, I would never ever eat that shit on a date beforehand, ESPECIALLY if I KNEW I was going to fuck somebody later that night. That stuff is not till like AT LEAST 6-month relationship status. Cause y'know, that's when y'all start farting and burping around each other and pissing and shitting with the door open anyway.
I just pee-laughed..
-------------------- Hugs and Kisses!
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trippinballs420
Samall Johnson



Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard]
#21760508 - 06/04/15 07:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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women dont poop
or fart
-------------------- ModestMouse said: "Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
"
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard]
#21760687 - 06/04/15 08:28 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Macey Howard said: 1. I was semi-stoned. 2. I was on my front porch eating blue crabs with my boyfriend, who was already asking me for a BJ after the meal. 3. My bra strap was cutting into my shoulders. I was wearing a Nike sports bra- medium activity. 4. The shells from the blue crabs paper cut my hands and the seasoning was stinging the cuts pretty good. 5. Boyfriend dumps beer on my hands to rinse the cuts- Thanks, nigga, now I have beer all over my porch and the yellow jackets are hovering around. 6. My phone rings, he reaches over to pick it up to hand it to me... with no napkins and crab gut hands.. Thanks, a-hole. 7. While my BF hands me the phone, I start on a cursing tirade about who could be calling..... Looked at the number and it was by boss.. he heard. 8. While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
WTF?
I then learned that my neighbor raised chickens. I picked up the chicken and returned it to the neighbor.
FML.....
You need to get a bra that fits. Everything else seems fine to me.
--------------------
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stratocast
Has Been



Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 345
Loc: ohio, U.S.
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: zappaisgod]
#21760707 - 06/04/15 08:36 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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My neighbor had a turkey, ducks and chickens in his yard. And i live in a city. He got a permit to have them because he said his son was autistic and it was good for him. The kid seemed fine to me, and I'm sure it was just a work around because the kid literally never cared for them. I grew up in the country so it never bothered me, but some people were pissed. The turkey got out and i put it back when it was little. When it grew up, it turned alpha bird and pecked the shit out of a couple people. Lol.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Macey Howard]
#21760944 - 06/04/15 09:48 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Macey Howard said: While all this is happening... a brown chicken calmly struts across my front lawn, picking up crab bits that we had flung off our hands.
did you know it's legal to keep cows in the city limits of atlanta?
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: motherducking chickens in my yard..... WTF?.. i really mean, W T F? [Re: Supachopped719] 1
#21760951 - 06/04/15 09:50 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Supachopped719 said: You had open wounds on your hands and picked up a dirty ass yard chicken.
Go to the doctor tomorrow and tell him that so you can get some anti-biotics. You don't wanna lose your hands like Zombi3f33t is gonna lose his feet.
Yeah, because farmers never get cuts before they deal with livestock.
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