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InvisibleSheekle
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Registered: 01/11/10
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: SunnyD]
    #21753166 - 06/02/15 02:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

my little lysergic sluts....................

.................



:heart:


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OfflineHerbologist
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: SunnyD]
    #21753178 - 06/02/15 02:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

AddyZomeD said:
Quote:

Supachopped719 said:
Was it the etiz that made you dose so irresponsibly? I know that once you start dosing that shit all good decisions take a vacation for the day.

Never taken it but it seems from the reports that smart people go full retard on a benzo binge.



Benzo blackouts is time travel,
you are not even aware 1% in the midst of a benzo blackout,  I know for a fact  if on my final black out if I had more stash of deadly drugs like zombie had, I would be dead, I essentuallly  ate every drug in my stash, including 80mg 5meoMIPT 2500+ DPH, 200ug allad not very much, and 120mg etizolam with no tolerance, if I had a drug like doc laying around, it would probably be a similar story this

Benzo blackouts, are the worst of any drug I feel



Also im so glad, you made it zombi3 I would truly have cried for days if you didn't :hug:

Its so crazy, this whole shiband was



I hope this is a warning for drug abuse, for all





:lol: so true.  the black out is just like time travel.  One minute you're having a good time and the next its tomorrow and you dont even know what happened.


Im glad Op is taking a break and posted this for others to read, it could save a life.


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: SunnyD]
    #21753180 - 06/02/15 02:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Its precisely that in my opinion. Benzodiazepines can put you in a state where you are mentally impaired yet physically functional, in a way that often leads to overdoses and utterly reckless behaviors that are completely alien to the person when sober.

People in that state are a danger to themselves and others and no longer fully in charge of their faculties.


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Registered: 11/13/10
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
    #21753305 - 06/02/15 03:28 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, I lost a lot of friends due to my etizolam blackouts. A lot of the time you're actually aware but everything is numb. You might be talking but can't tell and sure as hell don't give a shit. Even the friends who "took" me back still look at me with distrust(even though it was always myself I hurt). Nobody will go to the bar with me anymore. I know I can handle a few beers as long as I don't drink a quart of rum and take 60mg of etizolam before I go out, but convincing people to believe that after they've seen me fall off the wagon repeatedly is impossible. I've even just showed up and drank responsibly a few times. I could tell they were all concerned but I never got drunk. I always drove myself home just fine. People have a harder time getting over their own convictions than drug addicts do getting normal. They all think an addict will always be an addict. No recovery or evolution possible.


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Invisiblechicksgrowtoo
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
    #21753307 - 06/02/15 03:28 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Glad to hear you're doing well zombi3!!! If you need someone to chat with while you're healing hmu, I'm on bedrest because of a rocky situation with my own health so I'm up for chatting anytime if you're bored.

Sending good vibes your way :hug:


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21753392 - 06/02/15 03:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Crazy nothing physically wrong with being positive though


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OfflineNiggatoe
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Konyap]
    #21753452 - 06/02/15 04:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Damn son! That shit was intense to read! I'm glad you made it out okay(ish) dude and I like your attitude the whole situation. I don't believe in religion due to my own personal experiences, but I respect your beliefs and how you came to believe what you do. Good luck on your toes and I hope you feel better! <3


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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Niggatoe]
    #21753497 - 06/02/15 04:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Guys the dream job I had lined up, the one I was supposed to start yesterday...
The one who told me I had such good credentials they would wait until September for me to heal...
Just backed out on me.

I spent 3 years in school and month applying to that job. I finally got 2 perssonnel recommendations for the job a few months ago while still in school which landed me a higher position than anticipated at first.

I was supposed to be crop supervisor over 70 acres of indoor hydroponic tomato production in a state of the art greenhouse.

When this all went down they said they specifically wanted me so bad theyd wait until at least September 1st for me to heal. A solid 3 months.

Today I got the email... "We decided we can no longer hold the position"

My spirits have seriously been crushed. That job was my saving grace out of all this. Thats what I was holding on to.

I feel beat down, broken, stupid, and worthless. I dont know how im supposed to stay positive now.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #21753505 - 06/02/15 04:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Thanks for the write up friend.


Wow, u really fought for your life. And im glad u believe in God. Very cool and important. Its a mircule u are alive and lost so little from the experience.

Its good to see u come back from such an ordeal. We are all happy u are mostly OK And still alive.

Welcome home :hug:

EDIT: sorry about your career/job. Live and learn. We all make mistakes we regret. Its part of life. Dont worry, u will find another similar job in the future. Dont lose hope yet.


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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
    #21753533 - 06/02/15 04:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I was religious my entire life until I moved away to college and had a falling out.

This restored my faith because even the doctors told me they werent entirely sure what saved me.

No I would not have survived or kept my legs without the doctors, but they didnt know exactly what they were doing beyond following the book in a case there was nothing to follow.

I believe god intervened because the doctors gave up on my legs and scheduled an amputation. I suddenly and miraculously turned around almost over night without explanation.


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Invisiblepassifloracaerulea
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
    #21753541 - 06/02/15 04:26 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Shit that really sucks, but you do still have your legs! Jobs like that are hard to come by and buying your own commercial greenhouses is out of the question for most people.


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OfflineDpRwav
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #21753608 - 06/02/15 04:45 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Hey man youre definitely not stupid or worthless. Chin up man you cheated death after all.

The universe works in mysterious ways.


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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: DpRwav]
    #21753620 - 06/02/15 04:48 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I did cheat death. That is a cool feeling. Yes, thats a cool feeling.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
    #21753665 - 06/02/15 04:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

We all cheat death everyday.  Not all of us decide to taunt her, though.


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OfflineHerbologist
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #21753673 - 06/02/15 05:00 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

If they wanted you that bad, other opportunities will be around the corner :dancer:


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OfflineDpRwav
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21753692 - 06/02/15 05:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
We all cheat death everyday.  Not all of us decide to taunt her, though.



Watch 1000 ways to die too much?

But obviously yea driving is dangerous so is walking down the street with those same people driving.


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: DpRwav]
    #21753696 - 06/02/15 05:05 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Where you from OP?


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: DpRwav]
    #21753697 - 06/02/15 05:05 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Never seen it.  It is just an obvious fact


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InvisibleFriedEggS
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #21753708 - 06/02/15 05:07 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Zombi3 said:
I believe god intervened because the doctors gave up on my legs and scheduled an amputation.



..... or....
maybe doctors always give you the worst case scenario?  especially in cases where irresponsible drug use is involved?

if they really exhausted all their options, why didn't they amputate your legs right away?  why schedule it for a few days?  it sounds like it was their last hope and they were going to try the meds a few more days.


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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Patlal]
    #21753714 - 06/02/15 05:09 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Grew up north of Oshawa in a small town, thats where Im stying with my family now.

But Ive been living in St Catharines for the past 3 years while at college.

Canada.


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