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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: zappaisgod]
#21812167 - 06/15/15 08:09 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yup my mom was taken way before her time imo. She died from inoperable cancer when she was 36, leaving 4 kids behind. Ages 5, 8, 9, 10.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21812181 - 06/15/15 08:12 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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My mom went at around 48 but she had me and Nancy when she was very young so we were grown. Diana wasn't. I think she was around 13. My father was a damn good man and did the best he could do but he wasn't a mom
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: zappaisgod]
#21812191 - 06/15/15 08:15 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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My dad is the strongest man I know by far. He remarried after 3 years I think, my step mom is a fantastic person.
But I'll always miss my mom.
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante] 1
#21812233 - 06/15/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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A tribute to our mothers, in all respect.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21812250 - 06/15/15 08:26 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Mine didn't remarry but he did get a permanent girlfriend. I think it was longer than 3 years though. Both of my parents were good smart people. The interesting thing is that they were totally diametrically opposed and did not get along at the end. The baby dieing ruined my mother
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3] 1
#21812870 - 06/15/15 10:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Zombi3 said: My moms death was never a reason to do drugs for me. I didn't use anything except weed after her death. Once I had come to terms and accepted it fully i did other drugs. While I miss her incredibly I've never needed drugs to cope with not having her around. I do drugs for other reasons.
Not my mother , but I have dreams about friends who overdose.. I think it's really them.. I've had friends who overdosed come to me and apologize to me. Be me for my forgiveness and all this when I tell them It's not there fault and if anything it's my fault for not being able to save them. I've always and will always feel guilty for my friends overdoses deaths, I wasnt there to watch any of them personally but , I didn't intervene when their drug problem was getting out of hand... Sometimes I feel like not intervening makes me a murderer... It's hard sometimes...
Both parties usually end up crying in the dreams and I always wake up with tears all over , like I'm actually crying from my dreams.
I have such a problem blaming myself for things that weren't my fault, and even worse blaimg myself for things that weren't my fault.. Even mushrooms haven't really helped it yet in all aspects.. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for some of the things i've did. Even people who forgive me for the things I've done, I'll never forgive myself for them.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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wrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy



Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
Last seen: 6 hours, 45 minutes
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Psychonautica] 1
#21812998 - 06/15/15 11:35 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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todcasil winds up in my dreams from time to time. only person ive known to die to do so, so far. never quite know how to feel about it. usually just bums me out.
-------------------- how's your WOW?
Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM)
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: wrestler_az]
#21813160 - 06/16/15 12:42 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Makes you really wonder about the reality level of dreams huh? They are real on some level or they wouldnt be a part of this universe.
Plenty of stories of people meeting in a dream and doing stuff, then they wake up and both have recollected it.
I noticed myself that dreams draw in information from the past AND future.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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wrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy



Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
Last seen: 6 hours, 45 minutes
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21813231 - 06/16/15 01:22 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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no, not really. it actually makes perfect sense i would dream about him, he was one of my best friends. what surprises me, is our natural tendency to want to make such connections. it is a nice little fantasy to play around with from time to time, but i dont go on to think he is actually communicating with me, any more than its my sub conscious brain settling the emotional/traumatic experience.
not to say there isnt something special out there in dream land though. just that i dont think anything that could survive this consciousness could ever come back to it or even relate to it at all, at least not on any level i could dream of.
-------------------- how's your WOW?
Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM)
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musiclover420
psychonaut



Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 19,563
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21813246 - 06/16/15 01:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That is some interesting stuff about your moms, pretty beautiful really. Not them dying of course, I am very sorry to hear that. But I tend to believe things happen for a reason and them living on within you is beautiful indeed. Sometimes I feel like my mom is going to die soon, becouse she over works herself hardcore and has a lot of issues. It is a weird feeling, of course I always try to fight the thought but it makes sense on many levels that she wouldn't live to be too old I hope I am just crazy though 
I really want to master lucid dreaming, the human brain is pretty crazy in the experiences it can cause.
I have always tripped out at the similarities between dreams and psychedelics, makes me really wonder about he indigenous dmt in the brain theory.
-------------------- Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free
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Trichome_Delta9


Registered: 12/30/14
Posts: 1,969
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: musiclover420]
#21813404 - 06/16/15 04:02 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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.
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musiclover420
psychonaut



Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 19,563
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Trichome_Delta9]
#21813437 - 06/16/15 04:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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. huh? serious shit right hereQuote:
Trichome_Delta9 said: .
-------------------- Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: musiclover420] 2
#21818339 - 06/17/15 09:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Updated foot pic, taken today! Left foot only, everything that's black is what I'm goin to lose, everything skin coloured I can keep hopefully. My right foot looks like a normal foot minus not having toe nails, but I won't lose any toes on the right.

That haggard zone on top of my foot is where the blisters were and when they were taken off the skin was so raw its taking forever to heal. The nurse assures me everything looks as good as it could in my scenario.
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!! In Crust We Trust
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passifloracaerulea



Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 10,485
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21818367 - 06/17/15 09:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Can't you just pick the black scabby toes off or would there be bone exposed?
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: passifloracaerulea]
#21818478 - 06/17/15 10:26 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm not sure lol but I did think of that.
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!! In Crust We Trust
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jboredone
Money-The root of all evil....



Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 4,783
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21818541 - 06/17/15 10:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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damn dude....trim those toe nails......
-------------------- Peace Pot Micro-Dot God Loves You High or Not!!! In order to grow old and wise, you must once have been young and dumb!

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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: jboredone]
#21818568 - 06/17/15 10:51 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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My mom hasn't died yet and I hope not for a long time. I was actually just about to hop in the shower and go visit for a minute. Strongest person I know. I call her a modern day super hero.
Raised 4 kids who are all doing well for themselves. Sisters at a 40k a year school for free. Has traveled much of SA. Speaks fluent Portuguese and Spanish, brother starting collegee next year at 16, sister plays 5 instruments, classical and jazz band, sports, and advanced placement fast tracking her as well. At 13
I was the fuck up but I'm doing OK and have done quite a lot of cool shit and am doing good for myself now.
All while my dad left us 8 years ago which was a relief I was really tired of watching him beat my mom. Living in a 2 bed room apartment crammed together. I don't know how she did it.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
Edited by Enjoywho (06/17/15 10:54 AM)
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YelloManSoldier
Psychonaut



Registered: 04/02/15
Posts: 1,132
Loc: Lil Pakistan
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: jboredone]
#21818575 - 06/17/15 10:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Trimming those would be like clipping kale chips... The'll turn into dust and float away with the breeze!
-------------------- ----------------------------------------- Jack Ü --------------------------------------------
       
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Enjoywho]
#21818576 - 06/17/15 10:53 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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But I graduated with honors. Attended college for a year. I'm just the one that got into drugs that ruined what I truly could have been. But I'm rebuilding that's life and I'm pretty satisfied how far I've come. 2 years clean of heroin as of 2 days ago. Life's good.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21818592 - 06/17/15 10:57 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Jeezus man.. ur foot looks like u came back from a post apocalyptic war zone of cyborgs.. Or like u stepped into hell and came back with just a few scabs..
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