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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: kushroom]
#21775128 - 06/07/15 05:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I haven't smelled my toes patlal... But the nurse gets right close and hasn't complained or made any funny faces yet. I'll ask her what the fragrance down there is like when she changes the bandages tomorrow.
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
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jboredone
Money-The root of all evil....



Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 4,783
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Patlal] 1
#21775132 - 06/07/15 05:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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when you gonna dose again?
-------------------- Peace Pot Micro-Dot God Loves You High or Not!!! In order to grow old and wise, you must once have been young and dumb!

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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: jboredone] 2
#21775147 - 06/07/15 05:20 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm not dosing again until full physical and mental recovery. Plus I want stability in a good job. I don't see myself dosing again until 2016 sometime. I'm really in no hurry.
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lifeiswhatyoumake
Trance in my sig n blood



Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 16,713
Last seen: 37 minutes, 46 seconds
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: jboredone]
#21775353 - 06/07/15 06:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
jboredone said: when you gonna dose again?
Wow, did you really ask that?
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  I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ;   
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21779694 - 06/08/15 05:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Zombie3, I'm going to unload a bit of crazy talk on you, I apologize if it offends you.
Spirits are teaching me things about the universe and human beings, they are preparing me to become a spirit worker and healer.
I have some information which really is off the wall but which you might find useful.
The human organism is a Deity/Universe onto its own. There is a duality between body and mind where parts of the body correspond with parts of the mind and spirit.
Your feet are the periphery of your Universe, the furthest removed from your central mass. In the Deity that is you, the Heart represent Heaven and the feet represent Hell. The left foot represents Fear and the right foot, Doubt.
You are wounded, partially died, on the left foot, the Hell of Fear.
I urge you to meditate strongly, and to in that state forgive and set free all souls who have wronged you, in particular all people and situations who have caused you fear.
Which people and events caused you the most suffering in terms of fear? Relive it and then fully forgive and absolve them, before God. Draw the ones you cast out furthest, banned to your Hell, into your heart, into your Heaven. Spiritually speaking, as the Deity you are, don't be a vengeful God and empty out your Hell.
Doing this thoroughly and with loving intent will optimize the healing process before, during and after the surgery.
You know how important forgiveness and absolution is. Now practice it with fortitude on those who wronged you, people and situations until you have no one left to forgive. Do not forget to forgive and absolve yourself and the Devil. Forgiving yourself and forgiving personified Evil will be hardest for most.
Most people reading this will probably find this nuts, but I hope you see enough merit in this to do this, and to do it soon. The sooner the better.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779728 - 06/08/15 05:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779742 - 06/08/15 05:27 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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There is a person in particular who causes me great deals of stress and fear. They hav done so for many years and I have not been able to even think about forgiveness, Im so distraught still over the circumstances that led up to the failing pf the relationship and still to this day turmoil fills my life on their account.
I have nearly come to terms with this, nearly forgiving myself, but that personnal forgiveness is shaken daily. I feel tightness in my chest, I have frequent headaches, Im lethargic and I sleep a lot most days. I rarely smile..
Your post made me smile, Asante. I will try and head your advice. I am pretty weak at this given moment though..
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21779757 - 06/08/15 05:30 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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If what Asante says helps you in anyway I am very happy for you and appreciative to him.
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: zappaisgod]
#21779762 - 06/08/15 05:32 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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It would do me a lot of good to make amends with a few people, maybe now IS the best time to do so..
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21779766 - 06/08/15 05:33 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Did this person feature to some extent in your trips leading up to this? I feel that forgiving this person is key.
On the risk of sounding like Oprah, forgiveness is mostly a gift that you give yourself. Not forgiving someone keeps your resources tied.
I know how hard it is. If you manage to, though, its as easy as turning a push into a pull.
Quote:
It would do me a lot of good to make amends with a few people, maybe now IS the best time to do so..
Please do, internally and perhaps in some cases also externally.
Forgiveness does not require the others presence. If its a toxic person it might even be better to forgive them in theior absence, their soul will pick it up regardless.
This is also a spiritual journey.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779776 - 06/08/15 05:36 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yes this person has featured many times in some noteable trips.. A DMT trip, multiple high dose mushroom trips, multiple LSD trips, and a 2 high dose AL-LAD trips...
The cosmos are begging me to forgive them. Or forgive myself..
Ive been tubborn. I dont know why I hold on to the resentment so tightly..
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779800 - 06/08/15 05:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Zombi3, 100mg of DOC in 24 hours, you went suicidally deep into the spirit world looking for something. So deep it became a life or death situation, a lethal dose, but not to die. I think you sought healing for this situation, what vexes you about this person. I tell you my strange tale and immediately this person pops up in you. I think this is it.
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
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Last seen: 29 minutes, 4 seconds
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21779802 - 06/08/15 05:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Partly Asante,some of what you said is essentially scientific fact. Basically it sounded like keep good spirits man. Good spirits help for healing and that's true.Also that in different cultures/mindsets people actually consider feet the source of evil and such. Maybe that's just you.
I'm going to go bck to your epiphany thread do to read more about your theory in life.
Personnal forgiveness is shaken daily. I feel tightness in my chest, I have frequent headaches, Im lethargic and I sleep a lot most days. I rarely smile..
I feel this way more and more everyday. More pain,nausea,lethargy,sleep A LOT. Among other things =(
Anyway man most important part of all of this is that you ARE ALIVE.Quote:
Zombi3 said: It would do me a lot of good to make amends with a few people, maybe now IS the best time to do so..
I agree it will really help the tension,grudges and past pains help to start heal and bring you to a more peaceful state.
I actually did this after my near death expirience when I was 18 and drowned in whitewater.Was dead for 2 minutes and barely walked for the next 3 months but after that I made peace WIth EVERYONE I knew. It helped me rekindle friendships,helped me become very peaceful and lead me to VERY laid back part of my life. I quit cold turkey a terrible Morphine and Hydromorphone 2 year addiction. I felt they always did so much for me.
I think it's a good idea though broski
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779840 - 06/08/15 05:51 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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The one person who vexes me in particular did and said a lot of emotionally traumatizing things at a very vulnerable part of my life. Its an ex girlfriend... We split on the most heinous of terms near 4 years ago and I never forgave her for any of what she did. I never felt like she forgave me for the misdeads that were my fault. And neither of us forgave ourselves to any sort of comfortable extent. I see her aura often in my trips. Ive seen her aura in times of great struggle in my life. The day i was transferred from the regular ER to the Intensive Care Unit via ambulane, I felt her aura among others. I still find it exceedingly frightful and difficult to talk to her, even via text...
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779872 - 06/08/15 05:56 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Its a shame you cant dose a psychedelic but under these conditions I agree with you that you absolutely shouldnt dose. Not as much for your mind as your body, you had a severe physical reaction and any psychedelic would amount to "a hair of the dog that bit you". Too many wildcards after a whole pharmacy washed through you.
I recommend you to do it in prayer/meditation, how you usually appoach God can be a guide. Burn a candle, perhaps some incense. Make it an occasion.
Its really best if you forgive this person, and yourself, and the evil that was done, before you go under the blade. Anesthesia will subconsciously take you to the spirit world, arrive there with a clear conscience.
Forgive and absolve, when you are ready. If the Universe like you said begged you to let go, then do.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21779882 - 06/08/15 05:58 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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We'll if she is as bad as u say then she's probably still feeding off ur negative energies man. Best to just forgive before u even think about not forgiving them..
Forgiveness doesn't mean u forget everything that has happened, it means u understand it.. We're humans and we're stupid mang
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779890 - 06/08/15 05:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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My critics will have a field day with this one, but I can send you a spirit to aid you if you like, nothing would happen that the Most High wouldnt approve of.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779893 - 06/08/15 06:00 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said: Its really best if you forgive this person, and yourself, and the evil that was done, before you go under the blade. Anesthesia will subconsciously take you to the spirit world, arrive there with a clear conscience.
My biggest fear of going under, is that Ill be left for hours in my subconscious, probably on ketamine (thats what they used for the fashiotomy) and while under Ill have to face my fear of this person.
Maybe it is essential I connect with her before the next surgery...
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Zombi3]
#21779901 - 06/08/15 06:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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4 Years? I don't mean to be a dick but you should have been over it after 4 months at most. That's about how long it took for me after Roxy broke my heart. Stop wallowing.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: My near death experience - Almost killed myself with irresponsible research chemical dosing. [Re: Asante]
#21779912 - 06/08/15 06:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said: My critics will have a field day with this one, but I can send you a spirit to aid you if you like, nothing would happen that the Most High wouldnt approve of.
Actually I don't think the most high is very fond of deity worship.. He's a jealous god remember?
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