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Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Anonymous #1

Im slipping..
    #21747303 - 06/01/15 03:50 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I fell in love for the first time in my life. I lost her. long story short she wants NOTHING to do with me ever again. this kills me inside. help. I am slipping to a dark place where I want to try and talk to her but that makes her hate me more.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
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Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: Im slipping.. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21747458 - 06/01/15 06:24 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It's always darkest before the dawn.


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleCherryBomM
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Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
Re: Im slipping.. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21747616 - 06/01/15 08:17 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

This isn't love.

Love makes you stronger.  It makes you whole, it makes you a better person.  This is fixation.  You don't love her... you love the idea of her.  You are idealizing her.  Stop giving this woman all your power.  I know that is easier said then done...

But even just realizing that this fixation isn't based in reality will start the healing process.  You don't love her.  She doesn't exist the way you expect her to.

Expectations create our biggest disappointment. 

Good luck.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Im slipping.. [Re: CherryBom]
    #21749389 - 06/01/15 04:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

CherryBom said:
This isn't love.

Love makes you stronger.  It makes you whole, it makes you a better person.  This is fixation.  You don't love her... you love the idea of her.  You are idealizing her.  Stop giving this woman all your power.  I know that is easier said then done...

But even just realizing that this fixation isn't based in reality will start the healing process.  You don't love her.  She doesn't exist the way you expect her to.

Expectations create our biggest disappointment. 

Good luck.





I don't understand what this means? I hear it a lot from girls and it makes no sense to me as a guy. the more I hear that it makes me think that's how all girls do every relationship when they break up.

she told me the same thing... but she did make me stronger believe me... I was a worse person before I met her. how can I trust myself to find love if I am wrong and I don't even know what love is.....

why did she tell me the things she told me? why does it feel like she lied about everything and just played along now....


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InvisibleCherryBomM
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Re: Im slipping.. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21749431 - 06/01/15 05:09 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It just means that your love is one sided.  You love her, but she doesn't love you back.  That's not real love.  Real love goes both ways.  Loving her hurts you, she can't love you back the way you need her to.  She is telling you that and you are not accepting it.

That's not how love works.  Your expectations are way more real then your 'love' and that is really painful.  Don't you think you deserve something real?

Quote:

Anonymous said:

why did she tell me the things she told me? why does it feel like she lied about everything and just played along now....




She didn't lie to you dude.  She told you exactly the truth.  You're not listening.

Quote:

Anonymous said:
she told me the same thing... but she did make me stronger believe me...




Let her go.  She's not your girl.  :heart:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Im slipping.. [Re: CherryBom]
    #21749463 - 06/01/15 05:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

CherryBom said:
It just means that your love is one sided.  You love her, but she doesn't love you back.  That's not real love.  Real love goes both ways.  Loving her hurts you, she can't love you back the way you need her to.  She is telling you that and you are not accepting it.

That's not how love works.  Your expectations are way more real then your 'love' and that is really painful.  Don't you think you deserve something real?

Quote:

Anonymous said:

why did she tell me the things she told me? why does it feel like she lied about everything and just played along now....




She didn't lie to you dude.  She told you exactly the truth.  You're not listening.

Quote:

Anonymous said:
she told me the same thing... but she did make me stronger believe me...




Let her go.  She's not your girl.  :heart:




I mean everything she told me before things just changed it feels like she lied...
it is killing me missing her I just hope everyday she will message me and we can ATLEAST be friends again but she wants nothing to do with me. I am listening to her I know everything she said and how much she wants me to just let he live her life. its just hard because I was told to be persistant and whatnot but giving up feels like the opposite.

I JUST miss having her in my life...

it seems like she wanted to destroy everything good about me she influenced before she left my life for good. she once told me she wouldn't be sad if I died she would be happy....

that makes her seem like a mean girl but really shes the sweetst girl I have ever met.

I don't know EXACTLY what I did I think I came off obsessive to her which is what she just wanted. all I did was text her a lot once she told me she was sad that I couldn't do that and then it became an issue....


THIS has REALLY affected my ability to move on and look for another girl. usually I wouldn't have a problem but since I met her it kills me to even think about trying again.

im sick of getting hurt...


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InvisibleCherryBomM
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Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
Re: Im slipping.. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21749473 - 06/01/15 05:24 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
it seems like she wanted to destroy everything good about me she influenced before she left my life for good. she once told me she wouldn't be sad if I died she would be happy....

that makes her seem like a mean girl but really shes the sweetst girl I have ever met.




Yeah dude.  I can see why you're head over heels in love with her.  She sounds like a real doll.

Especially the part about destroying everything good in your life.  That's something really special you want to hold on to.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Im slipping.. [Re: CherryBom]
    #21749505 - 06/01/15 05:31 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

CherryBom said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
it seems like she wanted to destroy everything good about me she influenced before she left my life for good. she once told me she wouldn't be sad if I died she would be happy....

that makes her seem like a mean girl but really shes the sweetst girl I have ever met.




Yeah dude.  I can see why you're head over heels in love with her.  She sounds like a real doll.

Especially the part about destroying everything good in your life.  That's something really special you want to hold on to.





no no she didn't destroy everything in my life its like she took everything she gave me. my confidence happiness and love. she was a doll. I miss her a lot still. I feel like she only did it for both of us. I feel like she felt that me and her would end bad if we stayed together and she wanted to end it before something really bad happened. and she knew how much I cared for her and how much I didn't want to lose her so she went the only route she could.

if you cant tell im so lost without her....


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Offlinekoods
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Registered: 05/26/11
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Re: Im slipping.. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21751411 - 06/02/15 03:47 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you is the worst feeling in the world. There's no easy fix except time. And that clock won't start ticking until you stop thinking - let's be honest, obsessing - about her.

You are lucky that she doesn't want to have anything to do with you. All the reminders of her are under your control. Get rid of things that were hers, or remind you of her. Stop making threads and talking to other people about her. Pretend like she's dead.

You aren't getting her back. It doesn't matter what she said in the past. What matters is she doesn't love you and I would guess she probably loathes you if you are constantly trying to get her attention. Sorry to be harsh, but it's over. There's no going back and you need excise her from your thoughts or you are going to end up lonely and bitter.


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Anonymous #1

Re: Im slipping.. [Re: koods]
    #21751419 - 06/02/15 04:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I understand. Its killing me inside and I think I have ruined my life over this shit....


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InvisibleCherryBomM
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Re: Im slipping.. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21751468 - 06/02/15 05:01 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Do you really believe that your entire life is ruined?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Im slipping.. [Re: CherryBom]
    #21751860 - 06/02/15 09:18 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

no just everything ive done up to now... I moved away from a good job and im way to depressed over this to do ANYTHING. its all my fault I know but yes I feel like ive screwed my life up.


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