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OfflineSoulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: twighead]
    #21750397 - 06/01/15 08:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

hahaha thats funny as lol. but yeah dude the first time i took it i fully had like this night terror brain zap thing. like actual real schitzophrenic symptoms no shit. more then what i had experienced up untill that point. that was only just once though. other then that it just made me dopey and mellowed out - which is good because i'm definitely the bounce off the walls type of personality and go at a million miles an hour naturally

i think taking it daily for 6 months or so messed my liver up a bit too. i had increased liver enzymes. but have been taking milk thistle to balance it out


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R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
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OfflineMushyMatt
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Registered: 10/13/11
Posts: 2,551
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21750549 - 06/01/15 09:28 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I got off respridone and started seroquel about 4 weeks ago. Started modafinil about 2 weeks ago, and been on lithium for 3 months along with klonopin (as needed).

Medications maybe had a slight role in the mania, but I really do think I just hit a manic cycle and had to let my brain play it out. Ended up falling asleep after redoing 5mg of klonopin and listening to pink floyd.


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Reborn - 6/08/13


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OfflineSoulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
Loc: Atlantis Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: MushyMatt]
    #21750589 - 06/01/15 09:40 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

you feel better now??

music always helps myself


--------------------

R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
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OfflineMushyMatt
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: Soulidarity] * 3
    #21750878 - 06/01/15 10:48 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Much better, gunna go take some dabs with some buddies and relax. Refused to take my modafinil today


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Reborn - 6/08/13


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OfflineMushyMatt
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: MushyMatt]
    #22195448 - 09/06/15 01:28 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

The time has come guys. Not now, but it will next year. I promised my daughter I'll take her to disneyworld for her 4th birthday, and after that, it is time to cross sides. I love you all, but its inevitable...


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Reborn - 6/08/13


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InvisibleCowb0yNeal00
Other


Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #22195462 - 09/06/15 01:34 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
When I was big into meth and had nothing to knock me out I'd usually just go into a dark room, jack off for a few hours and play some quiet music to overpower the voices and lay down for a few hours to try to sleep.



lol really?:underage:


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: MushyMatt] * 1
    #22195481 - 09/06/15 01:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MushyMatt said:
The time has come guys. Not now, but it will next year. I promised my daughter I'll take her to disneyworld for her 4th birthday, and after that, it is time to cross sides. I love you all, but its inevitable...



Do what?


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Onlinekoods
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Registered: 05/26/11
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: MushyMatt]
    #22195484 - 09/06/15 01:46 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MushyMatt said:
Quote:

Psychonautica said:
Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
I've stayed up six days without sleep several times he will be fine just go to sleep buddy.




Stupid ass advice. Just because you were fine doesn't mean he doesn't have encephalitis.


I just looked that up and I do have a lot of those symptoms. I was extremely nauseous earlier today and ended up vomiting after drinking a Gatorade. I also think that the symptoms are just caused by the lack of sleep



That sounds more like rabies.


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
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Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: MushyMatt] * 2
    #22195687 - 09/06/15 03:59 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Dude. Don't... You need to get off the drugs. Do whatever it takes besides taking your own life. I can't recommend anything to help make that happen because only you know what needs to be done. Don't take your own life man. This is what the the status quo wants. It needs you dead. Fight it. You are a child of God and you have the power to set this world on fire. Don't waste this opportunity. You are the product of unfathomable odds. And so if everyone you know. Don't give up man. Your life is only beginning.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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OfflineMushyMatt
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: Shiithead]
    #22195753 - 09/06/15 05:02 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

So start a forest fire then down myself in ocm? I prefer to not physically harm other on my passing..


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Reborn - 6/08/13


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Invisiblepoke smot!
floccinocci floofinator
Male


Registered: 01/08/03
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Re: Urgent, need help. *DELETED* [Re: MushyMatt]
    #22195805 - 09/06/15 05:46 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Post deleted by poke smot!

Reason for deletion: x



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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: MushyMatt]
    #22197792 - 09/06/15 03:37 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MushyMatt said:
So start a forest fire then down myself in ocm? I prefer to not physically harm other on my passing..





Really?

Well you will. Your friends, your family, your daughter is going to grow up confused and hurt. I can tell you from experience that suicide is like setting off a nuclear bomb in the lives of your close friends and family.

Please re-think how much you actually matter, because I can tell you even without knowing you that it's much, much more than you think. Don't do that to the people in your life, it's incredibly devastating to have a friend or family member depart this world in such a way.


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InvisibleShiithead
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Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: pirate-blues]
    #22197916 - 09/06/15 03:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's true. Everyone will also think it is their fault. That they should have done more. Including us. Don't do it for us though... Do it for you.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: Shiithead]
    #22198071 - 09/06/15 04:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

And for your daughter, do it for her, too. I believe you can pull through this. I'm glad that you're not making any rash decisions now, but I also hope that you're waiting because deep down you think you can come back from this place yourself.

She deserves to have her dad there for her as she grows up. Existing is painful, and as someone who probably struggles with the same thing you do right down to the days with no sleep and the psychosis, I understand. It takes work, but it gets better, if you need medication, there are options out there that are very very benign and have very little side effects present in most people - Lamictal is one, and because of it I'm in remission and will probably be able to go off of it in the near future.
Even if you want to stay away from meds, cognitive behavioral therapy is really really helpful, and there are probably some options if you don't have insurance or means to see a shrink.

It's not gonna be a quick fix. Think of it like any other ailment, it's going to take some time and work to be able to manage your mental health and your problems won't necessarily go away - but remission is very, very possible. You're going to have to make changes in you're life, and you're going to have to change yourself, but you can do it, and you will be so much happier for it. Life is a real motherfucker, but it's beautiful and it's an adventure, and you will get through this and discover it on your own - and because of everything you've gone through, you'll be a stronger, more interesting person who has greater perspective on things.

I'm gonna leave you with a few links, in case you do not have a therapist or doctor and are interested in looking for one. I'm a firm believer in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and think that literally every single person who can do it, should do it, because if you dive in and really work with your therapist, you'll come out a better and happier person regardless of who you are or what kind of shit you're dealing with.



http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-therapy

http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/84292/70431/money-insurance/

http://www.medicaid.gov/medicaid-chip-program-information/by-topics/benefits/mental-health-services.html

https://www.nami.org/


Edited by pirate-blues (09/06/15 06:44 PM)


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: Shiithead]
    #22198309 - 09/06/15 05:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Shiithead said:
It's true. Everyone will also think it is their fault. That they should have done more. Including us. Don't do it for us though... Do it for you.




:whathesaid:

I support peoples right to commit suicide and I respect you for not letting it be an impulsive decision. However, suicide is an ABSOLUTE last resort. You only quit if truly nothing works. You don't quit just because it's easier than trying. This is your life, you have a family and people who care about you, you have things in this life that you care about. You owe it to them and to yourself to exhaust each and every option.

Try moving to a new place that appeals to you. Take up some hobby/interest/religion that has always appealed to you. If the drugs aren't helping you (and it sounds like they're not) then gtfo them. Instead try a strict regiment of a healthfreak diet with daily meditation, daily exercise and weekly or even daily therapy consultation. And for god's sake don't let the system trap you. Find what makes you happy, what really speaks to your soul, and DO IT. Fuck anything that stands in your way. You can get around it. I promise you.

No matter what you do man, don't you ever give up without trying. I guarentee you there's something out there that you haven't tried that will make life infinitely better for you.



I'm sending you good vibes and wishing you the very best of luck. :heart:


--------------------
          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


Edited by CookieCrumbs (09/06/15 05:19 PM)


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Offlinem4dScientist
Music Always Helps
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Registered: 08/04/14
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: CookieCrumbs] * 1
    #22199992 - 09/06/15 10:57 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

hey matt.

I know the feels bro. Im truly sorry that you have to experience this. 3 years ago I drove my car into a river running from the cops in an attempt to drown myself. I was done. if it had not been for a fireman that arrived at the scene n pulled me from the submerged car, I wouldn't be here today.

my point is, you don't have to live like this. Im not saying life is gonna be sunshine and rainbows 24/7, but you certainly don't have to go on with the desire to kill yourself on a daily basis. it starts first with putting the booze/drugs down. as someone whos also mentally ill, and has a severe drug and alcohol addiction, things never really improved for me until I stopped all drugs and alcohol, entirely. like somebody stated above, suicide is always an option. but why even consider it until you've exhausted each and every option? give yourself a chance man. put the booze n the drugs down, give your meds a chance to work. this shit takes time, and I know it seems impossible while youre sitting in it, but if you do the right thing each and everyday, your life is going to improve little by little.

life isn't fair dude. if it were, id be dead. but you have a shot to turn it all around. n its not going to happen overnight, but youre exactly where youre supposed to be right now. things will get better matt, I promise. you just gotta buckle down and give it your all.


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OfflineMushyMatt
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: poke smot!]
    #22204048 - 09/07/15 07:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

poke smot! said:
Quote:

MushyMatt said:
Quote:

thescientist said:
enough with the drugs already.

should be obvious.



Only drugs I do is what is prescribed for my mental illnesses.

On side note, this dose of klonopin is workinh. Sleep is imminent!




Quote:

MushyMatt said:
The time has come guys. Not now, but it will next year. I promised my daughter I'll take her to disneyworld for her 4th birthday, and after that, it is time to cross sides. I love you all, but its inevitable...




This all sounds like a cop out. I mean, modafinil, and klonopins? You have a drug problem.

Have you ever sincerely tried not taking drugs? Or maybe, just sticking with one, like lithium?



I've been on lithium for 6 months, but thanks for assuming you fuck.


--------------------
Reborn - 6/08/13


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: MushyMatt]
    #22204059 - 09/07/15 07:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Does that mean you don't have a  drug problem that though? :lol:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineMushyMatt
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #22204081 - 09/07/15 07:44 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I have an alcohol problem, I can admit that, but alcohol isn't a drug, it's a solution.


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Reborn - 6/08/13


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Posts: 13,851
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Re: Urgent, need help. [Re: MushyMatt]
    #22204108 - 09/07/15 07:51 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:justinwilson:

If you really feel that way I don't really wanna hear your bitchin then :shrug:

And this is coming from an alcoholic


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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