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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic
#21742433 - 05/30/15 07:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I need to get my shit together. My drinking has gotten out of control and its gotten to the point where its fucking up my mental health. I woke up this morning hungover as shit and so dizzy I could barely stand up. I made a cup of coffee and smoked a bowl and started to feel a little better, but I couldn't shake this feeling of just being off. I can't really explain it, but it felt like my mind wasn't even connected to my body. This was no normal hangover. I brushed it off and started filling out job applications like I do everyday. All of a sudden, my hands start to shake and i was overcome with this feeling of pure terror and impeding doom. My chest tightened up, I got light headed, and I was nauseous as shit. I knew it was just a panic attack so I didn't flip out and call the ambulance or anything like that, but I've never had one before and I know its a direct consequence of my drinking. I've probably knocked my GABA receptors so outta whack that I've probably done some kind of lasting damage that will take months to completely heal.
Last night, I killed half a handle of captain morgan and like half a bottle of jager by myself. I probably do this 4 nights a week. My tolerance is so high now that I can go to a bar, drink 10-12 drinks, drive home and not black out. It's only a matter of time until I get a DUI or some dumb shit like that. I don't really know how to go about any of this. AA doesn't really seem like my type of thing but I do know that If I don't stop I'm going to ruin my fucking life. I don't really know what I'm expecting you guys to tell me besides I'm an idiot but it just feels good to get this off my chest.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] 17
#21742438 - 05/30/15 08:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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hi malcom
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742442 - 05/30/15 08:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Did the terrible HTC phones drive you to drink? 
I hope you didn't take the personally. Now that I got that out of my system, I can say that you've already taken the first step, and accepted the fact that you have to do something about your habit. Good. Now take another small step, and make a change.
It's all about small, individual steps.
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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ikku
Stranger

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 677
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Salomon]
#21742449 - 05/30/15 08:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Are you sure it was a panic attack? Sounds like it might be delirium tremens. Alcohol withdrawal. It will get worse. My girlfriend's mom looks like a Parkinson's victim when she hasn't had a drink yet that day. She has to drink every day in order to not get the shakes.
Don't be afraid of trying rehab or a 12 step type group. It will feel kooky and weird at first. The number one thing I can recommend is to surround yourself with positive sober people who have overcome similar struggles. You can beat this.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] 1
#21742452 - 05/30/15 08:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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the shaking is most likely from alcohol withdrawl. you sweetie are an alcoholic.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Drumdude27] 1
#21742462 - 05/30/15 08:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Drumdude27 said: Did the terrible HTC phones drive you to drink? 
I hope you didn't take the personally. Now that I got that out of my system, I can say that you've already taken the first step, and accepted the fact that you have to do something about your habit. Good. Now take another small step, and make a change.
It's all about small, individual steps.
Haha nah it's all good. After going through all that shit today I don't even want to look at another drink for a long ass time. It'll just be hard to avoid the temptation of going out with my dudes and getting sloshed every weekend, especially being in college and shit.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
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Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Drumdude27] 1
#21742463 - 05/30/15 08:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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just put down the bottle... and talk to us instead of drinking
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: sprinkles] 2
#21742466 - 05/30/15 08:07 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hi Malcolm. Might I suggest restricting yourself to beer as a start?
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#21742472 - 05/30/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said: Hi Malcolm. Might I suggest restricting yourself to beer as a start?
Definitely this. Liquor was always my go to because it gets the job done way faster. Plus I don't like being all full and bloated from beer.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742474 - 05/30/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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*Insert comment about taking psychs to help kick your addiction here*
Now that that's out of the way, all I can say is that you should just post here whenever you're tempted. I'm sure a few of us can give you some words of encouragement to help when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yourself.
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742475 - 05/30/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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if you've been drinking that ammount every night you might even start with 3 beers... and try to get it down to 1 over the next month or two... but yeah...you know you gotta make changes and thats the hard part.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: ikku]
#21742477 - 05/30/15 08:11 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
ikku said: Are you sure it was a panic attack? Sounds like it might be delirium tremens. Alcohol withdrawal. It will get worse. My girlfriend's mom looks like a Parkinson's victim when she hasn't had a drink yet that day. She has to drink every day in order to not get the shakes.
Don't be afraid of trying rehab or a 12 step type group. It will feel kooky and weird at first. The number one thing I can recommend is to surround yourself with positive sober people who have overcome similar struggles. You can beat this.
I always thought DT was a result of like 10 years of constant drinking? This has probably been going on for about a year for me. Not entirely sure though
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742481 - 05/30/15 08:12 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Bruh...
I was joking... I didn't mean to cave in your entire life around you.
I'll mail you some benzo's so you can kick your habit mix them together for twice the fun.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742492 - 05/30/15 08:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Nah. You got the DTs.
--------------------
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742500 - 05/30/15 08:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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stratocast
Has Been



Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 345
Loc: ohio, U.S.
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Salomon]
#21742510 - 05/30/15 08:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: hi malcom
That's an AA joke. Haha. If you dont think aa will help, there are also something called smart meetings. Alcohol addiction is a real bitch. It will tell you that a drink sounds good as soon as the sickness goes away. You may wanna look into programs to get into. There are free ones out there.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742513 - 05/30/15 08:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said: Nah. You got the DTs.
Well fuck. Do i need to check myself in somewhere? I definitely feel a lot better as far as the anxiety goes. I could barely even drive home today without freaking the fuck out. I couldn't focus on anything or look at my computer/phone screen for extended periods of time. I've calmed down enough to the point where i don't feel like I'm gonna jump out of my skin anymore though.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742515 - 05/30/15 08:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychonautica said: Bruh...
I was joking... I didn't mean to cave in your entire life around you.
I'll mail you some benzo's so you can kick your habit mix them together for twice the fun.
You were right though
I gotta get my shit together. I have way too much to lose
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742523 - 05/30/15 08:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I feel like a dick now...
You are always drunk though.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742531 - 05/30/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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1) you dont need to check in anywhere unless you think you are going to drink if someone doesnt stop you.
2) drink water... it helps.
3) when reasonably hydrated...drink caffeine it helps
i drank a lot in highschool (half a lifetime ago). realized that drinking vodka every hour was useless and wasted tons of money. and i stopped cold turkey, it sucked, but it stopped sucking and was fine.
you dont need meetings (unless you need support)
you dont need to check yourself in places.
you just need to not drink
and talking helps. and talking yourself out of it is key.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742533 - 05/30/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:
zappaisgod said: Nah. You got the DTs.
Well fuck. Do i need to check myself in somewhere? I definitely feel a lot better as far as the anxiety goes. I could barely even drive home today without freaking the fuck out. I couldn't focus on anything or look at my computer/phone screen for extended periods of time. I've calmed down enough to the point where i don't feel like I'm gonna jump out of my skin anymore though.
I don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry. I usually can give advice but what you reported is way out of my league.
--------------------
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742535 - 05/30/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I don't wanna have some crazy ass seizure and die or some shit like that. I've just never really dealt with anything like this before.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742538 - 05/30/15 08:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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i didnt. and i dont think you will. that said, you should go to the er if you feel like you are in danger.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
Edited by rxb (05/30/15 08:26 PM)
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742541 - 05/30/15 08:26 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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If it makes you feel better I have a drug problem too. But my drug problem is worse than yours.
I'm dealing with my drug problem far far worse than you are. I just mix up my addiction and lie to myself about having an addiction.
You can't call me an addict if I never go into withdrawals. The only reason I won't go into withdrawals is because I change the drugs I use everyday.
I used to not be like this, but you know the reason behind my binge anyways.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

Edited by Psychonautica (05/30/15 08:38 PM)
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742547 - 05/30/15 08:28 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I guess what i'm reading on webMD is just freaking me out even more? It says a hospital stay is absolutely required. FUUUCK.
I really have no idea what to do.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742548 - 05/30/15 08:28 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I believe Rebellion is going through something similar. Maybe you could PM him?
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742553 - 05/30/15 08:29 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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You have an alcohol addiction. Whether you can maintain it within reasonable limits is an issue. Bill Burroughs maintained a heroin addiction by moderating his use. I can't help you, pal. I don't know you well enough.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] 1
#21742555 - 05/30/15 08:30 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said: I guess what i'm reading on webMD is just freaking me out even more? It says a hospital stay is absolutely required. FUUUCK.
I really have no idea what to do.
First step: Get the fuck off Web MD
You'll think that you'll die from having a sniffle if you stay on that website.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742556 - 05/30/15 08:30 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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hospital stay isnt necessary and water helps a LOT with the shakes drink 8 oz an hour.
it not GOING to feel good but it can feel BETTER .. subsitute a sports drink for water occasionally.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742561 - 05/30/15 08:32 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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As much as my benzo comment was a joke, benzo's will actually help with the withdrawal symptoms of alcohol withdrawal.
Pretty sure they give people WDing from booze benzo's in the hospital.
But you'd have to be careful because benzo's cause insane amounts of "Fuckit" To be released into your system, more so than weed does.
So you might take the benz to help the WD's and then the "fuckit" hits and you're drinking and popping bars like no ones business.
But I remember you saying that even taking like half a bar knocks you out so maybe that's not an option
Also I edited my post earlier a bit, I didn't mean to say my addiction was worse, I meant to say that I'm dealing with my addiction far worse than you are.
Zappa cleared things up and pointed out what a piece of shit I sounded like.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

Edited by Psychonautica (05/30/15 08:39 PM)
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742598 - 05/30/15 08:40 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yeah I don't really wanna fuck around with benzos again. I was ordering a fuck ton of etiz at one point and that got out of control so fast I didn't even know what hit me. I guess I'm gonna keep drinking water and tough it up. I probably won't sleep well tonight, and I only got like 5 hours of sleep last night. FUCK.
I'm at my parents house now though. So if anything goes down I'll be okay I think
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742606 - 05/30/15 08:41 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's so true, when benzo's get out of control, they get out of control so fucking fast it's insane.
One minute you're taking them to sleep,
and then you're blacking out for weeks at a time.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742620 - 05/30/15 08:44 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That sounds terrifying. I'd rather just deal with a WD than risk that
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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kakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances


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Loc: STRAYA
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica] 2
#21742621 - 05/30/15 08:44 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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why are you driving drunk? what did all the other innocent road users do that makes you put them at risk?
-------------------- You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven. -Bernard Black
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: kakashi68]
#21742626 - 05/30/15 08:45 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm not proud of that shit man. To be fair though, the bar is literally 10 minutes from my apartment. Still no excuse though.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Drumdude27]
#21742630 - 05/30/15 08:46 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Drumdude27 said: That sounds terrifying. I'd rather just deal with a WD than risk that
I think the reason benzo's are so fucking scary is because they're so innocent.
They're not intense, and you're never "fucked up" off them until it's too late.
You're mildly relaxed so you think, okay one more, now you're even more mildly relaxed, but still nothing spectacular, so you take one more, same thing, slightly more relaxed.
Then you take one more and now you're completely blacked out making a god damn fool of yourself in public. (usually)
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742647 - 05/30/15 08:51 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm glad I have too much fear to start to play with fire like that. Others are not as lucky, unfortunately.
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Drumdude27]
#21742653 - 05/30/15 08:53 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've learned my lesson with them to the point where I trust myself. I can tell when that one pill will push me over the edge and when it won't.
Most of the time.
We all have our horror stories.
Mine main problem is once I black out, you can bet your sweet ass the doses aren't going to stop anytime soon.
Once I black out, I'll stay blacked out for weeks at a time just because I'll keep redosing and won't be sober enough to realize it's a horrible idea.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
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Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742665 - 05/30/15 08:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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And you people work and drive like that??
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Drumdude27] 2
#21742678 - 05/30/15 08:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Listen, We're not on this forum for making good decisions.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742681 - 05/30/15 09:00 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm not here to crucify anyone. I'm more shocked than anything. I do feel strongly about driving under the influence though.
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742684 - 05/30/15 09:00 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Thats my curse when it comes to alcohol. Up until I black out im fine but once the lights go out the stop switch shorts out with it. Ive lost a few friends and trashed one relationship that way. Im not a pleasant guy to be around when Im absolutely plastered.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#21742687 - 05/30/15 09:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I really really try not to drive fucked up, but once I'm blacked out already anything is game.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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rxb
n00b-sabot



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Posts: 9,522
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica] 1
#21742697 - 05/30/15 09:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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i think shrooms and dmt are two of the best decisions anyone can make.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica] 2
#21742702 - 05/30/15 09:05 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Sorry to hear, OP... Awaiting JFT to come in and introduce you to Bill W. 
When I kicked benzo wd a long time ago and I had the heevie jeevies I found that rubbing one out really took the edge off
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica] 1
#21742705 - 05/30/15 09:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychonautica said: I really really try not to drive fucked up, but once I'm blacked out already anything is game.
Don't listen to the AA NA bullshit. You have complete control over your addiction.
The best way to conquer it is just to stop and stop admit that you have power over your addiction. Stop making excuses. Do the exact opposite of what AA recommends and you will be fine.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: shLong]
#21742706 - 05/30/15 09:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742710 - 05/30/15 09:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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oops the nod was for shlong... but yeah i dunno about the opposite of AA because they say to quit drinking and talk
but... i dont think you are powerless. i think that keeps them selling books.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21742713 - 05/30/15 09:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb] 1
#21742720 - 05/30/15 09:10 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
rxb said: oops the nod was for shlong... but yeah i dunno about the opposite of AA because they say to quit drinking and talk
but... i dont think you are powerless. i think that keeps them selling books.
If you believe you are powerless over your addiction it is so much easier to just start using again and say you have no control. Just like how in rehab they teach the addicts that stealing is part of being an addict and they have no control over it. Totally not true.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21742731 - 05/30/15 09:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I have complete control of the addiction. But I don't have control over what I do when I black out.
You think people choose to mop their ceilings on ambien and make thanksgiving dinner at 3 am in July?
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus] 1
#21742735 - 05/30/15 09:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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yeah the only thing i disagreed with was doing opposite of AA ... stop drinking start talking = good idea, taper off is also a workable solution
the powerless thing is enabling... and helps them keep you as a life long customer
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: shLong]
#21742739 - 05/30/15 09:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
shLong said: Sorry to hear, OP... Awaiting JFT to come in and introduce you to Bill W. 
When I kicked benzo wd a long time ago and I had the heevie jeevies I found that rubbing one out really took the edge off 
He has me on ignore so I don't think that's gonna happen
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb] 1
#21742754 - 05/30/15 09:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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i'm in a similar boat. not sure if i can really help, considering i can't stop drinking either though.
my family basically forced me to stick to beer, or be kicked out of the house. it ended up being a good way to limit myself. i can only drink so much beer. maybe 20 cans a day is tops for me, cause its so bloaty. generally though, i only have about 15, and that isn't enough to get me quite drunk. its more of a 'feeling normal' thing now
Edited by Adolin (05/30/15 09:18 PM)
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Adolin]
#21742759 - 05/30/15 09:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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so gresh... why not limit yourself to 12 for a week.
and then 10 next week.
etc.
unless you just dont want to stop.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742765 - 05/30/15 09:19 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
rxb said: i think shrooms and dmt are two of the best decisions anyone can make.

I do like my beer but my cakes are pinning second flush even better than the first flush. I realize most of you don't think conservatives trip but, well, guess what, you're wrong.
The little babies are so cute. I almost don't want them to grow up
--------------------
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742778 - 05/30/15 09:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
rxb said: so gresh... why not limit yourself to 12 for a week.
and then 10 next week.
etc.
unless you just dont want to stop.
that last line there, pretty much sums me up atm.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742782 - 05/30/15 09:22 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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arguably, being for big business.
and not caring about the environment.
is not a way to conserve anything.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742786 - 05/30/15 09:22 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
rxb said: so gresh... why not limit yourself to 12 for a week.
and then 10 next week.
etc.
unless you just dont want to stop.
Ummmmm that's what he drinks a day, not a week.
--------------------
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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742788 - 05/30/15 09:22 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Not to derail this thread further, but I never thought I'd see Zappa use the word cute, especially in a genuine way that doesn't involve sarcasm Love you Zappa
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Adolin]
#21742799 - 05/30/15 09:24 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gresh said:
Quote:
rxb said: so gresh... why not limit yourself to 12 for a week.
and then 10 next week.
etc.
unless you just dont want to stop.
that last line there, pretty much sums me up atm.
and that admission may help both of you.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742803 - 05/30/15 09:26 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
rxb said: so gresh... why not limit yourself to 12 for a week.
and then 10 next week.
etc.
unless you just dont want to stop.
Ummmmm that's what he drinks a day, not a week.
to clearify for the neo-cons who cant think without a fox news memo.

that would be 12 a day for a week...
then 10 a day for a week..
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742811 - 05/30/15 09:28 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
rxb said: arguably, being for big business.
and not caring about the environment.
is not a way to conserve anything.
Whu happened and what the fuck are you talking about?
Gaia, the ultimate MILF. What size is the threshold for being "big" vis a vis a business?
Do you really wanna do this with me? Because I am not a nice guy on this kind of stuff. I can be a fluffy bunny snuggle pants on other things but politics and economics is not included
--------------------
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742813 - 05/30/15 09:29 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
rxb said: arguably, being for big business.
and not caring about the environment.
is not a way to conserve anything.
Whu happened and what the fuck are you talking about?
Gaia, the ultimate MILF. What size is the threshold for being "big" vis a vis a business?
Do you really wanna do this with me? Because I am not a nice guy on this kind of stuff. I can be a fluffy bunny snuggle pants on other things but politics and economics is not included
Lets not do that in this thread, You're going to drive ME to drinking and I'm not the one with that problem.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742817 - 05/30/15 09:29 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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we can do it... but not here. because the neo-cons, arent conservative ... all hat and no cows.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#21742824 - 05/30/15 09:31 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
rxb said: arguably, being for big business.
and not caring about the environment.
is not a way to conserve anything.
Whu happened and what the fuck are you talking about?
Gaia, the ultimate MILF. What size is the threshold for being "big" vis a vis a business?
Do you really wanna do this with me? Because I am not a nice guy on this kind of stuff. I can be a fluffy bunny snuggle pants on other things but politics and economics is not included
I really think they should gut corporate welfare, like scorched earth none of you are getting a fucking penny anymore style gutting.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742829 - 05/30/15 09:32 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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they "hospitialize" you because alcohol withdrawl and benzo withdrawl kills. Its no joke. People die from this disease every day. My suggestion is to go into inpatient, if you cant do that enroll yourself in an outpatient program (IOP). If you are unwilling to do that, then try AA. Or if you want you can do nothing.
The reason you binge or whatever you were asking is because you have a genetic disease. It is a brain disease. Some people are born with a useless pancreas (diabetes type 1). We're born with a defective organ too. Our brain. Doh!
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742832 - 05/30/15 09:33 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
rxb said: we can do it... but not here. because the neo-cons, arent conservative ... all hat and no cows.
That's pretty funny. We can play in some other thread.
--------------------
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bodhi of Ankou] 1
#21742834 - 05/30/15 09:34 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said:
Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
rxb said: arguably, being for big business.
and not caring about the environment.
is not a way to conserve anything.
Whu happened and what the fuck are you talking about?
Gaia, the ultimate MILF. What size is the threshold for being "big" vis a vis a business?
Do you really wanna do this with me? Because I am not a nice guy on this kind of stuff. I can be a fluffy bunny snuggle pants on other things but politics and economics is not included
I really think they should gut corporate welfare, like scorched earth none of you are getting a fucking penny anymore style gutting.
I agree.
--------------------
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: sprinkles]
#21742853 - 05/30/15 09:39 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: they "hospitialize" you because alcohol withdrawl and benzo withdrawl kills. Its no joke. People die from this disease every day. My suggestion is to go into inpatient, if you cant do that enroll yourself in an outpatient program (IOP). If you are unwilling to do that, then try AA. Or if you want you can do nothing.
The reason you binge or whatever you were asking is because you have a genetic disease. It is a brain disease. Some people are born with a useless pancreas (diabetes type 1). We're born with a defective organ too. Our brain. Doh!
Your brain might be defective but mine isn't. And diabetes isn't really the pancreas. It is the Islets of Langerhans which just hang out there
--------------------
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Blazeyy
Psychonaut



Registered: 08/25/14
Posts: 1,663
Loc: Land of the Phrygian Hats
Last seen: 6 days, 7 hours
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742891 - 05/30/15 09:48 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said: I need to get my shit together. My drinking has gotten out of control and its gotten to the point where its fucking up my mental health. I woke up this morning hungover as shit and so dizzy I could barely stand up. I made a cup of coffee and smoked a bowl and started to feel a little better, but I couldn't shake this feeling of just being off. I can't really explain it, but it felt like my mind wasn't even connected to my body. This was no normal hangover. I brushed it off and started filling out job applications like I do everyday. All of a sudden, my hands start to shake and i was overcome with this feeling of pure terror and impeding doom. My chest tightened up, I got light headed, and I was nauseous as shit. I knew it was just a panic attack so I didn't flip out and call the ambulance or anything like that, but I've never had one before and I know its a direct consequence of my drinking. I've probably knocked my GABA receptors so outta whack that I've probably done some kind of lasting damage that will take months to completely heal.
It's de-realisation/depersonalisation and yes alcohol caused it, i have it daily, like every single day :/ sativas now make me anxious due to it. I'll spend like 3 hours turning off movies and turning on different ones cause i panic for no reason, imo alcohol should be made illegal
-------------------- I give you the choice of 2 pills.
With each containing one of the following: Cyanide... Psilocin... Would you take the risk? Didn't think so. This is why Positive Identification prior to consumption is important.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742911 - 05/30/15 09:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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i am defective, that is for sure.
You're in denial about being defective. I'm just more honest and self-aware than you are. Also I am very old and very wise.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: sprinkles]
#21742918 - 05/30/15 09:56 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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also, a quitter and an ice cream topping.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb] 1
#21742966 - 05/30/15 10:07 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Im gonna try and get some sleep. And whoever bought me a supporter account, I appreciate it.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Green Meat

Registered: 05/27/15
Posts: 24
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21742969 - 05/30/15 10:09 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good luck Malcolm. Like rxb said, admitting you have a problem is a huge first step.
--------------------
"They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear..." - Walter Sobchak Stupidity Should Hurt
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,059
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 53 minutes
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21743061 - 05/30/15 10:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
rxb said: also, a quitter and an ice cream topping.
And a sign of urinary incontinence.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21743127 - 05/30/15 11:20 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I putdown about 7 months of almost daily etizolam use it can be done
for one dude id ween off with beer for about a week to minimize wd
then stop drinking and working out im serious to bo
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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EDM
Stranger


Registered: 10/04/12
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: SunnyD]
#21743153 - 05/30/15 11:28 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Come up with a hobby.
Come up with something that every time you think of drinking, you repeat a certain sentence or you plan something (like hiking)
get seriously involved in some video/computer games.
Your actions on this website show that you are admitting a problem and you want to fix it.
Occupy yourself somehow.
Find a support group? Here is a good start.
-------------------- Yahweh is lying to you... I will show you the way. Trust me.
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OsculateOfDemise



Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 2,879
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: EDM]
#21743207 - 05/30/15 11:44 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Congrats on being aware of your situation and willing to change it. Not a everyone can recognize that until it's too late. Good luck on your recovery and know you always have us here to get you through it. I have heard kratom works wonders for alcoholism if you find yourself slipping but be also aware that some people replace one addiction with another that way. But I think it's a great plant. Day at a time.
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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: EDM] 1
#21743217 - 05/30/15 11:46 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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We need to start a recovery thread or forum, it seems like there's a lot of shroomerites trying to kick something lately
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21743229 - 05/30/15 11:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've slipped into it too - albeit to a lesser extent. nonetheless, I've decided I'm taking a month off of booze and drugs.
My mind needs the rest. My body needs the rest. I haven't been thinking long game enough lately.
Why not take a month off? Its very possible, just takes willpower.
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: ModestMouse]
#21743235 - 05/30/15 11:51 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
ModestMouse said: Why not take a month off? Its very possible, just takes willpower.
withdrawls are a real bitch. you have first hand experience with that too, unless im mixing you up with a different ODD poster
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: sprinkles] 1
#21743244 - 05/30/15 11:53 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: they "hospitialize" you because alcohol withdrawl and benzo withdrawl kills. Its no joke. People die from this disease every day. My suggestion is to go into inpatient, if you cant do that enroll yourself in an outpatient program (IOP). If you are unwilling to do that, then try AA. Or if you want you can do nothing.
The reason you binge or whatever you were asking is because you have a genetic disease. It is a brain disease. Some people are born with a useless pancreas (diabetes type 1). We're born with a defective organ too. Our brain. Doh!
Addiction is not a disease. It's a behavior that you choose to start by doing the drug in the first place.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21743284 - 05/31/15 12:02 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bitter Cactus said:
Quote:
sprinkles said: they "hospitialize" you because alcohol withdrawl and benzo withdrawl kills. Its no joke. People die from this disease every day. My suggestion is to go into inpatient, if you cant do that enroll yourself in an outpatient program (IOP). If you are unwilling to do that, then try AA. Or if you want you can do nothing.
The reason you binge or whatever you were asking is because you have a genetic disease. It is a brain disease. Some people are born with a useless pancreas (diabetes type 1). We're born with a defective organ too. Our brain. Doh!
Addiction is not a disease. It's a behavior that you choose to start by doing the drug in the first place.
Are you a doctor? Because it's a consensus in the medical community that addiction is a disease. Do you also believe the earth is flat?
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Supachopped719] 1
#21743299 - 05/31/15 12:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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And the consensus within the medical community is also that children don't deserve imaginations and should have it stifled by amphetamines.
Just because it's the "medical consensus" doesn't make it true
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21743312 - 05/31/15 12:11 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychonautica said: And the consensus within the medical community is also that children don't deserve imaginations and should have it stifled by amphetamines.
Just because it's the "medical consensus" doesn't make it true
Link? Or is this your opinion?
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21743323 - 05/31/15 12:16 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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ok. you know better than I do.
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21743369 - 05/31/15 12:34 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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When you get the shakes does your vision get like someone is choking you out? Like all bright with sparklers in you peripheral? If this happens and you start hallucinating colorful humming birds out of the corner of your eyes it might be a grand mal seizure coming on. And after a really bad one you may get locked up with a sippy cup strapped to the helmet you'll be sporting for the rest of your life, Half a handle on a daily basis is some major league drinking.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743388 - 05/31/15 12:41 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's complete bullshit about the sippy cup thing. Also the humming bird thing is bullshit too. You can feel seizures coming sometimes, but not everytime and everyone experiences it differently. Sometimes I taste metal. Sometimes my legs get shakey.
I have epilepsy. Grand Mal are the only seizures I have too.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21743396 - 05/31/15 12:44 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Have you ever had a grand mal from drinking? Half a handle and then some a day?
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743400 - 05/31/15 12:45 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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A grand Mal is a grand Mal. You're not going to turn retarded from having a seizure unless you hit your head when you do the crappie flop..
I take it you have?
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

Edited by Psychonautica (05/31/15 12:54 AM)
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743425 - 05/31/15 12:56 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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If your seizure is long enough it ca fuck your brain up. I have met people who were not right in the head afterwards and many who have lost their driving privlidges.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21743429 - 05/31/15 12:58 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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seizures can absolutely cause permanent damage by themselves.
you dont have to hit your head, or asphyxiate, to sustain brain damage from a seizure.
plenty of people have had one seizure, and become aphasic/catatonic permanently.
i'll give it to you that its mostly 'old' people, but despite not having a stroke or 'physical damage'(dead brain mass), they can basically be rewired by a seizure and become a vegetable
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743440 - 05/31/15 01:00 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's not true. They take every epileptics driving privileges. It's not because of brain damage at all. It's so you don't have a seizure while driving.
As for a seizure causing brain damage, how come my entire life as an epileptic, no doctor has ever told me that? In fact, I've been told the exact opposite, actually.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21743441 - 05/31/15 01:00 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Malcolm has a problem and all we can do is attack each other... I love the pub.
But seriously try an aa meeting, it's free and can't hurt. If your not religious just ignore that shit they say, and just listen to people that have been where you were and what they do to not drink.
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743447 - 05/31/15 01:02 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I was in ICU for 2 nights after my first seizure hooked up to some machine with a million electrodes stuck to my head. I don't know if the alcohol effects differ from an epileptic seizure. The two I had were from alcohol withdrawal and I'm not epileptic.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743452 - 05/31/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's normal for your first seizures. They have to monitor your brain activity. I was in a hospital for a week after my first seizure. They are just making sure there's nothing wrong with your brain, because seizures are usually caused by brain damage or brain tumors.
You were in the ICU for the alcohol withdrawals, not the seizures.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743460 - 05/31/15 01:07 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Addiction is a choice and sobriety is a choice.
Addiction is not a disease.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743461 - 05/31/15 01:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Either way, drinking half a handle of booze and having the same symptoms I had when I had my seizures is enough to not throw caution to the wind. No need to downplay any seizure because it by no means a positive thing under any circumstances.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21743466 - 05/31/15 01:09 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychonautica said:
As for a seizure causing brain damage, how come my entire life as an epileptic, no doctor has ever told me that? In fact, I've been told the exact opposite, actually.
its completely true that most epileptics aren't going to get any sort of serious brain damage from their seizures, as long as they are managed and someone is around to help when they happen
the problem is that some people get their first seizure in their 40's, 50's, or 60s, and when it happens that late, the likelyhood of them being 'disabled' by it is very high. they are also alot more likely to be induced seizures, by drug withdrawl
i'm too lazy to find sources, but from what i know, people who are older when they suffer their first seizures have a terribly worse prognosis, even if they dont have a stroke.
probably has something to do with overheating and erroneous neural connections made during the seizure
Edited by Adolin (05/31/15 01:16 AM)
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743471 - 05/31/15 01:13 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That's true. I guess I just took it a little personally. My only real issue was the humming bird thing. Most of my seizures don't come on with visuals, so I wouldn't want Malcom to think he's okay as long as he doesn't get weird tunnel vision hallucinations.
The most common thing I experience pre seizure is the taste of metal. It's actually more than that though. It's almost a sixth sense of feeling it come on. Like you just have this voice in your head that clicks and says "Im going to have a seizure" for no reason what's so ever.
Misinformation about epilepsy really bothers me though. In high-school I caught I lot of shit for the brain damage thing. I've had seizures so therefore I was retarded and all this other shit people liked to say. So I guess it just hit close to home, my bad.
The most damage I've done to myself is busting my face open on floors.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743475 - 05/31/15 01:14 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Forget about the seizure talk Malclom. They're no big deal. Don't worry about a thing and keep doing what you're doing. All seizures are totally harmless.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21743476 - 05/31/15 01:14 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Those seizures are like a game of russian roulette though. One day it could cause bad brain damage.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21743479 - 05/31/15 01:16 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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What do you mean, manage them Gresh? There's no managing a seizure. The choke on your tongue thing is a myth. The only thing you're supposed to do if you witness someone having a seizure is clear an area around them, and roll them on their sides so their airway can't get obstructed by vomit, or anything like that.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743484 - 05/31/15 01:18 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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So what's the line on how much of a handle Malcolm has polished off yet?
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743487 - 05/31/15 01:20 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychonautica said: What do you mean, manage them Gresh? There's no managing a seizure.
when i said manage, i was mainly talking about medicine that reduces the frequency/severity of the seizures
Quote:
Psychonautica said: The choke on your tongue thing is a myth. The only thing you're supposed to do if you witness someone having a seizure is clear an area around them, and roll them on their sides so their airway can't get obstructed by vomit, or anything like that.
and like you said here, there might not be much you can do when someone is seizing, but you can do something at least, to keep them from choking on puke, or whatever else
Quote:
Astral Pain said: Forget about the seizure talk Malclom.
i agree with that. i wouldnt worry about seizures too much op. i think some of us(me) got a little sidetracked
Edited by Adolin (05/31/15 01:20 AM)
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21743488 - 05/31/15 01:20 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychonautica said: That's true. I guess I just took it a little personally. My only real issue was the humming bird thing. Most of my seizures don't come on with visuals, so I wouldn't want Malcom to think he's okay as long as he doesn't get weird tunnel vision hallucinations.
The most common thing I experience pre seizure is the taste of metal. It's actually more than that though. It's almost a sixth sense of feeling it come on. Like you just have this voice in your head that clicks and says "Im going to have a seizure" for no reason what's so ever.
Misinformation about epilepsy really bothers me though. In high-school I caught I lot of shit for the brain damage thing. I've had seizures so therefore I was retarded and all this other shit people liked to say. So I guess it just hit close to home, my bad.
The most damage I've done to myself is busting my face open on floors.
The humming bird was something that happened to me after I was feeling the exact way he was describing in the op. I was merely comparing notes, and the sippy cup was for comedic effect. Not really funny in reality, but you getmy point?
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743496 - 05/31/15 01:24 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I really need to start smoking weed again. It be a lot cooler that way
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain] 1
#21743501 - 05/31/15 01:27 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Weed sucks mate. I haven't smoked up in a YEAR, which I find insane.
I actually fear the high. I fear one small toke of weed more then I would fear doing a quarter gram blast of meth with no tolerance right now.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21743506 - 05/31/15 01:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21743513 - 05/31/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I don't and never have smoked a lot. All I need is one or two hits of some killed indica. Turns my muscles into butter.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21743522 - 05/31/15 01:34 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Klonopin does a good job, but that shit hangs on for far too long.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Astral Pain]
#21744156 - 05/31/15 08:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Astral Pain said: When you get the shakes does your vision get like someone is choking you out? Like all bright with sparklers in you peripheral? If this happens and you start hallucinating colorful humming birds out of the corner of your eyes it might be a grand mal seizure coming on. And after a really bad one you may get locked up with a sippy cup strapped to the helmet you'll be sporting for the rest of your life, Half a handle on a daily basis is some major league drinking.
Thanks for the helpful info man
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21744159 - 05/31/15 08:34 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Im feeling a lot better today guys and I actually got some really good sleep last night which I wasn't expecting at all. Im gonna keep monitoring myself and keep you guys updated
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: sprinkles]
#21744187 - 05/31/15 08:50 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: i am defective, that is for sure.
You're in denial about being defective. I'm just more honest and self-aware than you are. Also I am very old and very wise.
I am much older and much wiser
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21744316 - 05/31/15 10:11 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychonautica said:

No, the prospect of doing a big shot would excite me. I get an anxiety attack even smelling a nug.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.


Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Bitter Cactus]
#21744346 - 05/31/15 10:28 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Get help if you can't lick this OP. Fuck man, what could it hurt?
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Salomon]
#21744657 - 05/31/15 12:27 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: hi malcom
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21744680 - 05/31/15 12:35 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said: Im feeling a lot better today guys and I actually got some really good sleep last night which I wasn't expecting at all. Im gonna keep monitoring myself and keep you guys updated
As I sit here drinking this beer...Ive been hospitalized twice from complications associated with alc detox.. its in your best interest to break the cycle early..this shit is fucking evil with a sly smile.. just walk away while you still can. Real talk.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21744686 - 05/31/15 12:39 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've done some fucking drugs son!! And I'll tell you this, on par with benzo blackouts, this alcohol is the most lethal shit you'll come across..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Amanita86]
#21744697 - 05/31/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yeah man I haven't even experienced the worst of it and im fucking miserable. This was my wake up call. Im gonna get my shit together
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Amanita86]
#21744703 - 05/31/15 12:45 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I was addicted to adderall, and ritalin in large doses. In addition I drank tons of caffiene and had tons of nicotine for a few years. I was tweaked off my ass for hours a day. And when I cudnt get more, I felt burnt out. Luckily, I got my shit together. Here are some tips
So I am going to give you a few pointers. Hopefully the help. They come from a place of care and experience: 1) stop drinking. Quite obviously 2) Start taking nootropics. If you need to know more, message me. But these will help your brain recover. I can give you sources to get lots of them cheap. And they are 100% legal 3) Take glutathione. You brain will most likely be deficient in it. It is depleted everytime that you drink 4) mediate. Once I was clean and sober, this helped me experience profound joy and kept me clean The other suggestions are things that worked for my alcoholic friend: 1) take GHB or Eitzloam. Message me if you need to discuss how to aquicre them 2) stop hanging out with those who drink 3) smoke weed excessivly if you need to. Just avoid alc
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21744707 - 05/31/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Do it man. That shit will get its hooks into you and...I mean I could write books on the consequences that I attribute to just being liquored up...and Ive gotten off easy when you compare it to people who have decided to do things like drive on a liquored up whim and kill someone, or themselves.. the shit gets you when youre not looking, its sneaky like that..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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cube talk
Stranger

Registered: 10/11/07
Posts: 1,223
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Drumdude27]
#21745050 - 05/31/15 02:41 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Drumdude27 said: That sounds terrifying. I'd rather just deal with a WD than risk that
yah
till you're in a withdrawal
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cube talk
Stranger

Registered: 10/11/07
Posts: 1,223
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: cube talk]
#21745063 - 05/31/15 02:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I only drink now to help with pain, so at this point it's not helping with that, so i'm quitting
good riddance really, alcohol is evil
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: topdog82]
#21745136 - 05/31/15 03:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I love the dramatic irony of life when a bunch of actively drug using addicts say the program doesn't work. I guess that's why millions have stayed sober until death through AA. Actually a guy that was in a local charter who ran some meetings just died of cancer and he went out with 34 years sober. He was a good man. 
I actually just happened to find this thread because I was looking at a certain users previous post. Then I seen who started it.
I guess that explains the behavior issues and why things escalated. Now I have empathy.
Listen bro. I picked up one white chip. And I have 14 months in a week. But, it wasn't easy. I detoxed off of xanax for 10 months. Not physically. Physically it was rough. Seizures, going into a coma almost, full blown visual and auditory hallucinations. This is what made me realize I had a problem. Many people take different levels of pain. Sometime living homeless shooting up in the worst part of town isn't enough. Sometimes enough ISN'T enough. People die from the disease of addiction. But. You should count yourself blessed that you're realizing something is not right. Many will continue to live in misery until the day that they die.
Alcohol can kill you detoxing off of. I would suggest if it gets bad enough check yourself into a detox and possible go to treatment. It was the best decision I ever made in my life man.
Forget all the shit that happened between us. I apologize. If you need someone to talk to, send me a PM.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: JustForToday]
#21745203 - 05/31/15 03:31 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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My cases are pinning like crazy second flush.
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lets drive around
That kid with a stupid low Jetta



Registered: 07/25/13
Posts: 1,060
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21745974 - 05/31/15 07:33 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Oh the good ol alcohol withdrawals. I'm 26 and I'm sad to say I know what you're going through all to well as I've experienced it a handful of times.
First 3 - 4 days sober will suck ass physically if yo go cold turkey with no benzos.
After a week you'll start feeling great physically, but then the little voice in yore head will return with a vengeance, and that, the mental part of staying sober is THE hardest part imhe.
I wish you luck Malcolm
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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alcohol is the worst drug there is.
its worse than flakka
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21746964 - 06/01/15 12:29 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hella worse than flakka, the govt doesnt pump flakka...
You see?
--------------------
Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Amanita86]
#21747087 - 06/01/15 01:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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"Fella's......it doesn't get any better than this." I think that was Old Milwaukee if I remember correctly.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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RobZombie68
The Shaman's Apprentice


Registered: 06/22/14
Posts: 820
Loc: Palookaville, US
Last seen: 30 days, 6 hours
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21750183 - 06/01/15 08:02 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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That feeling will keep happening every time you party real hard, not so much with just a good light drunk. It's anxiety, you want to take herbs and vitamins that support your nervous system, I take B-complex, Potassium, Calcium, magnesium, zinc. I started taking Valerian root and that completely knocked it away.
When I have a heavy two day bender, I will lose motor function in my hands, I can't type, shake uncontrollably, etc. But as stated, the Valerian knocked this out...
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: RobZombie68]
#21750390 - 06/01/15 08:47 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Thanks for the tip man ill check out the valarian root for sure
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Gorlax



Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,695
Last seen: 16 days, 18 hours
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21750404 - 06/01/15 08:51 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I used valerian for a lot of GABA detoxing. The dreams are seriously fucking insane with it. I've been in full blown inception mode in my most recent valerian sleeps.
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Astral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Gorlax]
#21750426 - 06/01/15 08:57 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I use valerian all the time. It's only $4 at Walmart for 100 caps. I usually open up the caps and make some....tea? I don't know what the hell you would call it since the shit smells like rancid foot rot. I used it successfully when coming off of muscle relaxers and it was a life saver. Throw some melatonin in there and you'll sleep like a baby.
-------------------- "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out" -Bill Hicks-
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shallowbastard
the friendly puppet


Registered: 01/15/09
Posts: 1,539
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21750968 - 06/01/15 11:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hey Malcolm, shallowbastard, another alcoholic here. I have my shit together for now, but I'm guessing its just a matter of time before shit goes wrong.
Sometimes a good mushroom trip will kick your ass and put things into perspective, that's how I realized I was disrespecting my body a few years ago.
Not that more drugs is the answer, but definitely easy up on the hard liq and stick to wine and beer. Probably wanna easy up on the other drugs too
Take care
--------------------
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: shallowbastard]
#21751518 - 06/02/15 05:48 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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people use dmt to kick alcohol. and heroin.
you meditate on wanting to be free of the addiction before you smoke, and then you smoke to threshold. then when you come down you meditate and reflect on the knowledge you were given.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21751652 - 06/02/15 07:41 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I just want my head to stop ringing and the anxiety to go away. I still have depersonalization like crazy. Everything just feels like im in a dream
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21751660 - 06/02/15 07:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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thats rough. the Valerian root isnt a bad thing to try.
you should look into the stuff with DMT and breaking addiction, its quite interesting.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21751661 - 06/02/15 07:44 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Its hard for me to get any dmt but I do have a fuck ton of mushrooms
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21751671 - 06/02/15 07:47 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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not sure. i wouldnt want to suggest anyone do what i think it would take with mushies if i had not tried it myself first.
i dont think the come up is fast enough.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: rxb]
#21751678 - 06/02/15 07:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hahaha well my girlfriend grew these and last time we took like 3 grams each and had our minds blown through the solar system. But honestly, more drugs isn't really what I need right now, especially since I haven't been sleeping well. I can't see mushrooms and dmt doing anything but making my depersonalization worse at this moment in time. Maybe when I start feeling like myself again I'll give it a shot
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 47 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] 1
#21751711 - 06/02/15 08:05 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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well, dmt is different, i dont think mushies is what you need right now.
the dmt thing is simply using it to tell the universe you need help, and it seems to work with alcohol and heroin
here is an article
http://www.stuartwilde.com/2012/08/the-simple-dmt-cure-for-drug-addiction-and-depression/
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21753801 - 06/02/15 05:24 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Listen to your body, it knows what it needs man.
we're all here for ya, and I'm glad to hear you're seeing something isn't right while you still have plenty of time to straighten out.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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