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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic
#21742433 - 05/30/15 07:59 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I need to get my shit together. My drinking has gotten out of control and its gotten to the point where its fucking up my mental health. I woke up this morning hungover as shit and so dizzy I could barely stand up. I made a cup of coffee and smoked a bowl and started to feel a little better, but I couldn't shake this feeling of just being off. I can't really explain it, but it felt like my mind wasn't even connected to my body. This was no normal hangover. I brushed it off and started filling out job applications like I do everyday. All of a sudden, my hands start to shake and i was overcome with this feeling of pure terror and impeding doom. My chest tightened up, I got light headed, and I was nauseous as shit. I knew it was just a panic attack so I didn't flip out and call the ambulance or anything like that, but I've never had one before and I know its a direct consequence of my drinking. I've probably knocked my GABA receptors so outta whack that I've probably done some kind of lasting damage that will take months to completely heal.
Last night, I killed half a handle of captain morgan and like half a bottle of jager by myself. I probably do this 4 nights a week. My tolerance is so high now that I can go to a bar, drink 10-12 drinks, drive home and not black out. It's only a matter of time until I get a DUI or some dumb shit like that. I don't really know how to go about any of this. AA doesn't really seem like my type of thing but I do know that If I don't stop I'm going to ruin my fucking life. I don't really know what I'm expecting you guys to tell me besides I'm an idiot but it just feels good to get this off my chest.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] 17
#21742438 - 05/30/15 08:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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hi malcom
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742442 - 05/30/15 08:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Did the terrible HTC phones drive you to drink? 
I hope you didn't take the personally. Now that I got that out of my system, I can say that you've already taken the first step, and accepted the fact that you have to do something about your habit. Good. Now take another small step, and make a change.
It's all about small, individual steps.
--------------------
Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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ikku
Stranger

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 677
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Salomon]
#21742449 - 05/30/15 08:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Are you sure it was a panic attack? Sounds like it might be delirium tremens. Alcohol withdrawal. It will get worse. My girlfriend's mom looks like a Parkinson's victim when she hasn't had a drink yet that day. She has to drink every day in order to not get the shakes.
Don't be afraid of trying rehab or a 12 step type group. It will feel kooky and weird at first. The number one thing I can recommend is to surround yourself with positive sober people who have overcome similar struggles. You can beat this.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] 1
#21742452 - 05/30/15 08:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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the shaking is most likely from alcohol withdrawl. you sweetie are an alcoholic.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Drumdude27] 1
#21742462 - 05/30/15 08:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Drumdude27 said: Did the terrible HTC phones drive you to drink? 
I hope you didn't take the personally. Now that I got that out of my system, I can say that you've already taken the first step, and accepted the fact that you have to do something about your habit. Good. Now take another small step, and make a change.
It's all about small, individual steps.
Haha nah it's all good. After going through all that shit today I don't even want to look at another drink for a long ass time. It'll just be hard to avoid the temptation of going out with my dudes and getting sloshed every weekend, especially being in college and shit.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 5 minutes, 34 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Drumdude27] 1
#21742463 - 05/30/15 08:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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just put down the bottle... and talk to us instead of drinking
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: sprinkles] 2
#21742466 - 05/30/15 08:07 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hi Malcolm. Might I suggest restricting yourself to beer as a start?
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#21742472 - 05/30/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said: Hi Malcolm. Might I suggest restricting yourself to beer as a start?
Definitely this. Liquor was always my go to because it gets the job done way faster. Plus I don't like being all full and bloated from beer.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Drumdude27
Millennial Hippy



Registered: 03/22/13
Posts: 563
Last seen: 4 months, 4 days
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742474 - 05/30/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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*Insert comment about taking psychs to help kick your addiction here*
Now that that's out of the way, all I can say is that you should just post here whenever you're tempted. I'm sure a few of us can give you some words of encouragement to help when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yourself.
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Random acts of Shroomery kindness Drumdude27 said: Don't make me get the FemNazis involved guys. 420th post. No regrets. Only joy.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 5 minutes, 34 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742475 - 05/30/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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if you've been drinking that ammount every night you might even start with 3 beers... and try to get it down to 1 over the next month or two... but yeah...you know you gotta make changes and thats the hard part.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: ikku]
#21742477 - 05/30/15 08:11 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
ikku said: Are you sure it was a panic attack? Sounds like it might be delirium tremens. Alcohol withdrawal. It will get worse. My girlfriend's mom looks like a Parkinson's victim when she hasn't had a drink yet that day. She has to drink every day in order to not get the shakes.
Don't be afraid of trying rehab or a 12 step type group. It will feel kooky and weird at first. The number one thing I can recommend is to surround yourself with positive sober people who have overcome similar struggles. You can beat this.
I always thought DT was a result of like 10 years of constant drinking? This has probably been going on for about a year for me. Not entirely sure though
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742481 - 05/30/15 08:12 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Bruh...
I was joking... I didn't mean to cave in your entire life around you.
I'll mail you some benzo's so you can kick your habit mix them together for twice the fun.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742492 - 05/30/15 08:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Nah. You got the DTs.
--------------------
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 5 minutes, 34 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742500 - 05/30/15 08:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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stratocast
Has Been



Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 345
Loc: ohio, U.S.
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Salomon]
#21742510 - 05/30/15 08:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: hi malcom
That's an AA joke. Haha. If you dont think aa will help, there are also something called smart meetings. Alcohol addiction is a real bitch. It will tell you that a drink sounds good as soon as the sickness goes away. You may wanna look into programs to get into. There are free ones out there.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: zappaisgod]
#21742513 - 05/30/15 08:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said: Nah. You got the DTs.
Well fuck. Do i need to check myself in somewhere? I definitely feel a lot better as far as the anxiety goes. I could barely even drive home today without freaking the fuck out. I couldn't focus on anything or look at my computer/phone screen for extended periods of time. I've calmed down enough to the point where i don't feel like I'm gonna jump out of my skin anymore though.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Psychonautica]
#21742515 - 05/30/15 08:18 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Psychonautica said: Bruh...
I was joking... I didn't mean to cave in your entire life around you.
I'll mail you some benzo's so you can kick your habit mix them together for twice the fun.
You were right though
I gotta get my shit together. I have way too much to lose
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 10,854
Loc: Free Soul & IISkuNkII
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742523 - 05/30/15 08:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I feel like a dick now...
You are always drunk though.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,522
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 5 minutes, 34 seconds
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Re: My name is Malcolm, and I'm an Alcoholic [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21742531 - 05/30/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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1) you dont need to check in anywhere unless you think you are going to drink if someone doesnt stop you.
2) drink water... it helps.
3) when reasonably hydrated...drink caffeine it helps
i drank a lot in highschool (half a lifetime ago). realized that drinking vodka every hour was useless and wasted tons of money. and i stopped cold turkey, it sucked, but it stopped sucking and was fine.
you dont need meetings (unless you need support)
you dont need to check yourself in places.
you just need to not drink
and talking helps. and talking yourself out of it is key.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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