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OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: LadyKate]
    #21742534 - 05/30/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

LadyKate said:
Now, I am rather inexperienced in psychedelics, having only heard of  the controversial "ego-loss" and "level system" as of very recently. I've skimmed the board for any threads I felt directly related to me, but couldn't really find one.

Every single time I trip (I've only ever taken lsd and mushrooms) I feel like I experience this. The only time I have ever NOT felt this was when I just chewed on a stem or two and just got a case of the giggles. It really doesn't matter the amount I ingest either, it ALWAYS turns into absolute loss of reality. It's always resulted in me losing complete control to the point where I'm speaking in clicks. People always talk about tripping at a festival or going for a long walk or hike and tripping, but I don't see how that's possible because I absolutely can not function.

While I have felt the enlightenment that comes with it, i do not find it to be an enjoyable experience at all. I love everything about how the trip makes me feel--until it inevitably comes to that point. Had I had some tripping experience under my belt, in sure it would be a lot more enjoyable, but I don't and this has been how I trip every time since day one. Most people just tell me a bad trip is all in your head and it's about the mindset you have going in, but I feel like I had a pretty good head about it going in--it's when I peak that things shift.

I'm still not even sure what it really is I'm experiencing every time I trip or why my brain goes there despite the small quantities I've taken. The obvious answer would be to just not ingest psychedelics--and I don't. after having several trips end that way, I finally stopped trying all together, however I do absolutely love the feeling prior to that peak. I suppose in just looking for any insight or wisdom as to why this happens, if there's anything I can do to help it, or if I'm simply just not cut out for psychs.




You like the effects of the trip before your loss of reality because you like the effects of the truth but you dont like truth itself.

This will explain your problem:


Peace.


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Invisiblemustangbob3
Mad Myrmecologist
I'm a teapot


Registered: 10/15/14
Posts: 1,685
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: Deviate]
    #21743541 - 05/31/15 01:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

if you like the growing why not have a go at edibles instead of actives :smile:
they can be just as fun to grow!!
just do the odd cube grow for your friends, for say halloween :smile:


--------------------



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OfflineEggtimer
HotSauce Lover

Registered: 05/04/13
Posts: 3,097
Last seen: 4 days, 3 hours
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: mustangbob3]
    #21743682 - 05/31/15 03:15 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

This is the point of psychedelics to me:lol:. If you don't like that try lower doses or maybe go for LSD. I've never had loss of self on 100-300mcg range of LSD

Who is experiencing this "loss of reality and self" if the self is lost?



--------------------
It's all for the :lol:s


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OfflineLadyKate
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Registered: 05/30/15
Posts: 13
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: Eggtimer]
    #21744791 - 05/31/15 01:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I can see how it's the ultimate goal and I've read of people who aspire to find that state while tripping; I think that it happening my first time tripping (on a very low dose of lsd) was a bit of a shock to my system since I wasn't eased into it. Like you said, people spend years trying to get to that point and I, never having felt any psychedelic effects before that, was able to get there the first time. Most people have the opportunity to get used to these feelings whereas I was just thrown into them.  I think something of that intensify is a lot for anyone to handle--especially someone who has never had a trip before.

I think spreading the dose out is a good idea. I'lol definitely try that next time.


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OfflineLadyKate
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Registered: 05/30/15
Posts: 13
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: Eggtimer]
    #21744822 - 05/31/15 01:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Eggtimer said:
This is the point of psychedelics to me:lol:. If you don't like that try lower doses or maybe go for LSD. I've never had loss of self on 100-300mcg range of LSD

Who is experiencing this "loss of reality and self" if the self is lost?







Also, that's obviously a very tough question to answer. The loss of reality becomes apparent to me while I'm coming down--not while I'm experiencing it as that wouldn't make much sense! :p as for who it is that's actually experiencing said loss since my self would be nowhere to be found...I really don't know. Maybe it's not a who so much as a what.


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OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: LadyKate]
    #21744840 - 05/31/15 01:30 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

LadyKate said:
I can see how it's the ultimate goal and I've read of people who aspire to find that state while tripping; I think that it happening my first time tripping (on a very low dose of lsd) was a bit of a shock to my system since I wasn't eased into it. Like you said, people spend years trying to get to that point and I, never having felt any psychedelic effects before that, was able to get there the first time. Most people have the opportunity to get used to these feelings whereas I was just thrown into them.  I think something of that intensify is a lot for anyone to handle--especially someone who has never had a trip before.

I think spreading the dose out is a good idea. I'lol definitely try that next time.





Oh yes, it is definitely a lot to handle but I am merely suggesting you look at it as a great blessing. I experienced that state on weed. I kept thinking "i didn't think this was supposed to happen on weed, I thoyught you needed to take LSD for something like this". Now I find it difficult to get back to that state on any substance, so please try to understand how lucky you are.


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OfflineLadyKate
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Registered: 05/30/15
Posts: 13
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: Deviate]
    #21744870 - 05/31/15 01:40 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Haha, while I do consider myself lucky that I'm a cheap date when it comes to taking psychs, it would've been nice to get eased into it a bit more so I could actually learn to appreciate it!  I think now that I have further understanding in what was actually happening, my appreciation for it will be able to grow more. Apparently, it IS rare and a bit of a phenomena because none of the people I've ever talked to about it never had any experience like mine. So, I guess I do consider myself lucky :p


Edited by LadyKate (05/31/15 01:43 PM)


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OfflineEggtimer
HotSauce Lover

Registered: 05/04/13
Posts: 3,097
Last seen: 4 days, 3 hours
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: LadyKate]
    #21744899 - 05/31/15 01:51 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

LadyKate said:
Quote:

Eggtimer said:
This is the point of psychedelics to me:lol:. If you don't like that try lower doses or maybe go for LSD. I've never had loss of self on 100-300mcg range of LSD

Who is experiencing this "loss of reality and self" if the self is lost?







Also, that's obviously a very tough question to answer. The loss of reality becomes apparent to me while I'm coming down--not while I'm experiencing it as that wouldn't make much sense! :p as for who it is that's actually experiencing said loss since my self would be nowhere to be found...I really don't know. Maybe it's not a who so much as a what.




Haha I like that answer.
The idea of nonduality goes well with psychedelic use. If you've never listened to Alan Watts I can't recommend him enough.





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OfflineLadyKate
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Registered: 05/30/15
Posts: 13
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: Eggtimer]
    #21744920 - 05/31/15 02:05 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I had not heard of him! I'm silly and realized you posted a video AFTER I responded lol. I thought you just had a goofy signature! :p he is VERY profound, I was going to ask you his name so I could listen further. What a brilliant man.

Edit: there I go, respons ding before watching the videos. I was referring to the man in the second video you posted, speaking of dreams.


Edited by LadyKate (05/31/15 02:25 PM)


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OfflineEggtimer
HotSauce Lover

Registered: 05/04/13
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Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: LadyKate]
    #21745244 - 05/31/15 03:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

LadyKate said:
I had not heard of him! I'm silly and realized you posted a video AFTER I responded lol. I thought you just had a goofy signature! :p he is VERY profound, I was going to ask you his name so I could listen further. What a brilliant man.

Edit: there I go, respons ding before watching the videos. I was referring to the man in the second video you posted, speaking of dreams.




That's Moojiji. Here's his YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/Moojiji/videos

I use to look at the world and the universe as meaningless nothing that the universe was dead and dumb. Here I am an intelligent creature stuck in a dumb universe. A unfortunate accident of existence I got tangled up in as a human being. Basically I was a devout materialist without realizing it. I claimed to have a open mind but anything about spirituality or the idea that life might be something besides a random event I had completely closed my mind off to.

When I smoked DMT I had these odd feelings of everything in the universe being intimately entangled with everything else. Life, stars, planets, elements, matter, energy, myself, and so on. It was a feeling of ohhh here I am watching the unspeakable meaning of existence unfold and it's all connected.
It was the feeling that well maybe the universe isn't so dumb. Maybe there is some sort of cosmic consciousness, a fundamental force of the universe like gravity that is all pervading. At the time I was thinking this is what is causing the order in chaos, the formation of stars and plants, the billions of years of evolution to get here, "holy shit I'm like a part of this force too."

Now I don't clam that any of this stuff is real. It very well could be my brain just having a electrical seizure. This being said to me it seems very real.

I had never felt like this before and I had never read about this kind of stuff so I started looking for things similar to my experience.
The closest practice I could find was non-duality and Advaita Vedanta which is a lot of what Moojiji talks about. I still don't believe in any gods or directly follow any religion but some like Advaita Vedanta and Taoism describe well what I feel to be the nature of the psychedelic experience and reality itself.


--------------------
It's all for the :lol:s


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OfflineDeviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Apparent "loss of ego" or loss of reality every time [Re: LadyKate]
    #21745944 - 05/31/15 07:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

LadyKate said:
I had not heard of him! I'm silly and realized you posted a video AFTER I responded lol. I thought you just had a goofy signature! :p he is VERY profound, I was going to ask you his name so I could listen further. What a brilliant man.

Edit: there I go, respons ding before watching the videos. I was referring to the man in the second video you posted, speaking of dreams.




Mooji is awesome, I like him a lot more than Alan Watts. I never liked Alan Watts but especially after listening to him during my trip yesterday, he was saying that psychedelics are medicine and people get addicted to the medicine (which is true) but then he went onto to say religion is the same thing and ideally priests should be trying to get rid of people by fixing their problems rather than trying to get more people to come to church.

I couldn't disagree more, I mean that is such an arrogant statement that reflects such a limited understanding of what Christianity is all about. Church is more than just about fixing your problems, it is about being part of a community of like minded people and about developing a relationship with God. Finding true union with God is the project of a lifetime, it is not like you just go to a priest (or any kind of spiritual teacher), he tells you a little something and bang boom you are one with God, completely perfect and finished with spirituality. What a joke.

As I see it, your relationship with God is something where there is always room to deepen it further. I'm not saying it is impossible to become spiritually perfect and fully enlightened in this lifetime, but realistically speaking how many people achieve that in their lifetime let alone in a brief period  of church attendance? And even if you do achieve that, you can still go to church just to be a part of the community and serve others. Also, this might be shocking to Alan Watts, but some Christian actually ENJOY going to church, they enjoy the singing and the beauty of the service and the sense of community. church is not like cold medicine where the only conceivable reason to go is if you want to cure a cold.

So yeah, Alan Watts has always rubbed me the wrong way, plus he died of alcoholism. I know it is not my place to judge, but when it comes to spiritual teachers, I prefer to seek guidance from folks who are not engaged in the process of drinking themselves to death.

Anyway LadyKate, Mooji is an awesome and beautiful being whom I highly recommend. He can help you understanding the meaning of what you have experienced in a spiritual context.

A few other teachers I recommend are Bentinho Massaro, Adyashanti and Matt Kahn.


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