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OfflineSleepyE
DMT is metaphysical
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Registered: 07/21/08
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Whats it like having a significant other?
    #21739062 - 05/29/15 10:42 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

This is probably my biggest dream ever, having someone to hold on to especially when you feel alone.

I think a lot people take for granted what a blessing it is to have access to something like that.

personally i have no clue what that must be like, the idea is completely alien to me. I have only ever experienced myself. I guess i must have some mental problems or something because my ability to connect with people is almost non existent so i have spent the majority of my life in isolation pretty much. Which is fine i guess, gave me time to develop hobbies and whatnot but unfortunately it becomes damaging on the mind i think after a certain point.

I feel my isolation slowly deteriorating me mentally and there is not much i can do about it (shitty work hours, very limited access to people and my friends are only available when im working) I find my completely snapping at the must minor shit, and weeping to myself multiple times a day.

Its odd, i was able to get by on this isolation when i was younger and it didnt really affect my ability to function but now its making the most mundane tasks such a burden and struggle.

I guess this i could handle but i also have a lot of traumatic memories from my psychosis that replay in my head while im at work and its just horrible.

I keep hope that the experience of not feeling alone will come into my life but i just kinda think that im not capable of obtaining and maintaining something like that partly because of the damage this intense isolation and how its pretty much made my unstable and i just dont have the energy to try to keep this shit stable anymore.

i wish i wasnt alone all the time :frown: really hurts... a lot.


like really bad.


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OfflineWScott
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21739093 - 05/29/15 10:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Undulating mix of fun and work, joy and chore.
Not to say that the chores can't be joyful and that the work can't be fun but if you're going to be in someone's life you better be ready to be involved in it. In my experience, the limits of feeling peace and calm may be expanded, in that it is deeply satisfying to experience intimate company with a loved one, but the opposite can also be true.


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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 8
    #21739104 - 05/29/15 10:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

The grass is always greener on the other side. Long story short; dont take what you have for granted. Some people would kill for your lifestyle.

If you dont like where youre at...why not try to change it? Change jobs, move, go to school, hit the road...the list goes on. Youre in the cockpit, buddy. Take control.


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: I_was_the_walrus] * 1
    #21739157 - 05/29/15 11:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I've been there sleepy.

It sucks when you just want someone there and there no one.

I suggest hitting up some music festivals, there's all types of people that are totally open minded about any and all lifestyles and personalities.

I met this guy who I thought was mega awkward, kicked it for a while. I was gonna introduce him to one of my lady friends at the fest because she was a little lonely in her life, she's kinda awkward too so I thought it was a good fit.

Turns out this fucking spazz has a god damn dime on his arm next time I see him. Lol they were fucking engaged!! He's a good guy, great guy, just a little odd.

Side note, my lady friend hooked up anyway, so it all worked out.

If festivals really aren't your thing, maybe look into online dating apps.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #21739158 - 05/29/15 11:03 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I have complex issues that really make that unlikely for me.

Im an outsider, i feel like an alien when communicating with people.

Maybe i just need to teach my mind and body to be okay with living alone. But from whats going on with me it seems this is psychological handicap. Maybe its just all in my mind.


--------------------
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Offlineskepitcallyturning
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 3
    #21739165 - 05/29/15 11:05 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It's a shame you're getting 'conventional wisdom' here of tough it out/shake things up/be grateful, etc. All those things have their value, but when you are talking about something as basic as the need for companionship and intimacy, you need to take stock and take care of yourself. If you are struggling with intrusive thoughts or mood swings you should talk to a therapist you like and get along well with. They can also help you figure out how to build relationships and find more enjoyment in your life. Advice like get a new job, make friends, you're in control etc. is all good, but sometimes it is difficult to know where to start. Processing your feelings alone your whole life is an unnecessary burden. RE: the last few things you wrote. Relationships like anything else involve learning and mistakes. There's not really such a thing as incapable with things like this. You're just learning. An online dating profile might be a good place to start. This way you can pace things and be in control, and maybe make things a little less overwhelming. To actually answer your question though, it can be wonderful, and it can go terribly, like many things. But I do think it is better to have loved, regardless of loss, like that saying. And some people spend their whole lives together. It's different for everybody and timing or relationship status aren't really good markers of worth or suitability, so don't worry about it. It's normal to be hesitant about something your inexperienced with. It'll turn out okay :smile:


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OfflineSleepyE
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Registered: 07/21/08
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21739172 - 05/29/15 11:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Supachopped719 said:
I've been there sleepy.

It sucks when you just want someone there and there no one.

I suggest hitting up some music festivals, there's all types of people that are totally open minded about any and all lifestyles and personalities.

I met this guy who I thought was mega awkward, kicked it for a while. I was gonna introduce him to one of my lady friends at the fest because she was a little lonely in her life, she's kinda awkward too so I thought it was a good fit.

Turns out this fucking spazz has a god damn dime on his arm next time I see him. Lol they were fucking engaged!! He's a good guy, great guy, just a little odd.

Side note, my lady friend hooked up anyway, so it all worked out.

If festivals really aren't your thing, maybe look into online dating apps.




Not really into online dating.

if i get time i can sometimes to go raves or clubs with my friends but the opportunity to do that is rare.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: skepitcallyturning]
    #21739179 - 05/29/15 11:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

skepitcallyturning said:
It's a shame you're getting 'conventional wisdom' here of tough it out/shake things up/be grateful, etc. All those things have their value, but when you are talking about something as basic as the need for companionship and intimacy, you need to take stock and take care of yourself. If you are struggling with intrusive thoughts or mood swings you should talk to a therapist you like and get along well with. They can also help you figure out how to build relationships and find more enjoyment in your life. Advice like get a new job, make friends, you're in control etc. is all good, but sometimes it is difficult to know where to start. Processing your feelings alone your whole life is an unnecessary burden. RE: the last few things you wrote. Relationships like anything else involve learning and mistakes. There's not really such a thing as incapable with things like this. You're just learning. An online dating profile might be a good place to start. This way you can pace things and be in control, and maybe make things a little less overwhelming. To actually answer your question though, it can be wonderful, and it can go terribly, like many things. But I do think it is better to have loved, regardless of loss, like that saying. And some people spend their whole lives together. It's different for everybody and timing or relationship status aren't really good markers of worth or suitability, so don't worry about it. It's normal to be hesitant about something your inexperienced with. It'll turn out okay :smile:



thanks i appreciate the advice.


--------------------
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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21739383 - 05/30/15 12:10 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Raves and clubs are not the place to find love or a serious companion. A festival bro. Plan a vacation and go to the forest and camp out for a weekend. If anything a nice vacation will be really relaxing.

Trust me there are some fucking aliens out there. And they attract other aliens. You feel alone but your not. If I remember correctly, You work out a lot and got a killer bod. You will be fine, your smart young and healthy.

Don't beat yourself up, shit happens when it happens.


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Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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InvisibleHobozen
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21739426 - 05/30/15 12:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

you're in Canada OP, come to Vancouver and buy a bombshell asian hooker once a week.  you don't have to go to the bar, pay for drinks and risk getting an STD. it will satisfy your sexual desires and you can move on with your life.  and who knows, maybe you might even make friends with one of them.


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Offlineeira
i am excited to be here


Registered: 07/03/11
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21739470 - 05/30/15 12:46 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It's not a lack of an SO that's the problem. It's the environment you're in.

An SO would be a great distraction but the same old shit would still be there after the honeymoon.


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:feelsgoodgurl:


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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: eira]
    #21739483 - 05/30/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Its really nice

ive been alone for awhile though


--------------------
:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
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InvisibleHobozen
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: eira]
    #21739486 - 05/30/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i dunno, i think we all crave physical contact on some level.  no matter the environment, we still wanna feel some lips and tits and dicks and vaginas.  relationships on the other hand... not need IMO.


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Invisiblerefried

Registered: 06/14/13
Posts: 3,675
Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Hobozen]
    #21739586 - 05/30/15 02:06 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

how old (about) are you?

i'd say it depends. i've always been a serial monogomist (and cheater at times).  currently in 10 year relationship it can be pretty fucking stagnant after a while dude and often wonder what i'm missing. i bet my partner thinks the same.  i bet my parents and grandparents felt the same.


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: refried]
    #21739596 - 05/30/15 02:10 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It's like having someone that listens to your emotional problems as long as you spend stupid amounts of money on them.  Just my experience of course.


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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Invisiblekr0nik0
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude] * 1
    #21739620 - 05/30/15 02:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Aw, no doobie.

Love from a significant other is something that is indescribable, OP but I'll give you my opinions.
Both the intellectual and physical affection of a true significant other is a type of contentedness that can't be achieved by being single and sleeping around.

Of course that's fun, and love may eventually come out of casual sex but until then it's just somewhat childish, a based mostly on lust.

I've been single now for over 2 years, and I've been looking, if that is even possible, for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. I can tell you without a doubt that none of the sex in these past 2+ years has been as gratifying physically or mentally as they were with my ex(es).

I might be in the minority in this way of thinking. Maybe it's because as I teeter totter on 30 my mindset has changed, I'm not quite sure. All I'm sure of is, is that love is grand. :heart:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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InvisibleApollyphelion
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: kr0nik0] * 1
    #21739708 - 05/30/15 03:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Never bored
never lonely
always high
always laughing


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

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InvisibleBlackWidow
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` [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #21739841 - 05/30/15 05:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

`


Edited by BlackWidow (02/03/21 03:51 PM)


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 2
    #21739842 - 05/30/15 05:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I would dig the whole getting old together thing. I see it with my dad and his second wife and its really groovy. My dad did it right too, shes 20 years younger:cookiemonster:


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Omnicyclion.org
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Invisiblerefried

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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21739928 - 05/30/15 06:45 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

if i had it to do over again i'd be a fucking swinger man. life's too complex to tie yourself one other human being for the duration and there ought to be a law where you have to change it up regardless every 5 years tops.  this world needs more order.


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OfflineWebster10
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21740029 - 05/30/15 07:43 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It's nice having someone to talk to all of the time and to share memories and experiences with. The sex part is great too. The drama though, :thumbdown:


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OfflineKing Klick
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Webster10] * 1
    #21740194 - 05/30/15 08:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

No offense...but you sound like you're not ready for a longterm relationship. You're not happy with yourself

Trust me, i'm not happy with myself and my longterm girlfriend has to suffer for it. Same with me from her monotonous life. Love sucks, don't bother yet. Improve yourself, be happy,


--------------------
Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul



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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Webster10]
    #21740204 - 05/30/15 08:55 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Bah i jus dont want to be alone anymore, and i just have terrible memories from my psychosis that haunt me because i guess i hallucinated that i got sent messages that someone i really liked was interested in me and i acted on these hallucinations and then this person said awful things to me and treated me like shit and those memories just keep replaying in my mind. It really ruins my self confidence.

The problem is this person baited me by sending text validating my delusions like "i love you" then said i didnt send that.

I was just trying to figure out what was going on and i was scared then this person called me a "horrible creepy stalker".

I cant convince this person that that wasnt me because some unfortunate stuff was happening to me and i couldnt tell reality apart from my delusions. I was having facebook conversations with people that didnt exist. It was like a datura trip or something.

Now these memories just haunt me, and this persons hatred towards me really ruins my self confidence. Im a very sensitive person and im not equipt to have that level of negativity directed towards me.

I tried to explain that i wasnt experiencing reality properly and that was not a normal thing for me to do but this person doesnt want to hear it.

I just wish this person didnt validate my delusions to make a fool of me.

I just want these memories and traumas to go away. I just want someone to hold on to so im not constantly raped by these thoughts and i can jusr have a moment of peace being loved by someone


--------------------
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OfflineSleepyE
DMT is metaphysical
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21740331 - 05/30/15 09:40 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I just need someones company to help keep these memories away because it is constantly replaying in my mind because im always just alone with my thoughts. I keep praying to a god to give an opportunuty to find someone and instead i get a big fuck you and am placed in solitady confinment where its only these bad memories that replay. This is torture, i just need someones help :frown:

I dont want to feel like killing myself just to escape this constant and sharp pain, its hurting so badly, honestly the isolation wouldnt be so bad if i didnt have these memories raping my mind. I just want it to stop, i just want to hug someone.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21740512 - 05/30/15 10:29 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It's great but only in the small chance she's worth a damn.

Anyone can have a "significant other", but finding the right one is a serious challenge for most people


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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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OfflineSleepyE
DMT is metaphysical
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21740515 - 05/30/15 10:29 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i just had a mental breakdown, ended up punching my door on in my room and now the hinge is broken and there is a hole in the wall and im bleeding.

I think im going to call me work and tell them i quit. i cant handle one more moment of isolation, I cant stop crying. i just want a hug from someone.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

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InvisibleAstral Pain
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21740544 - 05/30/15 10:38 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

It's really not healthy to sit in isolation for long periods of time. Idle time with crazy thoughts will make things worse.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__


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OfflineGanga Lova
fuck I spelled ganja wrong
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Astral Pain]
    #21740561 - 05/30/15 10:41 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

From what I've experienced, it's unconditional trust for another person. This gives a feeling of peace, security, etc.

What I'm starting to think is, this might be easily replaced with a notebook, and I might enjoy that more tbh.


Edited by Ganga Lova (05/30/15 10:44 AM)


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Ganga Lova] * 1
    #21740569 - 05/30/15 10:44 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

A significant other doesnt imply unconditional love, just a romantic and meaningful relationship of some sort.

There's a gap between those two things.


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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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OfflineSleepyE
DMT is metaphysical
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: ModestMouse]
    #21740621 - 05/30/15 11:00 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

my mom called my work and told them i cant make it in,

i cant work this job anymore, i have a job interview at 2 with i place that may or may not give me a better shedule


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


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OfflineSleepyE
DMT is metaphysical
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21740636 - 05/30/15 11:04 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i get today off, hopefully i can go out tonight and fix my isolation.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

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Invisiblememes
Blessed


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21740647 - 05/30/15 11:07 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
I just want it to stop, i just want to hug someone.




What shroomerites live near this man?!  someone give this man a hug!


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21740649 - 05/30/15 11:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Go to a bar, get hammered and just keep talking to women.


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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OfflineSleepyE
DMT is metaphysical
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: memes]
    #21740657 - 05/30/15 11:11 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i think the universe doesnt feel i deserve such a blessing.

its sucks though because im trying extremely hard to improve myself and made great progress, in crazy good shape now and trying to focus on my hobbies and going to college (hopefully if my loans are sufficient ) but i just feel like no matter what i do its just not good enough and i still deserve loneliness and isolation.

its getting to a boiling point where if it is not fixed i just wont be able to hold myself up anymore.

Im in a crisis.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

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Edited by SleepyE (05/30/15 11:13 AM)


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21740662 - 05/30/15 11:13 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Take the advice we are giving you.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go talk to women.  Do you expect to just have them fall into your lap?


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21740671 - 05/30/15 11:16 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

well get off of the fucking computer and go do something about it.  walk to the grocery store, right now.



buy three unrelated things (shaving cream, tortillas, and a lightbulb) and when  you get to the checkout counter (doesnt matter what the person looks like or their gender), as them "hey, can you guess what i'm making?"

It'll spark a quick, fun little banter.  Then, leave.

Go to another store.  talk to someone else.






if you do this daily, throughout your life, you'll start to see patterns.  "oh, that's Ray, he's the manager of my corner 7-11"  "oh, that's tanisha, she's the manager of my local metro station" "oh, that's tiffany, she's the OTHER metro station manager".  the interaction becomes standard, they become 'checkpionts' throughout your day, to help keep you grounded in social interaction.

I even get AMAZING hugs from tanisha, my neighborhood metro lady.  she calls me her boyfriend (even though she's older, and married, and 3x my weight).


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude] * 1
    #21740672 - 05/30/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Nah, start with men and women. Make friends first. You're not emotionally ready for a relationship unless you're emotionally capable of maintaining friendships.

Plus man, relationships are overrated


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21740673 - 05/30/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

thats not the issue.. i can talk to women fine, its just i have a lot of messed up shit in my head that fucks with my perception of things.

its hard to really explain and not many of you will understand that.

its more i have mental issues that causes me to isolate myself against my will. and i wish i didnt have this issues.

i cant explain to you how traumatic the shits was that happened to me and it effects me in a way that keeps me lonely.

its just on top of this shit i have no opportunity to go out because i have to work, and if i dont work then i cant go out cuz im broke.

ehh nevermind.

I suppose im just panicking because this shits getting overwhelming for me.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21740679 - 05/30/15 11:18 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

take small doses of ecastasy before you go out :smile:


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: ModestMouse]
    #21740681 - 05/30/15 11:19 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

ModestMouse said:
Nah, start with men and women. Make friends first. You're not emotionally ready for a relationship unless you're emotionally capable of maintaining friendships.

Plus man, relationships are overrated



i have friendships but no time for them because of work.

its just this fucking job thats really fucking with me guys, sorry if im complaining.

i dont really have an issue except slavery.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: memes]
    #21740684 - 05/30/15 11:19 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

memes said:
take small doses of ecastasy before you go out :smile:



ahah yeah it does make you more frisky.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21740703 - 05/30/15 11:29 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

sorry guys i didnt mean to waste anyones time, i just have been isolated for months cuz of this job and now its fucking with my head and making me feel like i have problems with myself that i dont actually have.

Im naturally an introverted person but i get to talk to women usually because i am introduced by a friend.

I dont see how interacting with strangers by yourself can go well at all.

i just need to have access to my friends and its been very very long since ive had any contact with them so im basically fucking delusional right now.

sorry guys.


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21740729 - 05/30/15 11:39 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quit making excuses and fix your issue.


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OfflineMajickMuffin
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21740738 - 05/30/15 11:44 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
This is probably my biggest dream ever, having someone to hold on to especially when you feel alone.

I think a lot people take for granted what a blessing it is to have access to something like that.

personally i have no clue what that must be like, the idea is completely alien to me. I have only ever experienced myself. I guess i must have some mental problems or something because my ability to connect with people is almost non existent so i have spent the majority of my life in isolation pretty much. Which is fine i guess, gave me time to develop hobbies and whatnot but unfortunately it becomes damaging on the mind i think after a certain point.

I feel my isolation slowly deteriorating me mentally and there is not much i can do about it (shitty work hours, very limited access to people and my friends are only available when im working) I find my completely snapping at the must minor shit, and weeping to myself multiple times a day.

Its odd, i was able to get by on this isolation when i was younger and it didnt really affect my ability to function but now its making the most mundane tasks such a burden and struggle.

I guess this i could handle but i also have a lot of traumatic memories from my psychosis that replay in my head while im at work and its just horrible.

I keep hope that the experience of not feeling alone will come into my life but i just kinda think that im not capable of obtaining and maintaining something like that partly because of the damage this intense isolation and how its pretty much made my unstable and i just dont have the energy to try to keep this shit stable anymore.

i wish i wasnt alone all the time :frown: really hurts... a lot.


like really bad.




I'm in the same situation as you my friend.
Though I haven't broken down about it, only recently have I been noticing by subconscious is in pain, it's struggling.
I'm losing motivation and beginning to have a hard time doing things.

I'm also young and good looking.
It's so hard to find people very unique, with in depth hobbies, beliefs, ways.
I'm trying to find someone now, only since a week or two.
Start trying. Change your habits to allow the possibility for someone to enter your life, and hopefully someone will.

Hold onto your sanity. And try and change what's wrong.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: MajickMuffin] * 1
    #21740814 - 05/30/15 12:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

All jokes aside, when I see somebody like you, I recommend you get yourself a therapist and begin to do real, hard work.  For years if necessary.  You aren't going to "get up off the computer" to go solve this.  Good luck.  If you ever have questions about therapy you can PM me I've been in it for 8 years and while I'm not fixed, it's made a world of difference.

My REAL advice.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: MajickMuffin]
    #21741008 - 05/30/15 01:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

MajickMuffin said:
Quote:

SleepyE said:
This is probably my biggest dream ever, having someone to hold on to especially when you feel alone.

I think a lot people take for granted what a blessing it is to have access to something like that.

personally i have no clue what that must be like, the idea is completely alien to me. I have only ever experienced myself. I guess i must have some mental problems or something because my ability to connect with people is almost non existent so i have spent the majority of my life in isolation pretty much. Which is fine i guess, gave me time to develop hobbies and whatnot but unfortunately it becomes damaging on the mind i think after a certain point.

I feel my isolation slowly deteriorating me mentally and there is not much i can do about it (shitty work hours, very limited access to people and my friends are only available when im working) I find my completely snapping at the must minor shit, and weeping to myself multiple times a day.

Its odd, i was able to get by on this isolation when i was younger and it didnt really affect my ability to function but now its making the most mundane tasks such a burden and struggle.

I guess this i could handle but i also have a lot of traumatic memories from my psychosis that replay in my head while im at work and its just horrible.

I keep hope that the experience of not feeling alone will come into my life but i just kinda think that im not capable of obtaining and maintaining something like that partly because of the damage this intense isolation and how its pretty much made my unstable and i just dont have the energy to try to keep this shit stable anymore.

i wish i wasnt alone all the time :frown: really hurts... a lot.


like really bad.




I'm in the same situation as you my friend.
Though I haven't broken down about it, only recently have I been noticing by subconscious is in pain, it's struggling.
I'm losing motivation and beginning to have a hard time doing things.

I'm also young and good looking.
It's so hard to find people very unique, with in depth hobbies, beliefs, ways.
I'm trying to find someone now, only since a week or two.
Start trying. Change your habits to allow the possibility for someone to enter your life, and hopefully someone will.

Hold onto your sanity. And try and change what's wrong.



Thank you for your advice, glad to see im not the only one.


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21741126 - 05/30/15 01:37 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
This is probably my biggest dream ever, having someone to hold on to especially when you feel alone.

I think a lot people take for granted what a blessing it is to have access to something like that.

personally i have no clue what that must be like, the idea is completely alien to me. I have only ever experienced myself. I guess i must have some mental problems or something because my ability to connect with people is almost non existent so i have spent the majority of my life in isolation pretty much. Which is fine i guess, gave me time to develop hobbies and whatnot but unfortunately it becomes damaging on the mind i think after a certain point.

I feel my isolation slowly deteriorating me mentally and there is not much i can do about it (shitty work hours, very limited access to people and my friends are only available when im working) I find my completely snapping at the must minor shit, and weeping to myself multiple times a day.

Its odd, i was able to get by on this isolation when i was younger and it didnt really affect my ability to function but now its making the most mundane tasks such a burden and struggle.

I guess this i could handle but i also have a lot of traumatic memories from my psychosis that replay in my head while im at work and its just horrible.

I keep hope that the experience of not feeling alone will come into my life but i just kinda think that im not capable of obtaining and maintaining something like that partly because of the damage this intense isolation and how its pretty much made my unstable and i just dont have the energy to try to keep this shit stable anymore.

i wish i wasnt alone all the time :frown: really hurts... a lot.


like really bad.




I guess I'm pretty much like you in some way. I've only had one serious girlfriend for like 14 months. The first 4 were date nights/see each other 3 or 4 times a week. The next 7 she was off to school so it was long distance and the last 3 she lived with me and I flipped the fuck out and broke up with her. I could only tolerate her in small doses. I thought that I could "fall in love". Never happened.

Since then its been sex only. I can't deal with the constant presence. I can't deal with the fact that if I get a girlfriend its an ongoing, thing with no 2 weeks vacation or whatever. It's a 24 hours thing. I can't do it.

Basically, at the rate I'm going, it's been 6 years since the girlfriend and odds are its gonna be another 60 before the next...


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Patlal]
    #21741134 - 05/30/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

That's not that weird Pat. To a lot of guys, getting girls is a young man's game. I couldn't count how many guys I know who have been there, done that, and aren't looking back. I love my girlfriend and plan on spending the rest of my life with her, more than happily. That being said though, if the unthinkable were to happen and it ended, I probably wouldn't actively look for a relationship again.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #21741180 - 05/30/15 01:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i might be able to go out tonight to a bar where there is this amateur rap show, a friend was hosting it and another buddy told me it was live so who knows. im just going to go and start talking to women. Im at the point where rejection probably wouldnt add too much to my anxiety.


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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21741241 - 05/30/15 02:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
i just had a mental breakdown, ended up punching my door on in my room and now the hinge is broken and there is a hole in the wall and im bleeding.

I think im going to call me work and tell them i quit. i cant handle one more moment of isolation, I cant stop crying. i just want a hug from someone.





Dude, ive been living I na rural area with no car for about 4 years


Only a handful of days I hung out with anyone I actually cared about, and now they all lefted my life over BS reasons,


I am very alone, I never punched walls though, sometimes felt like it though
I finally will be getting out of my shitty situation sometime this summer, I have money saved up etc




Having a friend, who really deep down is your friend, and it connected to you at the soul is one of the best feelings ever


I truly love bonding with someone in such a intimate way, mentally and physiccly


Rarely youlle get someone who speakes to you and makes ya happy :smile:


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SunnyD]
    #21741250 - 05/30/15 02:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Whenever I get the feelings of utter hopelessness and loneliness, and I don't have any friends to hang out with in reality, I just hop onto an online game, plug in my microphone and make a new friend.

I have multiple friends I met online that I've flew/drove out to hang out with.

I've known one kid for like 6 or 7 years, too, and we met playing counterstrike together, and I'd definitely consider him one of my best friends.


--------------------
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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21741259 - 05/30/15 02:19 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Psychonautica said:
Whenever I get the feelings of utter hopelessness and loneliness, and I don't have any friends to hang out with in reality, I just hop onto an online game, plug in my microphone and make a new friend.

I have multiple friends I met online that I've flew/drove out to hang out with.

I've known one kid for like 6 or 7 years, too, and we met playing counterstrike together, and I'd definitely consider him one of my best friends.



I got some xbox live friends, they were the only people I talked to years ago

there is still this kid around 13ish
Hes much more mature than most kids that age, so hes kinda like a son I never had :lol:
but hes a cool kid


And virtual communication only helps so much


--------------------
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This is the time in life I am living!
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SunnyD]
    #21741280 - 05/30/15 02:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i just want to be around real people, none of my friends are available today WTF.


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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21741291 - 05/30/15 02:29 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
i just want to be around real people, none of my friends are available today WTF.


Yo uwanna hear about a BS story about my friend

Doesn't surprise nor do I really care about this guy even tho hes been my only rl friend for years



He said he was coming to my bb sis graduation
He called me in the middle of it, telling me where it is, hes lost? LOL why would you go to it if you didn't know where it was

then I get a text 15mins later
saying he cant come, cause his mom :lol: said come home for lunch
:lol:


Then we was talking like a hr ago, hes hanging out with his gf




Now this stuff don't bother me anymore, I learn yo ugotta depend on yourself

even when your surround by idiots atm



:hug:
theylle cum one day


--------------------
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Invisibleluvdemboomers
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21741316 - 05/30/15 02:38 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
Quote:

memes said:
take small doses of ecastasy before you go out :smile:



ahah yeah it does make you more frisky.





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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: luvdemboomers]
    #21741352 - 05/30/15 02:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

luvdemboomers said:
Quote:

SleepyE said:
Quote:

memes said:
take small doses of ecastasy before you go out :smile:



ahah yeah it does make you more frisky.







I aint never been so frisky
in my lifffe..
:creepylurker:


--------------------
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SunnyD]
    #21741665 - 05/30/15 04:12 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

One of my friends called me back, sweet okay this is going down, same bar but bands are playing, perfect


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21742156 - 05/30/15 06:37 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

yeeeaayy im going out soon, my buddy is picking me up.

seems like the universe is answering my call for help, although it cost my job but fuck it, those jobs are a dime a dozen, il just pound the pavement like crazy and find a new gig as fast as i did this one


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21742185 - 05/30/15 06:43 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Hey buddy check your PMs.  Go chug a few beers to get loose, no one likes a sober sally


--------------------

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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21742208 - 05/30/15 06:50 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

:cheers: u kno it, thanks!


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OfflineMajickMuffin
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #21742426 - 05/30/15 07:56 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
That's not that weird Pat. To a lot of guys, getting girls is a young man's game. I couldn't count how many guys I know who have been there, done that, and aren't looking back. I love my girlfriend and plan on spending the rest of my life with her, more than happily. That being said though, if the unthinkable were to happen and it ended, I probably wouldn't actively look for a relationship again.



Thats what happened to me. And now its been 4 years since ive even as much as talked to a female and i just now am begining to see that i need it.i kinda of was just like, okay, if someone happens to cross paths with me and it goes well then ill go from there thats cool, but its not really possible in isolation from society.Even though im real close/in town, i live and work at my property so i never get any chance.

Its begining tk become what id like toccall, fucking retarded.


Edited by MajickMuffin (05/30/15 07:57 PM)


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Offlineikku
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: MajickMuffin] * 2
    #21742508 - 05/30/15 08:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

I have complex issues that really make that unlikely for me.

Im an outsider, i feel like an alien when communicating with people.

Maybe i just need to teach my mind and body to be okay with living alone. But from whats going on with me it seems this is psychological handicap. Maybe its just all in my mind.




Hey man,

Just thought I'd throw in some suggestions for you personally...I haven't read the full thread, I am just replying to the above post.

You should stop thinking those thoughts in that quote. Immediately. Do you want to think those thoughts? How do those thoughts make you feel? Those thoughts are limiting beliefs and the sooner you reverse them, the sooner you will find joy in your life.

Stop saying you're an outsider. Start saying "I'm an insider". Stop saying you feel like an alien communicating with people. Start saying "People get me." You have to fake it til you make it. Most people feel awkward at times. That's ok. You might feel awkward ALL the time. That's ok too. Push through it. The more you tell yourself that you are unable to connect to people, the more you reinforce that belief.

Use positive "I am" statements to reinforce the OPPOSITE belief. How does the opposite belief feel? How does it feel when you say aloud "I am a confident and intelligent person, and people respect and connect with me."? Or "People get me and I get them." Start saying that shit OUT LOUD constantly. It takes a while to form a habit. You will feel silly at first. Keep doing it. You can reverse your limiting beliefs. That's the power of the mind.

Hope this helps.


--------------------
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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21742693 - 05/30/15 09:02 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Having a significant other is likely one of the best experiences a person can experience. At least in my opinion.

The relationship likely wont be perfect, but the good times are incredible, the best, a feeling you would not trade for anything.

I used to be alone, VERY alone, and it was horrible. Very saddening and feelings of hopelessness and unworth. Its horrible. Ive hit rock bottom having no special someone to share life with.

Then I met my current girlfriend, and its changed my life so much. Sure, we fight and disagree, but the good times are nothing short of magical.

SleepyE, ever had a psychedelic trip that felt so profound, so magical, so mystical, that it felt bigger than life itself? Thats kinda like how it is to find someone you love. The feeling can transcend almost anything.

My advice for finding that special someone? Keep looking without being too desperate. They might just find you, but you have to put yourself out in public to find someone. Keep trying, dont give up until you find that special person who makes life extra special and meaningful.

Then once you find this special person, smoke DMT with them and become one with the Hyper-Universe within us all.


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

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OfflinePDU
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 2
    #21744063 - 05/31/15 07:34 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

IMO - it's not that great. Total life of sacrifice, share the sheets, share the bed, share the food, share YOUR TIME. You start thinking as a unit rather as an autonomous thing and putting the units priorities ahead of your own.

It's fun at first, sex and flirting and cuddling and whatever. Sharing responsibilities can be effective and nice. However, it's a unique couple who can remain autonomous and act in their own best interests and in the best interests of the couple - although this is becoming more of the norm, i personally don't see it very much. Usually relationships breed codependence, neediness and resentment.

**Recently out of longterm relationship *facepalm*


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: PDU]
    #21744642 - 05/31/15 12:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

PDU said:
IMO - it's not that great. Total life of sacrifice, share the sheets, share the bed, share the food, share YOUR TIME. You start thinking as a unit rather as an autonomous thing and putting the units priorities ahead of your own.

It's fun at first, sex and flirting and cuddling and whatever. Sharing responsibilities can be effective and nice. However, it's a unique couple who can remain autonomous and act in their own best interests and in the best interests of the couple - although this is becoming more of the norm, i personally don't see it very much. Usually relationships breed codependence, neediness and resentment.

**Recently out of longterm relationship *facepalm*




how's it been for you? i'm considering leaving a 10 year long relationship. i don't think we have anything in common anymore and i'm not happy and neither is she. i'm scared to leave.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: refried]
    #21744789 - 05/31/15 01:11 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

so i went out and it was an alright night, not too many girls at the bar i went to just bands, one i found really attractive and we were making lots of eye contact but it was weird because she had a boy friend.. she was probably just being friendly, but i didnt want to bother with it.

we went to a different one with more girls but we left too soon, so i couldnt talk to anyone.

Hmm, i gotta think of places i could go to meet women.
Really feel like just going up to people and talking to them.


ive neglected this side of my needs too long and now its blowing up in my face in intense anxiety so i have to deal with it now.
Like its not even difficult for me, ive had MANY opportunities that i just didnt take advantage of, but every time i need that opening its not fucking there..! faaack!. :lol:


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Edited by SleepyE (05/31/15 01:20 PM)


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21744861 - 05/31/15 01:38 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Good job, you of course know these thing can't be rushed. When it happens it's supposed to happen. Just keep yourself open, and when the oppurtunity arises, snatch that snatch!

You're already way ahead of most guys because your willing to just go up and start talking to people.

You are still pretty young I assume, so take your time looking and please for the love of all that is holy DO NOT SETTLE!


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719] * 1
    #21745073 - 05/31/15 02:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

relationships can still be good and run their course; nothing lasts forever. even bad relationships can be instructive. if they aren't you're probably a dumbass who's going to get into one bad one after the next. i tried writing relationships off after being married and dating for a few years, then love just happened to me again. i won't offer any platitudes because being alone and lonely sucks. but from my experience it does seem to just hit you out of nowhere, regardless of how hard you're looking. op just be yourself, make yourself happy, and hopefully the rest will follow someday for you.


--------------------
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719] * 1
    #21745087 - 05/31/15 03:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

yeah i definitely will, i always find it odd that intense isolation really warps my self image.

when someone looks at me they are dumbfounded that i havent been in a relationship. most refuse to believe it :lol: i seriously do not look like someone who has this problem, or come off as it.

I actually really love my mind and physical aesthetics and certainly some appreciate it too.

a while ago i met this insanely hot girl(like a 10, seriously gorgeous, a fucking master piece)because my friend introduced me to her and she was really digging me because we had a lot of intelligent conversation and she kept complimenting me saying i remind her of her sisters intelligence, and she said she wasnt as smart as her but i told her she is definitely intelligent as fuck because i was interested in the conversations we were having. Unfortunately she had to leave in a rush and i was too stupid to close the deal.

its weird, when i dont go out for a while my mind warps my self image to make me feel like a loser when everything about me says otherwise lol.

the mind in isolation is a seriously powerful in deluding your healthy self image.


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Edited by SleepyE (05/31/15 03:09 PM)


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: millzy]
    #21745090 - 05/31/15 03:02 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

millzy said:
but from my experience it does seem to just hit you out of nowhere, regardless of how hard you're looking. op just be yourself, make yourself happy, and hopefully the rest will follow someday for you.



thank you


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21745154 - 05/31/15 03:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
Unfortunately she had to leave in a rush and i was too stupid to close the deal.




More negative self-talk dude. You weren't too stupid to do anything. For one, I suggest you stop beating yourself up over all of these interactions or missed opportunities. There is always tomorrow. Also, I don't like the language "close the deal" because it makes it sound like a transaction, like you have to make her laugh X number of times and then she will sleep with you. That's not how it works either.

Just enjoy the conversations you have, and do what you can to continue the conversation. Get her phone number or email or facebook (ask her which would be the best way to stay in touch). And then TALK TO HER via those mediums. Sometimes if you seem in too much of a hurry to see her again without continuing the conversation, she might think you are just trying to get into her pants. If she really likes you, she might even be the one to suggest you meet up again. But I would just get the conversation going for a while before worrying about that. Conversation is key.

Cheers.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: ikku]
    #21745171 - 05/31/15 03:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

yeah i should have rephrased that, thanks for the correction :smile:

i guess the point is that i just have to have more opportunities to get out in the open socializing and make it a focus to find someone who i will be interested in and vice versa

i shouldnt let my isolation warp my self image


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745251 - 05/31/15 03:45 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You're trying to hard and overthinking everything. Once I stopped giving a fuck is when I started pulling ass. I'm not saying be a dick or overtly rude, but if you're as good looking and smart as you're claiming, you really shouldn't be having this issue. Good luck man.


--------------------
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I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: refried]
    #21745422 - 05/31/15 04:31 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

refried said:
Quote:

PDU said:
IMO - it's not that great. Total life of sacrifice, share the sheets, share the bed, share the food, share YOUR TIME. You start thinking as a unit rather as an autonomous thing and putting the units priorities ahead of your own.

It's fun at first, sex and flirting and cuddling and whatever. Sharing responsibilities can be effective and nice. However, it's a unique couple who can remain autonomous and act in their own best interests and in the best interests of the couple - although this is becoming more of the norm, i personally don't see it very much. Usually relationships breed codependence, neediness and resentment.

**Recently out of longterm relationship *facepalm*




how's it been for you? i'm considering leaving a 10 year long relationship. i don't think we have anything in common anymore and i'm not happy and neither is she. i'm scared to leave.





Its fucking amazing - Best thing i've ever done - I've never been happier. Everyday is filled with optimism and I am LOADS more productive and collected, I sleep great and have no stress. The polarity between how i felt in an unhappy relationship and how i feel now is night and day. No middle ground - absolutely life changing!

The relationship was stagnant for years - I don't wtf I was thinking to stay because it was "safe" or because i felt some sort of obligation to her or most of all, because it was CONVENIENT!

I feel like i've rediscovered myself, my interests and my confidence. (although really, i mostly spend alot of time alone and working out - no real social revelations or anything....)

It made me realize that I am fantastically happy inside, with who I am and my partner kept me from experiencing it. (although it was never her intention, I came to loathe the relationship and it was clear early on that we were fundamentally incompatible in some ways despite being very compatible in many others.)


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745498 - 05/31/15 04:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I know from expreience that isolation can play bad tricks on your mind. You feel trapped, worthless, depressed, etc. Its  why they put the worst criminals into "isolation", because it so degrading on the mind.

One thing that can help is meeting a guy, who has similar interests, to be your friend. This will help with the loneliness.

The next step is once u become comfortable with your friend, you and him can go together to bars/concerts/festivals/social gatherings and it makes interacting and making moves on girls a lot easier!

In the past, ive had this friend relationship and going out made me a lot more confident then if by myself. You push each other to take risks like taking to a stranger.

Ive also noticed from my own experience, that not trying to pick up woman helps too. I met my current longterm girlfriend by going out to a dance party band at a bar and dancing. I did not care to try to seduce a woman, i just enjoy dancing. Some women sense that, aand find it attractive. Just be ready when a woman wants to dance or talk, or else u wont make any progrss.

Hope that helps. Keep trying!


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Invisiblerefried

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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: PDU]
    #21745560 - 05/31/15 05:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

PDU said:
Quote:

refried said:
Quote:

PDU said:
IMO - it's not that great. Total life of sacrifice, share the sheets, share the bed, share the food, share YOUR TIME. You start thinking as a unit rather as an autonomous thing and putting the units priorities ahead of your own.

It's fun at first, sex and flirting and cuddling and whatever. Sharing responsibilities can be effective and nice. However, it's a unique couple who can remain autonomous and act in their own best interests and in the best interests of the couple - although this is becoming more of the norm, i personally don't see it very much. Usually relationships breed codependence, neediness and resentment.

**Recently out of longterm relationship *facepalm*




how's it been for you? i'm considering leaving a 10 year long relationship. i don't think we have anything in common anymore and i'm not happy and neither is she. i'm scared to leave.





Its fucking amazing - Best thing i've ever done - I've never been happier. Everyday is filled with optimism and I am LOADS more productive and collected, I sleep great and have no stress. The polarity between how i felt in an unhappy relationship and how i feel now is night and day. No middle ground - absolutely life changing!

The relationship was stagnant for years - I don't wtf I was thinking to stay because it was "safe" or because i felt some sort of obligation to her or most of all, because it was CONVENIENT!

I feel like i've rediscovered myself, my interests and my confidence. (although really, i mostly spend alot of time alone and working out - no real social revelations or anything....)

It made me realize that I am fantastically happy inside, with who I am and my partner kept me from experiencing it. (although it was never her intention, I came to loathe the relationship and it was clear early on that we were fundamentally incompatible in some ways despite being very compatible in many others.)





Good for you!  And thanks, man.  I'll figure this one out probably by the end of the summer.  10 years in my relationship.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21745635 - 05/31/15 05:42 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
You're trying to hard and overthinking everything. Once I stopped giving a fuck is when I started pulling ass. I'm not saying be a dick or overtly rude, but if you're as good looking and smart as you're claiming, you really shouldn't be having this issue. Good luck man.



who knows maybe your right.

i dunno, i like how i look though, but maybe my taste is unique :shrug:


these were taken around 3 months ago.




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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745667 - 05/31/15 05:53 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

The Pajama pants in public isn't helping you pull women.


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21745673 - 05/31/15 05:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

lol was at the gym, i just wear whatever there :S

the top picture is what i would look like going out;


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Edited by SleepyE (05/31/15 06:14 PM)


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OfflinePDU
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745704 - 05/31/15 06:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You are good looking - no worries there.

Meeting people is very hard and is something i struggle with aswell.

As long as you have hobbies, a healthy lifestyle and are able to hold a conversation someone worth having will find interest in you - there is no doubt about it. The trick is facilitating crossing paths.

In the past i've pretty timid (VERY timid actually) when getting involved/flirting/meeting girls and have always let them initiate. This time around I am more conscious of the patterns of the past and am going to try and be more upfront/confident with whoever strikes my interest next. It can be hard trying to interpret what exactly is going on if both parties are being reserved....

Have you considered internet dating?


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: PDU]
    #21745712 - 05/31/15 06:12 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

nah, i dont really need internet dating, as long as i have availablility i can go out with my friends to bars and clubs and stuff, i do meet and flirt with women when im actually given the opportunity. its just back then i wasnt in a crisis so it wasnt vital that i hook up with someone, whenever im in that state of mind i seem to have opportunities like crazy.

its only when i feel lonely and in need that i cant find shit.

the irony of this situation is maddening.

i suppose i wasnt ready to take on that responsibility but i feel like i just want to introduce that, it would inspire me more to push myself to higher levels, I really want to have someone i can make proud. :smile:


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745714 - 05/31/15 06:13 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Just start pulling out your dick in public, chicks dig that.

:trollhide:


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21745723 - 05/31/15 06:15 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Psychonautica said:
Just start pulling out your dick in public, chicks dig that.

:trollhide:



lol nah probably not a good idea.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745732 - 05/31/15 06:19 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

i have plenty of hobbies too, trying to perfect my piano playing. challenging myself by playing the hardest piece i could find that was famous which is liszt La Campanella, and im working on my visionary art again, gonna try to get as professional as i can in both my hobbies, unfortunately i have to juggle this with somehow going to college in september for electronics engineering technologist program.

i guess i feel like if i go to school i wont be able to maintain the things that give me confidence like workout and doing my arts. I just dont want to crash and burn because im unstable due to loneliness.


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Edited by SleepyE (05/31/15 06:22 PM)


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745738 - 05/31/15 06:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

to keep myself busy ive been playing piano for hours and drawing/painting for hours and just going to the gym, i just wish i had some company but its tough getting to see new people, i wish everday was a friday night because i need that atm


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745741 - 05/31/15 06:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Just practice your one liners and jokes and tell them to random females.

If you can make them laugh, you're in.

That's my actual method.

but seriously, just whip out your penis, haven't you ever seen porn?


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
Sheekle said:
yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica


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OfflineA grain of sand
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21745787 - 05/31/15 06:39 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I feel you dude many people do take for granted their ability to connect with others. i  know it is hard living an isolated life, i have a lot of trouble connecting as well. What you gotta overcome dude,, and hear me out on this,, you have to stop those self restraining beliefs. the ones that make you feel like there is no possible way to relate to someone. Ive found that letting someone else guide the interaction by feeding off of their energys allows you to let go of those beliefs easier. It is scary the first few times because youre not used to any sort of intimacy but fear is a sign that great change is going to occur, don't let the fear kill you.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: A grain of sand]
    #21745805 - 05/31/15 06:46 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

School does interfere with hobbies. I can manage to workout (until finals) and thats about it. Some people have better time management (or learn easier) than me.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: A grain of sand]
    #21745816 - 05/31/15 06:50 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

some people try to connect with me but i feel like i have trouble holding attention to them.

But i know that if i just focus and really pay attention to it i can make it more lasting and meaningful/


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21745888 - 05/31/15 07:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Psychonautica said:
The Pajama pants in public isn't helping you pull women.



:burke:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21745914 - 05/31/15 07:14 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:

Psychonautica said:
The Pajama pants in public isn't helping you pull women.



:burke:



I wear sweats and PJ's practically everywhere I go just sayin


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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InvisiblePsychonautica
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21745919 - 05/31/15 07:15 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You must be beating the bitches off with a stick, huh?


--------------------
The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one
3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother.
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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Psychonautica]
    #21745982 - 05/31/15 07:35 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

nah but if you lift you dont give a shit cuz youre automatically boss. :yesnod:


--------------------
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Edited by SleepyE (05/31/15 07:36 PM)


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21745988 - 05/31/15 07:36 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
nah but if you lift you dont give a shit cuz youre automatically boss. :yesnod:



QFT


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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OfflineA grain of sand
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21751952 - 06/02/15 09:48 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

yea i wear sweat pants and gym shorts everyday and women love me, just gotta show some swag and confidence in your movements


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: A grain of sand]
    #21752303 - 06/02/15 11:23 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

A grain of sand said:
yea i wear sweat pants and gym shorts everyday and women love me, just gotta show some swag and confidence in your movements



Women love you? Yea women love shitty rappers who can't take criticism...


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


Edited by Supachopped719 (06/02/15 11:23 AM)


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21752315 - 06/02/15 11:26 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

At least he has swag bro.  What you workin' with?


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21752323 - 06/02/15 11:28 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I don't smoke swag. Only the bombest of the bomb.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: A grain of sand]
    #21752339 - 06/02/15 11:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

A grain of sand said:
yea i wear sweat pants and gym shorts everyday and women love me, just gotta show some swag and confidence in your movements



Hey remember when you melted in your thread when people started criticizing your rap song?yeah me too. Good times... gooood times..


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21752360 - 06/02/15 11:39 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

link?


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21752383 - 06/02/15 11:45 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)



--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: A grain of sand]
    #21752410 - 06/02/15 11:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

A grain of sand said:
yea i wear sweat pants and gym shorts everyday and women love me, just gotta show some swag and confidence in your movements





Yeah his rap is trash


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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Offlinetwelvelookslikeu
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21752571 - 06/02/15 12:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

You should start doing more of your art and put it in an art show. I never been to one but I'm sure there are wemon there. Show off your talent man


--------------------


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: twelvelookslikeu]
    #21752786 - 06/02/15 01:19 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

twelvelookslikeu said:
You should start doing more of your art and put it in an art show. I never been to one but I'm sure there are wemon there. Show off your talent man



He should bring it to festivals.  That'll get ladies talking to him.


--------------------
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Offlinetwelvelookslikeu
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: TheMovement]
    #21752829 - 06/02/15 01:31 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

:whathesaid::solidnod:


--------------------


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: twelvelookslikeu]
    #21752889 - 06/02/15 01:46 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

aha thanks you guys!

Im feeling alot better about myself, honestly isolation really just fucks with my perception.

Just went to the Drive Test center to get a stand by appointment to get my g2, and i had a few women my age smile at me. Unfortunately i didnt say hello, kinda awkward to do that on my own.

Honestly im so fucking grateful that i look better than a lot of dudes because i would literally have no chance with my shyness. lol.

I really want to be in a social environment so i can mingle with some women, Holy fuck it completely cures your insecurities when you do that.
i just neglected it and now it fucks with my head. aha


and yeah my art helps definitely, if they are artistic types. i mean my friends really like my work so i guess its a good conversation piece if anything :shrug:


--------------------
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Draw DMT!

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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21752928 - 06/02/15 01:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Glad to hear you are feeling better.  I think buying a festival ticket, setting up shop near the stage and starting to paint would get a lot of people talking to you.  Give you some more experience making conversation with strangers.  Might even get you some Ass!


--------------------
Utwiddle.net

In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one.

BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT

Join the Anarchy Camp!  Down with Oppression!!


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: TheMovement]
    #21752946 - 06/02/15 02:02 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

in retrospect i really have no issues getting "ass" if im actually "out there"

problem is im never "out there" but holy fuck i want to be, i just wish this summer was a bit more livee.

thats a good idea, i might actually do that, im still working on my art, its pretty much in its infancy, just trying to develop better technical skills before i make anything serious.

that painting is my first painting so im kind new at working with colour


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


Edited by SleepyE (06/02/15 02:03 PM)


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21752955 - 06/02/15 02:04 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

What's stopping you from getting out there?


--------------------
Utwiddle.net

In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one.

BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT

Join the Anarchy Camp!  Down with Oppression!!


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: TheMovement]
    #21752963 - 06/02/15 02:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

just work and bad luck really,

ill have times of my life where its really live and then it goes dead for a really long time, and when it goes dead i get into isolation and then it fucks with my self esteeem.


--------------------
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Draw DMT!

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Edited by SleepyE (06/02/15 02:06 PM)


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Offlineikku
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: A grain of sand] * 2
    #21758317 - 06/03/15 05:35 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Dude your art is legit as fuck! And you already said chicks smile at you. GET IN THE LIMELIGHT DUDE. I think all of my art is TERRIBLE (definitely way way worse than yours, that's why I don't even post it up) so I know you're gonna have confidence issues. Even the best artists in the world only see the flaws and mistakes in their work, while other people love it.

Don't hesitate on this man. Even if you feel that you have room to improve (there is ALWAYS room to improve), the fact that you are doing it (and doing it well I might add) and willing to put yourself on display will be a major attractor. Seriously.

Quote:

A grain of sand said:
yea i wear sweat pants and gym shorts everyday and women love me, just gotta show some swag and confidence in your movements



LOL don't do this if you're over 20 years old. No amount of swag and confidence overcomes the message that this laziness sends. If you're at home or at the gym or doing something active, then yeah, but otherwise, just no. There's a difference between casual and lazy.


--------------------
Thanks shroomery!


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: ikku]
    #21758420 - 06/03/15 05:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

thank you, great advice, i really appreciate it dude :hug:


--------------------
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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #21758649 - 06/03/15 06:47 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

I_was_the_walrus said:
The grass is always greener on the other side. Long story short; dont take what you have for granted. Some people would kill for your lifestyle.

If you dont like where youre at...why not try to change it? Change jobs, move, go to school, hit the road...the list goes on. Youre in the cockpit, buddy. Take control.




--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #21758706 - 06/03/15 07:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Sleepy get a wicked face tattoo. Bitches love that shit.

But seriously, you are in your early 20s right? You got plenty of time bud.
Show off your art and share some shrooms and DMT. The ladies will be all over you.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21758738 - 06/03/15 07:12 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

lol :blush:


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: ikku]
    #21758797 - 06/03/15 07:31 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

ikku said:
Quote:

A grain of sand said:
yea i wear sweat pants and gym shorts everyday and women love me, just gotta show some swag and confidence in your movements



LOL don't do this if you're over 20 years old. No amount of swag and confidence overcomes the message that this laziness sends. If you're at home or at the gym or doing something active, then yeah, but otherwise, just no. There's a difference between casual and lazy.



Sweatpants are comfy as fuck d00d

I don't see anything lazy about wearing clothes that feel good


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
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"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Sheekle]
    #21759552 - 06/03/15 10:28 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Because your a guy sheekle.

Women think different, they want a guy who looks put together, cause even if they don't know it, they are scoping out a long term alpha male to take care of them. So if you look put together, they will think your life is put together, and that you are stable. If you walk around looking like a bum they will think you are a bum.

Walk around in PJs or sweats all day, and the next day walk around in a suit and tie with your hair done all nice and see how everyone, not just women, treat you differently.

As a species we do judge a book by it's cover.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21772603 - 06/07/15 12:55 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

mann i went out tonight and had a decent time, talked to this cute girl after i made eye contact with her, she said i looked like someone she knows, unfortunately i let the conversation drop and ran out of things to say, holy fuck i hate when i let that happen. also it turns out her boyfriend was standing right next to her :lol:...

second girl i tired talking to told me her name and just walked away, W/e i think she wasnt single either.

LAST girl i met a few months before at a friends house and although she didnt recognize me at first she then said OH YAH i remember, she taught me a liquiding/orbing technique,(rave finger dance)

made a lot of touch rapport building while we chatted and she was showing off her dyed hair to me, i took off her hat so she could show me and we were talking REALLY close to each other cuz it was loud, bah fuck i was horny at this point :lol:

then we played pool for a bit and she kicked my ass.

unfortunately after this her friend comes down crying because apparently she got maced by her boyfriend and he maced himself too or some shit and there was a fight so she just ran in the washroom with her, came out, we talked for a bit about what happened to her friend and then she went back in for a while and my ride was leaving so i had to go.


thats shitty, it was going well too, :crazy:, i have to work on not letting the rejections effect me, my buddy said its a little easier once it happens more often, and i should go and pick up the phone and sell stuff number to number to get used to rejection.

Its funny he just sat next to some pretty coked out girl and about a minute later started making out with her.

the kind of shit he does can either go really well or really horribly bad, it gets results but its kinda dangerous lol. But he is definitely more skilled in this art then me. I really want to get better, shits actually really fucking fun.

:smile:


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

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Edited by SleepyE (06/07/15 01:20 AM)


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21773312 - 06/07/15 09:30 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

holy fuck guys im so stoked, i showed my artwork to dmtnexus.me and the mods are thinking about adding a section for my in their main art subsection, This is like a dream of mine, id be joining some of the ultra badasses like salviadroid, Just need to finish some of them !!!


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] * 1
    #21773639 - 06/07/15 11:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago)

Dude nice! You're definitely a talented artist. Keep it up! I can't draw for shit :lol:

I'd give up my ability to do math to be artistic any day of the week


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21774449 - 06/07/15 02:42 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

ahha thanks bro :hug:


--------------------
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Draw DMT!

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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
    #21774571 - 06/07/15 03:11 PM (8 years, 7 months ago)

I've been missing my ex a lot recently..

But I think I found a new girl :smile:

Anyway, girls are trouble.


--------------------
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