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MajickMuffin
Edible Cult


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 4,345
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: larry.fisherman]
#21742426 - 05/30/15 07:56 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
XLCaps said: That's not that weird Pat. To a lot of guys, getting girls is a young man's game. I couldn't count how many guys I know who have been there, done that, and aren't looking back. I love my girlfriend and plan on spending the rest of my life with her, more than happily. That being said though, if the unthinkable were to happen and it ended, I probably wouldn't actively look for a relationship again.
Thats what happened to me. And now its been 4 years since ive even as much as talked to a female and i just now am begining to see that i need it.i kinda of was just like, okay, if someone happens to cross paths with me and it goes well then ill go from there thats cool, but its not really possible in isolation from society.Even though im real close/in town, i live and work at my property so i never get any chance.
Its begining tk become what id like toccall, fucking retarded.
Edited by MajickMuffin (05/30/15 07:57 PM)
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ikku
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: MajickMuffin] 2
#21742508 - 05/30/15 08:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
I have complex issues that really make that unlikely for me.
Im an outsider, i feel like an alien when communicating with people.
Maybe i just need to teach my mind and body to be okay with living alone. But from whats going on with me it seems this is psychological handicap. Maybe its just all in my mind.
Hey man,
Just thought I'd throw in some suggestions for you personally...I haven't read the full thread, I am just replying to the above post.
You should stop thinking those thoughts in that quote. Immediately. Do you want to think those thoughts? How do those thoughts make you feel? Those thoughts are limiting beliefs and the sooner you reverse them, the sooner you will find joy in your life.
Stop saying you're an outsider. Start saying "I'm an insider". Stop saying you feel like an alien communicating with people. Start saying "People get me." You have to fake it til you make it. Most people feel awkward at times. That's ok. You might feel awkward ALL the time. That's ok too. Push through it. The more you tell yourself that you are unable to connect to people, the more you reinforce that belief.
Use positive "I am" statements to reinforce the OPPOSITE belief. How does the opposite belief feel? How does it feel when you say aloud "I am a confident and intelligent person, and people respect and connect with me."? Or "People get me and I get them." Start saying that shit OUT LOUD constantly. It takes a while to form a habit. You will feel silly at first. Keep doing it. You can reverse your limiting beliefs. That's the power of the mind.
Hope this helps.
-------------------- Thanks shroomery!
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] 1
#21742693 - 05/30/15 09:02 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Having a significant other is likely one of the best experiences a person can experience. At least in my opinion.
The relationship likely wont be perfect, but the good times are incredible, the best, a feeling you would not trade for anything.
I used to be alone, VERY alone, and it was horrible. Very saddening and feelings of hopelessness and unworth. Its horrible. Ive hit rock bottom having no special someone to share life with.
Then I met my current girlfriend, and its changed my life so much. Sure, we fight and disagree, but the good times are nothing short of magical.
SleepyE, ever had a psychedelic trip that felt so profound, so magical, so mystical, that it felt bigger than life itself? Thats kinda like how it is to find someone you love. The feeling can transcend almost anything.
My advice for finding that special someone? Keep looking without being too desperate. They might just find you, but you have to put yourself out in public to find someone. Keep trying, dont give up until you find that special person who makes life extra special and meaningful.
Then once you find this special person, smoke DMT with them and become one with the Hyper-Universe within us all.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
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PDU
travel kid vs.amerika



Registered: 12/03/02
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] 2
#21744063 - 05/31/15 07:34 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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IMO - it's not that great. Total life of sacrifice, share the sheets, share the bed, share the food, share YOUR TIME. You start thinking as a unit rather as an autonomous thing and putting the units priorities ahead of your own.
It's fun at first, sex and flirting and cuddling and whatever. Sharing responsibilities can be effective and nice. However, it's a unique couple who can remain autonomous and act in their own best interests and in the best interests of the couple - although this is becoming more of the norm, i personally don't see it very much. Usually relationships breed codependence, neediness and resentment.
**Recently out of longterm relationship *facepalm*
-------------------- GO OUTSIDE.
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refried

Registered: 06/14/13
Posts: 3,675
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: PDU]
#21744642 - 05/31/15 12:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
PDU said: IMO - it's not that great. Total life of sacrifice, share the sheets, share the bed, share the food, share YOUR TIME. You start thinking as a unit rather as an autonomous thing and putting the units priorities ahead of your own.
It's fun at first, sex and flirting and cuddling and whatever. Sharing responsibilities can be effective and nice. However, it's a unique couple who can remain autonomous and act in their own best interests and in the best interests of the couple - although this is becoming more of the norm, i personally don't see it very much. Usually relationships breed codependence, neediness and resentment.
**Recently out of longterm relationship *facepalm*
how's it been for you? i'm considering leaving a 10 year long relationship. i don't think we have anything in common anymore and i'm not happy and neither is she. i'm scared to leave.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: refried]
#21744789 - 05/31/15 01:11 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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so i went out and it was an alright night, not too many girls at the bar i went to just bands, one i found really attractive and we were making lots of eye contact but it was weird because she had a boy friend.. she was probably just being friendly, but i didnt want to bother with it.
we went to a different one with more girls but we left too soon, so i couldnt talk to anyone.
Hmm, i gotta think of places i could go to meet women. Really feel like just going up to people and talking to them.
ive neglected this side of my needs too long and now its blowing up in my face in intense anxiety so i have to deal with it now. Like its not even difficult for me, ive had MANY opportunities that i just didnt take advantage of, but every time i need that opening its not fucking there..! faaack!.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
Edited by SleepyE (05/31/15 01:20 PM)
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Supachopped719
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
#21744861 - 05/31/15 01:38 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good job, you of course know these thing can't be rushed. When it happens it's supposed to happen. Just keep yourself open, and when the oppurtunity arises, snatch that snatch!
You're already way ahead of most guys because your willing to just go up and start talking to people.
You are still pretty young I assume, so take your time looking and please for the love of all that is holy DO NOT SETTLE!
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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millzy


Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,404
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719] 1
#21745073 - 05/31/15 02:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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relationships can still be good and run their course; nothing lasts forever. even bad relationships can be instructive. if they aren't you're probably a dumbass who's going to get into one bad one after the next. i tried writing relationships off after being married and dating for a few years, then love just happened to me again. i won't offer any platitudes because being alone and lonely sucks. but from my experience it does seem to just hit you out of nowhere, regardless of how hard you're looking. op just be yourself, make yourself happy, and hopefully the rest will follow someday for you.
-------------------- I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719] 1
#21745087 - 05/31/15 03:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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yeah i definitely will, i always find it odd that intense isolation really warps my self image.
when someone looks at me they are dumbfounded that i havent been in a relationship. most refuse to believe it i seriously do not look like someone who has this problem, or come off as it.
I actually really love my mind and physical aesthetics and certainly some appreciate it too.
a while ago i met this insanely hot girl(like a 10, seriously gorgeous, a fucking master piece)because my friend introduced me to her and she was really digging me because we had a lot of intelligent conversation and she kept complimenting me saying i remind her of her sisters intelligence, and she said she wasnt as smart as her but i told her she is definitely intelligent as fuck because i was interested in the conversations we were having. Unfortunately she had to leave in a rush and i was too stupid to close the deal.
its weird, when i dont go out for a while my mind warps my self image to make me feel like a loser when everything about me says otherwise lol.
the mind in isolation is a seriously powerful in deluding your healthy self image.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
Edited by SleepyE (05/31/15 03:09 PM)
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: millzy]
#21745090 - 05/31/15 03:02 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
millzy said: but from my experience it does seem to just hit you out of nowhere, regardless of how hard you're looking. op just be yourself, make yourself happy, and hopefully the rest will follow someday for you.
thank you
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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ikku
Stranger

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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] 1
#21745154 - 05/31/15 03:21 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
SleepyE said: Unfortunately she had to leave in a rush and i was too stupid to close the deal.
More negative self-talk dude. You weren't too stupid to do anything. For one, I suggest you stop beating yourself up over all of these interactions or missed opportunities. There is always tomorrow. Also, I don't like the language "close the deal" because it makes it sound like a transaction, like you have to make her laugh X number of times and then she will sleep with you. That's not how it works either.
Just enjoy the conversations you have, and do what you can to continue the conversation. Get her phone number or email or facebook (ask her which would be the best way to stay in touch). And then TALK TO HER via those mediums. Sometimes if you seem in too much of a hurry to see her again without continuing the conversation, she might think you are just trying to get into her pants. If she really likes you, she might even be the one to suggest you meet up again. But I would just get the conversation going for a while before worrying about that. Conversation is key.
Cheers.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: ikku]
#21745171 - 05/31/15 03:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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yeah i should have rephrased that, thanks for the correction 
i guess the point is that i just have to have more opportunities to get out in the open socializing and make it a focus to find someone who i will be interested in and vice versa
i shouldnt let my isolation warp my self image
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
#21745251 - 05/31/15 03:45 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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You're trying to hard and overthinking everything. Once I stopped giving a fuck is when I started pulling ass. I'm not saying be a dick or overtly rude, but if you're as good looking and smart as you're claiming, you really shouldn't be having this issue. Good luck man.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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PDU
travel kid vs.amerika



Registered: 12/03/02
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: refried]
#21745422 - 05/31/15 04:31 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
refried said:
Quote:
PDU said: IMO - it's not that great. Total life of sacrifice, share the sheets, share the bed, share the food, share YOUR TIME. You start thinking as a unit rather as an autonomous thing and putting the units priorities ahead of your own.
It's fun at first, sex and flirting and cuddling and whatever. Sharing responsibilities can be effective and nice. However, it's a unique couple who can remain autonomous and act in their own best interests and in the best interests of the couple - although this is becoming more of the norm, i personally don't see it very much. Usually relationships breed codependence, neediness and resentment.
**Recently out of longterm relationship *facepalm*
how's it been for you? i'm considering leaving a 10 year long relationship. i don't think we have anything in common anymore and i'm not happy and neither is she. i'm scared to leave.
Its fucking amazing - Best thing i've ever done - I've never been happier. Everyday is filled with optimism and I am LOADS more productive and collected, I sleep great and have no stress. The polarity between how i felt in an unhappy relationship and how i feel now is night and day. No middle ground - absolutely life changing!
The relationship was stagnant for years - I don't wtf I was thinking to stay because it was "safe" or because i felt some sort of obligation to her or most of all, because it was CONVENIENT!
I feel like i've rediscovered myself, my interests and my confidence. (although really, i mostly spend alot of time alone and working out - no real social revelations or anything....)
It made me realize that I am fantastically happy inside, with who I am and my partner kept me from experiencing it. (although it was never her intention, I came to loathe the relationship and it was clear early on that we were fundamentally incompatible in some ways despite being very compatible in many others.)
-------------------- GO OUTSIDE.
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
#21745498 - 05/31/15 04:55 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I know from expreience that isolation can play bad tricks on your mind. You feel trapped, worthless, depressed, etc. Its why they put the worst criminals into "isolation", because it so degrading on the mind.
One thing that can help is meeting a guy, who has similar interests, to be your friend. This will help with the loneliness.
The next step is once u become comfortable with your friend, you and him can go together to bars/concerts/festivals/social gatherings and it makes interacting and making moves on girls a lot easier!
In the past, ive had this friend relationship and going out made me a lot more confident then if by myself. You push each other to take risks like taking to a stranger.
Ive also noticed from my own experience, that not trying to pick up woman helps too. I met my current longterm girlfriend by going out to a dance party band at a bar and dancing. I did not care to try to seduce a woman, i just enjoy dancing. Some women sense that, aand find it attractive. Just be ready when a woman wants to dance or talk, or else u wont make any progrss.
Hope that helps. Keep trying!
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refried

Registered: 06/14/13
Posts: 3,675
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: PDU]
#21745560 - 05/31/15 05:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
PDU said:
Quote:
refried said:
Quote:
PDU said: IMO - it's not that great. Total life of sacrifice, share the sheets, share the bed, share the food, share YOUR TIME. You start thinking as a unit rather as an autonomous thing and putting the units priorities ahead of your own.
It's fun at first, sex and flirting and cuddling and whatever. Sharing responsibilities can be effective and nice. However, it's a unique couple who can remain autonomous and act in their own best interests and in the best interests of the couple - although this is becoming more of the norm, i personally don't see it very much. Usually relationships breed codependence, neediness and resentment.
**Recently out of longterm relationship *facepalm*
how's it been for you? i'm considering leaving a 10 year long relationship. i don't think we have anything in common anymore and i'm not happy and neither is she. i'm scared to leave.
Its fucking amazing - Best thing i've ever done - I've never been happier. Everyday is filled with optimism and I am LOADS more productive and collected, I sleep great and have no stress. The polarity between how i felt in an unhappy relationship and how i feel now is night and day. No middle ground - absolutely life changing!
The relationship was stagnant for years - I don't wtf I was thinking to stay because it was "safe" or because i felt some sort of obligation to her or most of all, because it was CONVENIENT!
I feel like i've rediscovered myself, my interests and my confidence. (although really, i mostly spend alot of time alone and working out - no real social revelations or anything....)
It made me realize that I am fantastically happy inside, with who I am and my partner kept me from experiencing it. (although it was never her intention, I came to loathe the relationship and it was clear early on that we were fundamentally incompatible in some ways despite being very compatible in many others.)
Good for you! And thanks, man. I'll figure this one out probably by the end of the summer. 10 years in my relationship.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21745635 - 05/31/15 05:42 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Malcolm_Xtasy said: You're trying to hard and overthinking everything. Once I stopped giving a fuck is when I started pulling ass. I'm not saying be a dick or overtly rude, but if you're as good looking and smart as you're claiming, you really shouldn't be having this issue. Good luck man.
who knows maybe your right.
i dunno, i like how i look though, but maybe my taste is unique 
these were taken around 3 months ago.

-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
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Psychonautica
Cuddly Wuddly Fuccboi


Registered: 04/20/15
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
#21745667 - 05/31/15 05:53 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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The Pajama pants in public isn't helping you pull women.
-------------------- The chances of you even being born, Were forty million to one. There's two parts of the statistic And I want you to live through one 3/8/95 - 7/10/15 Rest In Paradise, Brother. Sheekle said: yeah, i said i was afraid of psychonautica

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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Psychonautica]
#21745673 - 05/31/15 05:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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lol was at the gym, i just wear whatever there :S
the top picture is what i would look like going out;
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
Edited by SleepyE (05/31/15 06:14 PM)
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PDU
travel kid vs.amerika



Registered: 12/03/02
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
#21745704 - 05/31/15 06:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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You are good looking - no worries there.
Meeting people is very hard and is something i struggle with aswell.
As long as you have hobbies, a healthy lifestyle and are able to hold a conversation someone worth having will find interest in you - there is no doubt about it. The trick is facilitating crossing paths.
In the past i've pretty timid (VERY timid actually) when getting involved/flirting/meeting girls and have always let them initiate. This time around I am more conscious of the patterns of the past and am going to try and be more upfront/confident with whoever strikes my interest next. It can be hard trying to interpret what exactly is going on if both parties are being reserved....
Have you considered internet dating?
-------------------- GO OUTSIDE.
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