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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 1 hour, 23 minutes
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Whats it like having a significant other?
#21739062 - 05/29/15 10:42 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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This is probably my biggest dream ever, having someone to hold on to especially when you feel alone.
I think a lot people take for granted what a blessing it is to have access to something like that.
personally i have no clue what that must be like, the idea is completely alien to me. I have only ever experienced myself. I guess i must have some mental problems or something because my ability to connect with people is almost non existent so i have spent the majority of my life in isolation pretty much. Which is fine i guess, gave me time to develop hobbies and whatnot but unfortunately it becomes damaging on the mind i think after a certain point.
I feel my isolation slowly deteriorating me mentally and there is not much i can do about it (shitty work hours, very limited access to people and my friends are only available when im working) I find my completely snapping at the must minor shit, and weeping to myself multiple times a day.
Its odd, i was able to get by on this isolation when i was younger and it didnt really affect my ability to function but now its making the most mundane tasks such a burden and struggle.
I guess this i could handle but i also have a lot of traumatic memories from my psychosis that replay in my head while im at work and its just horrible.
I keep hope that the experience of not feeling alone will come into my life but i just kinda think that im not capable of obtaining and maintaining something like that partly because of the damage this intense isolation and how its pretty much made my unstable and i just dont have the energy to try to keep this shit stable anymore.
i wish i wasnt alone all the time really hurts... a lot.
like really bad.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ


Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 5,713
Loc: Nacada
Last seen: 9 months, 15 days
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
#21739093 - 05/29/15 10:49 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Undulating mix of fun and work, joy and chore. Not to say that the chores can't be joyful and that the work can't be fun but if you're going to be in someone's life you better be ready to be involved in it. In my experience, the limits of feeling peace and calm may be expanded, in that it is deeply satisfying to experience intimate company with a loved one, but the opposite can also be true.
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] 8
#21739104 - 05/29/15 10:52 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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The grass is always greener on the other side. Long story short; dont take what you have for granted. Some people would kill for your lifestyle.
If you dont like where youre at...why not try to change it? Change jobs, move, go to school, hit the road...the list goes on. Youre in the cockpit, buddy. Take control.
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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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I've been there sleepy.
It sucks when you just want someone there and there no one.
I suggest hitting up some music festivals, there's all types of people that are totally open minded about any and all lifestyles and personalities.
I met this guy who I thought was mega awkward, kicked it for a while. I was gonna introduce him to one of my lady friends at the fest because she was a little lonely in her life, she's kinda awkward too so I thought it was a good fit.
Turns out this fucking spazz has a god damn dime on his arm next time I see him. Lol they were fucking engaged!! He's a good guy, great guy, just a little odd.
Side note, my lady friend hooked up anyway, so it all worked out.
If festivals really aren't your thing, maybe look into online dating apps.
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 1 hour, 23 minutes
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I have complex issues that really make that unlikely for me.
Im an outsider, i feel like an alien when communicating with people.
Maybe i just need to teach my mind and body to be okay with living alone. But from whats going on with me it seems this is psychological handicap. Maybe its just all in my mind.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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skepitcallyturning
Stranger
Registered: 05/25/15
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] 3
#21739165 - 05/29/15 11:05 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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It's a shame you're getting 'conventional wisdom' here of tough it out/shake things up/be grateful, etc. All those things have their value, but when you are talking about something as basic as the need for companionship and intimacy, you need to take stock and take care of yourself. If you are struggling with intrusive thoughts or mood swings you should talk to a therapist you like and get along well with. They can also help you figure out how to build relationships and find more enjoyment in your life. Advice like get a new job, make friends, you're in control etc. is all good, but sometimes it is difficult to know where to start. Processing your feelings alone your whole life is an unnecessary burden. RE: the last few things you wrote. Relationships like anything else involve learning and mistakes. There's not really such a thing as incapable with things like this. You're just learning. An online dating profile might be a good place to start. This way you can pace things and be in control, and maybe make things a little less overwhelming. To actually answer your question though, it can be wonderful, and it can go terribly, like many things. But I do think it is better to have loved, regardless of loss, like that saying. And some people spend their whole lives together. It's different for everybody and timing or relationship status aren't really good markers of worth or suitability, so don't worry about it. It's normal to be hesitant about something your inexperienced with. It'll turn out okay
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 1 hour, 23 minutes
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719]
#21739172 - 05/29/15 11:06 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Supachopped719 said: I've been there sleepy.
It sucks when you just want someone there and there no one.
I suggest hitting up some music festivals, there's all types of people that are totally open minded about any and all lifestyles and personalities.
I met this guy who I thought was mega awkward, kicked it for a while. I was gonna introduce him to one of my lady friends at the fest because she was a little lonely in her life, she's kinda awkward too so I thought it was a good fit.
Turns out this fucking spazz has a god damn dime on his arm next time I see him. Lol they were fucking engaged!! He's a good guy, great guy, just a little odd.
Side note, my lady friend hooked up anyway, so it all worked out.
If festivals really aren't your thing, maybe look into online dating apps.
Not really into online dating.
if i get time i can sometimes to go raves or clubs with my friends but the opportunity to do that is rare.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 1 hour, 23 minutes
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Quote:
skepitcallyturning said: It's a shame you're getting 'conventional wisdom' here of tough it out/shake things up/be grateful, etc. All those things have their value, but when you are talking about something as basic as the need for companionship and intimacy, you need to take stock and take care of yourself. If you are struggling with intrusive thoughts or mood swings you should talk to a therapist you like and get along well with. They can also help you figure out how to build relationships and find more enjoyment in your life. Advice like get a new job, make friends, you're in control etc. is all good, but sometimes it is difficult to know where to start. Processing your feelings alone your whole life is an unnecessary burden. RE: the last few things you wrote. Relationships like anything else involve learning and mistakes. There's not really such a thing as incapable with things like this. You're just learning. An online dating profile might be a good place to start. This way you can pace things and be in control, and maybe make things a little less overwhelming. To actually answer your question though, it can be wonderful, and it can go terribly, like many things. But I do think it is better to have loved, regardless of loss, like that saying. And some people spend their whole lives together. It's different for everybody and timing or relationship status aren't really good markers of worth or suitability, so don't worry about it. It's normal to be hesitant about something your inexperienced with. It'll turn out okay 
thanks i appreciate the advice.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 3,311
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
#21739383 - 05/30/15 12:10 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Raves and clubs are not the place to find love or a serious companion. A festival bro. Plan a vacation and go to the forest and camp out for a weekend. If anything a nice vacation will be really relaxing.
Trust me there are some fucking aliens out there. And they attract other aliens. You feel alone but your not. If I remember correctly, You work out a lot and got a killer bod. You will be fine, your smart young and healthy.
Don't beat yourself up, shit happens when it happens.
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Supachopped719]
#21739426 - 05/30/15 12:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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you're in Canada OP, come to Vancouver and buy a bombshell asian hooker once a week. you don't have to go to the bar, pay for drinks and risk getting an STD. it will satisfy your sexual desires and you can move on with your life. and who knows, maybe you might even make friends with one of them.
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eira
i am excited to be here


Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 1,031
Loc: L.A.
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE]
#21739470 - 05/30/15 12:46 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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It's not a lack of an SO that's the problem. It's the environment you're in.
An SO would be a great distraction but the same old shit would still be there after the honeymoon.
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: eira]
#21739483 - 05/30/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Its really nice
ive been alone for awhile though
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        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: eira]
#21739486 - 05/30/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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i dunno, i think we all crave physical contact on some level. no matter the environment, we still wanna feel some lips and tits and dicks and vaginas. relationships on the other hand... not need IMO.
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refried

Registered: 06/14/13
Posts: 3,675
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: Hobozen]
#21739586 - 05/30/15 02:06 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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how old (about) are you?
i'd say it depends. i've always been a serial monogomist (and cheater at times). currently in 10 year relationship it can be pretty fucking stagnant after a while dude and often wonder what i'm missing. i bet my partner thinks the same. i bet my parents and grandparents felt the same.
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: refried]
#21739596 - 05/30/15 02:10 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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It's like having someone that listens to your emotional problems as long as you spend stupid amounts of money on them. Just my experience of course.
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude] 1
#21739620 - 05/30/15 02:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Aw, no doobie.
Love from a significant other is something that is indescribable, OP but I'll give you my opinions. Both the intellectual and physical affection of a true significant other is a type of contentedness that can't be achieved by being single and sleeping around.
Of course that's fun, and love may eventually come out of casual sex but until then it's just somewhat childish, a based mostly on lust.
I've been single now for over 2 years, and I've been looking, if that is even possible, for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. I can tell you without a doubt that none of the sex in these past 2+ years has been as gratifying physically or mentally as they were with my ex(es).
I might be in the minority in this way of thinking. Maybe it's because as I teeter totter on 30 my mindset has changed, I'm not quite sure. All I'm sure of is, is that love is grand.
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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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Apollyphelion
Dungeon Master/Princess(1009)


Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 16,757
Loc: Festival of Deaths
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: kr0nik0] 1
#21739708 - 05/30/15 03:33 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Never bored never lonely always high always laughing
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"I'm looking at you looking at it" SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book
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BlackWidow

Registered: 09/25/11
Posts: 2,395
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`
Edited by BlackWidow (02/03/21 03:51 PM)
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: SleepyE] 2
#21739842 - 05/30/15 05:08 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I would dig the whole getting old together thing. I see it with my dad and his second wife and its really groovy. My dad did it right too, shes 20 years younger
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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refried

Registered: 06/14/13
Posts: 3,675
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Re: Whats it like having a significant other? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#21739928 - 05/30/15 06:45 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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if i had it to do over again i'd be a fucking swinger man. life's too complex to tie yourself one other human being for the duration and there ought to be a law where you have to change it up regardless every 5 years tops. this world needs more order.
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