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404
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Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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met my dad for the first time two weeks ago 2
#21738300 - 05/29/15 07:38 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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so I drove to a neighboring state almost three weeks ago to visit family I felt I didn't have a lot of time left with and to stop by a music festival while I was there.
I stopped up at my brother's place which is a hop and a skip away from where i knew my dad lived, i had googled an address i had found when i went to visit my aunt and my sister (that i met back in 2011 as a result of social media, i was messaged randomly by my sister and i pretty much came up there that day or the next i can't remember) in early January 2012. There had been a letter addressed to my sister and the address was in a town where i knew from my older brother (whom i had also met in 2011)
anyway i told my brother i had to take care of something and left for my dad's house ( i had google earth'd his house/address beforehand)
i stopped in front of the house and double checked to make sure it was the right one, as google had goofed on the numbers of the addresses, when i saw him outside to the left of the house kind of staring at me wondering what in the world was this dude doing out front (me)
i pulled in his driveway and got out of the car with a shot of epinephrine running through my system as i was really nervous. he says, "Can I help you?" "yes, are you ___?" "yeah that's me" "Hi, I'm your son, ___"
he said he didn't really know what to say, and i didn't really either myself. we talked for a meager 15 minutes, mostly about what my academic interests were, and that i looked like him when he was a kid. i told him when i walked up that i was not there to bring up the past and that i was only there to get to know him and for him to know me. (i still want to know why he and his wife didn't tell my youngest brother that i existed until i messaged him on social media when he was 17 though, but i suppose that's their business even though it involves me).
after a while, he asked, "so how'd you find me?" i replied with a smile, "Google" (if that's not a statement of the ages we live in i don't know what is)
periods of time would go by where there was silence, short periods of course. he kept saying "it'l be alright" as he could see i was shaking a little, but we were both all smiles. after some time he had passed he asked so you're staying at ___'s house? (my oldest brother) and i said yes. he said that he needed to get some stuff done and that he might drop by later. He never did show up, but i did get to meet my youngest brother! we hung out for a while and it was cool. he still shows off body-languange and facial expressions towards me, as if he is still unsure of me. i don't quite feel fully accepted by him yet, but things are cool.
ITT: we post about times we found long lost siblings and family members
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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404]
#21738348 - 05/29/15 07:48 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I havent spoken with my dad in about 10 years 
I couldnt care less about him. He's fine, Im fine...I think its just better off that way. No need to stir shit up.
Quote:
he said that he needed to get some stuff done and that he might drop by later. He never did show up, but i did get to meet my youngest brother! we hung out for a while and it was cool. he still shows off body-languange and facial expressions towards me, as if he is still unsure of me. i don't quite feel fully accepted by him yet, but things are cool.
Well thats kind of a dick move, but hes probably a little shocked. The least he could do is come by and chat for a bit...but no call no show?
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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yeah, i'm not really worried either way. i half expected him to not show up considering how things went when i was a baby.
i missed my sister's wedding i'm finding out because he was there and i'm assuming "wasn't ready to meet me" yet or something, and to be honest i'm tired of missing out on life moments as a result of someone else not having the courage to deal with something inside and out. the move i made was for the better i think.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404] 3
#21738675 - 05/29/15 09:16 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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My dad abandoned me when I was a baby. He came back into my life when I was about 15 and "tried to be a part of it". Was a disaster. Cracked out low life piece of shit, and a little insane to boot. Claimed he was God's next great prophet and he was sent here to warn everyone of the upcoming apocalypse. Printed off like 1 or 2k sheets explaining himself and his mission and mailed them to churches all over the US. Things ended badly. I got drunk and benzo'd out a few times couple months back and tried to make him explain himself, why he let me grow up without a father. He evaded the questions and eventually turned everything around on me. That's when I'd had it. He can't even own up to it or be like "Sorry things didn't turn out the way I hoped" or anything. Just blamed me, and everyone else for his decisions. Fuck him, I'd be better off if I had never even known him at all.
That's the only long lost family I really have. My mom abandoned me too, but she came back into my life before my memory "starts". She may not have been the mother I needed/wanted, but at least she tried and didn't make up bullshit instead of admitting fault.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (05/29/15 09:16 PM)
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404] 1
#21738689 - 05/29/15 09:20 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Cool. 
My pops had a daughter with some other chick and I didn't find out until like 2 years ago I think. She's only like 10 or something. Feels weird tho..
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jboredone
Money-The root of all evil....



Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 4,783
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: Shroomslip]
#21738701 - 05/29/15 09:23 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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i have never met my father and don't really ever plan to....
-------------------- Peace Pot Micro-Dot God Loves You High or Not!!! In order to grow old and wise, you must once have been young and dumb!

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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404]
#21738711 - 05/29/15 09:25 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Sounds intriguing
also bittersweet
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: SunnyD]
#21739099 - 05/29/15 10:51 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Never met mine and dont plan to either, by all accounts Im more succesful and intelligent then him. Dont understand what I would be getting out of a "reunion". Some awkward silences and a hey how you been? My step-dad stepped in at a really young age, luckily, so I never grew up short of that father son shit anyways.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#21739147 - 05/29/15 11:01 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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dang, lotta anger for lost dads here. my adopted father was never around much, though he did provide well. i don't see much use in hating others for stuff like this, dont get me wrong though - i lose control of my temper and have plenty of my own pent up negativity from time to time, im no saint.
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404]
#21739227 - 05/29/15 11:19 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I feel sad for you guys
Good story OP. Hopefully you dont get your heart broken bro
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
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Supachopped719
Stranger


Registered: 10/16/13
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: Almond Flour]
#21739468 - 05/30/15 12:46 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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How do you know he was your dad? There were a lot of guys in line to 'see' your mom that day. Shit there was a dog in front of me.
-------------------- Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.
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Bassfreak
ManBearPig



Registered: 08/24/10
Posts: 18,014
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: Supachopped719]
#21740003 - 05/30/15 07:26 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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damn 404, well sounds like everything went pretty well for the both of you then. musta been kinds crazy
-------------------- Tom Brady is a God Free Tom Brady
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: Bassfreak]
#21740364 - 05/30/15 09:47 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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it's been one crazy month long trip, that's for sure dude. three music festivals and meeting family for the first time, NUTS
Quote:
zZZz said: Cool. 
My pops had a daughter with some other chick and I didn't find out until like 2 years ago I think. She's only like 10 or something. Feels weird tho..
Do you ever plan on meeting her?
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404]
#21740384 - 05/30/15 09:52 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I haven't spoke with my dad in shit like 6 years. Sorry you had to go through with that 404 but take it from me sometimes you're better off not having a dad.
--------------------
"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#21740450 - 05/30/15 10:12 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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don't be sorry, it's been a positive experience.
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 25 days
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404]
#21740742 - 05/30/15 11:45 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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after 8 years of not speaking to my dad, i sent him a heartfelt letter via snail mail and he never responded
after 6 years of not speaking to one of my older siblings, i discovered he lived two houses down from me and so i met up with him and we hung out. he acted all chummy like a best friend would and then he stole $60 from me
lesson learned, don't bring up people from the past. they're no more than strangers at that point and should not be trusted
they're in the past for a reason
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
Edited by Envix (05/30/15 11:50 AM)
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: Envix] 1
#21741226 - 05/30/15 02:08 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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It's kinda nice to see all the people who have such strained or non existant relationships with their families.. I sympathize, please don't take what I said the wrong way. It can just be hard to live with and not feel like you're missing out on something or like you're different/not good enough. My mom chose her new family over me and my sister over 10 years ago. I've tried to get in touch but she doesn't care, and now I don't either for the most part.
Anyway, I love you faggots.
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Lizard Eyes
Lost Soul



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 1,876
Loc: Right Where I'm supposed ...
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: larry.fisherman] 1
#21741400 - 05/30/15 03:00 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I grew up with an amazing mother and father that were strict as all hell and made me work my ass off to become the independent capable person I am today. I am grateful for my parents.
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 Every little thing is gonna be alright All you need is love Nobody's right, Nobody's wrong, Life's just a game it's just one epic holiday!
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psychodelia
Not a cop


Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 2,284
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404] 3
#21741573 - 05/30/15 03:38 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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I met my dad 4 years ago and he immediately gave me a knuckle sandwich. I replied with a scrotum slap but he won the fight ultimately, using the paternal dick punch
-------------------- don't be nervous
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: met my dad for the first time two weeks ago [Re: 404]
#21741612 - 05/30/15 03:54 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
404 said:
Do you ever plan on meeting her?
i have, she's just like an average child, we dont have much in common i guess, and she has her own family n shit too. i dont really try to get too close tho out of respect for my mother, but if she ever decides to contact me in the future or wutever she's more than welcomed to sure i mean we came out of the same balls but not the same vagina..
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