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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Quote:
XLCaps said: We're the same age Bill.
I don't know man.. being a kid sucks. Being young in general is balls. All that ambition and no experience. At 24 I have more positive outlook on my life than ever before. I'm getting paid, getting laid brah. Life is good. The sun is shining. There's always bullshit but who gives a fuck, "I'm awake."
I can't wait to watch my kids grow and see who they become. Until I can play with them.
The moment is beautiful but I can't wait for the future. Who will I be? Where will I be? They say curiosity killed the cat, well I'm one cool cat and life's got me curious. 
This describes how I feel perfectly. Im just curious to see how I turn out. But im gonna enjoy the last couple years of my youth like nobody's business.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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I wanna be that crazy old dude living on the edge of town with really tall hedges around my property and whenever the local kids play baseball and accidentally hit the ball into my yard or smash one of my windows out they take the loss and tell scary stories about how the hideous old man who lives there would remove their eyeballs and preserve them in pickle jars
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
XLCaps said: I think Bill is just down on himself because of his sub-par DMT yields.
hey watch it!
at least I am getting DMT. I don't extract it to sell, I extract it to give out and smoke from time to time so if I get 300mg off every 60g of bark, that's more than enough. That's like 6 breakthrough doses with a couple hours worth of work. More than OK for me.
im just down on myself because life is boring as fuck. although I do have a beautiful son that is turning 3 in a few months, I often worry if I have the energy to be that dad I need to be.
If life is draining for me at age 24, I can only fucking imagine what its going to be like in my 40s/50s+
I also want some damn answers. it scares me that none of the older folks can provide me the answers I must know. Forget all that wisdom crap like "appreciate every moment" and "you only live once" and all those cliché sayings you hear from the psychedelic crowd and the older religious people. I want the real answers like...what happens when I die..is there a god...who was jesus...what are the entities in the spirit realm.....ya know shit like that.
none of the answers you guys spew leaves me satisfied because you guys obviously don't know shit, like myself. The very fact that we know very little and are limited to knowing the big questions really pisses me off.
and another thing...everyday I go on damn facebook and I see all these people that are living like they know whats going on just because they post some stupid little cliché saying like I mentioned before. they are totally ignorant to mind-expanding chemicals and it irritates me...not because of their ignorance..but because of their unwillingness to learn. They judge and believe whatever they see on the news/TV. Dealing with people like this on a day to day basis annoys me. Also having a wife that refuses to do things that I want to do...like travel the world..go to the jungle..drink ayahuasca...study these things. No..she wants to live the regular life all her friends live. I mean she gets jealous when one of her girlfriends meets some dopey celebrity when im all over here like "if you only knew what your mind was capable of then you wouldn't be jealous of another person ever again"
I want to share my experiences and others share theres with me. I want to be able to talk to my lifelong people I grew up with about the most amazing experience one can have...the psychedelic experience. but nope..i need to pretend everyday like im just another average guy that just watches sports and worships celebrities.
I swear if it wasn't for this place I would have gone crazy and stayed crazy and probably do some dumb shit to make me end up in jail. you guys are awesome. every single one of you.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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LOL. I feel you bill. Unfortunately nobody will really be able to answer any of your questions.
As far as the wife thing goes, that really really fuckin sucks. I've dated chicks like that before and it was always the most mind numbing couple months of my life. Couldn't even imagine having a child and spending the rest of my life with a person like that. Do you love her? Because it sounds like you guys are entirely too different for it to last. This is also why I refrain from going on fb as much as possible. Lame ass quotes from people who think they have shit figured out when they're just as confused and lost as you.
You gotta just keep truckin man.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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You wonder if you'll have the energy for your boy? You're 24, people have kids way older than that. That exact thing you wonder about is the exact reason I wanted kids young. It's like buying a house as soon as you can.. except kids are more expensive. Sorta.
I definitely relate to everything you're feeling but not everyone needs answers. A lot of people haven't even entertained the questions. You chose a life of philosphy. That's not easy. It means a constant deconstruction and analysis of everything around you. With all that negative comes a state of awareness. Some see that as a curse. Just be glad you understand in a greater sense, one that can guide people if you choose to show it's subtleties. Without the contrast in perspective you would have never asked the questions you enjoyed involving yourself with. Maybe you don't see the upside right now, but maybe you need a life change? Or maybe you don't. Drugs are great and you do have a family. I like to trip too, and still do, but thankfully I have a girlfriend who doesn't like it as much as me so it's easier to work around. It's a blessing really. With the way my personality is, if I had someone who fed in to that, I likely would get caught up in it and not realize how far I was until I had regrets. I wouldn't have my son, I know that. (Not saying I'd lose him.. saying he might not have ever been concieved) And I always wanted a family, even when I was little. I saw how awesome my Dad was and said to myself, "When I grow up I wanna be just like him." But not his job, his history, who he is and that's my dad. Now I'm the fucking dad.
Life is funny dude, take it for a ride and you'll find yourself right where you need to be.
Edited by larry.fisherman (05/28/15 09:35 AM)
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Climbhigher
Spore Hoarder



Registered: 04/13/15
Posts: 252
Loc: Vancouver Island / S. Alb...
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
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I'm a few years away from forty. Honestly, I feel better than I ever have in my life. Physically and mentally I'm 110%. In the last year I literally stopped looked around, and said fuck it. I don't care what anyone thinks of me, or my job, or my car, or my clothes or whatever. It took hitting a certain maturity level and age to reach the understanding that none of the shit you are worried about when you're younger matters. Getting old is a trip, I enjoy it, the younger me was a fucking fool.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: i might just end my life when i turn 40.
You should pick up a copy of "The Sensuous Dirty Old Man" by Isaac Asimov.
"You can only be a dirty old man as long as you live. Once you die, It's over."
You still have stuff to look forward to.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,533
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 15 minutes, 14 seconds
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his dmt yields are bullshit.
op needs to follow the tek.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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"The war is right outside your door.."
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,533
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 15 minutes, 14 seconds
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Re: I dont want to get old... [Re: Amanita86] 1
#21731929 - 05/28/15 10:02 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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sometimes when my dmt yields suck...
i black out.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: I dont want to get old... [Re: rxb] 1
#21731980 - 05/28/15 10:18 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I usually just go golfing..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,533
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 15 minutes, 14 seconds
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Re: I dont want to get old... [Re: Amanita86] 1
#21731985 - 05/28/15 10:20 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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sometimes when i golf...
i make dmt
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: I dont want to get old... [Re: Turtletotem]
#21731999 - 05/28/15 10:23 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Turtletotem said: I'm pretty scared to get old too. I'm almost 30, found my first batch of grey hairs last week. The scary part is how bits of your body just start malfunctioning, and death of course.
I started pooping my pants this year plus i gotts the early dementias
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,533
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 15 minutes, 14 seconds
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Re: I dont want to get old... [Re: sprinkles]
#21732040 - 05/28/15 10:38 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said:
Quote:
Turtletotem said: I'm pretty scared to get old too. I'm almost 30, found my first batch of grey hairs last week. The scary part is how bits of your body just start malfunctioning, and death of course.
I started pooping my pants this year plus i gotts the early dementias

you said that 10 years ago
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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the only people who know about death are dead Bill, Jesus Christ
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I dont want to get old... [Re: rxb]
#21732458 - 05/28/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
rxb said: his dmt yields are bullshit.
op needs to follow the tek.
Atleast I know how to do it...that's all I care about.
300mg every 60g of bark Is weak, but its not THAT bad. Its not like its not worth doing it or anything..
I was reading up on here of people that were getting 20-50mg every 50g of bark...now THAT would piss me off..
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I dont want to get old... [Re: sprinkles]
#21732464 - 05/28/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: the only people who know about death are dead Bill, Jesus Christ
how old are you?
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,533
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 15 minutes, 14 seconds
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said:
Quote:
rxb said: his dmt yields are bullshit.
op needs to follow the tek.
Atleast I know how to do it...that's all I care about.
300mg every 60g of bark Is weak, but its not THAT bad. Its not like its not worth doing it or anything..
I was reading up on here of people that were getting 20-50mg every 50g of bark...now THAT would piss me off..
you DO get that we are fucking with you, right? dont get tehbutthrt
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I dont want to get old... [Re: rxb]
#21732503 - 05/28/15 12:59 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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sorry its hard to tell sometimes over the webz
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 9,533
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 15 minutes, 15 seconds
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you do need to follow the tek tho
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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