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OfflineWAN
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Registered: 10/20/14
Posts: 1,895
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Is marriage worth it for the woman?
    #21721644 - 05/25/15 04:32 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Hi.  I was going to post this in the relationship forum but instead put it here because there are more people here.

My mother is always telling me that marriage is bad news for any woman.  She said that a married woman would be burdened with most of the household chores, like laundry, washing the dishes, cooking, sweeping and mopping...etc.  And if the woman has any child, she would also be tasked with rearing him/her, and she would do most of the worrying, because she is the mother and mothers tend to care about the kids more then fathers do.  My mother also said the married woman would have to provide sexual service to her husband and she counts this as yet another negative thing against marriage, although I tend to disagree with her on this.  She is also constantly telling me that if she chose to be single, she wouldn't be "tied down" to the home and her children.  She would cook whatever she wanted to eat and however frequent she would have to do it.  She would only have her own clothes to wash.  She could also just hop on a plane and go travelling without worrying about anything.

So, what is your view on marriage as how it pertains to the woman/the wife?  If you were a woman or if you have any sisters, would you recommend to them to get married?


Edited by WAN (05/25/15 04:35 PM)


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Posts: 19,227
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: WAN] * 7
    #21721651 - 05/25/15 04:33 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

It's more beneficial for the woman if anything.
marriage is a sham.


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Invisibleluvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: WAN] * 5
    #21721659 - 05/25/15 04:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah it's so tough. Staying at home to watch kids, keeping the house clean, and cooking dinner. If there's a divorce she gets half his shit and alimony.


Men get the short end of the stick.


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: WAN] * 4
    #21721660 - 05/25/15 04:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

It sounds like your mother has bad experiences with men. You aren't a slave.. Marriage is about love and support. You're supposed to make each other's lives easier. Why would anyone get married if they thought it was some slave contract?


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: ModestMouse] * 13
    #21721663 - 05/25/15 04:37 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Sounds like your mom's kind of a bitch. :shrug:


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Invisibleluvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: Enjoywho] * 1
    #21721671 - 05/25/15 04:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Sounds like your mom's kind of a bitch. :shrug:




lol that's what I thought too decided not to say anything


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: WAN] * 3
    #21721674 - 05/25/15 04:39 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
It sounds like your mother has bad experiences with men. You aren't a slave.. Marriage is about love and support. You're supposed to make each other's lives easier. Why would anyone get married if they thought it was some slave contract?



Quote:

WAN said:
Hi.  I was going to post this in the relationship forum but instead put it here because there are more people here.

My mother is always telling me that marriage is bad news for any woman.  She said that a married woman would be burdened with most of the household chores, like laundry, washing the dishes, cooking, sweeping and mopping...etc.  And if the woman has any child, she would also be tasked with rearing him/her, and she would do most of the worrying, because she is the mother and mothers tend to care about the kids more then fathers do.  My mother also said the married woman would have to provide sexual service to her husband and she counts this as yet another negative thing against marriage, although I tend to disagree with her on this.  She is also constantly telling me that if she chose to be single, she wouldn't be "tied down" to the home and her children.  She would cook whatever she wanted to eat and however frequent she would have to do it.  She would only have her own clothes to wash.  She could also just hop on a plane and go travelling without worrying about anything.

So, what is your view on marriage as how it pertains to the woman/the wife?  If you were a woman or if you have any sisters, would you recommend to them to get married?




Just because your mom is weak and can't make decisions for herself doesn't mean it applies to all women. Sucks for her though.


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21721679 - 05/25/15 04:40 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

^ :whathesaid:


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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InvisibleDirtMcgirt
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Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 2,213
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: WAN] * 3
    #21721687 - 05/25/15 04:42 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Marriage is what you make of it, and it woirk for many and not for others.

As for women, I would suggest a woman get independant financially and emotionally before she marries, than all the pitfalls your mom is bitching about kind of become moot. When your independant nobody can tell you shit, and are forced into nothing.


Your post make your mom come off really whiney and spoiled....


--------------------
"And we, inhabitants of the great coral of the Cosmos, believe the atom (which still we cannot see) to be full matter, whereas, it too, like everything else, is but an embroidery of voids in the Void, and we give the name of being, dense and even eternal, to that dance of inconsistencies, that infinite extension that is identified with absolute Nothingness and that spins from its own non-being the illusion of everything."


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Offlineqman
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Registered: 12/06/06
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: DirtMcgirt] * 3
    #21721709 - 05/25/15 04:49 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

OP, your mother is 50 years behind the modern woman, today married women don't do any of that shit.


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OfflineWAN
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: qman]
    #21721725 - 05/25/15 04:53 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

qman said:
OP, your mother is 50 years behind the modern woman, today married women don't do any of that shit.



the chores?


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Offlineqman
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Registered: 12/06/06
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: WAN] * 1
    #21721761 - 05/25/15 05:03 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

WAN said:
Quote:

qman said:
OP, your mother is 50 years behind the modern woman, today married women don't do any of that shit.



the chores?




If they work they maybe do half the chores and they sure as hell don't sexually service their husbands when they don't want to fuck.


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: qman] * 1
    #21721766 - 05/25/15 05:07 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I believe that women are the only reason why marriage exists. It makes them feel safe or whatever.

No sane man would want to be attached to the same woman for the rest of his life fucking no other women but her.

Fuck, it seems that even divorce is meant for women. nce a man gets married he's essentially fucked.

But then when you say you don't believe in marriage you become this immature guy not ready for commitment or not wanting to prove his love or some other crap like that.

Fuck it.


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OnlineSeriously_trippin
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: WAN]
    #21721916 - 05/25/15 05:52 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Honestly you could say the same for men that's it's not worth working constantly and doing everything in his power to keep the family afloat. With all due respect I think your mother's advice might've applied in the 50s but we live in a new age. Every happy couple I know respects what each other has to do as far as jobs or taking care of kids and all my friends that are dad's have a very active role is raising and taking care of the child when he's not working.

I don't think marriage is super important if you truly love each other. My best friend and his girl have been together for 8 years and didn't feel the need to get married. They're probably the happiest couple I know. The key is they do everything a married couple does in the respects of not keeping options open,being faithful,complete honesty,joint money accounts etc. I guess their love is just strong enough to not put labels on it.

That being said marriage can be convenient as well, for example my sister and her bf are getting hitched in Vegas because it will help them on their taxes for the kid. Personally I think that's a TERRIBLE reason but that's just my opinion.


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OnlineSeriously_trippin
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #21721920 - 05/25/15 05:53 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Ps: sex is never negative unless it's rape

:themoreyouknow:


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: Seriously_trippin] * 1
    #21721922 - 05/25/15 05:55 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

It's not rape if you say surprise, then it's just an unexpected gift.


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OnlineSeriously_trippin
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: Patlal]
    #21721929 - 05/25/15 05:58 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
I believe that women are the only reason why marriage exists. It makes them feel safe or whatever.

No sane man would want to be attached to the same woman for the rest of his life fucking no other women but her.

Fuck, it seems that even divorce is meant for women. nce a man gets married he's essentially fucked.

But then when you say you don't believe in marriage you become this immature guy not ready for commitment or not wanting to prove his love or some other crap like that.

Fuck it.



Nah man I'm a romantic I like that idea just starting when I'm 40 or so :lol:(not THAT romantic)


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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OfflineLucisM
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Registered: 03/28/15
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: WAN] * 2
    #21721941 - 05/25/15 06:03 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

damn dude, your mom is like straight outta the 50's bruh, sounds like a class act.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: Patlal]
    #21721944 - 05/25/15 06:04 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I don't really get marriage myself. Instead of spending a fuck ton of cash on this stupid ceremony. Why not travel for a month and experience some shit together.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineWAN
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Registered: 10/20/14
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Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Is marriage worth it for the woman? [Re: Enjoywho]
    #21722037 - 05/25/15 06:34 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

First of all, thank you to all who replied in this thread, despite that some of the things uttered in this thread is not the most positive in regards to my mother.  In defense of her, I think I will just clarify that she is a very dutiful, and responsible mother. Perhaps a mite too dutiful (and responsible), which is what caused her to think the way she does.

I am not trying to take sides here, although I do want to elaborate a bit on my mother's way of thinking and why she said the things that she said.  For example, after making this thread, I up and went out, then took a leisurely, hour-long walk in the neighborhood.  It was very relaxing.  But my mom?  She has to stay home and make dinner for the whole family.  Don't get me wrong, what she does is very important, but I am not sure if I want to give up the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want, and not just for one or a few days, but for pretty much my entire life (or till the kids are 18, which is still a huge chunk of my life).  Also, I think some of the things she said are true, too.  For example, our family has 4 people.  Now, logic tells us that she would have to spend roughly 4 times as much on grocery compared to just feeding one person (namely herself).

My mother has a bit more time now that me and my brother have become adults.  But back when we were still kids, my mother never had any chance whatsoever to travel.  If I get married, this is what I will have to consider, too.  It's not just travel, but a whole range of activities that one would not be able to  enjoy due to having too little time.  Although I realize this happens to the men, too.

I don't know, man.  I mean I am not some sort of militant feminist or a big hairy dyke.  I like men, and am attracted to them.  I think I definitely want a man in my life, but I don't know about getting married.  I think the attending responsibilities might be too much for someone like me to handle.  And I don't want to jump into anything to hastily.  This would only lead to regrets and heartaches.


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