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OfflineRoyalAyness
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Registered: 02/02/13
Posts: 21
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Can you read and try to give me some insight or help?
    #21718835 - 05/24/15 08:53 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

getting old sucks. Like you get poisoned with all of society's BS and forget who you are or what life is really about. You forget how to laugh, lose your sense of humor, and lose your pureness. You become so filled with layers of dust and filth from all the incoming sensory input from society polluting you that you don't even know what used to be under all that. Suddenly your dreams of meeting the girl of your dreams to love and helping people and living life for the love and laughs becomes living for money, living for accomplishments, for people saying you're good enough or acting like a grown up like you're expected to..all kinds of meaningless things. And then what? You know this isn't what life is supposed to be. You know it isn't what you want. But what are the alternatives? This is all you see around you, this is the way everyone is living, and how do you go against such a huge force? I look in the mirror and I don't know who I am. Where did all my passion go? I used to have such a zest for life. Like a powerful inferno rushing to take in every moment and capture every unique experience possible. Now I'm contented sitting on the couch all day idly letting time pass by. Oh well. I'll wake up again tomorrow. Maybe some random event will come shake up my monotonous existence a little bit. There's nothing I can seek out or do to effect it myself. There's nothing new to experience it seems. Or maybe I'm just too hurt or too scared to try. I've become so separate from everyone. People have let me down so much, why don't they understand love anymore? I guess I gave up on innocence and love too.

I have hopes that some miracle cure spiritual journey can save me from this cognitive dissonance, because I've exhausted all the brain-washing techniques and rational-emotive thinking and meditation I can do over the years to the point I have a permanent tolerance to them it seems. I no longer believe what I used to know, and what I've felt or known before. It's been so long since I touched that enlightened place or felt pure and innocent, full of love, or passionate about life. I go by each day so apathetic. This isn't life. This isn't love. Help. The years are passing me by.


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InvisibleAstral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21718945 - 05/24/15 09:32 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Things tend to slow down enough to where you pay more attention to them when you get older. This gives you the opportunity to see things as they truly are, rather than just at face value back when you had a million things going on at once. Sounds like you stopped to smell the roses and have discovered there aren't any in your life, and the smell is nothing like flowers. Maybe an air freshener might help.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21718955 - 05/24/15 09:35 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

How old are you OP?


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineRoyalAyness
Stranger

Registered: 02/02/13
Posts: 21
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21718973 - 05/24/15 09:40 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I am 26, thanks for asking/responding. Like i remember I used to be so passionate about things, I wanted to be the best basketball player, so i'd spend up to 7 hours every day practicing, i'd play when i got off work, i wanted to be the best writer, I laughed all day every day and could constantly humor myself and I loved meeting new people and helping people and loving. I wanted to out and immerse myself in every experience. Now even when I go out to have fun I don't feel immersed in the experience. Everything has lost it's novelty it seems.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21718987 - 05/24/15 09:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Fuck I don't really have time to respond and im on my phone right now but ill send you a pm or post in this thread tmrw and let you know what I think. I just can't give you anything of substance at this particular moment in time


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineRoyalAyness
Stranger

Registered: 02/02/13
Posts: 21
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21719011 - 05/24/15 09:50 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Well that would be appreciated Malcolm. Thanks for caring enough to take the time at any point.


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InvisibleAstral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21719092 - 05/24/15 10:23 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Shit man, I thought you were just getting jaded and grumpy like most people do. 26 is way too young for that. I know the feeling. Losing joy in the things you once loved. I'm sure there are plenty of others here as well who will chime in for help.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__


Edited by Astral Pain (05/24/15 10:33 PM)


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OfflineRoyalAyness
Stranger

Registered: 02/02/13
Posts: 21
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: Astral Pain]
    #21719126 - 05/24/15 10:40 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I've been like this since about 24. Before that I felt like i was confident, full of love, very open and optimistic, accepting, etc. Then I met a girl and got attached and stayed in a toxic relationship and have never been able to regain my former glory so to speak since then. Of course I was younger and life still had a little magic and possibility to it, now I'm just totally nihilist no matter how hard i try not to be. Before I kind've believed I was put here to become the best person I could be and learn from everything and love and then be reincarnated/elevated to a higher soul. Now I just believe I die and there's nothing after that so..you of course can see how that makes it a lot tougher. Nihilism is the inevitable conclusion I feel like every philosopher comes to. Of course nihilism is not entirely direct of what my OP is describing.. the lack of passion, ambition, immersion, novelty for life. Life just seems so monotonous and not exciting like it used to be. I could care less if i go out and experience the world or just sit on my couch all day, either way there's nothing new going on i haven't seen before. that's how i feel.


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Offlinestratocast
Has Been
Male


Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 345
Loc: ohio, U.S.
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21719209 - 05/24/15 11:22 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

First of all 26 is way too young to be complaining. Most people wish they were 26. However, in all fairness, i get it. Here's my advice. Everything in life is either done out of love, or out of fear.  You ar e in the fear mode right now. Start living out of love and it should help. Fuck everyone else's opinions. Do what you want to do for you. I know, easier said than done, but don't you think you deserve some happiness.


--------------------


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InvisibleAstral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21719223 - 05/24/15 11:28 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I find myself living in the past and I think you may be the same in that regard. When you don't have any drive or motivation for anything, you have to continually create a carrot on the end of a stick to find some sort of motivation throughout the day. There's no one major thing happening to occupy your mind on a daily basis, and idle time with your own crazy thoughts are maddening. Does this sound familiar? I probably need just as much help as you, but I find it kind comforting to hear from others who are in the same boat.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__


Edited by Astral Pain (05/25/15 01:06 AM)


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InvisibleAstral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: stratocast]
    #21719235 - 05/24/15 11:33 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

stratocast said:
First of all 26 is way too young to be complaining. Most people wish they were 26. However, in all fairness, i get it. Here's my advice. Everything in life is either done out of love, or out of fear.  You ar e in the fear mode right now. Start living out of love and it should help. Fuck everyone else's opinions. Do what you want to do for you. I know, easier said than done, but don't you think you deserve some happiness.




It is easier said than done, but I think even with the realization of what needs to happen, it's hard as hell when you're chasing your tail around. It's a matter of breaking free from that mindset long enough to get a grip on the road.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__


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OfflineRoyalAyness
Stranger

Registered: 02/02/13
Posts: 21
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: Astral Pain]
    #21719267 - 05/24/15 11:51 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I wouldn't say I'm living out of fear. I understand the whole living out of fear versus living out of love concept. I just feel like i have no passion or life in me. Like i've already lived and experienced life and it is monotonous at this point and has nothing novel to offer me too much. Perhaps there is no advice that can be given except "all you can do is try and make the most out of it[even though that will still leave you feeling incomplete at times and will lack the passion you had when your brain wasn't fully developed and you were still young]"

I often say, when you're young you're way too naive, and when you're old you're way to cynical. But hell, if this is what being old is, i'd rather be naive all day, because there's a lot of wisdom and pureness in that naivety that we lose when we go older. When I was young, I was alive. I was living. I had a natural pureness and innocence that was enlightened, being immersed in the adventure of life. My mind was open and powerful still, i could understand the connectedness of all very easily. Now..well to put it simply, everything is just a big clusterfuck and so many years of society's poisoning..ugh. Put another way, I used to feel like life was my playground, now i feel like it is my prison.


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Invisibletpot
Hypnotist, Musician
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Registered: 01/14/15
Posts: 14
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21719285 - 05/25/15 12:01 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Sometimes that feeling really means that what you're doing isn't working. It's time for a change (or a few changes). Find that passion in your life. Maybe it won't be in a romantic relationship, for now. Look for new things to learn - I find I'm always excited when there is more to learn.

Try yoga!
Go out into nature - take a hike, a walk, or camp in the woods.
Check out the local library, pick up random books that interest you.
Listen to good music, find a local band that jams!
Rearrange the furniture in your house (got that one from my mom, haha).
Start some seeds, mushroom projects, or just buy a plant to care for.

Just some ideas from a friend.

We're all here for you.


--------------------
One Love.



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InvisibleAstral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21719404 - 05/25/15 01:19 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

RoyalAyness said:
I wouldn't say I'm living out of fear. I understand the whole living out of fear versus living out of love concept. I just feel like i have no passion or life in me. Like i've already lived and experienced life and it is monotonous at this point and has nothing novel to offer me too much. Perhaps there is no advice that can be given except "all you can do is try and make the most out of it[even though that will still leave you feeling incomplete at times and will lack the passion you had when your brain wasn't fully developed and you were still young]"

I often say, when you're young you're way too naive, and when you're old you're way to cynical. But hell, if this is what being old is, i'd rather be naive all day, because there's a lot of wisdom and pureness in that naivety that we lose when we go older. When I was young, I was alive. I was living. I had a natural pureness and innocence that was enlightened, being immersed in the adventure of life. My mind was open and powerful still, i could understand the connectedness of all very easily. Now..well to put it simply, everything is just a big clusterfuck and so many years of society's poisoning..ugh. Put another way, I used to feel like life was my playground, now i feel like it is my prison.




 
You're comparing yourself to the person you were in the past, but you're still that person whether you want to admit it or not. The only thing that has probably changed is your surroundings. The prison you feel that you are in the idea that you are a lesser person as before and will never be that way again. You're still young and all those attributes you speak of are still there, but something is holding them back. You mentioned a toxic relationship and I would imagine this may play a major part in your loss of drive. Later on.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__


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OfflineThe5thBeatle
Rocker
 User Gallery

Registered: 03/05/15
Posts: 553
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: Astral Pain]
    #21719444 - 05/25/15 01:45 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

^this.

People change, things change, but you're still you.
Prayer helps me, although I don't go about it like many people think to. It's more of thanksgiving than asking for things. Over time, you can train yourself to be thankful for every little thing. You can find pleasure in many things, like a majestic landscape or some wildlife, a piece of music or literature, all kinds of things.
Maybe try taking walks, cooking or building something, find something that inspires you!! I know that desolate feeling.. and even though it may recur from time to time, it can be overcome.
Don't let the world get the best of you


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OfflinewakeINpeople
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Registered: 12/11/14
Posts: 609
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: The5thBeatle]
    #21719553 - 05/25/15 02:49 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Dig inside, and ask yourself what are some things you REALLY WANT TO DO?...then seek out other people who are doing them, and then you will be interacting with people who are like minded, and you will enjoy your interactions and you will vibe with them. 

But you must take the steps and start, no one is going to come into your house and pull you off your couch.

Eat some fruits and veggies and start running through the woods, connect with nature

Have Fun!!!


Edited by wakeINpeople (05/25/15 02:51 AM)


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OfflineRoyalAyness
Stranger

Registered: 02/02/13
Posts: 21
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: wakeINpeople]
    #21720194 - 05/25/15 09:45 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Thanks for all the replies. I don't have a lot of free time to do stuff I feel with school. But I did join an MMA gym, which hasn't been great due mainly to the fact I totaled my car and couldn't go for several months so I haven't made any progress with that like I was hoping. Some of my other hobbies are playing guitar, learning german, and lifting weights. Although all of those have become irregular and I'm going to stop lifting weights for at least a month in an attempt to build up motivation to want to do it and have more serious, consistent work outs.

When I was younger you couldn't pull me out of the gym, you couldn't pull me off the basketball court, anything I did, i did with passion and went hard at. I just feel like..well, i KNOW I'll never have that excitement and passion for life again, I'm not the same person. My brain is fully developed and I've experienced life for too long and it's just not exciting anymore. But thanx for the replies, I will continue to do my best and put more effort in. Of course, when you have to put effort in to not be complacent..idk, i just wish everything wasn't so forced and I had a passion deep within


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InvisibleAstral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21720290 - 05/25/15 10:20 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Maaan, what are you talking about when you say "When I was young" You are referring back to when you were 24. 2 years ago. Sounds like you have your plate full with activities and have an impressive skill set Guitar, MMA, basketball, lifting weights, and you're going to school.

  "I just feel like..well, i KNOW I'll never have that excitement and passion for life again, I'm not the same person." What does this mean? This passion was two years ago. You're leaving something major out of this equation because it just doesn't add up.

There's an entire chapter missing here. BTW, I myself lift weights and find it strange to take time off to regain some drive. You said you were sitting on the couch and you're gonna end up growing roots out of your ass doing that. We need the other chapter. This book sucks because it's not complete. Post up later


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__


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OfflineRoyalAyness
Stranger

Registered: 02/02/13
Posts: 21
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: Astral Pain]
    #21720937 - 05/25/15 01:29 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Well, about 3 years ago, i'll be 27 on June 21st. And I can't say there's a chapter being left out. I mean i started dating my ex when I was 23, got super attached to her and put up with a lot of crap because I couldn't leave her and cared about her happiness more than my own like a love-addicted fool. I lived for her. And so letting someone that wasn't worth sh** treat me like I wasn't worth sh**..she eventually brought me down to her level and totally poisoned me spiritually. I've been broke up with her about 2 years now though.

When I was younger I was more ego-centric which i guess may have accounted for the passion and drive. Now I'm just incredibly humble and don't feel the need to try and be the best at anything or better than anyone else. It's not possible now anyways really, I'm too old and there's always going to be someone younger and with more time and potential. Leave all that to the egocentric young bucks, their time will come too. the sun sets on everyone.


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Invisiblelfds2pid
Lone woof
Male

Registered: 02/26/15
Posts: 49
Loc: Earth
Re: Can you read and try to give me some insight or help? [Re: RoyalAyness]
    #21720952 - 05/25/15 01:35 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

RUN.

LIFT.

EAT.

SLEEP.

MONDAY.

WEDNESDAY.

FRIDAY.


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