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Anonymous #1

Suicide
    #21712348 - 05/22/15 10:16 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Hello everyone I am in such a depressed point in life i don't know what to do anymore. i haven't known what to do in years now im so far gone i feel more hopeless than ever.

i get a feeling like no one would genuinely care if i ended my life. like they would show that they are sad but i think everyone expects it out me at this point.

i have had one sort of relationship in the past 5 years and it wasn't a real one just a connection  i shared with a chick i met online which makes me feel 10x pathetic.

i do wake up with hope somedays but through out the day it gets worn down by negative people and my own negative energies.

when i try to be positive and meet other people, make friends its always short lived and im lonely again.

i feel like no one can help me.

i miss being happy and having pride in my self but now i have no job no diploma and im in a different state than i grew up in so im sort of trapped here.

please help me.

i just need someone to talk to maybe someone who like to give advice and have others vent to them.

i used to be that person but you cant really help others when you cant even help yourself.

i pushed everyone in my life away to get high and smoke weed and i never made good friends that would keep some sort of equal sharing relationship where we match i have a cousin who will smoke all my weed and then be stingey with his.

i want to up and leave but i know i would end up living under an overpass if i did something so stupid.

so im stuck now and i just wish i could get more confidence and a better self esteem but how can i do that if i don't know if im ugly or not.

i don't think i am but i must be because girls don't ever approach me like it seems like for other guys girls actually find attractive.

i sometimes think it may just be im not that approachable but i have alright looks but now i don't know.

all i know is if i really cant get out of this hole im in with no character i guess you can say i have nothing to keep me going. i do not want to be alone forever and die alone but that seems like where im heading anyway so i feel like i should wait around with false hopes.

im a 19 male im a young man and honestly im just scared i don't know what to do. i know i don't make my self attractive at all looking for a "pity party" or what ever and i don't show that im the type of guy that would get laid and have a bunch of people in his life.

i want to be a better person and i want a better personality at least but i have been so negative for so long its such a struggle.

im not saying i AM going to kill myself i am just saying i am contemplating it unintentionally from time to time because i feel conditioned to do so in our society.


help me please......


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Anonymous #2

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21712554 - 05/22/15 11:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

try not being so miserable and obsessed just from reading the topic title I have a whimpering voice in my head, that will  never get you on anyone's good side in todays society


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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #21712600 - 05/22/15 11:57 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

i am aware. I know it sounds whiney and pathetic that's why its anon.

I do that but just changing that state of mind don't get me anywhere I need an actual confidence boost or just a good idea of what to DO. not how to think I know how I should think. what should I DO to get through this. how do I approach other strangers on the street and get new friends.

I hope you understand what I mean.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21712620 - 05/23/15 12:04 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

eat healthy
stop smoking so much
exercise
read on different topics
try to find what interest you the most in life
fix yourself some goals toward achievements related to your interests
buy yourself some decent clothes
maintain a good hygiene
maintain a positive attitude regardless of what you feel
compare yourself to people who have it worse than you
stop complaining


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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #21712626 - 05/23/15 12:05 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

gotchya man but like is there any social tips to keep convos going or do we really live in flakey times if you know what im saying?


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Anonymous #3

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21712649 - 05/23/15 12:14 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

being a good listener is a good start, also not being clingy is good.
detachment is good. Genuine expression of yourself. if you know what your goals are, you can talk about them and maybe relate to  the other person's identity.

yes there are assholes out there, identify them, so they dont waste your time.

also being all by yourself is not a bad thing. most of the time it will give you time to meditate and learn more things about yourself.

also, everybody has to deal whit some sort of shit in their lives. dont be so jealous of others.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #21712661 - 05/23/15 12:24 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

yes I know im not jealous of others I sort of envy confident people but that about me not anything against them. I can be clingy but MOST of the time im a flake and that's how I got to this point of having no friends. I didn't care for them only weed and now im too alone as in I really enjoy alone time but its gotten to lonely yknow.

I have tension with my cousin because he always passive aggressively attacks my dignity and it makes me not want to be around him at all.

I could go to a local head shop and hang out try and meet people there or guitar center since I play drums a bit but when I get the energy to do so something brings me down or I get overwhelmed with where im at in life because the people I live with are straight passive aggressive and nothing but and they insult in ways that are almost impossible to call them on because then I look like an ass.

I know it seems like im blaming them but im not they are just an influence I know at the end of the day its all on me.

that was just a lil venting.

but I understand what youre saying. I just feel creepy asking to many follow up question in a convo and they never seem to show an interest in me at all. makes me feel bad man...

take what I say with a grain of salt or whatever and please try to be understanding.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21712752 - 05/23/15 12:57 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

you seem to be allright. just gotta try some more.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #21713103 - 05/23/15 05:51 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

advice: don't listen to any of the of advice here, so far (save the last post). none of these posts are helpful at all.

here is something helpful: you're doing everything perfectly fine. just keep trying and don't get down on the world when you're trying to make any friends.

be open minded. but other than that, know that the world is shit. no one is gonna pull out the stops for you to feel better about yourself because people are self-entitled pricks. so just put that out of your mind.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #21713107 - 05/23/15 05:53 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
being a good listener is a good start, also not being clingy is good.
detachment is good. Genuine expression of yourself. if you know what your goals are, you can talk about them and maybe relate to  the other person's identity.

yes there are assholes out there, identify them, so they dont waste your time.

also being all by yourself is not a bad thing. most of the time it will give you time to meditate and learn more things about yourself.

also, everybody has to deal whit some sort of shit in their lives. dont be so jealous of others.




actually i skipped this post, this is a good post with good advice.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #21713550 - 05/23/15 09:23 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
being a good listener is a good start, also not being clingy is good.
detachment is good. Genuine expression of yourself. if you know what your goals are, you can talk about them and maybe relate to  the other person's identity.

yes there are assholes out there, identify them, so they dont waste your time.

also being all by yourself is not a bad thing. most of the time it will give you time to meditate and learn more things about yourself.

also, everybody has to deal whit some sort of shit in their lives. dont be so jealous of others.




actually i skipped this post, this is a good post with good advice.





Great advice. in the end we all have our problems, and we all have our  bad times and good times. Things don't always change as fast as we want sometimes,  but they never will if you don't do anything to make a change happen. You have no idea what your future holds and that alone is more than enough reason to stick around and find out. Every new day is a new reason to be alive because that could be the day your life turns around. that adds up to a lot more good reasons to live than the couple of issues your dealing with.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #21713664 - 05/23/15 10:11 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

thank all of you guys. all of your advice is helping push me further in trying to better myself.

todays a new day we will see how it goes:youthemandawg:


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Anonymous #6

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21714847 - 05/23/15 04:51 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I have some suggestions.  I'm not suggesting you take any unprescribed drugs right now, but I've been doing a LOT of mushrooms over the last couple of months and it's very recently given me some very real insight into personal misery.

I've taken psychiatric drugs on and off over the last decade or so.  My primary problems are stress and anxiety, but I get more angry than depressed.  Oddly, they don't give you anti-anger pills, they give you anti-depression pills.  So, recently came off of Cymbalta realizing it's a terrible drug (for me) but I have also been taking the maximum dose of gabapentin.  Gabapentin is non-narcotic, non-addictive and has very few side effects.  For instance, if I stopped taking it tomorrow, I would just be anxious but I would not have diarrhea, headaches, nausea, brain zaps, etc.  I suggest contacting your doctor (if you have one) and ask for it.  Say you are very depressed (which you already admit you are) and tell them it's come highly recommended by a friend's psychiatrist for off-label use as an anti-anxiety medication.  Ask the doctor to give you at least 600mg 3xday.  This is my suggestion if you are not willing to call the suicide prevention hotline.

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

My other suggestion is to get outside and off the computer.  Just go for a walk.  Find some nature and take your phone out of your pocket and see what kinds of interesting pictures you can take.  Just focus on something that doesn't remind you of the bad shit in your life.  Climb a tree, jump in a puddle, dance in the woods, go to see a band you've never heard of (don't drink).

Once you've cleared your system a bit. It's time to realize that you're only NINETEEN.  Things go up and down.  Right now you're down.  So what you're single.  I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20 and didn't have sex again for 3 years after that.  I didn't have my first real relationship until I was 25.  I didn't meet the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with until I was 31 (I'm 36 now).  Don't think with your cock.  A woman is NOT going to make you happy.  Make yourself happy.  In fact, it's my highly recommended advice to all of my younger friends that you should not seek out a partner until you are happy alone.  What I mean is, I didn't have the confidence to attract a proper partner until I had lived alone for 3 years and realized I would be okay if I never met Ms. Right.  Didn't mean I didn't wanna get laid, just that I didn't need a woman in my life in order to be happy.  The point of this is that truly, it gets better.  It also gets worse, but it gets better too.

What mushrooms recently taught me is to stop fighting the universe.  Don't resist change.  Resistance isn't futile, but it's quite uncomfortable sometimes.  It's far easier to roll with the punches than to stop them with your face.  For example, I've been at the same job for 4.5 years.  I got a shit degree from ITT which isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  I don't make enough to pay it back and my efforts to get a higher paying job with the degree I have, regardless of how well I interview (which is amazingly well), have been fruitless.  I finally admitted to myself that I hate my job, I hate the company I work for, and I'd rather take back IT as my hobby rather than my career.  At 36, I'm changing careers again and learning a new trade.  I'm going to be a forklift mechanic.  It pays a shit-ton better and I won't be sitting on my ass all day.

If you need a back and forth chat, you can email me at anonymous_shroomer@outlook.com (an address I created just to let you get in contact with me) and I will help the best I can, but I won't really be available to chat until around 6am tomorrow when I get back to work.

I hope this helps some!


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Anonymous #7

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21719177 - 05/24/15 11:07 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Hello everyone I am in such a depressed point in life i don't know what to do anymore. i haven't known what to do in years now im so far gone i feel more hopeless than ever.

i get a feeling like no one would genuinely care if i ended my life. like they would show that they are sad but i think everyone expects it out me at this point.

i have had one sort of relationship in the past 5 years and it wasn't a real one just a connection  i shared with a chick i met online which makes me feel 10x pathetic.

i do wake up with hope somedays but through out the day it gets worn down by negative people and my own negative energies.

when i try to be positive and meet other people, make friends its always short lived and im lonely again.

i feel like no one can help me.

i miss being happy and having pride in my self but now i have no job no diploma and im in a different state than i grew up in so im sort of trapped here.

please help me.

i just need someone to talk to maybe someone who like to give advice and have others vent to them.

i used to be that person but you cant really help others when you cant even help yourself.

i pushed everyone in my life away to get high and smoke weed and i never made good friends that would keep some sort of equal sharing relationship where we match i have a cousin who will smoke all my weed and then be stingey with his.

i want to up and leave but i know i would end up living under an overpass if i did something so stupid.

so im stuck now and i just wish i could get more confidence and a better self esteem but how can i do that if i don't know if im ugly or not.

i don't think i am but i must be because girls don't ever approach me like it seems like for other guys girls actually find attractive.

i sometimes think it may just be im not that approachable but i have alright looks but now i don't know.

all i know is if i really cant get out of this hole im in with no character i guess you can say i have nothing to keep me going. i do not want to be alone forever and die alone but that seems like where im heading anyway so i feel like i should wait around with false hopes.

im a 19 male im a young man and honestly im just scared i don't know what to do. i know i don't make my self attractive at all looking for a "pity party" or what ever and i don't show that im the type of guy that would get laid and have a bunch of people in his life.

i want to be a better person and i want a better personality at least but i have been so negative for so long its such a struggle.

im not saying i AM going to kill myself i am just saying i am contemplating it unintentionally from time to time because i feel conditioned to do so in our society.


help me please......


this is very insightful to your situation and describes you exactly
this is what i would do about it


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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #21719411 - 05/25/15 01:24 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

All that coming from someone who watches boondocks on adult swim...

not all that offensive.

you are probably 14 maybe even 12.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #21719413 - 05/25/15 01:28 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

anon 6 thanks you that helps to know I feel like everyone I know is living but im not it hard sometimes...

I used to be out and about all the time its just shit went down....


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Anonymous #8

Re: Suicide [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21720866 - 05/25/15 01:06 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

OP im in the same rocky boat. Sometimes I wonder what the point of living this life anymore, but you have to find a hobby or just go enjoy nature. I haven't been this depressed in years, so I am pretty sure I know what you're feeling. Hell, the other day I thought about blowing my brains out except I have no bullets. It's been a few days and I am glad I didn't have those bullets.
Keep your chin up, ok. I know it's hard, but you have to try.


Msg me any time



Viva


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