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Anonymous #1
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Lonely
#21712059 - 05/22/15 08:40 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I have been lonely for a while, ever since i lost my last flame. i try to connect with girls but i seem to get the same flakey convos. i don't have money and my future isn't looking great im in a rough spot and i cant even make friends. im 19 and moved away from my hometown so i don't know anyone where i live.
i need advice on how to talk to girls better and how to get out and meet people. im fighting my depression that gets worse everyday over this stuff. i feel like a loser sometimes and like someone whos going to be alone forever.
i am asking for help.
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ohcrapitsnico
The Other One


Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 2,720
Loc: Houston
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You should focus on making friends first instead of meeting girls. You shouldnt be pursuing romantic relationships in the emotional state you are in. Meeting people is hard if you're introverted, striking up conversations with random people will never be my thing. Try hanging out with people from your work place, and branch out from there, also the shroomery seems to be a good resource to meet people.
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Anonymous #1
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I have tried meeting people on here and they usually flake out and it makes me feel like its not worth it.
I know I should just find some buddies and the girls will come but how do I meet them?
I hang with my cousin who is more hopeless than I am when it comes to confidence and meeting new people.
how do I make a good impression?
I think I have in my past made friends that I could have made closer but I pushed them away and forgot about them because I focused ALL my time on getting high,
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 1 hour, 47 minutes
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hopefully then youve learned that lesson that drug seeking mode effectively alienates you from those around you. the best way to meet people is sober. that way they meet the real you, you meet the real them, and can decide on a clear head whether or not you want them in your life longterm.
I think a good way to meet some people is to find a hobby you have an interest for. If you like music, search craigslist for a band, or start hitting up some shows. Maybe you wont meet people right away but after a while youll get used to whatever scene and talking to randoms will come more naturally. gotta give it all time to work out, dont expect any miracle best friends. Another great spot is college, if youre interested in higher education. Sometimes just getting out and starting random conversations with people is very cool too. You get on a subject and it takes off until you are talking about god knows what and making plans together. yeah life is full of flakes, but whatever, even if you have a good conversation you are at the very least improving your convo skills for someone who actually will hang out eventually. I personally like music and sports a lot, so hanging out during football season i end up talking with everyone about it, getting in FF leagues and maintaining friendships through that medium.
just find your thing and roll with it, and allow any social interaction to enrich your life for what its worth, without trying to force anything or feeling let down if things dont work out. There are 7.5 billion people, you cant even get through the million in your local area before you die of old age, so take it easy and have fun. lay of the drugs too, if youre still using.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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mndfreeze 
Shroomery Secret Service




Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 20,529
Loc: PuppetMasterFlash
Last seen: 18 hours, 48 minutes
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At 19 you should only focus on 2 things. Career, friends.
the girls will come and go between those 2 things. The career you should advance for yourself, for both your future and for how having a good one will affect all the other aspects of you life.
A happy man in a career he likes is making money and enjoying life. A man enjoying life like that is a magnet to girls.
Friends is self explanatory. You need em, and also they can lead to women, both directly and in directly.
-------------------- Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus! quote]Urb said: I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]
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Anonymous #1
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I have no diploma and its so much more complicated to get a ged then it should be.
I cant really focus on a career when people tell me I HAVE to have a minimum wage job.
I hear you both though and thank you especially mick that was great advice.
I haven't really gotten high in 24 hours and this is the first time in a few years.
shits rough
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Cosmopolite
Wannabe Linguist



Registered: 03/27/15
Posts: 192
Last seen: 8 years, 14 days
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Some realizations I've had, as a pretty lonely dude, is that you aren't going to meet anyone unless you make it possible. That means going out to a coffee house, or a book store, or the park, or a pub, anything like that. Just strike up conversations with people there, starting with something as simple as a compliment. The more people you talk to, the more likely it is that you will find friends.
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Anonymous #1
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sounds like a good idea.
I just have a fear in the back of my hed that ill come ff creepy I could easily compliment others I just don't want to come off TOO strange.
im strange so theres no way to avoid being seen as such I just don't want to be too much..
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Hey Anon. Thanks for posting.
Listen. It's all about loving yourself as a person. Let me explain.
I have a really good job making decent money, and physically i'm looking better everyday. Now one would think with this combo one would be happy, right? Wrong.
See. I too suffer from what you have just described. I'm really depressed. I think i'm such a loser on the inside. I have all these negative thoughts go through my head everyday.
I've been alone for 7 years almost. And 6 years no sex. But it has been my choice this whole time. I still can't look at myself in the mirror because I hate the person i've become. But my solution may be different from yours because I take it you're not a friend of Bill.
My advice is to find hobbies. Find something you enjoy doing. Try to get outside of yourself and your messed up way of thinking. You're probably not that bad of a guy. Your world view is just a little distorted. It's okay because it is fixable. And once you figure out how to love yourself, then girls will enjoy to be around you. And you will be able to go into the unknown and put yourself into situations where you conversate with girls. Take it slow. Give it time and everything will fall into place.
Message me if you need support.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Anonymous #1
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thank you man I definetly will it is nice to know there are people in the same boat as me.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,057
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 4 minutes, 35 seconds
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Oh wow, when did your virginity turn 6 JFT?
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Lonely [Re: koods]
#21715528 - 05/23/15 08:27 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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hey man I haven't got any in 4-5 years so id say I got my vcard back joking obviously im not though....
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Lonely [Re: koods]
#21715561 - 05/23/15 08:35 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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3 weeks ago.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said: hey man I haven't got any in 4-5 years so id say I got my vcard back joking obviously im not though....
Hey man. Shoot me a PM. I'll keep whatever is said between us. It's always good to have some support somewhere.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Rosen_Rot
Learning



Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
Loc: Goa
Last seen: 11 months, 21 days
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Here's some motivation, I'm turning 24, have 3cents in my bank account, no license, no car and still dependent on my parents. All I have is shiny diplomas and upcoming thesis which probably wont get me anywhere.
You're still 19 and so many things can change in a year man
As for the lonely part.. do what I did and analyze everyone you have in your life. Making friends is a waterfall effect. You use some one to get close to some one else and that some one to some one else until eventually you end with many options and there you can make a clear decision on who you want to keep and who you don't.
If you have old contacts, dig them up and ask to meet, for a beer, a chat and just something. Join a hobby as well, like Archery, I've met a lot of people through Archery.
I started with 0 friends after my ex dumped me because she couldn't take my bipolarism anymore. So I started hitting the bars, not to get sloshed but just pass the time mulling over a beer, change of scenary and sometimes so my ass can feel something else other than my dumb old computer chair. Then I started recognizing people, getting into conversations with drunk people who in return introduced me to more "soberish" people. Those people then introduced me to more people and the cycle keeps on going until you get to a point where you just want to get away from people. I've trimmed a lot of those people out, some I keep on contact and check up on once in a while, others I'm close too.
Something to keep in mind, when talking to people, avoid being negative about anything, it really puts people off and that repels people from getting to know you. I know you probably think your life is shit but do keep it to yourself, unless some one asks, and if they do, let out a few things, not the whole shitstorm.
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"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo ''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting'' SBJs "The Basics" 3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak" B+ BONANZA
Edited by Rosen_Rot (05/26/15 10:39 AM)
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Atrium
Cunt Tickler


Registered: 08/18/13
Posts: 1,284
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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What's up OP. I lost my brother and dad on the same week back in December at 18. That was after having no friends in highschool. Moved to California, so know nobody to get through it with. Moved to Arizona, and knew nobody to get through the lonely days with. Got a girl who introduced me to all the town. They loved me, as the MDMA and Cid dealer. I got busted, they all dropped me saying I'm a snitch. My girl slept with a close friend to hurt me.
You've got shit to be thankful for in every breath. Get the hell out of your hole of pity and go walk your fucking dog. Go ride on your skateboard. See somebody who needs your help? Step up.
Life's not just going to change from complaining on a computer.
-------------------- The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it. The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry.
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psych_fck
Artist


Registered: 02/26/15
Posts: 382
Loc: Miami, FL
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you're still so young! you will find someone don't worry friend.
right now just focus on yourself and bettering yourself personally and making friends... the girls will come dw.
try going to a bar or a club with a mate.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Quote:
psych_fck said: you're still so young! you will find someone don't worry friend.
right now just focus on yourself and bettering yourself personally and making friends... the girls will come dw.
try going to a bar or a club with a mate.
Those are the worst kind of girls. They want you to buy them a drink then fuck em. And that's it.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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psych_fck
Artist


Registered: 02/26/15
Posts: 382
Loc: Miami, FL
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Not necessarily, I've met some cool people at clubs.
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FlackoTheAlien
Mushrooms Alter Universes



Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 473
Loc: United States, Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Lonely [Re: koods]
#21735989 - 05/29/15 08:31 AM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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Lol .. I don't disagree with you JFT, I think you made a good point, but some times a man just needs to buy a girl a drink, talk some bullshit and then get his dick wet, those girls CAN be the best kinds, because there usually isn't strings attached. and you know what they say,if you csn fuck her once , then you can fuck her twice Quote:
koods said: Oh wow, when did your virginity turn 6 JFT?
JFT how are you a "6 year virgin" what does that even mean? You haven't had sex in six years, or you've nevet got it in? Which is it
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 Everything in the universe is in your mind.
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