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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) * 5
    #21696937 - 05/19/15 01:20 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Hey guys, so I was planning on sharing this story at this Narcotics Anonymous meeting that I consider to be my home group. But I'm more of an introvert and felt more comfortable sharing this story on the internet first.

So, some of you guys know the story about how I moved to Philadelphia and filed an application for a marriage license within 2 weeks of meeting some guy I met off the street and smoked crack with. So what happened was, I relapsed and everything spiraled out of control for me, so the last thing on my mind was even thinking about going through with the marriage license and getting married.

For me, this relapse was one the worst and the most severe relapses I've ever had. I was doing a bundle of dope a day (which is like the equivalent of 10-14 stamps for you people not familiar with East Coast terminology), and getting 40mg of methadone dose from the clinic on top of that. On top of THAT, I was smoking $100 worth of rock a day, AND smoking 6 PCP cigarettes on top of that. I didn't even realize until recently just how paranoid and delusional I was. 

I thought I could control it. Even 60 days after going to detox and rehab and getting sober, I've been having these thoughts. That it was the CRACK that made me lose control, that it was the heroin that made me lose touch with reality. I thought up until recently that smoking PCP was fine, I justified it to myself because it was just a hallucinogen, it was harmless. For me, PCP made me really chill and relax, I would just smoke it, chill out in bed and watch stupid TV like The Bachelorette. I had no idea how it could possibly make people violent.

But one day, it eventually drove me to the point of psychosis. The more drugs that I did, the more and more paranoid I started getting of this guy I was supposed to marry. Basically, the very first time that we met, I was wandering the streets of Philadelphia looking to score drugs. I had just moved there, it was Christmas time, I was all alone and was walking around in the cold outside to see who I could approach for some of that infamous East Coast China White. And I met this guy, and within like an hour of meeting him, we smoked crack and had sex together.  So basically, he was some random crackhead that I met on the street, and I was making plans within a week to fucking marry this guy. (We're still together BTW because he ended up being very sincere and lovable, but that only happened because I was extremely lucky. I definitely don't recommend anybody else make the choice that I did.)

I'm also very lucky, because my boyfriend was the one who convinced me to go back to California to go see my family. I honestly didn't even want to leave. The only reason I even came back to California and got to check myself into rehab is because of him. If it weren't for him pushing me, I would still be back in Philadelphia doing the exact same shit I was doing before.

So here's what happened. I had been smoking PCP cigarettes for close to a month straight on top of all the other drugs I was doing, I was doing it so often that I'm not even joking, I was tripping balls and feeling its effects for weeks after I stopped. I was tripping balls so hard, that I had an epiphany, and convinced myself that the universe was composed of a giant crack rock. And that's how the big bang started… was by some godly figure out there smoking a crack rock. And the crack rock exploded, and created all the planets and all the stars. Which makes sense, if you understand how crack pops and explodes as you smoke it. And suddenly, life made sense to me. The REAL reason life was so chaotic, and the reason societies and everybody's lives kept spiraling out and out of control, was because the universe was one giant crack rock. IT ALL. MADE. SENSE.

Like I said, I was already long fucking gone and had completely lost touch with reality long before I even made the decision to come here. So, I was at the airport getting ready to fly back to California, I was still hallucinating, still delusional, had been withdrawing from heroin and methadone for 72 hours. They had these TV screens by the gate, so while waiting to board the plane I was zoning out and watching TV to make time go by.

Well, on the TV screen, I saw that they were looking for a suspect who was apparently snatching children from West Philly neighborhoods and raping them. This apparently took place in West Philly, and the suspect was driving a red Volkswagen golf, which happened to be the exact same car that my boyfriend drove, and the exact same neighborhood that he lived in. The suspect was described as 5'10, black or Hispanic or "mixed race," and of a slim build, which is exactly the characteristics that my boyfriend could pass for. Exactly how many 5'10, mixed-race-looking guys in West Philly drove a red Volkswagen?

The first thing that I did when I got back to California, was that I phoned the Philadelphia police department, and I demanded to know the license plate number of the red Volkswagen the child rape suspect was driving. The officer on the line refused, saying that they weren't allowed to release that kind of information. I was like, "No, you'd better FUCKING TELL ME, right FUCKING NOW!!!!" I think the officer on the phone recognized the aggression in my tone of voice, and was worried that I was probably going to go out and track down the suspect and commit a homicide against him if she gave out his license plate to me. And she was right.

I was back at home, pacing around the room back and forth thinking to myself, "He FUCKING DID IT. I can't believe it. I swear to god, if he's fucking doing this, he is going to FUCKING DIE. There's no other choice. I HAVE to kill him."

I'm not even joking, I drew out a plan on a diagram, about how I was going to steal my parent's car, drive all the way to Philadelphia probably in under 3 days without even sleeping. I was going to stop by Arizona or Texas somewhere along the way, pick up a sniper rifle, and just park and sit outside of his house until he came out. And I was planning on shooting the motherfucker dead as soon as he came out of the house, because of my delusion. I even had my own suicide letter written out for afterwards. I didn't care how much money or time I spent. If I had to spend the rest of my life tracking this guy down just to have the satisfaction of shooting him myself, I was going to do it.

To me, there was no other way. I HAD to kill him to make things right. I was a citizen of the earth, and I was going to carry out swift justice, Crystal G style.

They ended up catching the guy by the way, and it wasn't my boyfriend. And I should have known that it wasn't him all along. But because I was so messed up in the head from all the drugs, and so completely detached from reality, I was just a ball of paranoia because at this point he was still somewhat of a stranger to me. And my paranoia was fueling my anger, and turning into homicidal rage because of it. It wasn't until I sobered up that I realized how delusional I was.

I remember accusing him of committing this crime while withdrawing, and his response was: "You think I'm out snatching kids off the street and raping them? Holy shit. Crystal, THOSE DRUGS HAVE FRIED YOUR BRAIN." :lol:

I'm sure to all you men out there, that is the worst accusation that anybody could ever possibly dream up of, and that would be your biggest fear and nightmare, to be falsely accused of something like that.

This wasn't even a realization that I had until recently. After I went and checked myself into detox on a whim, I had actually forgotten all about this happening. I just remembered this all of a sudden after 60 days clean and sober, and I realized, "Holy shit, I almost murdered my boyfriend because I was so fucked up and delusional on drugs." That's a scary thought! Because sober, I realize that he is the LAST person who would do something like that.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn't checked myself into detox. Would I have shot him? Maybe if I was lucky, would I have found myself driving back to the East Coast before reality sunk back in again, and I realized I was acting crazy? IF I was lucky. But what would have happened to my life then?

Suddenly, it made sense to me just how people could kill on PCP. It wasn't so much the fact that it made you aggressive and violent, it's the fact that it makes you lose touch with reality so far, that you begin to justify homicide to yourself.

I'm so glad I'm clean now. Thank you for listening to my story.


Edited by Crystal G (05/19/15 02:53 AM)


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: Crystal G]
    #21696945 - 05/19/15 01:26 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Wouldn't this be more reading then listening?


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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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Offlineblackhawk
Newton's Law of Majesticity
I'm a teapot


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21696953 - 05/19/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Only if you were reading out loud :wink:


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21696959 - 05/19/15 01:34 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

The Doobie Dude said:
Wouldn't this be more reading then listening?




Like I said, I'm planning on sharing this story at my NA meeting in a few weeks, but I like to write down my thoughts first, because they're all jumbled up and all the events are out of order in my head. So I need to write everything down, so the story is streamlined in a way that makes sense and isn't all scattered. So that's why I used the term "listening," because I will basically be reading off this when I share.

I don't know though. I'm kind of embarrassed by this story. I'm wondering if I should even share it at all. But I never ever share, never have even once, so I'm thinking maybe I should. I don't want to tell the typical junkie story you know, about my life falling apart and all that shit. I kind of want to share something interesting.


Edited by Crystal G (05/19/15 01:53 AM)


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: Crystal G]
    #21696960 - 05/19/15 01:36 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I was thinking the same thing


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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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Invisiblejboredone
Money-The root of all evil....
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Posts: 4,783
Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: Crystal G]
    #21696974 - 05/19/15 01:50 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

gonna go rub one off to some of your pics right now..... :firecum:


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Peace Pot Micro-Dot God Loves You High or Not!!!
In order to grow old and wise, you must once have been young and dumb!


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OfflineNova

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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: Crystal G]
    #21696985 - 05/19/15 02:00 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Damn philly to CA mid meltdown/withdrawal must have been intense, 6 hours stuck in a tiny airplane seat right next to all those people.


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: Nova]
    #21696999 - 05/19/15 02:18 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Nova said:
Damn philly to CA mid meltdown/withdrawal must have been intense, 6 hours stuck in a tiny airplane seat right next to all those people.




Dude on top of that, I had one plane transfer too. So the total trip was more like 10 or 11 hours, not including the drive to and back from the airport. Including the car drive, it was actually from 5AM and back home at 10PM. So it was like 15 or 16 hours. I was suffering so bad the whole time.

I was a complete mess, and kept dropping my suitcase and my bags and shit walking in and out of the airport. TSA was giving me instructions on how to take apart my bags, and I couldn't even do that right. I didn't even realize I was standing in the wrong line, and kept forgetting to walk up to the back of the line every time the line kept moving. I was so out of it.

Probably the only reason TSA didn't even bother searching me was for 2 reasons:

1) I was walking around clutching my hand over my ovaries, because the pain in my ovaries was killing me. It honestly felt like I was giving birth all over again. That's the only time somebody would have ovarian pain that bad. And because I kept clutching my stomach, while walking so slowly, and breathing so heavily, face so pale and lacking in color, it must have been pretty obvious to any onlooker that I was in pretty severe pain. I think everybody around realized I was either sick or pregnant or had something wrong with me, so nobody gave me that hard of a time about fucking up and dropping my shit everywhere.

2) I must have stunk so bad like rotten PCP cigarettes that TSA was like "Nope, fuck it, let her pass, get her out of here :lol: "--that stuff STINKS, especially when it accumulates and starts rotting, man. And I didn't shower for like a week on that stuff. So the combination of the smell of my old sweat, combined with the smell of old drugs accumulated and smelled so horrible, even I could smell how horrible I smelled. You could smell me from 10 feet away. I literally saw bystanders give a disgusted "What's that smell?" look on their face, and then shoot me really nasty looks lol. I felt so bad for the people sitting next to me on the plane. :lol:

I hadn't even slept in 48 hours by the time I got to the airport, which is part of what was making me so insane too. I remember laying in bed next to my boyfriend wide awake chewing gum all night for 3 nights straight, the last 3 nights I was there, not even using my phone or computer, just sitting in the dark hallucinating and thinking crazy thoughts. I'm talking seeing some end of the universe type shit, man!!! :lol:

I don't remember the plane ride all that well, I was sitting there on the plane zoning out, breathing heavily, chewing gum the entire time. I think I kept thinking about the future and all the ways my life could go wrong. But thankfully I don't remember the suffering on the airplane that well anymore.


Edited by Crystal G (05/19/15 02:53 AM)


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: Crystal G]
    #21697141 - 05/19/15 04:32 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Welcome back Crystal G, despite the smell of old accumulated drugs you're getting a hug :hug:

Yes you chainsmoking PCP is likely the cause of your unhinging, you stacked it so high that your round the clock blood levels mustve been quite intense.

Come to, find yourself. Heal.

You'll get it together again, you're made of strong stuff.


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineSeriously_trippin
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21697145 - 05/19/15 04:34 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Well this is the first post you've ever had that I enjoyed, I thought you were going to be the one killed in not to short of a time, either by the drugs or random crackheads. I have been very sad ever time I see you're situations. I could've tried to preach to you to stop but that wouldn't have done jack shit. Glad you came out this whole destructive path clean instead of dead. You seem like a nice girl with a troubled life, like a lot of us here.


I'm glad you're going uphill now and out of that (excuse my language) fucking crazy ass life style


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R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #21697159 - 05/19/15 04:48 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Thank you for sharing that.

I know it's the typical junkie story as you say, but I think someone might benefit from hearing it at your group.  Some people might think nobody has gone through what they have gone through and have a hard time getting clean because of that thought, but upon hearing stories like yours, you might give people hope.

I have been completely delusional as well from drugs, shooting cocaine/heroin for a decade rotted my mind, I am well now but it's amazing how far out there one can get.  Once you get sober you look back on that and think damn how did I live through that.

Anyway, nice to know you're doing better now.  Keep moving forward.


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©️


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G] * 8
    #21697161 - 05/19/15 04:49 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I only did PCP once and my best friend turned into Satan and tried to kill me, then I almost killed him. Then I shaved my long head of hair for a bowl of fruit loops. Once was enough for me.


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Invisibleluvdemboomers
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Shroomism] * 1
    #21697177 - 05/19/15 05:00 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
Then I shaved my long head of hair for a bowl of fruit loops.



:lol:


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: luvdemboomers]
    #21697180 - 05/19/15 05:05 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

To make matters worse the guy who said he would cut my hair said he had some buzzers but after I agreed to it all he could come up with was a rusty pair of scissors, so he chopped it all off with that, and it looked all lopsided and shit like a 2nd grade kid did it. That PCP is some whack shit. You will consider and do things you would never consider in normal reality, like chop your arm off.. and it wouldn't hurt.


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OfflineMescalean
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21697233 - 05/19/15 05:47 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Hey guys, so I was planning on sharing this story at this Narcotics Anonymous meeting that I consider to be my home group. But I'm more of an introvert and felt more comfortable sharing this story on the internet first.

So, some of you guys know the story about how I moved to Philadelphia and filed an application for a marriage license within 2 weeks of meeting some guy I met off the street and smoked crack with. So what happened was, I relapsed and everything spiraled out of control for me, so the last thing on my mind was even thinking about going through with the marriage license and getting married.

For me, this relapse was one the worst and the most severe relapses I've ever had. I was doing a bundle of dope a day (which is like the equivalent of 10-14 stamps for you people not familiar with East Coast terminology), and getting 40mg of methadone dose from the clinic on top of that. On top of THAT, I was smoking $100 worth of rock a day, AND smoking 6 PCP cigarettes on top of that. I didn't even realize until recently just how paranoid and delusional I was. 

I thought I could control it. Even 60 days after going to detox and rehab and getting sober, I've been having these thoughts. That it was the CRACK that made me lose control, that it was the heroin that made me lose touch with reality. I thought up until recently that smoking PCP was fine, I justified it to myself because it was just a hallucinogen, it was harmless. For me, PCP made me really chill and relax, I would just smoke it, chill out in bed and watch stupid TV like The Bachelorette. I had no idea how it could possibly make people violent.

But one day, it eventually drove me to the point of psychosis. The more drugs that I did, the more and more paranoid I started getting of this guy I was supposed to marry. Basically, the very first time that we met, I was wandering the streets of Philadelphia looking to score drugs. I had just moved there, it was Christmas time, I was all alone and was walking around in the cold outside to see who I could approach for some of that infamous East Coast China White. And I met this guy, and within like an hour of meeting him, we smoked crack and had sex together.  So basically, he was some random crackhead that I met on the street, and I was making plans within a week to fucking marry this guy. (We're still together BTW because he ended up being very sincere and lovable, but that only happened because I was extremely lucky. I definitely don't recommend anybody else make the choice that I did.)

I'm also very lucky, because my boyfriend was the one who convinced me to go back to California to go see my family. I honestly didn't even want to leave. The only reason I even came back to California and got to check myself into rehab is because of him. If it weren't for him pushing me, I would still be back in Philadelphia doing the exact same shit I was doing before.

So here's what happened. I had been smoking PCP cigarettes for close to a month straight on top of all the other drugs I was doing, I was doing it so often that I'm not even joking, I was tripping balls and feeling its effects for weeks after I stopped. I was tripping balls so hard, that I had an epiphany, and convinced myself that the universe was composed of a giant crack rock. And that's how the big bang started… was by some godly figure out there smoking a crack rock. And the crack rock exploded, and created all the planets and all the stars. Which makes sense, if you understand how crack pops and explodes as you smoke it. And suddenly, life made sense to me. The REAL reason life was so chaotic, and the reason societies and everybody's lives kept spiraling out and out of control, was because the universe was one giant crack rock. IT ALL. MADE. SENSE.

Like I said, I was already long fucking gone and had completely lost touch with reality long before I even made the decision to come here. So, I was at the airport getting ready to fly back to California, I was still hallucinating, still delusional, had been withdrawing from heroin and methadone for 72 hours. They had these TV screens by the gate, so while waiting to board the plane I was zoning out and watching TV to make time go by.

Well, on the TV screen, I saw that they were looking for a suspect who was apparently snatching children from West Philly neighborhoods and raping them. This apparently took place in West Philly, and the suspect was driving a red Volkswagen golf, which happened to be the exact same car that my boyfriend drove, and the exact same neighborhood that he lived in. The suspect was described as 5'10, black or Hispanic or "mixed race," and of a slim build, which is exactly the characteristics that my boyfriend could pass for. Exactly how many 5'10, mixed-race-looking guys in West Philly drove a red Volkswagen?

The first thing that I did when I got back to California, was that I phoned the Philadelphia police department, and I demanded to know the license plate number of the red Volkswagen the child rape suspect was driving. The officer on the line refused, saying that they weren't allowed to release that kind of information. I was like, "No, you'd better FUCKING TELL ME, right FUCKING NOW!!!!" I think the officer on the phone recognized the aggression in my tone of voice, and was worried that I was probably going to go out and track down the suspect and commit a homicide against him if she gave out his license plate to me. And she was right.

I was back at home, pacing around the room back and forth thinking to myself, "He FUCKING DID IT. I can't believe it. I swear to god, if he's fucking doing this, he is going to FUCKING DIE. There's no other choice. I HAVE to kill him."

I'm not even joking, I drew out a plan on a diagram, about how I was going to steal my parent's car, drive all the way to Philadelphia probably in under 3 days without even sleeping. I was going to stop by Arizona or Texas somewhere along the way, pick up a sniper rifle, and just park and sit outside of his house until he came out. And I was planning on shooting the motherfucker dead as soon as he came out of the house, because of my delusion. I even had my own suicide letter written out for afterwards. I didn't care how much money or time I spent. If I had to spend the rest of my life tracking this guy down just to have the satisfaction of shooting him myself, I was going to do it.

To me, there was no other way. I HAD to kill him to make things right. I was a citizen of the earth, and I was going to carry out swift justice, Crystal G style.

They ended up catching the guy by the way, and it wasn't my boyfriend. And I should have known that it wasn't him all along. But because I was so messed up in the head from all the drugs, and so completely detached from reality, I was just a ball of paranoia because at this point he was still somewhat of a stranger to me. And my paranoia was fueling my anger, and turning into homicidal rage because of it. It wasn't until I sobered up that I realized how delusional I was.

I remember accusing him of committing this crime while withdrawing, and his response was: "You think I'm out snatching kids off the street and raping them? Holy shit. Crystal, THOSE DRUGS HAVE FRIED YOUR BRAIN." :lol:

I'm sure to all you men out there, that is the worst accusation that anybody could ever possibly dream up of, and that would be your biggest fear and nightmare, to be falsely accused of something like that.

This wasn't even a realization that I had until recently. After I went and checked myself into detox on a whim, I had actually forgotten all about this happening. I just remembered this all of a sudden after 60 days clean and sober, and I realized, "Holy shit, I almost murdered my boyfriend because I was so fucked up and delusional on drugs." That's a scary thought! Because sober, I realize that he is the LAST person who would do something like that.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn't checked myself into detox. Would I have shot him? Maybe if I was lucky, would I have found myself driving back to the East Coast before reality sunk back in again, and I realized I was acting crazy? IF I was lucky. But what would have happened to my life then?

Suddenly, it made sense to me just how people could kill on PCP. It wasn't so much the fact that it made you aggressive and violent, it's the fact that it makes you lose touch with reality so far, that you begin to justify homicide to yourself.

I'm so glad I'm clean now. Thank you for listening to my story.





So after listening to this story. And having had multiple disagreements with you in the past. Just answer me this one question. How the hell am I or anyone else suppose to take any argument you throw at anyone seriously after reading that.


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FREE BURKE


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Shroomism] * 1
    #21697243 - 05/19/15 05:52 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

ik its fucked up but i wanna try pcp, like just to see...


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Tom Brady is a God

Free Tom Brady


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InvisibleCognitive_Shift
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21697245 - 05/19/15 05:54 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Just make sure it's not too entertaining.


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L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs


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OfflineOldgregg
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G] * 4
    #21697258 - 05/19/15 06:05 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

by clean you mean taking subs everyday and the occasional shoot up right?


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InvisibleDistorted Vision
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Oldgregg] * 2
    #21697271 - 05/19/15 06:16 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I don't understand why people freak on Crystal G so much. :shrug:

You know that saying " Live like you're dying " ?... She did this.

She made some good memories and had a lot of fun. I'll read this pcp story later.


--------------------


"Yo yo just here to spread my clit and show ya'll what a wonderful and free being we are all inside lets take the acid and turn inside into the outside come on over baby lets smell the roses ohh ohh come on we're about to get lit show my undies to your baby I'll hug it down three times go around frown come on we aint a nice clown kiss me upside down down down come on sorry if you cant handle my wokeness come on lets take her panties off write shroomery on my asshole and taste it lick it make if feel like we was 1978 come on baby lets do the locamotion"-Twig dude


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OfflineTurtletotem
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Distorted Vision] * 2
    #21697275 - 05/19/15 06:20 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Crystal, you know yourself best. People here be hating, but others are just glad you're okay. Keep that in mind.


--------------------


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Offlinefapjack
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #21697282 - 05/19/15 06:24 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I think I was the only one trying to tell you this was going to happen the last thread you made about getting married.  If you ever want sound advice, don't listen to people cosigning your bullshit.  Its hard, especially for people that really like drugs but some people can't seem to use drugs without completely destabilizing their mental health.


--------------------


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InvisibleAlmostAsCoolAs
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Bassfreak]
    #21697298 - 05/19/15 06:37 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Crystal, I have to ask because you seem to be doing well enough career wise to be able to afford all this but how? From personal experience I understand opiates can be an extremely productive drug but this just seems way too over the top.

How much longer do you think you can keep this up? I'm rootin' for ya.

Also I don't get why people quote the entire fucking OP to reply.
Quote:

Bassfreak said:
ik its fucked up but i wanna try pcp, like just to see...



If you like K you'll most likely love PCP just don't binge on it.


--------------------


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OfflineTheGreenArrow
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21697305 - 05/19/15 06:44 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

So...when is the wedding?


--------------------
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: TheGreenArrow]
    #21697343 - 05/19/15 07:02 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

I'm so glad I'm clean now. Thank you for listening to my story




You have a weird definition of clean. also, are you a trust fund baby or something? how the fuck do you afford a bundle of heroin, 6 Pcp cigarettes, and a fatass crack rock everyday? I think your exaggerating or straight up lying


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineTheGreenArrow
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21697367 - 05/19/15 07:13 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

She's highly intelligent and has a decent paying job.  But hell, that doesn't mean she couldn't hold down an addiction without money.  People are crafty little creatures my friend.


--------------------
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: TheGreenArrow] * 1
    #21697368 - 05/19/15 07:14 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

eh believe what you want I guess :shrug:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineTheGreenArrow
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21697386 - 05/19/15 07:22 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Also, Flapjack did call this one. :shrug:


--------------------
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: TheGreenArrow]
    #21697467 - 05/19/15 07:59 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

It is not really that big a deal as you make it mate..

You got to caught in the notions, and held no flux of emptyness in it.

You know.. all the revelations were true, but not in the way they were enacted, and you know that inside. The heart is to be trusted.. but one apt to learn to take enough time to figure things out, and not hop on every train coming your way.

"It just is"


--------------------
www.piday.org/million/


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OfflineTheGreenArrow
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Icyus]
    #21697476 - 05/19/15 08:01 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)



--------------------
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs


Edited by TheGreenArrow (05/19/15 08:02 AM)


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Oldgregg]
    #21697528 - 05/19/15 08:23 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Oldgregg said:
by clean you mean taking subs everyday and the occasional shoot up right?




I am taking subs, yes. But there is no occasional shoot up. I said I WANT a shot of oxy so fucking bad, I never said I actually went out and scored any. I'm actually on a taper and am down to 0.25mg subs 3 times a day now.

The use of subs is very controversial among many people within N/A, and even high-ranking people will disagree and argue with each other over whether subs are truly considered being "sober" or not.

I would say it depends on how you use them. If you're using it like as a maintenance dose, then no you are still on the path to sobriety. If you shooting 8mg doses, you are using it as a drug to get high on.

Frankly, sometimes the NA/AA people can be hypocrites. The people who insist "you must be 100% sober" are also the same people who are getting prescribed shit like trazodone and Seroquel, which are other mind-altering drugs. Saying you aren't "100% sober because you're on suboxone" is like saying "You aren't 100% sober because you drink Red Bull and smoke cigs."


Edited by Crystal G (05/19/15 08:48 AM)


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: TheGreenArrow]
    #21697555 - 05/19/15 08:35 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

AlmostAsCoolAs said:
Crystal, I have to ask because you seem to be doing well enough career wise to be able to afford all this but how? From personal experience I understand opiates can be an extremely productive drug but this just seems way too over the top.

How much longer do you think you can keep this up? I'm rootin' for ya.

Also I don't get why people quote the entire fucking OP to reply.If you like K you'll most likely love PCP just don't binge on it.




Thanks, man. At the time I was working as territory manager for a pharmaceutical company. The money wasn't super lucrative (not like multiple 6 figures or anything), but it was damn good especially for a druggie. I had tens of thousands of dollars saved up from working for them for months before I relapsed, and within like 2-3 months that money was all gone to drugs. :lol:

I was getting so desperate I even started thinking about escorting just to make ends meet. Every time I was coming down off crack, I would be on Craigslist searching for sugar daddies and messaging random guys who posted code words like "sugar baby" and "arrangement." Luckily that was right around the time my boyfriend made me go to rehab, so I never ended up having to resort to that. At least not THIS time, not THIS relapse anyway. It was when I was literally on my last leg standing and had lost all hope. I mean let's be honest, every hardcore addict has either done some shady shit or performed some sexual favors in exchange for drugs, and this goes true ESPECIALLY for crackheads.


Quote:

TheGreenArrow said:
So...when is the wedding?




I'm not even worrying about that right now. Like I said, I was originally getting married on a whim more for shock value. I feel much more comfortable to know that I am not forever legally tied to this person, because we're still in the process of getting to know each other. We're doing the long-distance thing right now and making plans to move, either once I start employment again or go back to school again in the spring.

I guess in the end this whole experience ended up being really good, because it made me decide to go back and finish my master's degree to become a drug therapist. I would like to open up my own rehab one day, one that doesn't follow the traditional 12 step model. I would like to open up a rehab that treats addicts in a completely different way.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Shroomism]
    #21697559 - 05/19/15 08:39 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
I only did PCP once and my best friend turned into Satan and tried to kill me, then I almost killed him. Then I shaved my long head of hair for a bowl of fruit loops. Once was enough for me.




LOL!!!! Hahaha, that's so weird. I never got delusional like that at all on PCP in the beginning. Honestly, it was such a chill drug for me. It was when I was tripping balls 24/7 AND withdrawing from opiates did my paranoia set in, and really start making me lose all touch with reality.

I've got to say, it's a very interesting state being under the influence of PCP for weeks at a time. The high becomes totally different. People say that there's an "alternate universe" type of high that you get when you are under the influence of ketamine for at least one week straight. And the same is totally true for PCP as well. I thought I was receiving messages from the universe and karma and shit, and I had life all figured out.


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21697601 - 05/19/15 09:09 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

its took me like 4+ months of daily ketamine before, suddenly, I was no longer right in the head.  It didn't creep up on me at all.


--------------------


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OfflineTurtletotem
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: teamkiller]
    #21697615 - 05/19/15 09:17 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:
its took me like 4+ months of daily ketamine before, suddenly, I was no longer right in the head.  It didn't creep up on me at all.




That's creepy. At least with weed, booze and mushrooms you get some sort of advance warning when things are going wrong.


--------------------


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OfflineHellogoodbyedeath

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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Turtletotem]
    #21697620 - 05/19/15 09:19 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Turtletotem said:
Crystal, you know yourself best. People here be hating, but others are just glad you're okay. Keep that in mind.



QFT

I'm very happy to know that you're alright, Crtystal.


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Turtletotem]
    #21697722 - 05/19/15 09:59 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Turtletotem said:
Quote:

teamkiller said:
its took me like 4+ months of daily ketamine before, suddenly, I was no longer right in the head.  It didn't creep up on me at all.




That's creepy. At least with weed, booze and mushrooms you get some sort of advance warning when things are going wrong.




eh, I mean IME, dissociative delusions aren't the sort of thing that are surprising, you really gotta be pushing it without break.  I also find them milder and easier to control than psychedelic delusions.  They fade when you take a break.


--------------------


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21697893 - 05/19/15 10:30 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I'm glad everyone's ok, and I'm glad that you're chilling out for a bit.  You sound like you went a few steps past a breakdown.  I think it is good you are making the effort to get to NA and I hope it goes well.  It sucks when you are trying so hard to do well, and even think you are making progress, and then other people want to come in and diminish that because of some ridiculous notion of sobriety.

Everywhere you go you can find some good people usually who will care enough to hear you out, and nobody should have to go thorough these things all alone, so it's just what you make of it really.

Just be patient and go easy on yourself, and use your stubbornness to your advantage.  Exercise, eat right, and drink plenty of water.  I almost feel like sub withdrawals are maybe manageable if you do everything right and take super care of yourself, but you can't be really fucking with drugs or alcohol.

Honestly I think suboxone ruins other drugs, for me at least, and makes experiences on other drugs overall pretty dreadful.  At times I think I'm just depressed/anxious in general, which I am, but when I did get clean one time a long time ago I remember I started to really like drinking, tripping, and smoking weed again.  Not necessarily in the sense that I would take these drugs all the time, which I did, but I genuinely enjoyed them in a way I almost forgot.


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21697958 - 05/19/15 10:49 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Glad to hear u made it through without hurting yourself or any others Crystal.

I hope u keep away from those drugs in the future. You have a good life ahead of you, and sobriety can be pretty fucking awesome.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineCj-B
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: ManianFH]
    #21698014 - 05/19/15 11:10 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
I only did PCP once and my best friend turned into Satan and tried to kill me, then I almost killed him. Then I shaved my long head of hair for a bowl of fruit loops. Once was enough for me.




:lol:


Quote:

fapjack said:
I think I was the only one trying to tell you this was going to happen the last thread you made about getting married.  If you ever want sound advice, don't listen to people cosigning your bullshit.  Its hard, especially for people that really like drugs but some people can't seem to use drugs without completely destabilizing their mental health.





I don't know why this wasn't immediately obvious. The whole blase "I've only gotten addicted in the past because I wanted to be" act that she used to justify smoking crack and doing heroin after being clean for half a year should've been pretty glaring to anyone with eyes. Either way though it guarantees that pretty much every Crystal G thread is either :rofldrunk: or :awewtf:


--------------------
"I have no way of knowing whether you, who eventually will read this record, like stories or not. If you do not, no doubt you have turned these pages without attention. I confess that I love them. Indeed, it often seems to me that of all the good things in the world, the only ones humanity can claim for itself are stories and music; the rest, mercy, beauty, sleep, clean water and hot food (as the Ascian would have said) are all the work of the Increate. Thus, stories are small things indeed in the scheme of the universe, but it is hard not to love best what is our own—hard for me, at least."


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OfflineAlmond Flour
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Cj-B] * 2
    #21698042 - 05/19/15 11:20 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Im at a loss for words. I seriously feel sad. Such a waste of ones life :facepalm: A beautiful girl with financial stability acting and doing shit like this. Horrifying to read :sad: She could have the world. A fucking perfect life sheltered from so much shit in this world. Instead pisses all over the blessing of good health, and financial security.

I feel more sad than I do angry.


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


Edited by Almond Flour (05/19/15 11:23 AM)


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OfflineTurtletotem
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Almond Flour]
    #21698062 - 05/19/15 11:25 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Her life, not yours.


--------------------


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OfflineAlmond Flour
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Turtletotem] * 7
    #21698089 - 05/19/15 11:34 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Turtletotem said:
Her life, not yours.



True, however the vast bulk of you support this type of shit from her. Its sick to watch. Riskey sexual encounters, drug abuse, Addiction, whatever circus act she is displaying here you folks cheer her on and encourage this type of shit. Your posts have a REAL WORLD EFFECT on other people.

You folks dont give a fuck about Crystal G you really fucking dont. Meanwhile I get crucified because Im amongst the few who call her out on this bullshit. All you people want from Crystal G is someone to validate your own destructive behavior, a freak show to witness, and nude photos. Not one of you fucking people give a rats ass when it comes to the manic shit she engages in  :commonsense: and you most definitely do NOT give a shit about Crystal G as a person


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


Edited by Almond Flour (05/19/15 11:35 AM)


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21698105 - 05/19/15 11:40 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Glad to hear you had fun in the Keystone State! :laugh:


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Almond Flour]
    #21698115 - 05/19/15 11:44 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I totally agree. It's like watching (or reading) a super fucked up reality show. Its basically just entertainment. And then when there's a RIP crystal g thread the same people will have the nerve to say "well she had it coming"


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Almond Flour] * 2
    #21698133 - 05/19/15 11:52 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Almond Flour said:
Quote:

Turtletotem said:
Her life, not yours.



True, however the vast bulk of you support this type of shit from her. Its sick to watch. Riskey sexual encounters, drug abuse, Addiction, whatever circus act she is displaying here you folks cheer her on and encourage this type of shit. Your posts have a REAL WORLD EFFECT on other people.

You folks dont give a fuck about Crystal G you really fucking dont. Meanwhile I get crucified because Im amongst the few who call her out on this bullshit. All you people want from Crystal G is someone to validate your own destructive behavior, a freak show to witness, and nude photos. Not one of you fucking people give a rats ass when it comes to the manic shit she engages in  :commonsense: and you most definitely do NOT give a shit about Crystal G as a person




:rofl: You are literally trying to make yourself into a martyr.  Just fucking stop, please.

I think you are jealous that she gets positive attention and you do not.  I assure you this is not some god testing your merit or any nonsense like that, you're just as crazy and intolerable, I assure you, and it is clear you're deeply unsatisfied with life so you develop a rich fantasy life full of delusions and self-righteous spiritual masturbation.  At least Crystal seems like a real person, and I think there are plenty of people here who actually do like her, as she is.  There is not a person that you wish Crystal G was, there is only Crystal G.


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OfflineAlmond Flour
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #21698142 - 05/19/15 11:54 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Quote:

Almond Flour said:
Quote:

Turtletotem said:
Her life, not yours.



True, however the vast bulk of you support this type of shit from her. Its sick to watch. Riskey sexual encounters, drug abuse, Addiction, whatever circus act she is displaying here you folks cheer her on and encourage this type of shit. Your posts have a REAL WORLD EFFECT on other people.

You folks dont give a fuck about Crystal G you really fucking dont. Meanwhile I get crucified because Im amongst the few who call her out on this bullshit. All you people want from Crystal G is someone to validate your own destructive behavior, a freak show to witness, and nude photos. Not one of you fucking people give a rats ass when it comes to the manic shit she engages in  :commonsense: and you most definitely do NOT give a shit about Crystal G as a person




:rofl: You are literally trying to make yourself into a martyr.  Just fucking stop, please.

I think you are jealous that she gets positive attention and you do not.  I assure you this is not some god testing your merit or any nonsense like that, you're just as crazy and intolerable, I assure you, and it is clear you're deeply unsatisfied with life so you develop a rich fantasy life full of delusions and self-righteous spiritual masturbation.  At least Crystal seems like a real person, and I think there are plenty of people here who actually do like her, as she is.  There is not a person that you wish Crystal G was, there is only Crystal G.




Is this how you define people? By their negative self destructive actions? Do You just throw your hands int he air and say "WELL THATS JUST ME"?

Grow up


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


Edited by Almond Flour (05/19/15 11:57 AM)


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Almond Flour]
    #21698155 - 05/19/15 11:59 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I don't define people, I allow them to define themselves.  I don't project negativity onto them, and I try to show compassion and relate where I can because I feel like it is shitty to use shame and isolation as a tactic to enforce conformity.


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OfflineAlmond Flour
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #21698165 - 05/19/15 12:02 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
I don't define people, I allow them to define themselves.  I don't project negativity onto them, and I try to show compassion and relate where I can because I feel like it is shitty to use shame and isolation as a tactic to enforce conformity.




Dude there is NO fucking problem with calling out bullshit when you see it. This isnt about conformity, its about telling someone when they are obviously on a one track ride to a VERY shitty life. There is nothing compassionate about nurturing and fostering behaviors that can seriously harm not only Crystal G but others as well which is what this thread is all about.


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Almond Flour]
    #21698191 - 05/19/15 12:14 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

the fuck are you even talking about it is a thread about some things she has been through as well as where she is at in recovery.  You're acting like you have some great insight here but honestly you're contributing nothing aside from making it clear that you are butthurt she gets more attention than you. 

Jesus had a problem with calling bullshit when you yourself are peddling bullshit :smirk: that is one thing I do remember from church.  I know Catholics though, being a hypocrite clearly comes first.


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Offlineipraytomushrooms
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #21698201 - 05/19/15 12:19 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

honestly your stories are fucking golden, but you need to cut the shit crystal.

it's either you get your shit together soon or you might as well just go shoot up dope in a Dennys bathroom until you OD, because we all know that's the path you've been heading for for a very long time

you're nothing more than a fucking crack head

you have some very hilarious and interesting adventures, but you're a delusional crackhead as well who has been putting on these antics for years, and at this point it's really just childish


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #21698258 - 05/19/15 12:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

How on gods green earth are you not fucking dead yet? You must be the luckiest fucking person on earth. If I walked out into philly alone looking to score dope I would be dead within the hour


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Distorted Vision] * 2
    #21698323 - 05/19/15 01:01 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Distorted Vision said:
I don't understand why people freak on Crystal G so much. :shrug:

You know that saying " Live like you're dying " ?... She did this.

She made some good memories and had a lot of fun. I'll read this pcp story later.



No.  She fucked up and she needs to stop fucking up.  She isn't 16.  Y'all know I am friends with her but this was a serious fuckup.  Do not excuse it.  She has so much going for her and to see her throw it away on this shit makes my heart hurt.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21698350 - 05/19/15 01:10 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
How on gods green earth are you not fucking dead yet? You must be the luckiest fucking person on earth. If I walked out into philly alone looking to score dope I would be dead within the hour



Right?? That's why I accused her of exaggerating in my last post. Like wtf?


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21698398 - 05/19/15 01:20 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

And pretty sure your boy toys a child rapist if they named his exact car and plates, so watch yo back girl:awesketch:


--------------------
:
To define is to confine.


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Offlineqman
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #21698425 - 05/19/15 01:26 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Crystal, did you just stop going to work at your company, or did they think something was wrong with you?  How did you end your employment?


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OfflineTurtletotem
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Almond Flour] * 1
    #21698461 - 05/19/15 01:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Almond Flour said:
Your posts have a REAL WORLD EFFECT on other people.



That is true, yes. It doesn't always seem that way, but I know from my own experience with this website that it is true.

Quote:

You folks dont give a fuck about Crystal G you really fucking dont.



I guess that is also true. Me, I do care, but considder it not my business to interfere with her life, and I also understand that it doesn't really matter what I say to her. I like her as a person, but other then that... we're not even friends, you know? Not my place nor yours. (Unless you are actually her friend and then I am a scumbag for ripping on you for it.)

Quote:

Meanwhile I get crucified


:rofl: you know you love it.
Quote:

because Im amongst the few who call her out on this bullshit. All you people want from Crystal G is someone to validate your own destructive behavior, a freak show to witness, and nude photos. Not one of you fucking people give a rats ass when it comes to the manic shit she engages in  :commonsense: and you most definitely do NOT give a shit about Crystal G as a person




Actually, you are completly right. :frown: I know I care, if only a little, because I was so happy she posted again after leaving us all uncertain if she was even alive.. but I did not care enough at all to call her out on her behaviour. :feelsbadman:

Crystal, if you are reading this, I am sorry. We don't know eachother that well, but you seem like a really chill person. It's your life, I said it and stand by it. But take care, please, for your own sake.


--------------------


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OfflineAlmond Flour
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Turtletotem]
    #21698465 - 05/19/15 01:37 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

ACtually I dont love it :bored: its been almost half a decade and I STILL can not post in the Sex forum because of the bullshit politics here


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21698477 - 05/19/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Jesus fucking Christ. WTF did I just read???

Crystal, you need SERIOUS mental help. You need to be followed very regularly by a psychiatrist. This sort of erratic behavior can only be justified by a severe bipolar condition.

You might think you're sane, but if any of your stories are even remotely true, you most definitely help...


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #21698482 - 05/19/15 01:42 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Mark my words folks, people like Crystal G dont die. They are the last ones to overdose, the last ones to be killed while buying drugs. They end up permanently fucking themselves over instead. Dealing with a lifelong physical or mental handicap from years of chronic abuse on their bodies.

At BEST this behavior ends with prison. Early enough to where your brain heals, and you have a chance of getting out and learning your lesson.

At WORST no one says a word, it continues to go on, and finally shes middle age, broken, with a mind that is emotionally unstable from years of drug addiction.


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Almond Flour]
    #21698483 - 05/19/15 01:43 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

:sonofawebitch:that was so heart felt. If I start having sex with crack heads and destroying my entire life will you write nice things about me  :Awemazing:


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Almond Flour]
    #21698489 - 05/19/15 01:44 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

very captivating title if I may say so myself


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OfflineTurtletotem
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Patlal]
    #21698495 - 05/19/15 01:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Bipolar eh?

Ey Crystal, if you justify your mad adventure because it was triggered by drug use, I want you to know this:
Two years ago I realized that everytime a manic episode was coming, I started drinking and doing drugs and hooking up with volitale women, and later use that as an excuse for my crazyness. Shrink told me that many bipolar people do that shit.

Think it over.
And I think you also need a hug.


--------------------


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OfflineDragonChaser
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G] * 2
    #21698556 - 05/19/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

How many people have said "I told you so" in this thread?

Crystal G: "I can use heroin recreationally!"
Everyone who wasn't speaking out their ass: "No... you can't"

Crystal G: "I'm gonna marry this dude I've known for 72 hours who I smoke crack with because we both love to sniff armpits and genitals!"
Most people on the shroomery: "That's a bad idea"


LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL


--------------------
My name is Mud


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Turtletotem]
    #21698560 - 05/19/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
How on gods green earth are you not fucking dead yet? You must be the luckiest fucking person on earth. If I walked out into philly alone looking to score dope I would be dead within the hour




My boyfriend would say that all the time. He knew I was going out every day to find random people to score from, and he was like "How the FUCK did you never got shot or robbed or anything?!??!" I was picking up random junkies off the street, rolling down my car window and calling out to them while they were walking down the street, and then letting them get in my car so I could drive them around and they would take me to a hot spot to score.

He was mystified that absolutely NOTHING ever happened to me. I let so many random guys into my car it's not even funny. And I did that all the time in Long Beach too, even guys who looked like they got straight out of prison with White Power and other gang neck and scalp tattoos. :lol:


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: DragonChaser]
    #21698564 - 05/19/15 02:09 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

DragonChaser said:
How many people have said "I told you so" in this thread?

Crystal G: "I can use heroin recreationally!"
Everyone who wasn't speaking out their ass: "No... you can't"

Crystal G: "I'm gonna marry this dude I've known for 72 hours who I smoke crack with because we both love to sniff armpits and genitals!"
Most people on the shroomery: "That's a bad idea"


LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL




Well, the people were only half right. The last one was actually not a half bad idea. Strangely enough, that guy ended up being the guy with almost all the qualities I was looking for in a partner.

I've heard stories like this. People from AA or NA talking about how they were strung out and met a cute boy after only 1 day sober, and they ended up getting married for 10 years. Life is strange and bizarre, it's not unheard of. Sure beats online dating, that's for damn sure.


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OfflineDragonChaser
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21698569 - 05/19/15 02:11 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:

I've heard stories like this. People from AA or NA talking about how they were strung out and met a cute boy after only 1 day sober, and they ended up getting married for 10 years. Life is strange and bizarre, it's not unheard of. Sure beats online dating, that's for damn sure.





I've hit meetings for a long time, and those stories are pretty uncommon.  There are wayyyy more stories warning against relationships so early in sobriety, you don't know how to be a healthy human being or have a healthy relationship when you're 1 day sober.


--------------------
My name is Mud


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: qman] * 1
    #21698717 - 05/19/15 02:57 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

qman said:
Crystal, did you just stop going to work at your company, or did they think something was wrong with you?  How did you end your employment?




I crashed the company car three times while lit as fuck, and I dropped and broke my company laptop twice while I was nodding. Because of that they asked me to take a drug test, and I refused, so I had no choice but to be terminated.

Now I can just sit back and collect unemployment for at least 2 months, so fuck it. I hated that job. Visiting gas stations in the hood all day? Ugh no thanks. The best thing about that job, and the only thing that I was looking forward to about it, was the fact that I was all alone in my car, so I could smoke crack in my car while on the job all the time. And I did. And boy was it great. Smoking crack while driving and working is the biggest rush ever. :lol:


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21698724 - 05/19/15 03:01 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Quote:

Distorted Vision said:
I don't understand why people freak on Crystal G so much. :shrug:

You know that saying " Live like you're dying " ?... She did this.

She made some good memories and had a lot of fun. I'll read this pcp story later.



No.  She fucked up and she needs to stop fucking up.  She isn't 16.  Y'all know I am friends with her but this was a serious fuckup.  Do not excuse it.  She has so much going for her and to see her throw it away on this shit makes my heart hurt.





In case you missed it.


--------------------


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21698752 - 05/19/15 03:09 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

qman said:
Crystal, did you just stop going to work at your company, or did they think something was wrong with you?  How did you end your employment?




I crashed the company car three times while lit as fuck, and I dropped and broke my company laptop twice while I was nodding. Because of that they asked me to take a drug test, and I refused, so I had no choice but to be terminated.

Now I can just sit back and collect unemployment for at least 2 months, so fuck it. I hated that job. Visiting gas stations in the hood all day? Ugh no thanks. The best thing about that job, and the only thing that I was looking forward to about it, was the fact that I was all alone in my car, so I could smoke crack in my car while on the job all the time. And I did. And boy was it great. Smoking crack while driving and working is the biggest rush ever. :lol:




:ifindthisboring:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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InvisibleLophosaurus
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21698835 - 05/19/15 03:30 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Crystal, Where is your kid while all of this PCP/crack smoking is happening?


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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21698865 - 05/19/15 03:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Crytal G, once again proving that there is no lower limit on her depravity.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Lophosaurus]
    #21698868 - 05/19/15 03:39 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I don't have kids. Not any live ones anyway. :lol: sorry that was a bad joke lol. No children.


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OfflineSoulidarity
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #21698985 - 05/19/15 04:11 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah that story was pretty far out there. I've dabbled in delusion and psychosis myself but never to that level of severity before.

The thing I hate about paranoia is how it jolts to conclusions. Like a normal person would hear something and start to think: is that possible? Could that have happened? And go from there. With paranoia it's the opposite. The same stimulus will jolt your brain with the realisation: THIS HAPPENED. And then you have to talk yourself down back to a regular mind state. The shit is ass backwards.

Like usually instincts are good, but once ones internal compass is un calibrated with paranoia, it can start to lead the person into all kinds of problems.

My solution is to just ignore everything. The real and the unreal. Sometimes I don't know which is which, or me misinterpreting or over embellishing the significance of things. Which causes problems in my communication skills because I ignore and cut people off and then they're all wtf. I just keep silent and don't respond though basically

So what happened with that sales job you had a while ago?? I remember you were in some kind of financial planning invesent role making good coin??


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21699176 - 05/19/15 04:58 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Good story thanks for sharing.


I've always been tempted to try PCP, but I'm just worried I'd become completely delusional and do something crazy...that I would regret haha.


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OfflineAsshat331
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21699189 - 05/19/15 05:03 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Holy shit, your stories are the best and another big reason i do mine in moderation and keep control of my impulsive girlfriend.

you're the tits crystal, i loved that WWE video and i hope you never stop posting here.:awethumb:


--------------------
Things change fast, but this too shall pass
Better carve it on your forehead or tattoo it on your ass
Cause who can tell, when the clock strikes twelve
If today’s become tomorrow or if it’s all just gone to hell



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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] * 1
    #21699214 - 05/19/15 05:09 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

qman said:
Crystal, did you just stop going to work at your company, or did they think something was wrong with you?  How did you end your employment?




I crashed the company car three times while lit as fuck, and I dropped and broke my company laptop twice while I was nodding. Because of that they asked me to take a drug test, and I refused, so I had no choice but to be terminated.

Now I can just sit back and collect unemployment for at least 2 months, so fuck it. I hated that job. Visiting gas stations in the hood all day? Ugh no thanks. The best thing about that job, and the only thing that I was looking forward to about it, was the fact that I was all alone in my car, so I could smoke crack in my car while on the job all the time. And I did. And boy was it great. Smoking crack while driving and working is the biggest rush ever. :lol:




:ifindthisboring:




:rofl2:


--------------------


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: MR14]
    #21699465 - 05/19/15 06:10 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

MR14 said:
Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

qman said:
Crystal, did you just stop going to work at your company, or did they think something was wrong with you?  How did you end your employment?




I crashed the company car three times while lit as fuck, and I dropped and broke my company laptop twice while I was nodding. Because of that they asked me to take a drug test, and I refused, so I had no choice but to be terminated.

Now I can just sit back and collect unemployment for at least 2 months, so fuck it. I hated that job. Visiting gas stations in the hood all day? Ugh no thanks. The best thing about that job, and the only thing that I was looking forward to about it, was the fact that I was all alone in my car, so I could smoke crack in my car while on the job all the time. And I did. And boy was it great. Smoking crack while driving and working is the biggest rush ever. :lol:




:ifindthisboring:




:rofl2:




If crystal g was a dude they'd all be bitching him the fuck out and telling him how irresponsible he is

:shrug:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21699490 - 05/19/15 06:16 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Crystal g never fails to entertain. Lol I wouldn't mind living in her shoes for like a week.

My life seems boring in comparison.


--------------------



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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: lets drive around]
    #21699549 - 05/19/15 06:37 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Conspiracy to commit murder is a serious crime you shouldn't be so detailed ... Although it was funny is a satirical way.


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:jah: everything i say is only a satirical joke, nothing serious man!:jah:




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Offlinejsncrs
DYEL

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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21699555 - 05/19/15 06:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Ever considered trying Ibogaine?


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
Mdmazing
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Registered: 07/23/14
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21699616 - 05/19/15 06:51 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
I don't have kids. Not any live ones anyway. :lol: sorry that was a bad joke lol. No children.



:awenuhuh:  :ifyoucanawe: not cool bro


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:
To define is to confine.


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21699624 - 05/19/15 06:53 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:


If crystal g was a dude they'd all be bitching him the fuck out and telling him how irresponsible he is

:shrug:




We had a chat but you won't see it here.  It is none of your business.


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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21699638 - 05/19/15 06:56 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Thats cool you talk to girls Zappa, its not like any of us do it :smirk:


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: jsncrs]
    #21699640 - 05/19/15 06:57 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

jsncrs said:
Ever considered trying Ibogaine?




Yes, I'm actually thinking about doing it, problem is suboxone withdrawal can last weeks, so the ibogaine treatment would be too expensive unless I were to take stay on a shorter-acting opiate like Oxy for 3 weeks or so.


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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21699663 - 05/19/15 07:02 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:


If crystal g was a dude they'd all be bitching him the fuck out and telling him how irresponsible he is

:shrug:




We had a chat but you won't see it here.  It is none of your business.





I'm glad im not the only one who sees it holy shit. And after reading what you did to the company car and laptop crystal dude... You've always atleast tried to come off as a responsible adult and i believed it for a bit when you posted about getting the new job and everything. But dude. This thread is full of retarded shit I wouldn't even do. I'm 23 have barely experienced life thus far and I am even playing it ultra safe and conservative since starting in the MMJ industry. I won't even pick up for friends anymore because of risk. Act like an adult dude this is how I'd expect some college girl to act whos rebelling against daddy.


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FREE BURKE


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #21699664 - 05/19/15 07:02 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Thats cool you talk to girls Zappa, its not like any of us do it :smirk:



I talk to more guys and you won't hear about them here either.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Mescalean]
    #21699701 - 05/19/15 07:09 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Mescalean said:

I'm glad im not the only one who sees it holy shit. And after reading what you did to the company car and laptop crystal dude... You've always atleast tried to come off as a responsible adult and i believed it for a bit when you posted about getting the new job and everything. But dude. This thread is full of retarded shit I wouldn't even do. I'm 23 have barely experienced life thus far and I am even playing it ultra safe and conservative since starting in the MMJ industry. I won't even pick up for friends anymore because of risk. Act like an adult dude this is how I'd expect some college girl to act whos rebelling against daddy.




Well it's not like I was intentionally trying to damage the car. Do you know how difficult it is to drive in cities like Philadelphia and Manhattan? Coming from California 'burbs I wasn't used to heavily congested city driving. The streets are super tiny and narrow, there's potholes everywhere, and there's a million pedestrians jaywalking in front of your car. And I had never driven in snow or ice prior to that either, so that added to the experience.

I'm a very clumsy person naturally, and I drop my phone and computer sober all the time. The drugs just made it worse.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Registered: 04/04/12
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: zappaisgod]
    #21699703 - 05/19/15 07:10 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:


If crystal g was a dude they'd all be bitching him the fuck out and telling him how irresponsible he is

:shrug:




We had a chat but you won't see it here.  It is none of your business.



That's nice


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21699710 - 05/19/15 07:12 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Mescalean said:

I'm glad im not the only one who sees it holy shit. And after reading what you did to the company car and laptop crystal dude... You've always atleast tried to come off as a responsible adult and i believed it for a bit when you posted about getting the new job and everything. But dude. This thread is full of retarded shit I wouldn't even do. I'm 23 have barely experienced life thus far and I am even playing it ultra safe and conservative since starting in the MMJ industry. I won't even pick up for friends anymore because of risk. Act like an adult dude this is how I'd expect some college girl to act whos rebelling against daddy.




Well it's not like I was intentionally trying to damage the car. Do you know how difficult it is to drive in cities like Philadelphia and Manhattan? Coming from California 'burbs I wasn't used to heavily congested city driving. The streets are super tiny and narrow, there's potholes everywhere, and there's a million pedestrians jaywalking in front of your car. And I had never driven in snow or ice prior to that either, so that added to the experience.

I'm a very clumsy person naturally, and I drop my phone and computer sober all the time. The drugs just made it worse.




Admits to being a Clumsy and shitty driver. Smokes crack while driving in NY traffic.. Brilliant


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21699715 - 05/19/15 07:13 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Mescalean said:

I'm glad im not the only one who sees it holy shit. And after reading what you did to the company car and laptop crystal dude... You've always atleast tried to come off as a responsible adult and i believed it for a bit when you posted about getting the new job and everything. But dude. This thread is full of retarded shit I wouldn't even do. I'm 23 have barely experienced life thus far and I am even playing it ultra safe and conservative since starting in the MMJ industry. I won't even pick up for friends anymore because of risk. Act like an adult dude this is how I'd expect some college girl to act whos rebelling against daddy.




Well it's not like I was intentionally trying to damage the car. Do you know how difficult it is to drive in cities like Philadelphia and Manhattan? Coming from California 'burbs I wasn't used to heavily congested city driving. The streets are super tiny and narrow, and there's a million pedestrians ever. And I had never driven in snow or ice prior to that either, so that added to the experience.

I'm a very clumsy person naturally, and I drop my phone and computer sober all the time. The drugs just made it worse.





Dude you know what I'm getting at, your at that point in life literally where you can choose to keep doing what you are doing. When was the last time you have actually tripped and had and introspective experience that makes you think "fuck..." about some of the shit in your life?


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FREE BURKE


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Mescalean]
    #21699723 - 05/19/15 07:15 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Mescalean said:
Dude you know what I'm getting at, your at that point in life literally where you can choose to keep doing what you are doing. When was the last time you have actually tripped and had and introspective experience that makes you think "fuck..." about some of the shit in your life?




Never. Any time I've tripped I've had severe panic attacks and anxiety attacks and it always turns into a really bad trip. So I haven't tripped in years. And even when I used to trip, I never had any regrets about my life.

NO REGRETS MAN. That's how it should be. Unless you killed or raped somebody or something. Then you should totally have regrets.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #21699729 - 05/19/15 07:16 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Admits to being a Clumsy and shitty driver. Smokes crack while driving in NY traffic.. Brilliant




Well in California I was never clumsy or shitty at driving. I have never been in an accident ever, in all my decades of driving in California. People on the East Coast drive completely differently than people in Cali. I'm not used to East Coast driving.


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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21699751 - 05/19/15 07:22 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Mescalean said:
Dude you know what I'm getting at, your at that point in life literally where you can choose to keep doing what you are doing. When was the last time you have actually tripped and had and introspective experience that makes you think "fuck..." about some of the shit in your life?




Never. Any time I've tripped I've had severe panic attacks and anxiety attacks and it always turns into a really bad trip. So I haven't tripped in years. And even when I used to trip, I never had any regrets about my life.

NO REGRETS MAN. That's how it should be. Unless you killed or raped somebody or something. Then you should totally have regrets.




Maybe you should try paying attention to that anxiety. The anxiety is whats wrong most of the time, not anxiety itself but what is causing the anxiety. Don't try to push it aside which I guarantee the ego does when you trip it's normal, I have an ego and doing that shit sucks, but you always get to a root problem in your life, it's the trip trying to show you what's up. Maybe Ibogaine would benefit you dude... Idk if mark emery or whatever his name is still does it, but canadia ain't bad. This behaviour for a mature but still younger woman who has/had a budding career isn't normal nor is it beneficial to your future dude


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OfflineDetached
You know where...


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Mescalean]
    #21699765 - 05/19/15 07:25 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

This has all been an interesting story.

I really hope the NA goes well for you.

:leaving:


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OfflineOldgregg
I'm old gregg!
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21699874 - 05/19/15 07:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Oldgregg said:
by clean you mean taking subs everyday and the occasional shoot up right?




I am taking subs, yes. But there is no occasional shoot up. I said I WANT a shot of oxy so fucking bad, I never said I actually went out and scored any. I'm actually on a taper and am down to 0.25mg subs 3 times a day now.

The use of subs is very controversial among many people within N/A, and even high-ranking people will disagree and argue with each other over whether subs are truly considered being "sober" or not.

I would say it depends on how you use them. If you're using it like as a maintenance dose, then no you are still on the path to sobriety. If you shooting 8mg doses, you are using it as a drug to get high on.

Frankly, sometimes the NA/AA people can be hypocrites. The people who insist "you must be 100% sober" are also the same people who are getting prescribed shit like trazodone and Seroquel, which are other mind-altering drugs. Saying you aren't "100% sober because you're on suboxone" is like saying "You aren't 100% sober because you drink Red Bull and smoke cigs."





cool, was just wondering what you're definition of 'clean' was.

good luck to you


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Oldgregg]
    #21699907 - 05/19/15 07:53 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

If you were going to get fired anyway, you should have taken the drug test.  Imagine the look on their face when they're like "heroin: yes, cocaine: yes, pcp...  : yes"


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: teamkiller]
    #21699980 - 05/19/15 08:21 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:
If you were going to get fired anyway, you should have taken the drug test.  Imagine the look on their face when they're like "heroin: yes, cocaine: yes, pcp...  : yes"




I totally thought about that and how funny that would be, but I also don't know how confidential these drug tests are, and I didn't want shit like that following me around.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21700017 - 05/19/15 08:34 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Was it gonna be a bloodtest, or did the catch you on the spot?  I'm sure somewhere in that city you could find some clean urine.  In any case it is probably a good thing to get out.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #21700201 - 05/19/15 09:27 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Was it gonna be a bloodtest, or did the catch you on the spot?  I'm sure somewhere in that city you could find some clean urine.  In any case it is probably a good thing to get out.




They surprised me with it man, they claimed we were just going to meet at 8AM in a hotel lobby just for a meeting, and they fucking blew this bombshell news onto me as soon as I got there. They blindsided me and I had no idea it was coming. If I knew about it I could have prepped in advance. They said that if I agreed to submit to drug testing, then they were going to drive me right then and there to the clinic, on the spot. I had no time or anything to prep.

They weren't joking about how the drug test either. They said they were planning on doing an EXTENDED drug test on me. They were probably going to test for shit like suboxone, methadone, salvia, shit that isn't on a standard panel test. So they must have suspected I was REALLY fucked up and they were trying REALLY hard to catch me.

Instead of going through the whole hassle already knowing I was going to test positive for at least 4 different drugs, I decided it was better to just dip out and spend that entire day smoking crack and PCP all day instead. Moar precious hours doing drugs! :crankey:


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21700399 - 05/19/15 10:33 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

That's crazy, but something must have been up.  I'm surprised I never crashed my car nodding off.  I woke up many times from a nod on the road :crazy:  I suffer from chronic restlessness as well, and sometimes it feels like it hurts to stop, but it's just too easy to run yourself ragged and end up miserable all the time.  You don't need to abandon your eyes open head first stance towards life, you just need to find a balance so you don't tip over.  To me it seems like you are doing that.  Stick with the taper and be patient for once :grin:


Edited by moonrockmushy (05/19/15 10:33 PM)


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OfflineTurtletotem
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #21700467 - 05/19/15 10:58 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Listen to Zappa!


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OfflineDragonChaser
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: Crystal G]
    #21708244 - 05/21/15 09:43 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
And I didn't shower for like a week on that stuff. So the combination of the smell of my old sweat, combined with the smell of old drugs accumulated and smelled so horrible, even I could smell how horrible I smelled. You could smell me from 10 feet away. I literally saw bystanders give a disgusted "What's that smell?" look on their face, and then shoot me really nasty looks lol. I felt so bad for the people sitting next to me on the plane. :lol:






You are the worst person I have ever heard of.

I wouldn't have let you get on the plane, if I was an airline employee.


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My name is Mud


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OfflineMoxyOx
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21708406 - 05/21/15 10:43 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

You've turned hollow.


--------------------
No one behind, no one ahead.
The path the ancients cleared has closed.
And the other path, everyone's path,
easy and wide, goes nowhere.
I am alone and find my way.


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OfflineCouperj
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: DragonChaser] * 1
    #21708421 - 05/21/15 10:47 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Dang kid. Get your shit together. Life can be pretty fucking great once you make peace with yourself.

Once we learn how to love ourselves, this behavior stops, as it no longer serves a purpose.  The drugs are a symptom of a bigger problem. A deeper issue. Something that you may or may not have any memory of. Mushrooms helped me tear down that wall. Cacti helped me learn to feel the love of the universe, and mother aya taught me to love myself. I've been off of opiates for nearly six years now and I don't think I could have done it without the help of these sacred plants.

Life holds purpose for me. My life has meaning. Every day is still a struggle, I've just learned better ways to cope. I found AA/NA to be helpful, especially in early recovery, but eventually my personal views began to conflict with some aspects of the program.

I do feel that dating in early recovery is a disaster waiting to happen as when things go south (and they will) it becomes the most basic yet effective justification to relapse. We've gotta learn how to feel and deal with our emotions and how to love our self before we try jumping into a relationship. 

You're not dead for a reason. But you might not survive another relapse.  You are alive and you've got a story to tell. So go on and tell tour story. Perhaps your courage will inspire others.

I wish you luck in your journey. Also, sub withdrawals are still opiate withdrawals.  Methadone is probably the worst to get off of, but if you are serious about taking your life back it won't matter.


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(¯`'·.¸(♥)¸.·'´¯) But suddenly you're ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you are alive and it is spectacular!


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Offlineeira
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: Couperj]
    #21722385 - 05/25/15 08:11 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Funny enough, I also left Philly and came back to California :lol:

Quote:

Crystal G said:
I was a citizen of the earth,




From one citizen to another

:heart:

Opening up your own rehab is a great dream :sun: Can't wait to see it blossom.


--------------------
:feelsgoodgurl:


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Invisiblemaggotz


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: eira]
    #21722698 - 05/25/15 09:21 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:


If crystal g was a dude they'd all be bitching him the fuck out and telling him how irresponsible he is

:shrug:




We had a chat but you won't see it here.  It is none of your business.



hahahahahaha


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OfflinePDU
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend [Re: maggotz] * 1
    #21722718 - 05/25/15 09:25 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Crystal - you are one of the only posters who has stories more outrageous than mine. I enjoyed reading this one - thanks for sharing.


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GO OUTSIDE.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21724507 - 05/26/15 11:32 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Hey guys, so I was planning on sharing this story at this Narcotics Anonymous meeting that I consider to be my home group. But I'm more of an introvert and felt more comfortable sharing this story on the internet first.

So, some of you guys know the story about how I moved to Philadelphia and filed an application for a marriage license within 2 weeks of meeting some guy I met off the street and smoked crack with. So what happened was, I relapsed and everything spiraled out of control for me, so the last thing on my mind was even thinking about going through with the marriage license and getting married.

For me, this relapse was one the worst and the most severe relapses I've ever had. I was doing a bundle of dope a day (which is like the equivalent of 10-14 stamps for you people not familiar with East Coast terminology), and getting 40mg of methadone dose from the clinic on top of that. On top of THAT, I was smoking $100 worth of rock a day, AND smoking 6 PCP cigarettes on top of that. I didn't even realize until recently just how paranoid and delusional I was. 

I thought I could control it. Even 60 days after going to detox and rehab and getting sober, I've been having these thoughts. That it was the CRACK that made me lose control, that it was the heroin that made me lose touch with reality. I thought up until recently that smoking PCP was fine, I justified it to myself because it was just a hallucinogen, it was harmless. For me, PCP made me really chill and relax, I would just smoke it, chill out in bed and watch stupid TV like The Bachelorette. I had no idea how it could possibly make people violent.

But one day, it eventually drove me to the point of psychosis. The more drugs that I did, the more and more paranoid I started getting of this guy I was supposed to marry. Basically, the very first time that we met, I was wandering the streets of Philadelphia looking to score drugs. I had just moved there, it was Christmas time, I was all alone and was walking around in the cold outside to see who I could approach for some of that infamous East Coast China White. And I met this guy, and within like an hour of meeting him, we smoked crack and had sex together.  So basically, he was some random crackhead that I met on the street, and I was making plans within a week to fucking marry this guy. (We're still together BTW because he ended up being very sincere and lovable, but that only happened because I was extremely lucky. I definitely don't recommend anybody else make the choice that I did.)

I'm also very lucky, because my boyfriend was the one who convinced me to go back to California to go see my family. I honestly didn't even want to leave. The only reason I even came back to California and got to check myself into rehab is because of him. If it weren't for him pushing me, I would still be back in Philadelphia doing the exact same shit I was doing before.

So here's what happened. I had been smoking PCP cigarettes for close to a month straight on top of all the other drugs I was doing, I was doing it so often that I'm not even joking, I was tripping balls and feeling its effects for weeks after I stopped. I was tripping balls so hard, that I had an epiphany, and convinced myself that the universe was composed of a giant crack rock. And that's how the big bang started… was by some godly figure out there smoking a crack rock. And the crack rock exploded, and created all the planets and all the stars. Which makes sense, if you understand how crack pops and explodes as you smoke it. And suddenly, life made sense to me. The REAL reason life was so chaotic, and the reason societies and everybody's lives kept spiraling out and out of control, was because the universe was one giant crack rock. IT ALL. MADE. SENSE.

Like I said, I was already long fucking gone and had completely lost touch with reality long before I even made the decision to come here. So, I was at the airport getting ready to fly back to California, I was still hallucinating, still delusional, had been withdrawing from heroin and methadone for 72 hours. They had these TV screens by the gate, so while waiting to board the plane I was zoning out and watching TV to make time go by.

Well, on the TV screen, I saw that they were looking for a suspect who was apparently snatching children from West Philly neighborhoods and raping them. This apparently took place in West Philly, and the suspect was driving a red Volkswagen golf, which happened to be the exact same car that my boyfriend drove, and the exact same neighborhood that he lived in. The suspect was described as 5'10, black or Hispanic or "mixed race," and of a slim build, which is exactly the characteristics that my boyfriend could pass for. Exactly how many 5'10, mixed-race-looking guys in West Philly drove a red Volkswagen?

The first thing that I did when I got back to California, was that I phoned the Philadelphia police department, and I demanded to know the license plate number of the red Volkswagen the child rape suspect was driving. The officer on the line refused, saying that they weren't allowed to release that kind of information. I was like, "No, you'd better FUCKING TELL ME, right FUCKING NOW!!!!" I think the officer on the phone recognized the aggression in my tone of voice, and was worried that I was probably going to go out and track down the suspect and commit a homicide against him if she gave out his license plate to me. And she was right.

I was back at home, pacing around the room back and forth thinking to myself, "He FUCKING DID IT. I can't believe it. I swear to god, if he's fucking doing this, he is going to FUCKING DIE. There's no other choice. I HAVE to kill him."

I'm not even joking, I drew out a plan on a diagram, about how I was going to steal my parent's car, drive all the way to Philadelphia probably in under 3 days without even sleeping. I was going to stop by Arizona or Texas somewhere along the way, pick up a sniper rifle, and just park and sit outside of his house until he came out. And I was planning on shooting the motherfucker dead as soon as he came out of the house, because of my delusion. I even had my own suicide letter written out for afterwards. I didn't care how much money or time I spent. If I had to spend the rest of my life tracking this guy down just to have the satisfaction of shooting him myself, I was going to do it.

To me, there was no other way. I HAD to kill him to make things right. I was a citizen of the earth, and I was going to carry out swift justice, Crystal G style.

They ended up catching the guy by the way, and it wasn't my boyfriend. And I should have known that it wasn't him all along. But because I was so messed up in the head from all the drugs, and so completely detached from reality, I was just a ball of paranoia because at this point he was still somewhat of a stranger to me. And my paranoia was fueling my anger, and turning into homicidal rage because of it. It wasn't until I sobered up that I realized how delusional I was.

I remember accusing him of committing this crime while withdrawing, and his response was: "You think I'm out snatching kids off the street and raping them? Holy shit. Crystal, THOSE DRUGS HAVE FRIED YOUR BRAIN." :lol:

I'm sure to all you men out there, that is the worst accusation that anybody could ever possibly dream up of, and that would be your biggest fear and nightmare, to be falsely accused of something like that.

This wasn't even a realization that I had until recently. After I went and checked myself into detox on a whim, I had actually forgotten all about this happening. I just remembered this all of a sudden after 60 days clean and sober, and I realized, "Holy shit, I almost murdered my boyfriend because I was so fucked up and delusional on drugs." That's a scary thought! Because sober, I realize that he is the LAST person who would do something like that.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn't checked myself into detox. Would I have shot him? Maybe if I was lucky, would I have found myself driving back to the East Coast before reality sunk back in again, and I realized I was acting crazy? IF I was lucky. But what would have happened to my life then?

Suddenly, it made sense to me just how people could kill on PCP. It wasn't so much the fact that it made you aggressive and violent, it's the fact that it makes you lose touch with reality so far, that you begin to justify homicide to yourself.

I'm so glad I'm clean now. Thank you for listening to my story.




hahaha great story

half of me is laughing and the other half of me really wants you to get clean. I dont kno you personally but I have seen tons of your posts and I really hope you get fully clean

good luck


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Posts: 3,311
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Oldgregg]
    #21724545 - 05/26/15 11:47 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Oldgregg said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Oldgregg said:
by clean you mean taking subs everyday and the occasional shoot up right?




I am taking subs, yes. But there is no occasional shoot up. I said I WANT a shot of oxy so fucking bad, I never said I actually went out and scored any. I'm actually on a taper and am down to 0.25mg subs 3 times a day now.

The use of subs is very controversial among many people within N/A, and even high-ranking people will disagree and argue with each other over whether subs are truly considered being "sober" or not.

I would say it depends on how you use them. If you're using it like as a maintenance dose, then no you are still on the path to sobriety. If you shooting 8mg doses, you are using it as a drug to get high on.

Frankly, sometimes the NA/AA people can be hypocrites. The people who insist "you must be 100% sober" are also the same people who are getting prescribed shit like trazodone and Seroquel, which are other mind-altering drugs. Saying you aren't "100% sober because you're on suboxone" is like saying "You aren't 100% sober because you drink Red Bull and smoke cigs."





cool, was just wondering what you're definition of 'clean' was.

good luck to you




I just started attending NA/AA meetings last week. And I've noticed as well that most everyone is pounding the free coffee and smoke so many cigerettes it can stink if it's a smaller meeting room. Even though they are smoking outside.

Just something I never thought of, those are totally some type of crutch, or whatever it's called.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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InvisibleBridgeburner
Not spiritual at all.
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 20,010
Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Supachopped719]
    #21724661 - 05/26/15 12:17 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Enough of this pampering Earth Citizen shit. Do you white knights realize she probably isn't going to fuck you, right? She is a danger to other people around her and it would be probably better if she had OD'd and died. She will cause a death somehow and walk away with barely a scratch. This whole rehab story is another period of her acting like she wants to stop but its just some downtime before she gears up again for some risky behaviour and kill a jaywalker or someone completely unrelated to her mental issues. She should be locked up, at least.


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #21724681 - 05/26/15 12:23 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

^^I've actually saved lives. Saved one of my friends from an O.D. by administering CPR and calling 911. Most junkies would be too afraid to call 911 and would have ditched the body.

I mean sure I might kill my boyfriend one day, but that would only be to teach that motherfucker a lesson. :rofl2: jk lol


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Offlinetopdog82
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Registered: 07/16/10
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21724725 - 05/26/15 12:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Bridgeburner said:
Enough of this pampering Earth Citizen shit. Do you white knights realize she probably isn't going to fuck you, right? She is a danger to other people around her and it would be probably better if she had OD'd and died. She will cause a death somehow and walk away with barely a scratch. This whole rehab story is another period of her acting like she wants to stop but its just some downtime before she gears up again for some risky behaviour and kill a jaywalker or someone completely unrelated to her mental issues. She should be locked up, at least.



thanks for the sermon bro

:philososloth:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
^^I've actually saved lives. Saved one of my friends from an O.D. by administering CPR and calling 911. Most junkies would be too afraid to call 911 and would have ditched the body.

I mean sure I might kill my boyfriend one day, but that would only be to teach that motherfucker a lesson. :rofl2: jk lol



how long have you been clean now?


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: topdog82]
    #21724732 - 05/26/15 12:39 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Since March 14th or so. I don't remember the exact day my last dose was, but I remember my plane ride to Cali was the Monday after that, and I had been withdrawing for at least 48 hours or so. So I'm guessing it was the 14th. Recently got my 60 day chip.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #21724738 - 05/26/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Bridgeburner said:
Enough of this pampering Earth Citizen shit. Do you white knights realize she probably isn't going to fuck you, right?




I will denounce her if you fuck me.


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Invisiblerackem
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Registered: 11/27/09
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21724746 - 05/26/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

least aa/na is better than murder charges.. glad you are clean.


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Offlinetopdog82
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
    #21724788 - 05/26/15 12:57 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Since March 14th or so. I don't remember the exact day my last dose was, but I remember my plane ride to Cali was the Monday after that, and I had been withdrawing for at least 48 hours or so. So I'm guessing it was the 14th. Recently got my 60 day chip.



well congrats on that

Please stay that way. I worry for fellow shroomerites


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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: topdog82] * 1
    #21725146 - 05/26/15 02:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

topdog82 said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Since March 14th or so. I don't remember the exact day my last dose was, but I remember my plane ride to Cali was the Monday after that, and I had been withdrawing for at least 48 hours or so. So I'm guessing it was the 14th. Recently got my 60 day chip.



well congrats on that

Please stay that way. I worry for fellow shroomerites




Congrats on 60 days!


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: topdog82]
    #21725166 - 05/26/15 02:54 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

topdog82 said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Since March 14th or so. I don't remember the exact day my last dose was, but I remember my plane ride to Cali was the Monday after that, and I had been withdrawing for at least 48 hours or so. So I'm guessing it was the 14th. Recently got my 60 day chip.



well congrats on that

Please stay that way. I worry for fellow shroomerites



She's a good one to worry about.  She has so much going for her and she is so prone to fucking up it makes it all so sad.  She is not your garden variety idiot who makes bad decisions and I do not know why she does.


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #21725172 - 05/26/15 02:56 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Bridgeburner said:
Enough of this pampering Earth Citizen shit. Do you white knights realize she probably isn't going to fuck you, right? She is a danger to other people around her and it would be probably better if she had OD'd and died. She will cause a death somehow and walk away with barely a scratch. This whole rehab story is another period of her acting like she wants to stop but its just some downtime before she gears up again for some risky behaviour and kill a jaywalker or someone completely unrelated to her mental issues. She should be locked up, at least.




--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #21725202 - 05/26/15 03:04 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Crystal, I sure hope you decide that your life is unmanageable and that you're powerless over these substances. My advice as a AA sponsor would be to latch on to a woman in the program that has been through similar stuff and turned their lives around with the steps. Ask that person to be your sponsor and do as they say. I say this as a person that survived the streets of Philly and New Orleans looking for drugs cocaine like you were 20 years ago.

I would also recommend staying away from any drug that has opiate like effects...IME, people that try this almost always fail when their supply gets cut off for some reason. You're better off tapering ff the subs and staying the fuck away from anything that has similar effects. You mention that some people in AA/NA use other mind altering drugs...there are a shit ton of people in theses programs with other conditions and some need medication to cope. I have personally witnessed a friends death by hanging after listening to some old fuck tell her that she shouldn't be taking any meds when she was so Bi-polar that a kindergartner could have diagnosed her.

Don't try to half ass this program...It doesn't work. I say this with love and from experience. I really hope that you get it this time and yes, I will include you in my prayers because I don't know who's prayer helped to get me sober.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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