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fapjack
Title



Registered: 07/26/07
Posts: 16,574
Loc: Central New Jersey
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G] 1
#21697282 - 05/19/15 06:24 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I think I was the only one trying to tell you this was going to happen the last thread you made about getting married. If you ever want sound advice, don't listen to people cosigning your bullshit. Its hard, especially for people that really like drugs but some people can't seem to use drugs without completely destabilizing their mental health.
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AlmostAsCoolAs


Registered: 11/14/09
Posts: 7,215
Loc: California
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Bassfreak]
#21697298 - 05/19/15 06:37 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Crystal, I have to ask because you seem to be doing well enough career wise to be able to afford all this but how? From personal experience I understand opiates can be an extremely productive drug but this just seems way too over the top.
How much longer do you think you can keep this up? I'm rootin' for ya.
Also I don't get why people quote the entire fucking OP to reply.Quote:
Bassfreak said: ik its fucked up but i wanna try pcp, like just to see...
If you like K you'll most likely love PCP just don't binge on it.
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
#21697305 - 05/19/15 06:44 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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So...when is the wedding?
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: TheGreenArrow]
#21697343 - 05/19/15 07:02 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
I'm so glad I'm clean now. Thank you for listening to my story
You have a weird definition of clean. also, are you a trust fund baby or something? how the fuck do you afford a bundle of heroin, 6 Pcp cigarettes, and a fatass crack rock everyday? I think your exaggerating or straight up lying
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21697367 - 05/19/15 07:13 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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She's highly intelligent and has a decent paying job. But hell, that doesn't mean she couldn't hold down an addiction without money. People are crafty little creatures my friend.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: TheGreenArrow] 1
#21697368 - 05/19/15 07:14 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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eh believe what you want I guess
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
#21697386 - 05/19/15 07:22 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Also, Flapjack did call this one.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 28 days
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: TheGreenArrow]
#21697467 - 05/19/15 07:59 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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It is not really that big a deal as you make it mate..
You got to caught in the notions, and held no flux of emptyness in it.
You know.. all the revelations were true, but not in the way they were enacted, and you know that inside. The heart is to be trusted.. but one apt to learn to take enough time to figure things out, and not hop on every train coming your way.
"It just is"
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Icyus]
#21697476 - 05/19/15 08:01 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
Edited by TheGreenArrow (05/19/15 08:02 AM)
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Oldgregg]
#21697528 - 05/19/15 08:23 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Oldgregg said: by clean you mean taking subs everyday and the occasional shoot up right?
I am taking subs, yes. But there is no occasional shoot up. I said I WANT a shot of oxy so fucking bad, I never said I actually went out and scored any. I'm actually on a taper and am down to 0.25mg subs 3 times a day now.
The use of subs is very controversial among many people within N/A, and even high-ranking people will disagree and argue with each other over whether subs are truly considered being "sober" or not.
I would say it depends on how you use them. If you're using it like as a maintenance dose, then no you are still on the path to sobriety. If you shooting 8mg doses, you are using it as a drug to get high on.
Frankly, sometimes the NA/AA people can be hypocrites. The people who insist "you must be 100% sober" are also the same people who are getting prescribed shit like trazodone and Seroquel, which are other mind-altering drugs. Saying you aren't "100% sober because you're on suboxone" is like saying "You aren't 100% sober because you drink Red Bull and smoke cigs."
Edited by Crystal G (05/19/15 08:48 AM)
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: TheGreenArrow]
#21697555 - 05/19/15 08:35 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
AlmostAsCoolAs said: Crystal, I have to ask because you seem to be doing well enough career wise to be able to afford all this but how? From personal experience I understand opiates can be an extremely productive drug but this just seems way too over the top.
How much longer do you think you can keep this up? I'm rootin' for ya.
Also I don't get why people quote the entire fucking OP to reply.If you like K you'll most likely love PCP just don't binge on it.
Thanks, man. At the time I was working as territory manager for a pharmaceutical company. The money wasn't super lucrative (not like multiple 6 figures or anything), but it was damn good especially for a druggie. I had tens of thousands of dollars saved up from working for them for months before I relapsed, and within like 2-3 months that money was all gone to drugs.
I was getting so desperate I even started thinking about escorting just to make ends meet. Every time I was coming down off crack, I would be on Craigslist searching for sugar daddies and messaging random guys who posted code words like "sugar baby" and "arrangement." Luckily that was right around the time my boyfriend made me go to rehab, so I never ended up having to resort to that. At least not THIS time, not THIS relapse anyway. It was when I was literally on my last leg standing and had lost all hope. I mean let's be honest, every hardcore addict has either done some shady shit or performed some sexual favors in exchange for drugs, and this goes true ESPECIALLY for crackheads.
Quote:
TheGreenArrow said: So...when is the wedding?
I'm not even worrying about that right now. Like I said, I was originally getting married on a whim more for shock value. I feel much more comfortable to know that I am not forever legally tied to this person, because we're still in the process of getting to know each other. We're doing the long-distance thing right now and making plans to move, either once I start employment again or go back to school again in the spring.
I guess in the end this whole experience ended up being really good, because it made me decide to go back and finish my master's degree to become a drug therapist. I would like to open up my own rehab one day, one that doesn't follow the traditional 12 step model. I would like to open up a rehab that treats addicts in a completely different way.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Shroomism]
#21697559 - 05/19/15 08:39 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomism said: I only did PCP once and my best friend turned into Satan and tried to kill me, then I almost killed him. Then I shaved my long head of hair for a bowl of fruit loops. Once was enough for me.
LOL!!!! Hahaha, that's so weird. I never got delusional like that at all on PCP in the beginning. Honestly, it was such a chill drug for me. It was when I was tripping balls 24/7 AND withdrawing from opiates did my paranoia set in, and really start making me lose all touch with reality.
I've got to say, it's a very interesting state being under the influence of PCP for weeks at a time. The high becomes totally different. People say that there's an "alternate universe" type of high that you get when you are under the influence of ketamine for at least one week straight. And the same is totally true for PCP as well. I thought I was receiving messages from the universe and karma and shit, and I had life all figured out.
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teamkiller
ghetto drama whore



Registered: 06/06/11
Posts: 8,806
Last seen: 3 months, 12 days
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
#21697601 - 05/19/15 09:09 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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its took me like 4+ months of daily ketamine before, suddenly, I was no longer right in the head. It didn't creep up on me at all.
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: teamkiller]
#21697615 - 05/19/15 09:17 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
teamkiller said: its took me like 4+ months of daily ketamine before, suddenly, I was no longer right in the head. It didn't creep up on me at all.
That's creepy. At least with weed, booze and mushrooms you get some sort of advance warning when things are going wrong.
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Hellogoodbyedeath

Registered: 03/24/12
Posts: 2,904
Loc:
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Turtletotem]
#21697620 - 05/19/15 09:19 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Turtletotem said: Crystal, you know yourself best. People here be hating, but others are just glad you're okay. Keep that in mind.
QFT
I'm very happy to know that you're alright, Crtystal.
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teamkiller
ghetto drama whore



Registered: 06/06/11
Posts: 8,806
Last seen: 3 months, 12 days
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Turtletotem]
#21697722 - 05/19/15 09:59 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Turtletotem said:
Quote:
teamkiller said: its took me like 4+ months of daily ketamine before, suddenly, I was no longer right in the head. It didn't creep up on me at all.
That's creepy. At least with weed, booze and mushrooms you get some sort of advance warning when things are going wrong.
eh, I mean IME, dissociative delusions aren't the sort of thing that are surprising, you really gotta be pushing it without break. I also find them milder and easier to control than psychedelic delusions. They fade when you take a break.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
#21697893 - 05/19/15 10:30 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm glad everyone's ok, and I'm glad that you're chilling out for a bit. You sound like you went a few steps past a breakdown. I think it is good you are making the effort to get to NA and I hope it goes well. It sucks when you are trying so hard to do well, and even think you are making progress, and then other people want to come in and diminish that because of some ridiculous notion of sobriety.
Everywhere you go you can find some good people usually who will care enough to hear you out, and nobody should have to go thorough these things all alone, so it's just what you make of it really.
Just be patient and go easy on yourself, and use your stubbornness to your advantage. Exercise, eat right, and drink plenty of water. I almost feel like sub withdrawals are maybe manageable if you do everything right and take super care of yourself, but you can't be really fucking with drugs or alcohol.
Honestly I think suboxone ruins other drugs, for me at least, and makes experiences on other drugs overall pretty dreadful. At times I think I'm just depressed/anxious in general, which I am, but when I did get clean one time a long time ago I remember I started to really like drinking, tripping, and smoking weed again. Not necessarily in the sense that I would take these drugs all the time, which I did, but I genuinely enjoyed them in a way I almost forgot.
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 2 hours, 25 minutes
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Crystal G]
#21697958 - 05/19/15 10:49 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Glad to hear u made it through without hurting yourself or any others Crystal.
I hope u keep away from those drugs in the future. You have a good life ahead of you, and sobriety can be pretty fucking awesome.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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Cj-B
All the same...I saw it first.



Registered: 07/16/11
Posts: 4,479
Loc: The Library of Babel
Last seen: 4 years, 14 days
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: ManianFH]
#21698014 - 05/19/15 11:10 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomism said: I only did PCP once and my best friend turned into Satan and tried to kill me, then I almost killed him. Then I shaved my long head of hair for a bowl of fruit loops. Once was enough for me.

Quote:
fapjack said: I think I was the only one trying to tell you this was going to happen the last thread you made about getting married. If you ever want sound advice, don't listen to people cosigning your bullshit. Its hard, especially for people that really like drugs but some people can't seem to use drugs without completely destabilizing their mental health.
I don't know why this wasn't immediately obvious. The whole blase "I've only gotten addicted in the past because I wanted to be" act that she used to justify smoking crack and doing heroin after being clean for half a year should've been pretty glaring to anyone with eyes. Either way though it guarantees that pretty much every Crystal G thread is either or
-------------------- "I have no way of knowing whether you, who eventually will read this record, like stories or not. If you do not, no doubt you have turned these pages without attention. I confess that I love them. Indeed, it often seems to me that of all the good things in the world, the only ones humanity can claim for itself are stories and music; the rest, mercy, beauty, sleep, clean water and hot food (as the Ascian would have said) are all the work of the Increate. Thus, stories are small things indeed in the scheme of the universe, but it is hard not to love best what is our own—hard for me, at least."
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: PCP Made Me Delusional and I Almost Murdered My Boyfriend (A Long Story) [Re: Cj-B] 2
#21698042 - 05/19/15 11:20 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Im at a loss for words. I seriously feel sad. Such a waste of ones life A beautiful girl with financial stability acting and doing shit like this. Horrifying to read She could have the world. A fucking perfect life sheltered from so much shit in this world. Instead pisses all over the blessing of good health, and financial security.
I feel more sad than I do angry.
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
Edited by Almond Flour (05/19/15 11:23 AM)
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