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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships?
#21695762 - 05/18/15 07:54 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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im gonna be 22 years old in september and i have been single my whole life, i have never had a relationship before. Its not because im not attractive or anything, i actually love the way i look, been weight training heavily almost at the patrick bateman physique.(just gotta cut and maybe put on a wee bit more mass)
but i dont hangout with my friends that much because of work and hobbies and whatnot. annyways, i have been noticing that the further i go without having this experience of companionship the further my mind is drifting into complete mush.
Im going all mind over matter that i'll be perfectly fine mentally but i cant help but wonder if the stress of this failure to bloom is what helped trigger my psychosis a while back. im just trying to focus on my hobbies and getting ready to go to college and try to ignore this pain but holy fuck, my mental faculties are starting to unhinge themselves.
Just overwhelming anxiety pretty much all day and about 3-4 times a day i'll just start crying but laughing hysterically at the same time coupled with intense morning depression. I know its probably whinny to say this but it kind feels like im dying. I don't know, its kind intense and i have to use an insane amount mental power to try to make progress on things so im not falling behind in life. Like im walking around with a shit tone of weight or like im fucking starving to death.
Ooobvioussly this puts me in a sticky situation because this makes me qualify as despite so the universe usually doesn't like giving you things if you think you need it.
So basically im an Ethiopian kid starving for something to eat but i cannot ask for food because im in need. 
Like what i kinda need is just someone i could cuddle for a bit because i feel like the energy from that would recharge whatever the fuck is going on with me. but im going to school in september and im worried i will have no time to focus on anything or anyone but that so im sort of fucked because it seems like this issue is getting worse and worse the more i dont take serious action to remedy or deal with it.
It is causing me to be in a situation where attempting to go through school with this baggage would make it impossible for me to achieve success in school.
Would school be a bad idea to go through if i dont fix this first?
thanks for the help
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WeAreAnchors
Human


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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21695786 - 05/18/15 08:04 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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its coo maynge dont worry
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21695820 - 05/18/15 08:11 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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it kinda feels like a saw movie challenge :S
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21695842 - 05/18/15 08:15 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I have some similar problems with anxiety and add. Meds help to a point but other people really do help, ones that feel natural to be around, not people you have to change for...
--------------------
  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: goldcaphunter]
#21695853 - 05/18/15 08:17 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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not into meds, i just smoke weed a little bit to help with the intensity of the anxiety.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
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goldcaphunter
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21695868 - 05/18/15 08:18 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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To each there own I guess, the second option sticks though. Just try I guess, I know it's hard man
--------------------
  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: goldcaphunter]
#21695890 - 05/18/15 08:22 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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yeah i have just been isolated from friends a lot of its very rare for me to meet new people.
bah i dont know why its effecting me so much, i always like to try to be strong its really getting hard to keep the messed up me from slipping through the cracks of my poker face of kept togetherness.
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Edited by SleepyE (05/18/15 08:31 PM)
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21695905 - 05/18/15 08:24 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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my life feels like solitary confinement and very prone to psychosis when left alone with my own mind for too long of periods of time. like weeks or months without talking to someone.
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Edited by SleepyE (05/18/15 08:25 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21695925 - 05/18/15 08:27 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Women from Russia seeking men online for love and marriage.

Here is my profile and here are my photos. My personality will not let you be bored or tired of me. Wink I should expose another part of me to YOU
http://www.alena-marriage-agency.com/vali90.html
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21695929 - 05/18/15 08:28 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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not what i had in mindd...
why is there ads on shroomery now? dah fuk.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
Edited by SleepyE (05/18/15 08:29 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21695950 - 05/18/15 08:34 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Ontario hooker?

Sex worker Nikki Thomas talks about normalizing her profession in the light of Ontario's prostitution ruling
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21695953 - 05/18/15 08:35 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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noooo thanx.....
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE] 1
#21695969 - 05/18/15 08:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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A Vietnamese massage
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#21695981 - 05/18/15 08:40 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm down
--------------------
  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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WeAreAnchors
Human


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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: goldcaphunter]
#21696141 - 05/18/15 09:14 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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LOL you guys are something else
I'm in kind of the same situation but recently had a near-death experience and i dont even give a fuck anymore dude. Every breath is truly a miracle, to be a human being is awesome, bro.
eat like 1-2 grams of cube fruits znd go somewhere and meet some girls!
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Edited by WeAreAnchors (05/18/15 09:16 PM)
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: WeAreAnchors]
#21696230 - 05/18/15 09:33 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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i'd love too but i never get out anymore, my work steals my fridays and saturdays so i cant hang out with my friends, so im left alone with my thoughts for waaaay longer than whats probably healthy.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21696236 - 05/18/15 09:34 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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like seriously i go weeks without talking to someone, thats not fucking normal.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21696238 - 05/18/15 09:34 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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We all need some sort of social contact and companionship, We're social critters. It just varies. I have maybe 5 good friends whom I'm in contact a handful of time a month, and I'm okay with that. I'm a bit of a hermit, always have been. And as far as being in a relationship, don't worry about it. 22 is pretty young so you've plenty of time. And college is a great way to meet the ladies.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Le_Canard]
#21696249 - 05/18/15 09:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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i just feel like there is something psychologically not right with me in the sense that it hasent happened for me.
im starting to think something is seriously wrong with me.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21696263 - 05/18/15 09:40 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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its probably just cuz i barely ever meet new people but i love to but its soo rare for me.
very very rare.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21696277 - 05/18/15 09:44 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Are there any hobbies or activities you like to do? Many have clubs where you can go and meet like-minded folks.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Le_Canard]
#21696293 - 05/18/15 09:46 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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i could meet people if i didnt have this job.
they want me to work friday and saturday for the rest of my life and its not healthy for me right now because it causes me to become heavily isolated against my will.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21696302 - 05/18/15 09:48 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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i just cant stand it anymore, i just want to talk to someone outside.
my mind is boiling from this loneliness and isolation. im not thinking clearly or properly.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21696333 - 05/18/15 09:55 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Ah. That sucks. Yeah, you really need down time. I guess you don't have time to find a new job. Can you talk to them and maybe try to get a bit more time off? Fuck them if they don't like it. And, if I'm not mistaken, I believe they're legally required to give you some time off. I dunno.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Le_Canard]
#21696355 - 05/18/15 10:00 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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its just my friends dont really make plans in advance so i cant book off a day expecting to go somewhere because i tried that a few weeks ago and ended up spending the friday alone because no-one was doing anything that day
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21696356 - 05/18/15 10:01 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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and i cant book off because very often because im the only guy they have to do my job.
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The peg
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE] 2
#21696438 - 05/18/15 10:20 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I don't know your situation but it sounds like you need a different job. Don't let money steal your sanity. And school is a good idea. You will meet more people. And those friendships last a long time.
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Konyap

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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: The peg]
#21696476 - 05/18/15 10:26 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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it sounds stupid but yes jerking off with your hand is a constant reminder you're alone and will stress you out where as a girl would give you good chemical feelings even
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WeAreAnchors
Human


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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE] 3
#21696479 - 05/18/15 10:28 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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its all cool dude dont think about it like that. just relax bro
have you seen that episode of Adventure Time where Jake the dog shapeshifts into a brick so that he may know what it feels like to be a brick in a falling brick wall, which was part of an old brick shack. So he kept a walkie-talkie to communicate with his friend, Finn. As time went on, Jake saw a bunny hopping around. Soon it started raining and the bunny crashed under a bush. the bush got hurt and it rained but animals showed up and hooked bunny up w shelter. By this time Jake was narrating and the story was broadcast throughout the Land of Ooo. In the morning a deer destroyed his new house, which was built by many friendly animals the night before in the rain, and after like 2 seconds the bunny hops off unaffected.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: The peg]
#21696620 - 05/18/15 11:06 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
The peg said: I don't know your situation but it sounds like you need a different job. Don't let money steal your sanity. And school is a good idea. You will meet more people. And those friendships last a long time.
yeah i was thinking my sanity might be worth more than 13 bucks an hour, im getting having my g2 test tomorrow so im hoping that might make it possible for me to get out, but i usually finish work at 12 or 1 am for fuck sakes.
i dont know why this insist on making me cover both those shifts always. i cant take it anymore im gonna snap from isolation insanity.
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circastes
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21696848 - 05/19/15 12:36 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Life is awesome if you don't have brain damage, it really is. Mental illness is just another kind of brain damage, but since we see it happening only in certain areas of the brain we give it a name.
Let your brain heal.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: circastes]
#21697594 - 05/19/15 09:06 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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i failed my g2 test because my mom did not teach me backwards parking and its the only thing they tested me on so i failed it.
im really upset now because i was counting on passing it to fix my isolation but now i cant even have it.
im hurting so badly, i just want to talk be with friends.
i hate my job so much, i just want to quit, i need my friday and saturday.
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Edited by SleepyE (05/19/15 09:07 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21698209 - 05/19/15 12:23 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Backwards parking is so hard I avoid it if at all possible. It's so hard they even made a car that does it automatically, all you have to do is pull up alongside the car in front then your car does the rest.
I drove for 30 years then had to retake the test and failed the written but I practiced most on backwards parking and finally passed.
Is g2 Government? I would have thought the girls in gov't would be happy to date and keep the benefits within the family as it were. There's gotta be a department dating service, with hiv tests.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#21698280 - 05/19/15 12:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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yeah i was pro at parallel and fucking 3 point turn but dude was like backpark and im like wtf dude,. my sister said they wouldnt test me on it.
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WeAreAnchors
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21698532 - 05/19/15 01:59 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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just do what you've got to do and dont stress it
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE] 1
#21700614 - 05/19/15 11:39 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Go to a bar, jesus. Couple pints and youll be talking to everyone.
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Rebelutionsssss
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Bodhi of Ankou] 1
#21700645 - 05/19/15 11:48 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I feel the same way . But trust me man, relationships can be equally as damaging and can make you feel like you are dead instead of dying.
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
Edited by Rebelutionsssss (05/19/15 11:49 PM)
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#21700652 - 05/19/15 11:51 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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yeah i think i just need to get out more, like id be fine if my friday and saturday were free.
just going to have to do something about this job, or maybe just hold out until i get my g2 so i can get a little bit more mobility freedom to possibly reach my friends after work. 
my sanity should be more important than this shitty job.
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Amanita86
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE] 1
#21700694 - 05/20/15 12:08 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
SleepyE said: my sanity should be more important than this shitty job.
Fuckin' heard that right..
In answer to your OQ, I've found I tend to consider consequence more and take into consideration more repurcussions/results when Im around someone I care about, health considerations, etc.. all kinds of things.
The times Im alone I tend to drop off the map into a "I dont give a shit, too give a shit, about anything" zone..that tends to lead into 'undesirable areas', we'll say..
So thats just my findings. Of course like Reb said having someone around who doesnt click can backfire too. So I guess the answer to your question can be yes and no.
--------------------
Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Buster_Brown
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21702053 - 05/20/15 11:24 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Oh, you mean like backing a boat trailer, yeah, when I'm in a tight spot I have to remember to turn the bottom of the steering wheel in the direction I want the back of the trailer to go.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Buster_Brown]
#21702082 - 05/20/15 11:34 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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yeah dude just said practice it in a parking lot a few dozen times and il be a pro, at least i know what to expect for my next booking.
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Spankle
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE] 1
#21710707 - 05/22/15 02:10 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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OP you do need companionship. Not necessarily a girlfriend but Humans are hyper-social animals. We crave the gossip and the connection that relationships facilitate.
Forgive me for my bluntness but I refuse to sugar coat things for people.
"I just feel like there is something psychologically not right with me in the sense that it hasn't happened for me.
im starting to think something is seriously wrong with me."
^That bit there is a problem. Relationships aren't just going to manifest themselves in your life. If you don't actively form them you will continue to be in the same boat as you are now. For someone with commitment it takes to hit the gym and have a nice physique your situation surprises me.
Approach it with the same tenacity you do the gym. Put your self in social situations, join a club or some sort of community activity. Hit up some meetup groups in your area. Talk to people. Join a dating website. Most importantly learn. Read books, watch videos and make a commitment to giving yourself a rich meaningful life full of many relationships. I can assure you it will pay dividends.
I have only once in my life experienced debilitating bouts of anxiety that were brought about by a non-functioning pancreas. Lasted only a few months so I can't speak much to chronic anxiety but all I can say is you have to get uncomfortable and fake it till you make it. I feel with a rich social life your anxiety will all but disappear. You seem to have a confidence about you to even say you look good so carry that in to a social life. Confidence is key just as it is in the gym.
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crkhd
☾☼☽

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 2,401
Loc: A human sphere enfolding ...
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Spankle]
#21716513 - 05/24/15 04:35 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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We humans need oxytocin to stay sane brah
Male on his own gets overwhelmed by male energy Mind heats up
Woman brings coolness http://www.girlfriendcircles.com/blog/index.php/2013/07/friendships-stress-and-hormones-simon-sinek/
-------------------- "Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern." "THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker "If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 50 minutes, 7 seconds
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: crkhd]
#21717241 - 05/24/15 11:41 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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thanks, this job still is raping my mind, literally cant see anyone because of this bullshit.
I really have to find some solution to this,
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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Vexx Junior
Explorer


Registered: 04/23/15
Posts: 26
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21718790 - 05/24/15 08:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Hey SleepyE, it sounds like you gotta stomp your foot down with your boss about getting a weekend off now and then.
It is widely believed that having some relationships in your life is essential to a persons mental well-being. I bet that if you just tried, you'd excel in that area, if you had the time.
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Vexx Junior
Explorer


Registered: 04/23/15
Posts: 26
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Vexx Junior]
#21718798 - 05/24/15 08:40 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Or, if you just wanna talk with someone, pm me, we can chat about anything man. I'd like to help if I can.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 50 minutes, 7 seconds
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: Vexx Junior]
#21718913 - 05/24/15 09:23 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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thank you, you are completely right, its not a problem for me to meet people when i have the spare time but i havent seem my friends in a month now because of this job.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 50 minutes, 7 seconds
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21718936 - 05/24/15 09:28 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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problem is they have been wanting me to work more and i have to turn it down because i cant handle all that working and i have other things i need to get done,
then it looks like they get angry, maybe im imagining it, i just feel a bit sketched about asking anything from them.
but i only agreed for 3 days, actually 2 but then they were like oh we need this from you now, and now they constantly want 4 and im likke nooo i cannt.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
Edited by SleepyE (05/24/15 09:28 PM)
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R0B0G3N3S1S
Quantum Mechanic

Registered: 04/08/15
Posts: 330
Loc: Noosphere
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: SleepyE]
#21725197 - 05/26/15 03:03 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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To the op, I feel that we are in similar boats. This is really where family comes in. And why your cousin seemed so attractive when you were young. Or maybe thats just me.
But yeah, maybe eventually you will go manic and then go out and talk to a bunch of people and be a crazy dude for a while and find some friends. The relationship part... I'm still trying to figure out. It seems easier to go at it backward your first time ->sexual attachment ->emotional motivation->relationship building skills. Much of a persons flexibility and mental plasticity comes from the people around them and constant practice. Well, we don't practice really... but expect a few fuck ups, and get rid of the shyness. (haha actually that's when your releasing your pheremones, so even if you feel shy you should still talk to that totally hot girl who has been staring at you).
-------------------- One should of, but shouldn't of had to. Because One Shouldn't of, but had to. Pm me If you are trying to discuss that one thing that everybody knows but is so hard to put into words.
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Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: Is it mentally dangerous to go through life without companionship or relationships? [Re: R0B0G3N3S1S]
#21749697 - 06/01/15 06:17 PM (8 years, 7 months ago) |
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OP atleast you have hobbies and work-_-
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