Home | Community | Message Board

Sporeworks
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
OfflineBlack_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
Big Sexuality Fluctuations
    #21694490 - 05/18/15 01:01 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

TLDR: Finally satisfied with non-serious relationships and sex. Stopped obsessing over finding new relationships and sexual adventures. Sense of relief and now focusing my energy on developing my skills, having fun, and working towards a future I want for myself. 26-y-old

-

For the first time in my life I am becoming okay with being single and it has got to be one of the biggest reliefs of my life. I've always liked and flirted with girls since I was about 5 years old and when I was about 11 I had my first girlfriend. Since then I've always wanted a girlfriend to love and care for, all the sex and adventure and everything that comes with it. I think it has to do with love issues, my mom's death, family intimacy and all sorts of stuff but we all have our issues.

There was only a 1 month gap for almost 15 years now that I didn't WANT another being for whatever reason. I've had a few girl friends and partners now, but during the single times I obsessed over finding a new partner to be with. It drove me crazy just looking at every woman I saw. Flirting, hook-ups, failures, online dating, daydreaming, my friends' girlfriends - it was driving me mad.

During my times in relationships I longed for having more time to work on myself, but when I finally was single again I would hardly do anything of the sort...just put all my energy into looking for another.

I'm also a very sexual person. I have developed a huge checklist of things I've wanted to try and master. Each new thing tried brings 2 more new ones to explore. It's a never ending cycle leading deeper into the kink. I don't think my younger self would view me as depraved fortunately.

--

So the last year of my life...I had a girlfriend this time last year. It was a lot of work. We we're best friends but had conflict with our relationship. Lots of breakups, crying, make-ups, emotional work on both fronts. It was fun at least. After about 2 months of being single I found a new girl. Huge sexual exploits were made. Felt like I finally climbed to the top of a mountain. After her I poured myself into online dating and failed attempts with coworkers.

Something finally stopped about a month ago. I stopped caring. Nothing I was going for was going to satisfy me because I knew the only thing that would make my happy now was a serious relationship with someone I could spend the rest of my life with. And the only way I was going to find that person was if I become the person that THAT person would want me to be. I'm not living my life now just because I want to make some person in the future satisfied, just to be clear. I want to become that person but I could only get to this point by first having all the experiences I've had in the past.

I think I'm finally shifting into a new view of things. Make myself happy and stop worrying about finding someone. They will fall into my life if I stick to myself.

It's weird...I haven't had sex in 3 months. Probably the longest stretch I've had in a while but I am not making myself suffer because of it for once. I just don't really care anymore. I don't want to hookup. I mean I want to try a few new things out that I haven't done before but it's not an obsession or a pervading thought. I like meeting new people and taking their cloths off and learning who they are but for now...meh. If it happens it happens

I placed SO much of my worth on the merits of my relationships and sexual prowess. I think that has been a great motivator for me to become an amazing lover but at the cost of my mental health. Constantly beating myself up for every little thing.  Not getting it up, failing at a pick up, an awkward moment in sex, failing to satisfy someone as much as I wanted, how long it had been since I had sex...the list of things I used to beat myself up for was colossal.

And of course when I did the opposite I finally allowed myself to be happy. I made it my life's purpose to make sure each and every person I've been with has thought of me as the best. It's a crazy little game but god my ego needed to hear that so badly. My ego sat there starved for years and the first girl I was with I just laid into her. When I heard those words come from her mouth it was the tear in the fabric of my reality. A black hole was born inside my mind.

I'm not sure if I suffered more than I didn't. When I made them happy I was happy, but sometimes the stretches between partners was an entirely new episode of depression in my life.

So finally - for once - a moment of peace from my launch into human sexuality.


--------------------


Edited by Black_Sunset (05/18/15 01:07 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSuspector
A disheveled pattern
Male


Registered: 05/04/15
Posts: 502
Loc: Long Island NY
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Big Sexuality Fluctuations [Re: Black_Sunset]
    #21695552 - 05/18/15 06:55 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I have only been with 3 women. Some people have a 'favorite' . I thought each girl was distinct and good in their own way the first times having sex.. I liked 1 of them the most because over time, the time was necessary, we really understood what each other liked. I will never receive satisfaction like that from sex the first time or two with someone..but I wouldn't think to compare them unless I am here, like right now. I also don't want to eat the ass out of some girl I don't really know, and that is one of my favorite things to do:tongue2:


Either way, good job :thumbup: It is an interesting perspective and I am glad you made it out of the subconscious restrictions you had previously set for yourself


--------------------
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


Edited by Suspector (05/18/15 07:03 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineBlack_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
Re: Big Sexuality Fluctuations [Re: Suspector]
    #21698303 - 05/19/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, I feel what you are saying. You prefer sex with someone overtime than a hookup. This is a totally valid way to feel and I am right there with you on that. I like to get to know someone and get into their head and figure out what makes them feel good and get excited.

I don't discredit hookups though. They are equally exciting in other way. Novelty, mystery etc... some people prefer this type of encounter and that's totally cool.

I think every person has the potential to be a great lover. It doesnt matter what type of sex you prefer, with whom or what sex they are. You need to follow and improve upon the things that you like sexually. I think anyone can find someone who they match up with sexually no matter how they approach it. I do think there's a few skills everyone can use to improve their sex life like reading your partner and just general emotional and interpersonal intelligence. but ultimately there's no wrong way to do it.


--------------------


Edited by Black_Sunset (05/19/15 12:53 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSuspector
A disheveled pattern
Male

Registered: 05/04/15
Posts: 502
Loc: Long Island NY
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Big Sexuality Fluctuations [Re: Black_Sunset]
    #21698335 - 05/19/15 01:06 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah exactly, you see, It would take me sometimes 10-20 minutes when the woman was new to cum from a blowjob.

it took my ex girlfriend like 20 minutes the first time, (I was actually the first person she gave a blowjob too, she didn't have any sexual contact with a man till 11th grade, and she was hot as fuck, didn't make sense, she kissed other men, just nothing else, you could tell honestly) it was an entire learning experience for her. I was a little nervous of course because I liked the woman alot, and I didn't want to stop her from sort of experimenting on her own at first. but over time she was literally having me bust within 1-2 minutes because she knew what I liked. She got so good we had to mix it up a little bit to make it last longer LOL.. She would blow me sometimes 3 times a day just because it was so quick and she loved swallowing.. I feel like you can't get like that with a random hook up often. It might be because the person is afraid of doing something to you that she may not think you like. Some people like the rush and get off on it. I am guessing you are one of those people. I havent had enough random hook ups. mine were all younger related and bloomed into long term relationships. people my age are probably more experienced as a whole so the random hook ups probably feel much better LoL
but yeah,
she had a master tongue, because of communication and time. Whoever she is with now is one lucky bastard, I can tell you that.


--------------------
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineBlack_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
Re: Big Sexuality Fluctuations [Re: Suspector]
    #21700817 - 05/20/15 12:55 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Good memories :laugh:

No I am not much of a hook-up person. 99% of my sex has been with about half the people I've slept with. I don't usually enjoy the first few times I have sex with someone. It's fun and good but those first few times we're trying to get out balance and learn how to navigate the other person. The first time I hooked up with a guy is another story though. That was the best hookup of my life! I just wasn't nervous like I get with women.

Yeah, I feel you on the oral thing. I feel like every time am with a new girl I have to relearn how to go down on them. What worked for one girl only works a little on the next. I have to back up and start over, testing each technique over the course of maybe 15 separate times before I've really cracked her.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* I love my girlfriend but often have untoward desires for her sister. *DELETED*
( 1 2 3 4 ... 13 14 )
Anonymous 7,771 269 08/25/18 09:05 PM
by koods

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, Shroomism, automan, yogabunny, CookieCrumbs
100 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 0 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.026 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 15 queries.