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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
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Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
i can't seem to get over my ex
    #21686278 - 05/16/15 08:43 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

yeah.... my ex broke up with me in decemember, and i'm still thinking about her constantly.  it really sucks, cause i want to be over her.... but there is still a part of me that wants her back! i miss her a lot and it sucks cause next year we're going to the same university and living down the hall from each other.  i woke up thinking of her today and then got kinda sad... and the suckiest thing is, she won't even text me back or anything but in person she acts all buddy buddy.  i feel if we were able to hang out at least once, i could out this shit behind me or something.... idk this was my first real girlfriend and we dated for like a year and a half.

how can i get over her? i've talked to girls since we broke up, but i still find myself thinking about her.... ughghgh this really sucks.


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween
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Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 19 days, 16 hours
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #21686902 - 05/16/15 12:22 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Sorry bro, if you really loved her and what not you won't ever get over her. You will see other peop,e but there will always be a part of you wishing you could get back to that projected utopia.

I am 8.5 years separated from my x, although we used to play around and flirt, and I still miss it immensely.

Just wait til you feeling good and fine and you see her with someone else and boom, like that heartache never left.

Don't worry about it, life has a fair bit of grieving in it. Just try and focus on yourself and what you would like to do.

Obsessing will only make it worse and if you are anything like me make you feel embarrassed about all the wasted time and energy.


--------------------


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OfflineSuspector
A disheveled pattern
Male


Registered: 05/04/15
Posts: 502
Loc: Long Island NY
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: ReposadoXochipilli]
    #21687017 - 05/16/15 12:59 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Do you really love her? Then let her go. It could be that she doesn't want to lead you on, so she doesn't text you back.

So the best thing you can do is to make a conscious effort to remove the current thought patterns you have, and replace them with ones of hope regarding other women and possibilities, or just another hobby really. You are in more control over your thoughts then you think. Every time I think of my ex, I make it a point to switch the topic of interest, or do something that encompasses my mind, gym/sports/games/tv shows, etc. the list goes on, and the best part is you get to pick it!

Do not be a victim to your own delusion, fight back. Many of us have been there. I have, you are not alone. Don't waste your effort. in the future, say months, or years from now do you want to be thinkin of what she is doing and who she is with, or, about what you are doing, who you are with, and how you love the person you are with, as much as she loves you.



I like this song, The value of the perspective. it shows two sides: 'this is where you are at' and 'this is where you want to be' It is called "if you cant hang."

Beginning of the song ( this is where you are at, what you do not want )

Met a girl at seventeen
Thought she meant the world to me,
So I gave her everything,
She turned out to be a cheat
Said she'd been thinking for a long time
And she found somebody new



and then later on in the song at the end:

"I met a girl at twenty-three
Knew she meant the world to me,
So I gave her everything,
And she did the same for me."

That is what you want.



--------------------
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Suspector]
    #21690025 - 05/17/15 10:24 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

i guess i just need to force myself to stop thinking about her and stop feeling so bad about the break up.  i think i'm harping on it so much because she broke up with me because of drugs and i was in a really dark place.  it just sucks being left alone when you really, really need someone.  and that happens to me all too much.

fuck it.  i gotta get her out of my mind and just live.  there's other girls... hell i've been talkin to a girl who has waaay more common interests than my ex and me.


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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OfflineEverything
(~} ;-}
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Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 5,157
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #21690434 - 05/17/15 12:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

its hard getting over people.It kind of sounds like you have to though. I think the best thing to do would be distance. don't call her or text her. don't try to hang out with her again. If she isn't responsive to you that says a lot i am sad to say. Maybe she really does still like you but just feels like she can't have you in her life and she probably still thinks you do way to many drugs.

Don't dig yourself a deeper hole of sadness, its gonna get better, you'll still think about her from time to time but it won't hurt as bad.


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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Everything]
    #21691714 - 05/17/15 06:21 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

yeah... it seems i have to force myself out of this.  i think i'll be fine though.


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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OfflineEverything
(~} ;-}
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Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 5,157
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #21691726 - 05/17/15 06:24 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I'm getting over my ex too. I broke up with her though, such a long long complicated 5 year story.


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OfflineCaptainKurt
Stranger


Registered: 04/30/15
Posts: 160
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Everything]
    #21693888 - 05/18/15 09:55 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Just think there is 7.5 billion people on this planet, whatever you had with that person, you can have with anyother. ok but only a few % of that are women in the datable range. But still its a lot of options.


Edited by CaptainKurt (05/18/15 09:56 AM)


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: CaptainKurt]
    #21693962 - 05/18/15 10:27 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

See I dont believe that for a second, to say that undermines each specific persons beauty, their traits, what makes them "them" and not everyone else.  You can find something new, but when it all goes south, you'll never find again who it was you 'had'..

It still fucks me up, thinking about certain people Ive had in my life when I kind of fall back into my head and try and take a shot at understanding... 

You can find something new, but you'll never get back what was..  that right there can fuck a brother up sometimes..

I have a few ex's I'd hit the road for at 3am if they called me up and needed a hand.  I never got 'over them', things just changed..


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Registered: 07/06/04
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Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #21696667 - 05/18/15 11:21 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sanchothestoner said:
i guess i just need to force myself to stop thinking about her and stop feeling so bad about the break up.  i think i'm harping on it so much because she broke up with me because of drugs and i was in a really dark place.  it just sucks being left alone when you really, really need someone.  and that happens to me all too much.

fuck it.  i gotta get her out of my mind and just live.  there's other girls... hell i've been talkin to a girl who has waaay more common interests than my ex and me.




take vacations. lots of vacations. i recommend vegas.

also try talking to some old friends on facebook. sometimes reconnecting with girls you havent talked to or seen in a while can open you up to new and fun experiences :smile:


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Amanita86]
    #21696675 - 05/18/15 11:24 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
See I dont believe that for a second, to say that undermines each specific persons beauty, their traits, what makes them "them" and not everyone else.  You can find something new, but when it all goes south, you'll never find again who it was you 'had'..

It still fucks me up, thinking about certain people Ive had in my life when I kind of fall back into my head and try and take a shot at understanding... 

You can find something new, but you'll never get back what was..  that right there can fuck a brother up sometimes..

I have a few ex's I'd hit the road for at 3am if they called me up and needed a hand.  I never got 'over them', things just changed..




i actually believe in the 7.5 billion philosophy. sure you get used to certain traits of a person who is no longer there, so youre going to miss what youve been used to. but all it takes is to meet a girl 10x more awesome than the one you knew before and youll be like what was her name again?

its true and you know it haha. and ill bet the odds of anyone meeting someone cooler than the person they used to date is much higher than anyone would think. just get out, live your life, be happy to be alive, and have fun!


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: ManianFH]
    #21697475 - 05/19/15 08:01 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
Quote:

sanchothestoner said:
i guess i just need to force myself to stop thinking about her and stop feeling so bad about the break up.  i think i'm harping on it so much because she broke up with me because of drugs and i was in a really dark place.  it just sucks being left alone when you really, really need someone.  and that happens to me all too much.

fuck it.  i gotta get her out of my mind and just live.  there's other girls... hell i've been talkin to a girl who has waaay more common interests than my ex and me.




take vacations. lots of vacations. i recommend vegas.

also try talking to some old friends on facebook. sometimes reconnecting with girls you havent talked to or seen in a while can open you up to new and fun experiences :smile:




that's funny you say vegas.  yesterday i was telling my dad how i wanna go to vegas this summer and kick it with family we have over there.

i have been talking to old friends too, which is nice.  but i don't have a facebook or anything so some reconnecting and talking to people is a bit more difficult.... which were my intentions.


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa


Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #21697545 - 05/19/15 08:30 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Sometimes it takes a while homie. It can take years.  People can leave lasting impressions that may never just go away.  If you loved them then you can still love them even if you aren't together anymore.  Its just appreciating the time you had together and being thankful for the experience and moving on to giving and loving someone else.


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #21697614 - 05/19/15 09:17 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

:whathesaid:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #21697933 - 05/19/15 10:44 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Corporal Kielbasa said:
Sometimes it takes a while homie. It can take years.  People can leave lasting impressions that may never just go away.  If you loved them then you can still love them even if you aren't together anymore.  Its just appreciating the time you had together and being thankful for the experience and moving on to giving and loving someone else.




yeah, it's hard.  this was my first real relationship too.... so makes it harder.  i'm getting over her though.... kinda forcing myself to.  i don't get why i'm so strung up on her.... she fucking left me when i needed someone the most.  i have to get over that and know everything will be ok.  someone else will come along, until i have to work on myself.


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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Anonymous #1

Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: sanchothestoner] * 1
    #21698000 - 05/19/15 11:02 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sanchothestoner said:
i think i'm harping on it so much because she broke up with me because of drugs and i was in a really dark place.  it just sucks being left alone when you really, really need someone.  and that happens to me all too much.




I try not to bring this up much because it's sadsack sort of shit; so I'll post this anonymously.  I was born addicted to crack and had to go through withdrawels since the day I was born.  My biological mother put so much red tape around the adoption papers that I'd never find out who she was or even a last name.  I'll not even get into the fucked up childhood somebody who's adopted can go through.  Suffice it to say that people really don't take care of what's not theirs.  Going through abandonment issues in your time of need from the moment you were born can do QUITE a number on your psyche. 
You want to know the truth though?  Love takes work, real work.  The kind of compromise that only real affection can conjure.  With her leaving you you have to look at it as a freedom.  Freedom to go out into the world and find somebody new.  Someone happy to find you where you are at and be there for that person.  Believe me guy, if this big ol' bag of super crazy can find it, I guarantee you can. :manofapproval:


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Anonymous #2

Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21698030 - 05/19/15 11:16 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

You bet your ass, there's something too be said for being somebody who chooses to live.  We all have our secrets.  "The rose that grew from concrete". I sir, salute you.


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Anonymous #1

Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #21698070 - 05/19/15 11:26 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

No need for any of that.  The point I was trying to get across is that no matter what the situation is, there's always room for a little hope.  Fuck it we're here anyways right?


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Anonymous #2

Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21698096 - 05/19/15 11:37 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

That's me getting excited.  Yeah we're here, and this is just the beginning.  We have a long road, apparently my enthusiasm gets the best of me when I finally meet someone with some get up and go.


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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: i can't seem to get over my ex [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21698128 - 05/19/15 11:51 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

sanchothestoner said:
i think i'm harping on it so much because she broke up with me because of drugs and i was in a really dark place.  it just sucks being left alone when you really, really need someone.  and that happens to me all too much.




I try not to bring this up much because it's sadsack sort of shit; so I'll post this anonymously.  I was born addicted to crack and had to go through withdrawels since the day I was born.  My biological mother put so much red tape around the adoption papers that I'd never find out who she was or even a last name.  I'll not even get into the fucked up childhood somebody who's adopted can go through.  Suffice it to say that people really don't take care of what's not theirs.  Going through abandonment issues in your time of need from the moment you were born can do QUITE a number on your psyche. 
You want to know the truth though?  Love takes work, real work.  The kind of compromise that only real affection can conjure.  With her leaving you you have to look at it as a freedom.  Freedom to go out into the world and find somebody new.  Someone happy to find you where you are at and be there for that person.  Believe me guy, if this big ol' bag of super crazy can find it, I guarantee you can. :manofapproval:




thanks.  i needed this.  their is this deep rooted part of me that believes i don't deserve any love.  it leads me to do things i never wanted to do, and then i have to deal with the aftermath.  i can only hope that someday someone will help me get out of that and allow me to finally love.  i think all this has to do with my abusive mother.  she's really done a number on me.

i've been being told recently how much everyone loves me and wants to see me do better, but i couldn't give a shit.  and it sucks.  it's like i don't feel any of the love that everyone is showering down onto me.  that might be why i cherished that relationship so much... it made me love and feel loved.


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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