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PhytoExtractum Shop: Buy Bali Kratom Powder

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OfflineDeathcore
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Registered: 06/08/13
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help me figure it out
    #21684372 - 05/15/15 07:06 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

On an intense shroom trip over 7 grams I had this feeling like I created myself just to watch myself suffer over and over again.

The lake of fire was below me and I was in the center of eternity and it kept expanding and everybody in the entire world who ever existed knew my every thought and action future present past

All my insecurities and fears came out and turned inside out against me and I had my eyes closed so I could try to avoid having to face the world. They all wanted to kill me because they knew how I was. I always wanted to be good and helpful to people but people piss me off and used me while I was young and manipulated my gullible mindset.

I now see how things are and life is a crapshoot. You can't really trust yourself lettalone anyone else

I found out I'm shallow but I'm working on it

I found out I hate rejection (not the typical way people think) but like...if if Im doing what I want to do that should be good enough but nope..I get ridiculed directly and indirectly

I found out I had a bad draw in the deck of life and tough shit there are worse and there are better out there...deal with it...but fuck...whens the agony gonna end?

I also found out God is real and this is all a testing ground and God can do what he wants. I've been reading the Bible alot more and its an awesome book but also scary..

God can fuck you up but he doesnt want us to fail. But we have to put effort into being righteous. I'm working on it... but I still feel scared and this syncronicity makes me feel hopeless sometimes ...



I quit porn, I reduced judging people but still feel sad watching the drones line up for there big Mac and fries :frown:


Cigarette smokers piss me off to


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