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OliverJames
Potion Brewer

Registered: 02/28/12
Posts: 3,085
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
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sex with your ex
#21682020 - 05/15/15 07:42 AM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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I broke up with my ex about 6 or 7 months ago. She was absolutely crushed. I knew she still loved me but I just wasn't interested in her anymore, as nice of a girl as she was, we didn't have nearly enough in common for us to be compatible.
Anyway, I'd like to have sex with this girl again. I miss the sex with her which was real fun. I understand that this is a slimy move, but I feel like its worth trying, might turn into a fwbs type deal, which is exactly what I'm looking for? I might be wrong, but I think she would be into it. The only thing that worries me is that I should probably let her know ahead of time that I'm not interested in being in a relationship. If I don't tell her this before the sex, I risk hurting her when/if she develops feelings again. At the same time though, I'm not sure how I tell her that before I even get a chance to hangout with her. If I tell her right off the bat that I want to have sex but no relationship, shes jut gonna take that as me not even wanting to hangout with her. I'm totally down to be her friend. I just don't want to be her boy friend
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Shroomism
Space Travellin



Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
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So tell her that.
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Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 2,451
Loc: Somewhere California
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: sex with your ex [Re: Shroomism]
#21682811 - 05/15/15 12:04 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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You can try telling her exactly what you've got there. Only flaw in your logic is that you said she can't get hurt if you tell her straight up it will be a no-feelings thing. Logically she might agree and be for it but after you've been intimate again there's a big chance she's still holding on to those feelings and they will resurface for her. At that point she will be having sex with you to satisfy her empty space in her heart that was once filled with you, no pun intended. She might deny it but this behavior would hurt her and in turn you.
I've had plenty of sex with ex's and I've seen this happen at least until 12months has passed. You're getting into conflict territory at 7months imo. It's all subjective, though. If she's removed her life from yours and has been getting with other partners it will help to heal or at least cover up what happened with you.
Ex sex is blissful awesomeness so go get it dude
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OsculateOfDemise



Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 2,879
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I tried that with my ex once... we ended up back together. That might not be your case but I think eventually emotions get involved and you could very well end up being a couple again.
Edited by OsculateOfDemise (05/15/15 12:20 PM)
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MysticPop
AlienInWonderland



Registered: 05/05/15
Posts: 132
Last seen: 2 months, 30 days
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I would love to try it!!
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Suspector
A disheveled pattern



Registered: 05/04/15
Posts: 502
Loc: Long Island NY
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Re: sex with your ex [Re: MysticPop] 2
#21683061 - 05/15/15 01:10 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Sounds like a good idea for you, but a horrid idea for her. She might view this as a possible chance to win you back. In that sense she is vulnerable, and when someone is vulnerable to you, it is best to keep your distance, for her. Don't be selfish. But you aren't going to listen, the urge seems strong with this one. Just be sure to let her know ahead of time your intentions and to keep the clear throughout the friendship
-------------------- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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psych_fck
Artist


Registered: 02/26/15
Posts: 382
Loc: Miami, FL
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Re: sex with your ex [Re: Suspector]
#21683284 - 05/15/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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If you both are on the same page and are aware you're just friends with benefits I don't see why not. If she still loves you its probably not a good idea though.
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OliverJames
Potion Brewer

Registered: 02/28/12
Posts: 3,085
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
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Re: sex with your ex [Re: psych_fck]
#21683395 - 05/15/15 02:41 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Hmm, many good points. I'll have to think about this a bit. It could be very fun but I could also see it ending badly. I think before I hit her up, I'm gonna see if I get meet anyone cool off Tinder or HotorNot. I'm decent looking guy but I've still had no luck using those apps
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Thaj
:-)

Registered: 04/30/15
Posts: 142
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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When we have sex we release a hormone that strengthen connection with our partner so maybe that's why it is hard to give up just like that.
I would not go back and have a on and off sex life with same person cause eventually both of you will get older and a lot of time would have been spent in this silly game. Leave her alone and go for something else for her own sake (she is not a toy for you to play whatever) Dont't be that selfish!
-------------------- There is no real sin but lessons yet to be learned. ----------------------------------------------------
Edited by Thaj (05/15/15 04:17 PM)
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Suspector
A disheveled pattern


Registered: 05/04/15
Posts: 502
Loc: Long Island NY
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Re: sex with your ex [Re: Thaj]
#21683751 - 05/15/15 04:12 PM (8 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thaj said: When we make sex we release a hormone that strength our connection with our partner so maybe that's why it is hard to give up just like that.
I would not go back and have a on and off sex life with same person cause eventually both of you will get older and a lot of time would have been spent in this silly game. Leave her alone and go for something else for her own sake. Dont't be that selfish
-------------------- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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lfds2pid
Lone woof


Registered: 02/26/15
Posts: 49
Loc: Earth
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Quote:
OliverJames said: I broke up with my ex about 6 or 7 months ago. She was absolutely crushed. I knew she still loved me but I just wasn't interested in her anymore, as nice of a girl as she was, we didn't have nearly enough in common for us to be compatible.
Anyway, I'd like to have sex with this girl again. I miss the sex with her which was real fun. I understand that this is a slimy move, but I feel like its worth trying, might turn into a fwbs type deal, which is exactly what I'm looking for? I might be wrong, but I think she would be into it. The only thing that worries me is that I should probably let her know ahead of time that I'm not interested in being in a relationship.Brought to you by faecbook If I don't tell her this before the sex, I risk hurting her when/if she develops feelings again. Those females and their sentience... At the same time though, I'm not sure how I tell her that before I even get a chance to hangout with her. Do it on Hangouts. If I tell her right off the bat that I want to have sex but no relationship, shes jut gonna take that as me not even wanting to hangout with her. I'm totally down to be her friend. I just don't want to be her boy friend
Why don't you two go hang out with your relationship?
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