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Invisiblevandago
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So I had my first herpes outbreak,
    #21680857 - 05/14/15 09:32 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

And I seriously have little to no desire to go on.  Straight up.  This is all an illusion. I'm here to be stripped of everything that is joyous.  The first part of my life was to experience pure love and gratitude.  The rest of my life is to watch it fall through my fingers like sand.


It's crumbling faster and faster.  I have no where to turn for support.

My mom seriously recommended suicide to me.  She said I am so miserable just get it over with.



My therapist asked me yesterday....."why don't you just kill yourself?".....I said " because I don't own a gun, and the rope would break on the noose "


Going to do 6 months in jail.  My family fucking hates me. I was born with some mental tick that just erupts on people and makes them hate me....when they showed so much love...it's like I'm triggered to spit in loves face.....to be ungrateful...im wired for sadness.


If it wasn't for my dogs laying at the foot of my bed I would ensure I didn't wake up tomorrow.  But suicide isn't an option. 



Edit.  This post was a hell of a lot more dramatic then I intended it to be....I was mostly trying to point out how my hand was a bluff, and my family and everyone around me are extremely unsupportive and actually recommending suicide to me.  I wouldn't kill myself....I like my dogs way too much, then they remind me of why I'm alive......but I have lost a lot this past winter, and I just keep losing more and more....it's frustrating.....Apparently this was noted by someone as a "suicide threat" when it's merely just a vent.  I don't even own a gun.....I'd have to like drink bleach or something.


Edited by vandago (05/17/15 08:02 AM)


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago] * 6
    #21680899 - 05/14/15 09:41 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

[mod edit: I know this is your posting style, but sometimes you just go too far


Edited by koods (05/15/15 08:18 AM)


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme]
    #21680927 - 05/14/15 09:51 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

.


Edited by vandago (05/16/15 08:59 PM)


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme]
    #21680928 - 05/14/15 09:52 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

whats up Van, man i was reading your posts to see if you were being serious or not. really sorry to hear all this is going on in your life.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: ManianFH]
    #21680931 - 05/14/15 09:52 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

why are you going to jail? forgive me for not having knowledge of your past too much, my time on here is limited overall.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: ManianFH]
    #21680941 - 05/14/15 09:58 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

My brother and I got in a text arguement.  He showed up at my house to show off his new gun like the 5 min after talking shit......him and I started arguing and he threatened to fight me in my parents living room.  I said lets step outside. as I got up to walk out he grabbed his gun....so I turned around and shoved him as hard as I could.  He fell back and caught himself, then grabbed a barstool to hit me with, I caught the barstool and put it on the ground, he instantly called 911.  I have a record, he has a family, guess who was wrong? 


I'll be doing 6 months on a domestic violence charge for pushing someone who pulled a gun on me.


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: ManianFH] * 4
    #21680953 - 05/14/15 10:02 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

About the herp dude, it is what it is. Not a death sentence. There are millions upon millions of people who have been fucked by similar shit. Ive had all kinds of stuff in the past too, and it just happened to be curable stuff, save the HPV, which who knows. But thats besides the point. I was upfront with women about it, except for one who i told after we had sex; regardless no one really cared.

I think theres a website as well, like a dating site where you can meet up with people who have similar STDs or something, which I know might sound kinda weird, but shit im sure there are some really cool chicks who have been put in the same unfortunate situation as yourself.

about your mom, and your 'therapist' who are suggesting suicide - I feel like they might be very toxic people in your life, and you should take steps to distance yourself from people with this mindset. Thats the great thing about this world, is that when you feel like you have no one, you can go somewhere and meet new people. You dont have to sit stuck in a world of misery surrounded by people that hate you for whatever gay reason. Sucks its your mom, and some charlatan of a therapist, but it is what it is. If I were you and people said that to me, that would be the last thing they ever said to me; I would leave town and their lives forever.

About the jail - sucks but look at it this way. Its 6 months. youll get out in 3 or less with perfect behavior. I would use that time in jail to plan your move once you get out. People have built empires and fortunes on less time than 3 months. You can use that time to really change your life man. Get some good books that they hopefully will let you bring into jail; like self help books and study that shit well. If you think that you happen to ruin all relationships you touch, maybe you should study some books that focus on building and maintaining healthy relationships. Theyre out there. I am somewhat of a self help guru, and can attest to the positive effects they can have on your life. Do your time, do some hard reading and thinking, then when you get out, find a new and better life for yourself.

Are you still using drugs of any kind? If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to STOP using. no drugs, alcohol, tobacco, anything. Clean your body up and treat it well. Doing that helps you get your mind in a better place. I really recommend and hope you follow that advice.

Where do you live? Where would you like to live?


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21680963 - 05/14/15 10:06 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
My brother and I got in a text arguement.  He showed up at my house to show off his new gun like the 5 min after talking shit......him and I started arguing and he threatened to fight me in my parents living room.  I said lets step outside. as I got up to walk out he grabbed his gun....so I turned around and shoved him as hard as I could.  He fell back and caught himself, then grabbed a barstool to hit me with, I caught the barstool and put it on the ground, he instantly called 911.  I have a record, he has a family, guess who was wrong? 


I'll be doing 6 months on a domestic violence charge for pushing someone who pulled a gun on me.




gotcha. well whatever fuck that guy too then. if your fam isnt helping to improve your life, or what more, if they are having a negative impact, which it sounds to me they are, maybe its better to just excommunicate yourself from them. I love my family to death, but really if it was getting toxic like that I would just up and leave; I would expect the same from them if I was behaving in such a manner.

please read my post above dude. your life isnt fucked. You just gotta have hope that things will get better. Keep a positive attitude for yourself because no one else will.

What are your plans for when you get out of jail?


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: ManianFH]
    #21681033 - 05/14/15 10:21 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I just kept making the wrong decisions and it turned into this.  I can't believe the first post on a serious cry for some help is LOL.  Trolls will be trolls, and if you can't even love online, you must be one miserable fuck in real life.


My family hates drugs. I love psychedelics.  My family is all drunks. I should've left eons ago.....but with court now im stuck here again...and if I go to jail will be stuck in jail 6 months, and then be on prob for another year. ohio calls it "community control"

I'm stuck here unless I beat this court case, for a year min.  I have no where to go.  I'm a stupid fucking asshole. I deserve it.  I have to.


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago] * 1
    #21681043 - 05/14/15 10:23 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

hint: if everyone in your life hates you, think about what the common denominator in that equation is.
it's you

You already said it yourself; you're an asshole and you deserve it.  Haha.


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme] * 2
    #21681066 - 05/14/15 10:28 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Ya I probably deserved that cancer I was born with too.


Everyone in my life doesn't hate me.  My drunk family does because I eat acid.


Thanks though.  You helped me remind myself that there are way more miserable people then myself.

It has to really suck to be you.  You don't even have an excuse to suck.


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme] * 5
    #21681069 - 05/14/15 10:29 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sVs said:
hint: if everyone in your life hates you, think about what the common denominator in that equation is.
it's you

You already said it yourself; you're an asshole and you deserve it.  Haha.




if hes already said that himself why are you reiterating? do you feel the need to kick someone while hes down? the common denominator here is: youre not helping. go back to OTD swine.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21681080 - 05/14/15 10:32 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

wow you have cancer too?
Gosh I am really sorry for being so brash! Hey man, life is always gonna get better and people will be nice to you :smile:

It's totally not your fault and I think you are a great person going through a really tough time. There is just no way you could have wrecked your own personal life. 
Matter of fact, I think it's safe to say that having cancer absolves you of all responsibility at all.
You should probably keep venting, sounds like you've got a lot to work on!!


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21681081 - 05/14/15 10:32 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Ya I probably deserved that cancer I was born with too.


Everyone in my life doesn't hate me.  My drunk family does because I eat acid.


Thanks though.  You helped me remind myself that there are way more miserable people then myself.

It has to really suck to be you.  You don't even have an excuse to suck.




so what are your plans after jail? do you see yourself leaving ohio eventually?


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: ManianFH]
    #21681083 - 05/14/15 10:32 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
Quote:

sVs said:
hint: if everyone in your life hates you, think about what the common denominator in that equation is.
it's you

You already said it yourself; you're an asshole and you deserve it.  Haha.




if hes already said that himself why are you reiterating? do you feel the need to kick someone while hes down? the common denominator here is: youre not helping. go back to OTD swine.





I got herpes from a girl a mistakenly fell in love with that I knew had it.  I made a mistake that will live in my heart, and my dick, for the reast of my life.  Fucking hilarious.


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme]
    #21681090 - 05/14/15 10:34 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sVs said:
wow you have cancer too?
Gosh I am really sorry for being so brash! Hey man, life is always gonna get better and people will be nice to you :smile:

It's totally not your fault and I think you are a great person going through a really tough time. There is just no way you could have wrecked your own personal life. 
Matter of fact, I think it's safe to say that having cancer absolves you of all responsibility at all.
You should probably keep venting, sounds like you've got a lot to work on!!





Had*.  I was born with it.  It was removed completely.  Reading comprehension goes along way when trying to troll.  Please just leave this thread.  I don't need a douche, I need valtrex.


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: ManianFH]
    #21681093 - 05/14/15 10:34 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
Quote:

vandago said:
Ya I probably deserved that cancer I was born with too.


Everyone in my life doesn't hate me.  My drunk family does because I eat acid.


Thanks though.  You helped me remind myself that there are way more miserable people then myself.

It has to really suck to be you.  You don't even have an excuse to suck.




so what are your plans after jail? do you see yourself leaving ohio eventually?



:confused:



Edited by vandago (05/16/15 09:00 PM)


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OfflineBlack_Sunset
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme]
    #21681097 - 05/14/15 10:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

vandago, I've been here a while and you're one of the users that I feel made this community inviting for me years ago. I hate to see anyone struggling like you are. I think you're reaching out and going through all this turmoil because you know there's something else. Suicide...why...perhaps you feel there's more to life?

You can change buddy and it sounds like you're overdue. Fighting with your family, hating others, anger and violence. You don't have to live that way anymore. Do you want to live a different life? What goals do you have for yourself or the world?

There's always another way and shit isn't over 'til it's over. Herpes suck but hey what can you do. Take some drugs to control it...that's not hard. There's literally millions of people out there in your situation and it doesn't stop them from finding new partners and real love.

You love psychedelics....have you ventured out and worked with ayahuasca? what are you waiting for. You know it can help you


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21681106 - 05/14/15 10:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Quote:

mick said:
Quote:

sVs said:
hint: if everyone in your life hates you, think about what the common denominator in that equation is.
it's you

You already said it yourself; you're an asshole and you deserve it.  Haha.




if hes already said that himself why are you reiterating? do you feel the need to kick someone while hes down? the common denominator here is: youre not helping. go back to OTD swine.





I got herpes from a girl a mistakenly fell in love with that I knew had it.  I made a mistake that will live in my heart, and my dick, for the reast of my life.  Fucking hilarious.




like i said its not a death sentence, yeah it sucks, but if you own it youll probably meet a cool chick regardless. check out STD dating sites man, theres hot chicks all over those things. its actually a goldmine, and youll probably find good hookups on there.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Black_Sunset] * 1
    #21681119 - 05/14/15 10:42 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Aya brew would probably be a better choice then pulling the trigger.



This heart is swollen and cracked.  Alcohol has soured so many good friendships.  My love for abstract life has driven my blood family away.

The other family loves me....for the most part....I try so hard to be a kind soul.....I just.....give into temptation too easily.....

I'm just so fucking sad. So lost. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to call. I miss my grandpa. I miss breathing instead of hyperventilating.  I miss talking on the phone for hours to people.  I am so glad I have my dogs....and the shroomery is the main reason I still have my first dog.




I was 50/50 for a while.....great then horrid.


now I am paying for all the horrid and forgot how to be great.


Someone fucking print my ass and get me back to love.  I just want that love I used to feel for everyone back.  I miss eye contact. I miss feeling peoples souls.



I miss trust.


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago] * 1
    #21681130 - 05/14/15 10:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Quote:

mick said:
Quote:

vandago said:
Ya I probably deserved that cancer I was born with too.


Everyone in my life doesn't hate me.  My drunk family does because I eat acid.


Thanks though.  You helped me remind myself that there are way more miserable people then myself.

It has to really suck to be you.  You don't even have an excuse to suck.




so what are your plans after jail? do you see yourself leaving ohio eventually?





I'm not going to jail.  I'm going to run or blow my brains out.





screw that man, why? over 6 months in jail and one year prob?? Van listen to yourself, thats ridiculous. 1 year is a drop in the bucket over the long term view of things, someone who has used psychadelics should be able to understand that. if it were a life sentence i could understand your opinion, but your time is a drop in the bucket.

do your time, stop using, own your herp, be confident, and cut your ties with toxic people. start reading some self help books man. your life isnt even close to over.

how old are you? i swear if you say anything under 40 and youre talking pistols to heads i just wanna come over there and slap some sense into you. theres no age where thats ok in my opinion. go out swinging dude. you are down in the dumps but life is a rollercoaster, own your lows dude. own your life and whatever mistakes have lead you to this point; but understand its not over. focus on changing your life for the better, starting now.

i love you bro but no more suicide talk dude. pick your ass up by your bootstraps, stop using those fucking shit drugs, get your head straight and clean, and start fixing your life. you got a year and a half jail and probabtion. you can use that time to turn your life into the opposite of how you feel it is now.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineBlack_Sunset
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21681137 - 05/14/15 10:47 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

All of those things are within your power. You're the one to needs to take action and get all those things back for you. Start walking a new path. You'll meet new people there and you can love them to your hearts content. Aya dude


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OfflineThaj
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21681164 - 05/14/15 10:54 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Im sorry to hear that and I hope you find love somewhere out there, who knows? Do not condense your lifespam of misery in one single day. Just live one day each time and leave the past where it should be. Every second is chance of a new start and tomorrow is a sea of possibilities. I will have my thoughtd towards you hoping you feel it. Also accept my hug!  One day each time!


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There is no real sin but lessons yet to be learned.

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OfflineSuspector
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Thaj]
    #21681230 - 05/14/15 11:14 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I am not sure why Mick said earlier that herpes was curable. if that is what he is talking about. I am sure you have done the research, certain medications can help prevent a breakout, and so on. Who knows, they might be able to treat it later on. Honestly, there are woman out there who are hot as fuck that have been given a much worse hand regarding family along with having herpes. I hope you can see that perspective. You really aren't alone. My cousin has herpes and has been to jail throughout his life, im talking 4-5 years in total.. Life is a struggle. anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to themselves.


--------------------
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago] * 1
    #21681236 - 05/14/15 11:16 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Your mom and therapist sound fucking retarded

I hope things get better soon man


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

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OfflineSuspector
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Sheekle]
    #21681253 - 05/14/15 11:23 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Your mom and therapist sound fucking retarded

I hope things get better soon man




Yeah, uhm, if your therapist told you that.. maybe sue his ass? or get him in trouble at the very least.


Isn't that sort of encouraging someone both from the mom and therapist to commit suicide? isn't that illegal?


--------------------
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


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OfflineBlack_Sunset
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Suspector] * 1
    #21681268 - 05/14/15 11:27 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Why would a therapist do that. What's more likely was she was asking a question to make him think about it and come up with reasons what's stopping him. The therapist isn't instigating a suicide..... that's ridiculous


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: ManianFH]
    #21681272 - 05/14/15 11:28 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
Quote:

vandago said:
Quote:

mick said:
Quote:

vandago said:
Ya I probably deserved that cancer I was born with too.


Everyone in my life doesn't hate me.  My drunk family does because I eat acid.


Thanks though.  You helped me remind myself that there are way more miserable people then myself.

It has to really suck to be you.  You don't even have an excuse to suck.




so what are your plans after jail? do you see yourself leaving ohio eventually?





I'm not going to jail.  I'm going to run or blow my brains out.





screw that man, why? over 6 months in jail and one year prob?? Van listen to yourself, thats ridiculous. 1 year is a drop in the bucket over the long term view of things, someone who has used psychadelics should be able to understand that. if it were a life sentence i could understand your opinion, but your time is a drop in the bucket.

do your time, stop using, own your herp, be confident, and cut your ties with toxic people. start reading some self help books man. your life isnt even close to over.

how old are you? i swear if you say anything under 40 and youre talking pistols to heads i just wanna come over there and slap some sense into you. theres no age where thats ok in my opinion. go out swinging dude. you are down in the dumps but life is a rollercoaster, own your lows dude. own your life and whatever mistakes have lead you to this point; but understand its not over. focus on changing your life for the better, starting now.

i love you bro but no more suicide talk dude. pick your ass up by your bootstraps, stop using those fucking shit drugs, get your head straight and clean, and start fixing your life. you got a year and a half jail and probabtion. you can use that time to turn your life into the opposite of how you feel it is now.






You are right to a certain degree,  but age is just a number.  I talk to 60 year olds that are still more in the dark then I am.  I feel at this point, what's left?  helping people.....that's it....loving animals.....giving.



Maybe I need someone to smack the shit outta me.

Suicide is not an option.  It's a great thought to me right now though.  I could never kill myself.

My grandfather was a hunchback who couldnt open his hands.  He was in so much pain the last 6 month of his life.....screamed in pain in his sleep.....then woke up with a huge bloody smile " Good morning!!!!"  quivering in pain.....always gave me noggies with his crippled hands " calm down knucklehead ".....he sat with a loaded pistol next to him the day he died, far from peacefully.....so much pain....but he did it....he made it....he toughed it out.....never ever could I ever watch what happened with that strong ass hell of a man and go, aw fuck it.  He is my inspiration to at least endure the pain.


I talk about suicide a lot.  But I would never do it.  I hope so bad there is an after life.....i'd get to see my gma and gpa...my brother....my friends from this site that died....I want to embrace that....I want to actually move on, not fall back.


I have been saying things like "Im gonna just bathe with a toaster" m whole life.....my way of cheering myself up is so morbid.....but I am a knucklehead.




Thank you.....for real......I wish you could smack me right now...so I could say " thank you ".....I'm 29


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Suspector]
    #21681278 - 05/14/15 11:31 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Suspector said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
Your mom and therapist sound fucking retarded

I hope things get better soon man




Yeah, uhm, if your therapist told you that.. maybe sue his ass? or get him in trouble at the very least.


Isn't that sort of encouraging someone both from the mom and therapist to commit suicide? isn't that illegal?





I think it was cognitive therapy style....like "Why don't you just kill yourself" immediatly set up defenses in my brain to think " WTF ASSHOLE...Because...." the way some therapists work is weird.


My mom on the other hand actually told me suicide is a good option.....tice actually.....she's also mentioned to me several times the abortion clinic may have been a better option.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago] * 1
    #21681283 - 05/14/15 11:31 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Geeze, Van, sorry to hear that. For starters, your family sounds toxic. GTF away from them. And as for that so-called therapist, I'd be doing my best to get his ass fired.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Le_Canard]
    #21681293 - 05/14/15 11:37 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Really doubt the therapist was insinuating that van should kill himself; not only would that be unethical, it would jeopardize the doctor's practice as well. If not for simple decency, self-interest is a pretty strong motivator to not tell patients to kill themselves.
More than likely the doctor was just asking in a matter-of-fact way "why have you not yet killed yourself". If you're still alive, you have to have some decent answer to that.

Either way, no reason to act like a huge pussy about it all.
Yeah, life can blow sometimes. Moping about it is pretty retarded though. Hence, lol.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme]
    #21681309 - 05/14/15 11:43 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sVs said:
Really doubt the therapist was insinuating that van should kill himself; not only would that be unethical, it would jeopardize the doctor's practice as well. If not for simple decency, self-interest is a pretty strong motivator to not tell patients to kill themselves.
More than likely the doctor was just asking in a matter-of-fact way "why have you not yet killed yourself". If you're still alive, you have to have some decent answer to that.

Either way, no reason to act like a huge pussy about it all.
Yeah, life can blow sometimes. Moping about it is pretty retarded though. Hence, lol.





Echo?



Moping on a forum is hardily moping. Just shut the fuck up.  Seriously.  You are nothing but a fucking moron in this thread, and making yourself look shittier with every post. 

I am having hard times. I am seeking advice and console.  You are pathetic, sad, and preying on someone who is morbidly sad.  Go meditate or something.....or just get the fucking dick out of your ass and suck it clean.....either way....just stop typing.


Edited by vandago (05/15/15 12:22 AM)


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21681369 - 05/15/15 12:13 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

yeah I was being a bit cunty off the bat there. check your :pm:


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago] * 1
    #21681494 - 05/15/15 01:16 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Cheer up bro. Shit will get better.
Pretty sure almost all people contemplate suicide at some point or another. It's human nature at the low points. Just don't follow through.
I've definitely thought about it many times in the past..
If you have to go to jail... take it in stride. Use the time to better yourself and work on yourself. Just read like a madman.
6 months isn't really anything in the long run..Fuck man, I spent almost 8 months in jail for a fucking gram of weed, my first offense ever with no prior record. (fuck florida)
We've only met a few times I believe, didn't talk much because I'm a fucking introvert. But you are an awesome resilient dude, people care about you.. and you will make it out of this.

If there's one thing I've observed in all this time and your book feed updates and such.. it seems to me that state is just poison to you. And it doesn't sound like most of your family is helping the problem at all.
You should probably distance yourself from the toxic people in your life. Once you get out of jail, get your shit straight.. and my advice would be... MOVE as soon as you can. Get the fuck out of that state. 
A totally new environment and different people can do wonders for the psyche and your outlook. I know it was one of the best decisions I've ever made to move across the country when I was rotting away in my home state. I left with nothing too.. nothing but a backpack, a plane ticket and $40 in my pocket. I struggled for a bit, but made shit work and had lots of good experiences and now I have a family and shit.. when I wasn't really even planning on having one in the first place, but no regrets. Complete 180.
Now there's some aspect where people will say you can't run away from your problems.. if they are internal the problems will follow you.
That's true... but shit man.. I think I know you at least somewhat well enough after all these years, you are a good dude but have been dealt some shitty hands. Yeah, you've made some mistakes, we all do. But you are a good guy.
I think getting the FUCK out of that state as soon as possible and getting away from those toxic ass people in your life will go a LONG way. It would be refreshing.
If you get probation, see if you can get it transferred to whatever state you want to move to. It seems like you're in a cesspool surrounded by fucking toxins. Disown your family (at least the shitty ones). You'll be better off.

Here's a bitch smack from across the interwebs *Thwap*.. now quit being a knucklehead, get your shit together and get the fuck out of there!@ Much love bro.
If you ever want to talk just msg me, I've been through my share of tough shit as well, be glad to help.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Shroomism] * 2
    #21681767 - 05/15/15 04:55 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

It's a lot easier to wallow in self pity and ignore common sense advice that you know is true, though.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: idiotek]
    #21681854 - 05/15/15 05:58 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Who the fuck says I'm wallowing?



I'm now stuck in this county....I'm out of jail on bond....I have to stay in ohio until this case is done, and maybe for another 1.5 years.  I'm venting on a section of a forum made specifically for issues like this, and I'm not holding back.


Poor fucking me.


I'm not standing on the fucking side of the road with a bundle of roses that says "I have herpes please buy this rose"

I'm not screaming at my neighbors YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE MOTHERFUCKERS.

I'm merely depressed and venting on a fucking message board, in a section that has to do with sexuality and relationships.....who are you to say I'm not taking any of this advice and am just stamping my foot going GODDAMN HERPES.....I still get up and go to work....I didn't go...."Oh shit love bumps, I'm gonna go ahead and quit my job and start sucking dick for 3.50.



Why even post?


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Shroomism]
    #21681866 - 05/15/15 06:06 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
Cheer up bro. Shit will get better.
Pretty sure almost all people contemplate suicide at some point or another. It's human nature at the low points. Just don't follow through.
I've definitely thought about it many times in the past..
If you have to go to jail... take it in stride. Use the time to better yourself and work on yourself. Just read like a madman.
6 months isn't really anything in the long run..Fuck man, I spent almost 8 months in jail for a fucking gram of weed, my first offense ever with no prior record. (fuck florida)
We've only met a few times I believe, didn't talk much because I'm a fucking introvert. But you are an awesome resilient dude, people care about you.. and you will make it out of this.

If there's one thing I've observed in all this time and your book feed updates and such.. it seems to me that state is just poison to you. And it doesn't sound like most of your family is helping the problem at all.
You should probably distance yourself from the toxic people in your life. Once you get out of jail, get your shit straight.. and my advice would be... MOVE as soon as you can. Get the fuck out of that state. 
A totally new environment and different people can do wonders for the psyche and your outlook. I know it was one of the best decisions I've ever made to move across the country when I was rotting away in my home state. I left with nothing too.. nothing but a backpack, a plane ticket and $40 in my pocket. I struggled for a bit, but made shit work and had lots of good experiences and now I have a family and shit.. when I wasn't really even planning on having one in the first place, but no regrets. Complete 180.
Now there's some aspect where people will say you can't run away from your problems.. if they are internal the problems will follow you.
That's true... but shit man.. I think I know you at least somewhat well enough after all these years, you are a good dude but have been dealt some shitty hands. Yeah, you've made some mistakes, we all do. But you are a good guy.
I think getting the FUCK out of that state as soon as possible and getting away from those toxic ass people in your life will go a LONG way. It would be refreshing.
If you get probation, see if you can get it transferred to whatever state you want to move to. It seems like you're in a cesspool surrounded by fucking toxins. Disown your family (at least the shitty ones). You'll be better off.

Here's a bitch smack from across the interwebs *Thwap*.. now quit being a knucklehead, get your shit together and get the fuck out of there!@ Much love bro.
If you ever want to talk just msg me, I've been through my share of tough shit as well, be glad to help.





Man All my shit is packed and ready to go.  I got a storage unit 2 days prior to getting the domestic violence charge.

I have a comedy show june 6th I am actually getting paid decent for, and i was going to leave for the carolinas on the 8th, and stay gone......pay on my storage unit til I found a place to live....and just travel til I found that place......I had all my ducks in a row....I was weathering my family storm......then this shit with my brother happened and strapped me to the fucking ohio ground for another length of time.....goddamn trial isn't until mid june now, so it ruins my carolina trip/comedy tour.  It's gonna be gig....then court....probably jail.


All I'll be able to do in lock up is read books.  Since I have a past record of having a gun in my house while I was on prob, and being snetenced on DV, I'll be in max pod in one of the top ten worst cities in the entire country......youngstown jail is fucking HORRIBLE....


I am without a doubt, no questions asked, moving the second I am done with this court case....whether it be in june....or whether it be next year.....I'm done with my family and I am done with ohio....


But that feels so weird.......fuck you people who raised me and pretend to still care....and on christmas I will at least get flaming gifts :/


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21681943 - 05/15/15 07:07 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Is your brother that much of a total piece of shit that he won't drop the charges? That's some straight up fucking bullshit man


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Shroomism]
    #21682177 - 05/15/15 08:51 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

In some states domestic violence charges can't be dropped.  The state will pursue the case no matter what.


Van dude keep your head up. I would say once you get out try to cut off contact with the family as much as possible. They sound poison to you. If you can move. Hours away from them do that.  for me it was the only way I could have a relationship with my family excluding my grandparents. If I would have stayed I would have ended up killing my step dad. If he shows up to my wedding I told him I would chop him up to tiny little bits and throw him bit by bit in all the great lakes. Things suck right now but you've got to move on and take the bad with the good.


--------------------
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.



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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Shroomism]
    #21682353 - 05/15/15 09:49 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
Is your brother that much of a total piece of shit that he won't drop the charges? That's some straight up fucking bullshit man





He told the cops he didn't wanna press charges, but the local PD said arrest me, sheriff was even there and HE even said why the hell are you arresting him?  Then they made my bro come to the pre trial, and he again told the prosecutor no......at least I think he did.....I won;t get my motion of discovery til hune 3rd when I meet with my attorney.  No one filled a statement out besides the police officer.  I post the whole story in "ask an attorney" but got no advice really or opinion.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21682536 - 05/15/15 10:58 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Is it a stretch to ask your bro to help you out by cooperating with your lawyer at the trial? I'd guess the state won't have a case if your bro won't help them. Maybe you could reach out and ask him to help. He might have your back. You've got to handle these cluster-fuck problems one little shit pile at a time, and jail sounds like the biggest problem you've got right now.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Le_Canard]
    #21683666 - 05/15/15 03:49 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Le_Canard said:
Geeze, Van, sorry to hear that. For starters, your family sounds toxic. GTF away from them. And as for that so-called therapist, I'd be doing my best to get his ass fired.





QFT.  Change therapists right away.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Taco Chef]
    #21684257 - 05/15/15 06:29 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Ya the therapist is kind of a shitty therapist.  He hasn't done anything except tell me to look on the bright side every now and then.  I mainly just bitch at him about how I think I'm trapped in some crazy rigged hell, that is going to just run me dry my whole life til I turn to absolute nothing.  Life is pointless as I see it, and I am start to think the same shit just repeats over and over.....

I have been having the most intense nightmares ever.


Last night I dreamt I was at that 58 year old womans house to help her clean.....she pointed at a blue locked and told me when we were done she would be locking me in there.....

So I went to run out her door, then all the sudden there were ppl I knew all around me....but super intimidating, all exchanging 3 dollars back and forth.


My one friend says to me " I told you to keep your mouth shut on the phone when talking to me"....and him and all the other guys start pulling out all these modified weapons to look like toys...and crazy weird devices....they lead me to a mansion while they are telling me I should've paid more attention to detail and I was trapped with them for eternity.....

In the attic of the mansion was a purple bus....there were three very pasty white women in it waving at me, but they wouldn't talk to me....they had purple hair all fro'd out.

I went to walk on another staircase and 3 huge bald nazi looking dudes were up there and they were like " IM ABOUT TO JUST FUCKING START THE TORTURE NOW!!! DON'T WANDER AROUND THE MANSION!!!".....so I ran back outside.....

My friend says this is my midlife crisis....and hands me a business card with every sin I have committed on it, but a lot I hadn't like rape and murder and things like that......then all the other guys started putting there smart phones in my face and there was pics of me in all kinds of places I have never been doing evil shit I had never done.


One was a birdhouse made out of ceramic.....they said I poked a bunch of holes in it and kill the eggs...they should me the pictures.

Another way a mask the one guy made me once he said....but then I didn't like it and altered it...and he put a knife to my throat and said "I worked really fucking hard on that mask "


I'm telling them I did none of these things while cerberus shoal is playing in the backround ( really weird band ) and they are all still exchanging 3 dollars back and forth....


So the main friend says "You can still save your soul.....but you must commit no more sins, and do no more crimes tell you die at 58, not even weed.....or it's just gonna get worse with us in these dreams buddy...if you want eternal salvation, you have to get a job at big lots furniture store, and work there til you die on the job.....we don't care if you are happy or not....oh and by the way....you have a 10 year old daughter..


I said this is all a dream?  I can wake up at anytime?  He replied.....it's not like you are holding the remote though, and he pulled one out of his pocket and clicked it at me and I woke up in my bed drenched in sweat half in tears/half laughing.




I have dreams like that a lot too....very colorful and a ton of audio....sometimes more real the real life....and sometimes its sleep paralysis over my body being tortured.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21687702 - 05/16/15 05:26 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

You might not get in as much trouble as you think if your brother doesn't try and fuck you. Also herpes ain't so bad, just makes your dick ribbed for her pleasure.  Oh and also I like your posts and you da man.

You da man!
You da man!
You da man!

Stay strong, stay focused, work hard,  you'll eventually get to where you want to be.

And don't try arguing with me. I'm always right, all the time, even when I'm wrong. But I'm right about this.  Also try to get your hands on some clams.
They always help me out when I'm feeling blue.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: DTCharlieB]
    #21687776 - 05/16/15 05:57 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

:sad:


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21688042 - 05/16/15 07:13 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

i've had a shitty life since I crashed a 1000$ car:shrug:


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21688055 - 05/16/15 07:15 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

fuck em

a few nice dreams a year to look forward too right?


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21688115 - 05/16/15 07:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

how old are you?  do you take anti depressants?  If not, now is a good time to start.


There's people who have it worse.  DV 4? stop bitching. That is nothing,  When you're done feeling sorry for yourself and the pitty party you'll look back and see the obstacles you've overcome. 

How do you know you have herpies?  All they can test for to tell if you have them is antibodies (i believe). 
Even if you have them so do tons of other people.  Or you can just be by yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. Then you just have to take care of you, everyone dies alone anyway.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Konyap]
    #21688214 - 05/16/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Illyabo said:
i've had a shitty life since I crashed a 1000$ car:shrug:





In the last 8 weeks the tranny went out in my van.....so I switched to my box truck.....the engine blew immediatly.....so I bought a sable.....it was choppped to hell and worthless.....so I just got a dodge eagle a month ago and Just yesterday the engine locked up.

6400 bucks in 8 weeks.

That's including all the money I dumped into these vehicles.  The original van at least made it 2 years before the tranny went out...and the box truck was my home for 3 months when I lived in the woods.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: sprinkles] * 1
    #21688216 - 05/16/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

when everyone has herpes, it's like no one has herpes.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: sprinkles]
    #21688223 - 05/16/15 08:13 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sprinkles said:
how old are you?  do you take anti depressants?  If not, now is a good time to start.


There's people who have it worse.  DV 4? stop bitching. That is nothing,  When you're done feeling sorry for yourself and the pitty party you'll look back and see the obstacles you've overcome. 

How do you know you have herpies?  All they can test for to tell if you have them is antibodies (i believe). 
Even if you have them so do tons of other people.  Or you can just be by yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. Then you just have to take care of you, everyone dies alone anyway.







Your post has such a lack of reading comprehension it fucking hurts my brain.  I refuse to take SSRI's for one. 

2 the title of the fucking thread is "so I had my first herpes outbreak".....

So ya between the blisters all over my dick, and this cold sore at the same time.....plus the elvis culture I went and took as soon as I noticed them.....because I went to the er right away.

Pretty fucking sure.

And an M4 if I took a plea deal.....I'm being charged with an M1 DV which is 6 months in jail for my record, and if I ever fall into a situation again where someone uses the cops to their advantage in an argument....it's a felony.


But thanks for absolutely nothing.

Also pretty sure I stated my age too.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
    #21688236 - 05/16/15 08:16 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Acidic_Sloth said:
when everyone has herpes, it's like no one has herpes.





Well I count on science to start releasing those damn cures or whatever the conspiracy nuts keep blabbering on about.  I could be the magic johnson of herpes.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21689634 - 05/17/15 07:44 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I need a picture of the dick in question.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: sprinkles]
    #21689668 - 05/17/15 07:58 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Use your imagination.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: sprinkles]
    #21689676 - 05/17/15 08:01 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sprinkles said:
I need a picture of the dick in question.




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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: sprinkles]
    #21689772 - 05/17/15 08:49 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

This is how it always goes with women......they come in swinging and spitting, and then they try to start jerking and swallowing.


I do not have pictures of my outbreak.  just the dried up spot where it was.  It's been a couple weeks since I was tested. I posted this thread when I got the results.

No dick pics for you.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21689838 - 05/17/15 09:17 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

just some advise from what i leanred in my crazy outta control past.

learn to handle things one thing at a time. the therapist says suicide? get up and fire them on the spot. herpes? go get some meds to prevent outbreak on the spot?
mom being a toxic bitch? move out.

its much easier to handle the small things as they come up as opposed to letting all the small things become one big shit show.

right now i suggest doing everything in your power not to get locked up.  get a better attorney, do whats in your power, so you can set yourself up to go right after the court case.

your alright man.. some change of scenery, start fresh, it helped me the last 10 years of my life. it could help you as well.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: rackem]
    #21689958 - 05/17/15 10:02 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

rackem said:
just some advise from what i leanred in my crazy outta control past.

learn to handle things one thing at a time. the therapist says suicide? get up and fire them on the spot. herpes? go get some meds to prevent outbreak on the spot?
mom being a toxic bitch? move out.

its much easier to handle the small things as they come up as opposed to letting all the small things become one big shit show.

right now i suggest doing everything in your power not to get locked up.  get a better attorney, do whats in your power, so you can set yourself up to go right after the court case.

your alright man.. some change of scenery, start fresh, it helped me the last 10 years of my life. it could help you as well.






The only reason I moved in with my parents was to properly fix my truck ( which was converted into a mobile home ) and gtfo of ohio....they said they were going to leave the house in jan, and let me take over the bills if I wanted, or just leave....turns out when I moved in they hadn't been paying the bills for 6 months.

Once I moved in here it turned into HELL.  I have been here a couple months.  I decided to go to counseling and get back on psyche meds to weather the storm til I was out....I had everything planned.

Then the two vehicles fucked, and it jut turned into the fucked used car game.....which put me in the hole severely with people....I had to borrow money to figure everything out.

So I paid everyone back with the job I got, and still have.....literally had that job for like a week, and my brother showed up out of the blue with a pistol to me.....I haven't seen the dude in months, or heard from him really....

Since I go charged with DV I'm out on bail now.  I can't move without court approval, and I have no where in this county or area I can go except an elderly womans house that just wants to fuck me all the time.

I don't really think a sugar mama is a good idea for me.

The counselor does fucking suck.  He's already recommended 3 books that he spoiled the entire book for me.....he calls me an asshole ( I am )....he even spoiled the end of 2 and a half men after I told him my gpa and I watched it all the time together and I stopped watching it when he passed, but did wanna see how it ended....so he was like oh this happened.


I am literally stuck right now.  I don't have the funds to get a place.  The sheriff served a warrant on this house bc my family quit paying the mortgage.  We all have to leave it in the next 30 days, and my trial date is 30 days from now.

If I cop out to the plea deal of probation, I will have to put my dogs somewhere and go to a homeless shelter.....PO's around here make you have a physical address.


It's like I deal with everything ( I got the valtrex immediatly ), and it falls apart.  This new van was my key to getting the fuck outta here and having only car problems to worry about til I found work and a place elsewhere.....now the damn van took a shit...

It seriously looks like I'll be rehoming my dogs for 6 months and going to jail....I dunno how else this could play out.....unless I win the trial ( I should dammit, I was in defense ).....then I am getting a greyhound ticket to somewhere else and fitting what I can in a pack and going there.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21689963 - 05/17/15 10:04 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

sprinkles can't help herself. she's a cock-addicted herp-factory.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme]
    #21689973 - 05/17/15 10:07 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I get where you and her are coming from now though. My OP was fucking bitch 101.


I was pretty damn drunk.

Shit hit me like a cannonball though.  I was at breaking point as it was....which is probably why I had the outbreak....so much stress.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21689990 - 05/17/15 10:13 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

all the van needs is a transmission right?


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: rackem]
    #21690019 - 05/17/15 10:21 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

That van is gone....I had it 2 years, and the tranny blew.....it was riding on it's last leg it was a 99.


The box truck was an 83....I put so much money into that fucking thing, and it would run like 30 miles before it shit out again and something else needed fixed.

The 4 banger I bought after that wasn't driveable....dude chopped off all the cat's from the bottom.


This van I just got only has 116K  needed work.....put the work into it....then the starter or something went out....I don't know.....won't turn over, just clicks.....my mechanic said it was the fly wheel.....and my step dad says the starter needs shimmed.....I have replaced and repositioned the starter twice hoping to get it securely in there, but it turns the starter on.....doesn't catch the fly wheel....


So either the engine blew in this van, the fly wheel needs replaced, or it has wiring problems...


In any case I can't drive it, and I have been covered in grease and oil for 3 days taking shit apart and putting it back together, cleaning wires etc.....nothing is working.  I don't even know how I am getting to work tomorrow.

If it is the fly wheel, you gotta drop the tranny out to get to the engine and then take the engine apart, and the fly wheel is 100 bucks used.  It's a goddamn shit show.  It's my fault.  I'm just sad....and it's hard to function when nothing that you do works.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21690207 - 05/17/15 11:22 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

dont listen to w/e sVs says, hes a sad excuse for a human being.

u should get ur therapist fired


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Sheekle]
    #21690210 - 05/17/15 11:24 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

svshrt
:haha:


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Sheekle]
    #21690352 - 05/17/15 12:20 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
dont listen to w/e sVs says, hes a sad excuse for a human being.

u should get ur therapist fired






I think asking me why I don't commit suicide is a viable question?

Why not?  Offer's always on the table.  I never take it.  I think about it obviously. I keep getting kicked in my proverbial dick, and now my real dick is on fire.  I mean I must have some reason to live, and I think he was trying to stir those thoughts out of me.  Shock therapy or something.....and getting counselors fired, and finding new ones, and firing attorneys....all looks bad before court.....like I'm trying to make the win no matter what.


I'm gonna tough it out til the 17th.....which is my trial.....with him and see how it goes.  If I win the trial I don't even need him anymore, or anyone, I got this.....if I lose the trial I'm going to jail for 6 months, and getting out with a year of probation.....which the PO will give me a court appointed counselor and I will have no choice......you think this counselors bad?


I had to file a restraining order on a counselor before because she would show up at my meetings and start harassing me....she would be at various clinics and start harassing me.....even after I filed it she was working at a DUI camp I was at and was trying to force me into her group, and I had to get the director and explain to him, her and I's relationship.


She was screaming at me, telling me I was the cause of my gpas natural death, and I was a piece of shit scum bag that faked problems for attention, and that I was scurge to her and if I didn't go by her ways I was sure to die within a year.....5 years ago....


Some counselors should be stripped of their right to talk to any human, let alone one in a private office.  Race and gender play a big role in the counseling world here in ohio as well.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21690409 - 05/17/15 12:32 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

dude this is an easy fix.

if your starter just clicks it is not the flywheel.

if you go in to start the vehicle and you hear a whimm type spinning noise then yes it is your flywheel. if it is just clicking go out and do two things.

turn the motor over by hand from the front crank bolt. if the motor spins its still operable. then i would take a hammer and wrap on the starter solenoid then try to start the vehicle. chances are the solenoid is bad on the starter and wont engage the flywheel. the hit with the hammer will give you a few more starts.. then just replace the starter.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: rackem]
    #21690427 - 05/17/15 12:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I just put a brand new starter in.  We did try spinning the fan on the engine and it does spin.  I heard even brand new starters can be junk though?


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago] * 1
    #21690436 - 05/17/15 12:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

new puppies are born dead just like new parts are born dead. ive seen more busted parts out of the box than i care to imagine


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: rackem]
    #21690460 - 05/17/15 12:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Thats what I heard.  So it was clicking....but I jumped it and cleaned the battery terminals and the starter tarted whizzing really loud but not engaging the fly wheel.  Is it possible I have the wires backwards on the starter?


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21690486 - 05/17/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

i guess it could be possible... on that type of starter. typically the ones i have come across have a + and - on the terminal where the red/black wires go respectively.

if you can get a ride, take your new starter to a checker/shucks/cragen (whatever is in your area) and they will test it for free.

if your motor will turn by hand but the starter only clicks, i dont forsee it being a flywheel issue. specially if you turned it by hand it should find some teeth in the flywheel at some point.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21690521 - 05/17/15 01:04 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Both the wires going into the starter, coming from the ignition, are red.  Whoever wired them didn't use a posi and negi wire.....just two red ones.  If I switch them around on the starter it's not going to like....blow up...is it?  Sorry for my ignorance.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21690558 - 05/17/15 01:14 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

it shouldnt blow up no..

the best way to check is if you have a multimeter and check to see which one is positive if you have a meter or dvom available i can walk you through the process.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: rackem]
    #21690604 - 05/17/15 01:29 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

My boss apparently used to be a master mechanic and is on his way over with a multimeter.  We use em at work so I am familiar with them....but it's for like fuse boxes on houses and trailers.  I'm a contractor.....I think I'd rather be a mechanic though, so I've been watching everything everyone is doing.  If I get put on probation and am forced to stay in ohio another year I am going to mechanic school. It's only a few gran.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21690806 - 05/17/15 02:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

sweet.. all you will have to do is key on engine off and see which red wire is hot.

i graduated from uti. the only mistake i made was turned a hobby into a career. 

i would suggest it man, knowing that you never have to take your vehicle to a shop helps me sleep at night


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: rackem]
    #21691008 - 05/17/15 03:33 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

I dont always take my car in but when I do I usually know what's wrong with it and just don't have the Weekend to work on it.

Finding a good one is hard. Finding a good honest one is even harder but I move around a fair amount. If it's a starter that's easy I'm sure you have the tools as a contractor to do it.  I've done some pretty rednecked things to cars . And all I used was the internet and lots of beer .

I can always get them started when needed  and my cars are worth less 3k . But hey dude if you can contract you can change the starter .


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: trekie]
    #21691961 - 05/17/15 07:17 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Well.....I did what was adviced...


I focused on the problem at hand.....found out what it was.


Turns out my van had a KILLSWITCH under the gas pedal....you know so you could press it and be like " Shit we broke down...now what"

RAPE VAN!

So we ripped that sucker out....and we repositioned the starter, my boss came over and we tested everything.....turns out the killswitch was preventing the ignition to properly engage the starter.

So it burnt the starter and ignition out, but I replaced the starter...so now I just shove a screw driver into the starter and boom.....good to go.  Just need to get a steering wheel removal kit, and ignition switch and I am good to go.


It's weird how this thread went to burnt dick, to getting my car fixed.


I fucking love you guys.  Even the tough love fuck you's......It got me off my ass.

I fucking love you guys
I fucking love you guys
I fucking love you guys

Everyone in this thread has literally made me look at my situation in a better light.....now just focus on the court case, forget about the herpes, and work hard at my job.....


Seriously thank you.


this is why I vent on the shroomery.  Its not facebook....it's not face to face....and it's an intelligent discussion from all angles that leads to a better understanding of who I am posting with.


Goddamn I haven't been so relieved in a while....work tomorrow is gonna rock.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21692015 - 05/17/15 07:33 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

shit didnt see that coming.

glad you got that beast up and running man.. and if you have a harbor freight in your area they have the steering wheel pullers for about 12 bucks.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21692198 - 05/17/15 08:21 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Theres a place called o reillys that'll rent me one for like 20 bucks, then refund the money when I bring it back, so I'm doing that tomorrow.



This thread was a total win for me.  I actually dont even care about the herpes quite as much, and im going to get some bloodwork and a 2nd opinion on them anyways.


Even if I have em.....whatever.....Still got my heart and soul and that's more then enough.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21692219 - 05/17/15 08:27 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

rentals work as well.

yeah man good for you dude.  improve the situation dont look back man.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21692235 - 05/17/15 08:33 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Keep up the good work, man:thumbup:. If you're feeling up to it and you think it can be done, try calling up your bro and talking out your immediate problem with him. He could be a big help in winning your legal battle. If he didn't want to press charges when that shit went down, then I'll bet he doesn't like the idea of you going to jail over that shit either. If he testifies in your favor, then you've got a HUGE advantage.

Also, you made the right choice by removing a rape van from the world. Thanks for that.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21692323 - 05/17/15 08:54 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

O o o  o ' Reilly's, auto farts.

Sorry I know that's not funny.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: DTCharlieB] * 1
    #21692327 - 05/17/15 08:55 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

but you went ahead and posted it anyway.
Good job, I hope you feel better.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #21692359 - 05/17/15 09:03 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
Keep up the good work, man:thumbup:. If you're feeling up to it and you think it can be done, try calling up your bro and talking out your immediate problem with him. He could be a big help in winning your legal battle. If he didn't want to press charges when that shit went down, then I'll bet he doesn't like the idea of you going to jail over that shit either. If he testifies in your favor, then you've got a HUGE advantage.

Also, you made the right choice by removing a rape van from the world. Thanks for that.





The court set a no contact order between my bro and I.

Now if he called me....it would be perfect...cause he would be the one in violation of the order and I would for sure win the trial.


The thing with the system is.....I want to reconcile with him.....but they are the ones pressin charges.....they make it so much harder putting me behind bars.....he never pressed charges, the states did.


Everyone knows this already. But. Fuck ohio.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21692389 - 05/17/15 09:09 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

they put a no contact order in place? the fuck is that shit?


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: rackem]
    #21692451 - 05/17/15 09:29 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

They do the same thing in wv. The state presses charges for any DV incident that's called in to the police and there's really no way to stop it.  It's usually a waste of time and tax payer money because the majority of the time if neither party wants to pursue it it gets thrown out in court.  Not to mention a waste of time and money to the defendants in the case.

Came about from girls getting beat up by their boyfriends all the time then pressing charges only to drop them a few days later then repeating the process.  Usually cases like the ops get thrown out.  But I'm not aware of past history of run in's with the law with the op so it's hard to tell how it will turn out.  If he has a relatively clean record and his bro doesn't go into court telling a bunch of lies he should be good to go.


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: DTCharlieB]
    #21692516 - 05/17/15 09:45 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

yeah dude that whole state intervention thing sounds fucked.

i understand if they dont have a plaintiff they dont have a case they shouldnt take the role as the plaintiff, they had nothing to do with it.  shitty loophole fix on the states part. they should just go with restraining orders and not fuck with peoples livelyhood


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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21692704 - 05/17/15 10:41 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Aya brew would probably be a better choice then pulling the trigger.






I was actually thinking of mentioning that as my past experiences in ceremony were one of the things that really got me through my current situation. Sorry to hear it brother, but keep looking for that silver lining. It's there I promise. Around november i started developing odd neurological complications followed by a long and brutal cancer scare after they pulled a pseudosarcoma out of my face (a benign tumor that at the time could not be ruled benign because it so highly resembled an incurable and extremely rare connective tissue cancer which would be a perfect explanation for my neurological issues). Well by some stroke of dumb luck I made it out of that one. But I'm still here house bound because my neuropathy sucks so hard. Going to get tested for HIV tomorrow because it's the last unchecked and known cause of the symptoms I have. I'm scared to shit but it is what it is. The whole journey through this crap turned my life around for the better though (assuming I'm not just going to die or live in pain forever :lol:). My eating habits have taken a 180, i'm exercising more, and in general just milking my reality for all it's worth. Taking the time to learn lots of cool things, relax and give myself space from the fast paced life i used to live, and doing whatever i can to better myself. I used to just sit around and study, then get fucked up out of boredom when i was done because i had no other hobbies. So constant annoying pain and a life of substance? Or no pain and constant dissociation from the things that are most beautiful in life? It's all in where you want to align your sights. Is this the end of your journey? Or the start down a new path? You can not change that the path you were on has come to an end, but you have all the control on where you go from here.

On that note there are some pretty cool anti-viral plants out there. Off the top of my head olive leaf extract and oregano oil. I have no signs of herpes so i don't know what affect they have on that, but it could be something to look into. If i remember correctly some of the reviews on a few products on amazon actually commented on how effectively OLE helped control the symptoms but i mightttt be confusing it with another STD. I don't think i am though. Just offering some random nugget of info in case you choose to pursue researching it. When I was told I might have a sarcoma for which there was no cure, and i knew that it was likely metastatic due to my pain, I was forced to really look outside the box in terms of options and I found that there were hundreds upon hundreds of scientific studies on chemicals found in ordinary foods for their natural (and sometimes very potent) anti-cancer effects, with no funding for followup research in humans. I don't know what the prognosis is like for herpes or what the side effects of conventional medication are in this particular case nor do i know what alternative options are present. But, i do know that empowering myself with that kind of information was really helpful to my mental state. By the time I was done  researching I was almost disappointed to find out my tumor was benign because I was armed for battle :lol: I'm not making medical recommendations btw, just saying what helped me. Because in the end it's not about whether you live or die, or whether you're sick or healthy. It's how well you play the cards you're dealt and how good of a life you life while you're here. Pain aside my life is a 10/10 right now.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21692725 - 05/17/15 10:48 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
Keep up the good work, man:thumbup:. If you're feeling up to it and you think it can be done, try calling up your bro and talking out your immediate problem with him. He could be a big help in winning your legal battle. If he didn't want to press charges when that shit went down, then I'll bet he doesn't like the idea of you going to jail over that shit either. If he testifies in your favor, then you've got a HUGE advantage.

Also, you made the right choice by removing a rape van from the world. Thanks for that.





The court set a no contact order between my bro and I.

Now if he called me....it would be perfect...cause he would be the one in violation of the order and I would for sure win the trial.


The thing with the system is.....I want to reconcile with him.....but they are the ones pressin charges.....they make it so much harder putting me behind bars.....he never pressed charges, the states did.


Everyone knows this already. But. Fuck ohio.




What a fucking stupid law. Instead of just letting this whole thing diffuse after the police show up, they fuck the situation up worse, and then waste the court's time with it. Ohio...:facepalm:

Can your lawyer or a friend contact your bro on your behalf? Maybe there's some work around like asking a trustworthy family member to indirectly mediate the communication.


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #21693381 - 05/18/15 03:50 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
Quote:

vandago said:
Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
Keep up the good work, man:thumbup:. If you're feeling up to it and you think it can be done, try calling up your bro and talking out your immediate problem with him. He could be a big help in winning your legal battle. If he didn't want to press charges when that shit went down, then I'll bet he doesn't like the idea of you going to jail over that shit either. If he testifies in your favor, then you've got a HUGE advantage.

Also, you made the right choice by removing a rape van from the world. Thanks for that.





The court set a no contact order between my bro and I.

Now if he called me....it would be perfect...cause he would be the one in violation of the order and I would for sure win the trial.


The thing with the system is.....I want to reconcile with him.....but they are the ones pressin charges.....they make it so much harder putting me behind bars.....he never pressed charges, the states did.


Everyone knows this already. But. Fuck ohio.




What a fucking stupid law. Instead of just letting this whole thing diffuse after the police show up, they fuck the situation up worse, and then waste the court's time with it. Ohio...:facepalm:

Can your lawyer or a friend contact your bro on your behalf? Maybe there's some work around like asking a trustworthy family member to indirectly mediate the communication.





That would be badgering a witness, and still breaking a no contact order.


I have a HUGE criminal history, ALL drug related.....no violence, no sex, no thievery. but they still frown on psychedelics here like it's fucking murder. 

The only "witness" in the case is the cop that arrested me, and she omitted in the report that my brother pulled a gun on me.  She's being sued to testify by my lawyer because she left that part out of her arrest report...

Her arrest report says I was drunk at 11 am, and that I came out of my room screaming and swinging at him.  She is going to have to take the stand, and she's going to have to say there was in fact HIS gun laying on the kitchen counter when they were called.....so unless she lies under oath, I assume that I will win.....they are pursuing thefuck out of this.


I want my parents to testify because they were there, and they both know I didn't punch him, nor was a drunk, and he def pulled out a gun.....but they are refusing to testify on either's behalf.

Ohio is seriously fucking stupid.....and I knew this....yet stayed.....I have some really close friends here.....but goddamn it's just not working out here legally and emorionally.  It's just as cloudy here as it is in washington most times.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21693820 - 05/18/15 09:23 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

It sounds like you've got a lot going for you even without anybody's testimony. I doubt your bro will fuck you over when he's on the stand too. I was a bit worried you might have been too sad to handle this situation well, but I'm less worried about you now that I see you're seriously on top of this. That cop will probably walk out of the court room in embarrassment by the end of this bullshit. Enjoy that when it happens.


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OfflineUzziel
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Mr.GuessWork] * 2
    #21694606 - 05/18/15 01:36 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sVs said:
wow you have cancer too?
Gosh I am really sorry for being so brash! Hey man, life is always gonna get better and people will be nice to you :smile:

It's totally not your fault and I think you are a great person going through a really tough time. There is just no way you could have wrecked your own personal life. 
Matter of fact, I think it's safe to say that having cancer absolves you of all responsibility at all.
You should probably keep venting, sounds like you've got a lot to work on!!





What the fuck is this shit?

Why the fuck are you even here? You get little kicks out of being a fucking internet keyboard warrior or some shit?

God damn your life must be pathetic if this is what you do for kicks

I really don't get how you are not banned for this fucking bullshit, the level of fuckery in your posts is just disgusting really.

Fucking kids these days


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: Uzziel]
    #21694721 - 05/18/15 02:19 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

yeah he and I already hashed our shit out like adults, but you're welcome to keep venting your impotent, self-righteous indignation if it makes you feel any better.

god damn fuck shit fucking shitty fucks!


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme] * 1
    #21695022 - 05/18/15 03:59 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sVs said:
yeah he and I already hashed our shit out like adults, but you're welcome to keep venting your impotent, self-righteous indignation if it makes you feel any better.

god damn fuck shit fucking shitty fucks!




"Our" shit? You realize several people are criticizing you for being a dick right? Do you know the common denominator in that equation? Hint: it's you. OP made this thread for him and his problems and anyone who was willing to listen. You and OP have no mutual "shit" that needed hashing out. You were just a jackoff from the start. There was nothing "adult" about that either. Adults share a degree of relateability from life experience and use that to guide the inexperienced away from making the same mistakes. They don't hide behind a layer of constant dope-fog and pretend to be shining examples of success while blaming others for all the bad things that happen in this world. They accept responsibility as part of the problem and use that experience to move towards greener pastures.


Edited by JacksonMetaller (05/18/15 04:00 PM)


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Invisiblesomething super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #21695038 - 05/18/15 04:06 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

except our shit's been resolved and clarified via :pm:, we both admitted we were being fuckers, and the only people left with rustled jimmies about it are you and some other faggots.
chill out


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Invisiblerackem
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Registered: 11/27/09
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: vandago]
    #21695366 - 05/18/15 05:55 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

what is it with ohio man? i could understand pursuing this if it was a man vs woman charge but 2 brothers? who gives a shit.


--------------------


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Invisibletrekie
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: rackem]
    #21695383 - 05/18/15 05:59 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

If I got the cops called every time things got physical in my family we would all be in jail.


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: So I had my first herpes outbreak, [Re: something super extreme]
    #21695967 - 05/18/15 08:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

sVs said:
except our shit's been resolved and clarified via :pm:, we both admitted we were being fuckers, and the only people left with rustled jimmies about it are you and some other faggots.
chill out




Well i can't be expected to know what happened in PM's can i? Only your unwarranted posts on here


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