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HU Fan7.62
Pill Popper


Registered: 04/19/15
Posts: 96
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Extremely depressed
#21658722 - 05/09/15 07:38 PM (9 years, 10 days ago) |
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So I've been depressed tried all the meds they're just shit and I've been drinking, cutting and doing a lot of drugs for a long time and it's worked pretty good for a while but now nothing is helping and last time I got this bad I attempted suicide but I'm sorta a religious person and I'm afraid if I do that I'll end up somewhere worse which is the only thing keeping me alive. I've lost the will to live a long time ago so I guess I'm living a meaningless life with no escape, I wanna be happy again but I feel like I don't deserve it. I know I'm weak for posting this but idk what else to do.
-------------------- Yeah call the doc, I must be sick Better get me my medicine Now it's Five 0' Clock, on the phone again I think I might need another prescription
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Depression is so fucking awful man. I spent something like 6 months wishing every day I wouldn't wake up. I got myself out of it for awhile. It came back but that insanely dark place never came back
That desire to hurt myself is so much less prominent
What are you doing with your life right now?
--------------------
A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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Fog1
Apprentice


Registered: 04/04/15
Posts: 358
Loc: USA
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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I've spent my whole life in a constant battle with depression ..
I have tried all the Doctors and Psychiatrists pills,plus therapy and councilor visits.
Years of drug and alcohol usage. And am currently dealing with another round of depression. What works best for me is getting out of myself and helping others until I process through my emotions. Some people may need medical help if they are thinking of harming themselves or others. Let someone you know and trust know what is going on NOW.
Better days are ahead
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HU Fan7.62
Pill Popper


Registered: 04/19/15
Posts: 96
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Re: Extremely depressed [Re: Fog1]
#21658792 - 05/09/15 08:05 PM (9 years, 10 days ago) |
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For me it's just like I'll have a good day or two then it'll slowly start back worse. I'm seeing a psychiatrist now and my friends know a lot about what's going on they do what they can to help and I'm thankful for it but it's only enough to make me feel better a day or so at most then it comes back.
-------------------- Yeah call the doc, I must be sick Better get me my medicine Now it's Five 0' Clock, on the phone again I think I might need another prescription
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Shroomantisy22
Universal Soul Searcher


Registered: 04/21/15
Posts: 56
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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I hope I may reach out from this cyber portal and send you some words of encouragement or any other positive words I can come up with that may inspire some form of happiness, even if only for a brief moment. I am feeling these days that our global consciousness is reaching a pivotal breaking point. One that will be ruff for some and smooth for others. A transition or evolution of sorts. Some souls will find themselves extremely lost and without means to find there way. Even understand why this is happening. Others will smoothly shift gears and feel as if nothing is different at all. The way we live is changing so fast. I am not sure what religion you find yourself subscribing too, but this in it of itself could be one of the root causes of your turmoil or pain. I am wondering if you have ever done any research on religions? One only needs to look within to find your god. Who ever that may be to you, that god resides within you. This is not something external or separate from you. In regards to making that ultimate sacrifice - Suicide. I am so sorry you are feeling these feelings. Life can be so many things and all of which reside within your own personal perspective. Which makes your own reality true for you. I myself find myself to be very spiritual, with a belief in a higher power. God, or anything you may call it I believe. My belief that I find makes sense to me is something very personal and what resonates with me. It is not my job on this earth to convince any other soul that my belief is the belief. That is what religion has done for centuries. Tell you that this is the way to believe. Crossing over the veil into the truth of it all will find you so very happy. Taking your life would be your own personal choice, and one that would find you no punishment at all. I am sure you are an amazing person with gifts to offer others, and this world. Look within, look with microscopic eyes, super sensitive ears, and listen to your being. Let your being talk to you and give you some answers. Look with in not with your eyes, but with your soul.
I wish you answers, I wish you happiness, I wish you connection, acceptance, peace, honor, dignity, light and most importantly Love.
-------------------- The inquiry ‘Who Am I?’ represents the deepest spiritual quest mankind has ever known. In three incredibly short words, it asks several existential questions, including those like ‘What is consciousness?’ and ‘What does it mean to be alive?’ So what’s the answer?
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Halayudha
Empath



Registered: 01/02/15
Posts: 242
Loc: fresh air, nature, warm-i...
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Hey brother, you came to the right place. at least, in this case.
Hug, smile, and love sent to ya from out here in cyber-space. . Ahem, oklahoma.
I know at the moment we don't know each other, but I really feel like we're all one family, so I just wanted to say all will be well, and I'll keep you in my prayers, friend.
-------------------- Call me not rebel, though { here at every word {in what I sing If I no longer hail thee { King and Lord { Lord and King
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HU Fan7.62
Pill Popper


Registered: 04/19/15
Posts: 96
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Thank you everyone I do feel some peace of mind now, but I just feel like who I am just isn't good enough I feel like I'm always gonna mess up and be a disappointment to myself and everyone around me tho. Guess I really need to work on my self esteemt. I feel a little hope now tho which is something I've been missing for quite awhile and I'm glad it's back.
-------------------- Yeah call the doc, I must be sick Better get me my medicine Now it's Five 0' Clock, on the phone again I think I might need another prescription
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Fog1
Apprentice


Registered: 04/04/15
Posts: 358
Loc: USA
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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Re: Extremely depressed [Re: Halayudha]
#21658875 - 05/09/15 08:26 PM (9 years, 10 days ago) |
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I am so pleased to see multiple people reply on this post.
Makes me feel good.
Once again better days are ahead.
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 12,885
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 11 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: Extremely depressed [Re: Halayudha]
#21658878 - 05/09/15 08:27 PM (9 years, 10 days ago) |
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depression is a tricky bitch.
you have to FORCE your way up and out.
theres one neat trick i like, because 1) its free and 2) it works.
if you can thing of something that spontaniously makes you smile.
like... puppies romping in a pile.
or laugh ... like america's funniest home videos before you got sick of it.
chemicals go off in your brain that actually fight depression.
not saying that you should be off your meds. but finding things that make you laugh and feel good. and focusing on whatever positives you can is something you can do with or without the meds.
we care around these parts. and hope you stay strong and find your groove and motivate yourself to stay strong and alive because we are your family and we dont want you feeling bad.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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HU Fan7.62
Pill Popper


Registered: 04/19/15
Posts: 96
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Re: Extremely depressed [Re: rxb]
#21658923 - 05/09/15 08:39 PM (9 years, 10 days ago) |
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This forum has been so helpful I'd like to just thank everyone again. It's so amazing to feel hope again
-------------------- Yeah call the doc, I must be sick Better get me my medicine Now it's Five 0' Clock, on the phone again I think I might need another prescription
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 12,885
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 11 hours, 8 minutes
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see if you can carry that feeling with you and take it out to fight the creeps man, you'll lick it in no time.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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Halayudha
Empath



Registered: 01/02/15
Posts: 242
Loc: fresh air, nature, warm-i...
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Quote:
HU Fan7.62 said: This forum has been so helpful I'd like to just thank everyone again. It's so amazing to feel hope again 
Hope is one of the most wonderful things.. pretty much literally makes us about 25% stronger, more or less. . . plus it's completely free to give and share. .
so, thank you for your post, because when you post things like that, it feels like a reciprocation that definitely has the same impact on others
peace and love

joy and hope

and good health.
-------------------- Call me not rebel, though { here at every word {in what I sing If I no longer hail thee { King and Lord { Lord and King
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Cosmopolite
Wannabe Linguist



Registered: 03/27/15
Posts: 192
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Extremely depressed [Re: Halayudha] 1
#21659185 - 05/09/15 09:52 PM (9 years, 10 days ago) |
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You aren't weak for expressing yourself. Seriously if you wan't to feel better you need to exercise and cultivate yourself. Read a book, go somewhere new, strike up conversations with strangers, and exercise! I have many years of experience with depression and i can tell you that exercise is the best thing you can do to feel better.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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I definitely agree with Cosmopolite's post. Change of scenery and that type of thing is generally very psychologically beneficial, and walking is pretty much the best exercise, if you walk a few miles a day. One other thing is drinking water, that's probably the most effective health advice I've ever discovered.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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Climbhigher
Spore Hoarder



Registered: 04/13/15
Posts: 252
Loc: Vancouver Island / S. Alb...
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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I know what you are going through, I have struggled with mental illness my whole life. The last few years had been particularly bad. The best advice I can give is stay as far away from the booze as you can. Depression and booze are a recipe for disaster, just get it out of your life the shit is no good. Meditate and talk about your issues, no booze, do those three things and it will slowly get better. Medication helps but for me making positive choices ie: diet, excercise, supplements, made the biggest difference... Honest. Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to. Cheers.
Edited by Climbhigher (05/09/15 11:33 PM)
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HU Fan7.62
Pill Popper


Registered: 04/19/15
Posts: 96
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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I'm feeling much better today and I'd just like to say I'm extremely happy to see how many people care...I'm sobering up for the most part no alcohol or opiates (except in recommended doses for my back) and limiting myself to weed which helps me feel less depressed, 1mg of Klonopin a day as prescribed for panic, Vyvanse as prescribed and switching to mullein rather than tobacco in my cigarettes also vaping more rather than smoking I know that smoking doesn't really effect depression but I'm just trying to become healthier in general.
-------------------- Yeah call the doc, I must be sick Better get me my medicine Now it's Five 0' Clock, on the phone again I think I might need another prescription
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Climbhigher
Spore Hoarder



Registered: 04/13/15
Posts: 252
Loc: Vancouver Island / S. Alb...
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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The important thing is to do whatever you need to do to get out of bed in the morning, and take baby steps. I was so medicated I could barely think, this went on for over a year. Little by little I made steps to improve myself and now I'm 100% medication free. I take a lot of supplements, which ironically cost more than the meds lol. But I can think and function. I am lucky to have a family who supports me and is not afraid to call me out when I'm not taking care of myself. We live in a world that poisons our mind our food and our spirits, that's why so many of us get this way, it's even worse when you understand what's going on in the world. Consider yourself lucky, having a snap is a gift, a fresh start like a brain reset.
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HU Fan7.62
Pill Popper


Registered: 04/19/15
Posts: 96
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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I've been on a few of different medication for depression and anxiety which I found horrible the ones I'm on now are Mirtazapine which is great for my insomnia and helps a little with depression, Vyvanse which helps me get up and start the day and Klonopin for anxiety and panic attacks I can take these and not feel like a zombie and they help somewhat especially the Klonopin I haven't had a single panic attack since I started it. Before I had tried Prozac, Zoloft, Buspar and Trazadone which made my depression worse and put me in the hospital 3 times so I'm glad to be off them.
-------------------- Yeah call the doc, I must be sick Better get me my medicine Now it's Five 0' Clock, on the phone again I think I might need another prescription
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rxb
n00b-sabot



Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 12,885
Loc: FREE PSYCHONAUTICA
Last seen: 11 hours, 8 minutes
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i've never been diagnosed with depression i question it from time to time but its never been anything overwhelming i do find that psyilicibin microdosing boosts my mood for days .
but i cant say its not placebo.
and i cant say how it would chemically react with whatevers going on with you.
i am curious tho.
-------------------- ->$10 FLOW HOOD ALTERNATIVE <- . i cleaned a mold contaminated live culture and saved it. (might have useful applications) [quote]Enlil said: I'd be the guy with thousands of minions doing my bidding and all of the hot women locked in a cage for my use.[/quote]
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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what anti depressants have you tried? I've taken paxil, zoloft, cymbalta, amitriptaline, trazadone, and out of all those prescribed cymbalta worked the best. I take my friends prozac sometimes and I can tell the difference right away, like the next day. Its the one antidepressant that actually works for me that I can feel.
When your give a fuck breaks its hard to care about anything... I think the solution is to find something worth living for,.
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