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OfflineEarth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
*DELETED*
    #2165340 - 12/06/03 11:20 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Post deleted by Earth_Droid


Edited by Earth_Droid (12/07/03 12:28 AM)


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InvisibleCracka_X
Spiritual Dirt Worshipper
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 8,780
Loc: Swamp
Re: I am one less step to killing myself [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #2165400 - 12/06/03 11:54 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

why don't you stop abusing and preoccupy yourself with something you like besides drugs.

a sport or hobby


--------------------
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao        ~Daodejing


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: I am one less step to killing myself [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #2165421 - 12/07/03 12:09 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

It seems to me that there are people on here who care for you. I liked this place when i first came here cause i felt there were people that would welcome me. But a lot of times i feel ignored, cast out, that the majority of people on here think nagative things of me. I know i shouldnt care, it is a message board... i understand that, but i still feel it. Were not robots are we?.

What i might say might not change anything.
But it might help boost you, to where you can make that choice.
To live or die is a choice we have every single day. The world could end by tomorrow, and it may go on, and on, and on... way beyond our species. But that we dont know, and so we must have some kind of faith or something to keep up going, and accept that some things are unknown.

I cant tell you if you are crazy or not, i see someone who feels isolated, and alienated, you are in a group home I presume? Do you have any family that you can talk to? Its a hard road man, i know, its cold sometimes... But you know that people respond to you, must show  that they care, or else they wouldnt post, right? Im not replying to you because im trying to tell you its not alright that you leave me, or this world, or this board, im posting this because i see an individual who is hurt, more or less i feel that you need someone to be real with you. Or Someone that is going to talk to you and not tell you what you have done wrong. Something that seems thats not so prevelant in your life.

I dont come to support group central very often, and i know i take a risk when i try to help other individuals, i know this could very well send you on the wrong path, but i hope that you will see and make the best decision for yourself. WHile i wouldnt like you to go, and i dont think anyone else would, i think you truely dont want to either. I think its in all of us to want to live and have the best things in life continue. When everything seems like it has gone from us, it seems like a joke that we walk inside these bodies, but i remember why i stay.

When i look up at the clouds and the sky, i think about all the possibilities that still havent even been touched upon. I think about those people i havent met before, those people that might see me one day. I dont feel loved a lot of the time, but my insides have turned like stones, and only after a great warmth can they come back. Maybe you could use some solidifying in your heart, its okay you know, you just got to do what you got to do. While no one here wishes to see you go, i think they care for you enough to let you make those decisions by yourself, after all it is your life, i just think you have to see what is best.

for me when it gets bad, i know that death would only be a dead end(no pun intended), my insides start to brew like massive storms crashing like tidal waves on against the shore... BUt i let it take the bad... i let it pass through me... and as i watch the clouds go by, i see my sadness return to all of the non defined all that is existence, and it flows... flows... flows on by.



It always makes me cry, but when i see that sun coming through after the clouds pass, i see so much beauty that it changes me, and I live through all to find that time when i will see it all there for the rest of my life. I know that might not happen the way i want it to, but i know that trying is better than nothing at all.



look at the sky tomorrow, and just stare at it for a long time, let go, just relax and float with the clouds  :sun:


--------------------
What?


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OfflineEarth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: I am one less step to killing myself [Re: Cracka_X]
    #2165470 - 12/07/03 12:33 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Cracka_X said:
why don't you stop abusing and preoccupy yourself with something you like besides drugs.

a sport or hobby




Those is the kind of posts I am talking about. You might be trying to help but you don't seem to understand the long time I have done that without it working. And obviously if I wasn't depressed I would have more hobbies. It just seems like nobody understands what it is like unless they actually have severe depression.

Also I know people do care about me, I just mean I often feel lonely regardless and I don't have many friends in the city.

Thanks for all the help.


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OfflineEarth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: I am one less step to killing myself [Re: Cracka_X]
    #2165471 - 12/07/03 12:35 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Cracka_X said:
why don't you stop abusing and preoccupy yourself with something you like besides drugs.

a sport or hobby




I have felt like this before I even did any drugs or alchohol, I don't think you realise the severity that depression can get. And the only thing I do now is drink, and snort ritalin sometimes.


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InvisibleFungushungry
Addict

Registered: 07/17/02
Posts: 2,014
Loc: Whispering Winds
Re: I am one less step to killing myself [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #2165882 - 12/07/03 06:39 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

". It just seems like nobody understands what it is like unless they actually have severe depression."


Yo E_D.. have you read any of my posts? yes i have severe depression... i had not long ago a post in the pub about something with a gun and my brains scatter against the wall  :smirk: It comes and goes with me.. I have days i dont get out of bed.. Just remember one thing bro your not alone ..


--------------------
"Early man walked away
As modernman took control
There mind's weren't all the same
And to conquer was their goal
So he built his great empire
And he slaughtered his own kind
He died a confused man
And killed himself in his own mind"


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OfflineEarth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: I am one less step to killing myself [Re: Fungushungry]
    #2165998 - 12/07/03 08:55 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Ya man, thanks. I have said many times, I wish I lived with a lot of these Shroomerite people. I am going to WEMF this time, and if I like it enough, I might move up to Toronto.


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InvisibleFungushungry
Addict

Registered: 07/17/02
Posts: 2,014
Loc: Whispering Winds
Re: I am one less step to killing myself [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #2168213 - 12/08/03 05:45 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Well man my pm box is always open and my aim is Fungushungry if shit gets bad bro.. ive been goin to quite a few shroomery gatherings .. ever single one was great... makes ya look at a webpage differently then just a bb...


--------------------
"Early man walked away
As modernman took control
There mind's weren't all the same
And to conquer was their goal
So he built his great empire
And he slaughtered his own kind
He died a confused man
And killed himself in his own mind"


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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