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Suspector
A disheveled pattern



Registered: 05/04/15
Posts: 502
Loc: Long Island NY
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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are lovey relationships a waste of time for you?
#21638841 - 05/05/15 10:02 AM (9 years, 15 days ago) |
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Ultimately, I have begun to realize for many, not all, it isn't something as a simple as, "you just haven't found the right 'one', that is why your previous relationships haven't worked out."
It is more along the lines of, "because of how you evolved, genetically, and socially, you are simply not a relationship person, and probably shouldn't enter a relationship ever again because it will not last, atleast not without some form of fear, pain, aggression.
Some of my friends who believe they just were with a bad person, or the timing was off. that is usually a big indicator for me when I hear someone say the 'timing is off' For some situations it is, like going away to college, or for a job, but for the rest, it is an excuse for, 'i like someone else, but i will probably never be satisfied regardless of who that someone else is, because there will probably be a someone else after him/her'
i guess that is part of the Evolution of humans. we aren't naturally meant to be with one person. That is something we condition ourselves into, and some of us can deal with this conditioning better than others
-------------------- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Edited by Suspector (05/06/15 09:01 AM)
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: Suspector]
#21639664 - 05/05/15 02:28 PM (9 years, 15 days ago) |
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Meh, I think real love takes work and compromise on the parts of both parties.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Mquire
Stranger
Registered: 03/23/15
Posts: 82
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: TheGreenArrow]
#21640617 - 05/05/15 06:00 PM (9 years, 15 days ago) |
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I feel you OP, I'm in my first "real" relationship and it's literally like heaven and hell wrapped up into one.
Nothin like the feeling of laying with your woman after sex, or the sparkle in her eyes on the beach.
At the same time there's nothing like the gut-wrenching thought of her cheating on you or whatever, or the all guys waiting in the woodwork like fucking wolves waiting for me to fuck up.
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Suspector
A disheveled pattern



Registered: 05/04/15
Posts: 502
Loc: Long Island NY
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: Mquire]
#21643391 - 05/06/15 09:01 AM (9 years, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
TheGreenArrow said: Meh, I think real love takes work and compromise on the parts of both parties.
I do agree with this. Maybe i spoke prematurely. I do believe i can be in a healthy sustainable long term relationship where the ups, far outweigh the lows. I believe it is alao a matter of experience in my case. I look back and i realize where I went wrong, and what i will need to do if i want a future relationship to last. Which is, cut temptation off at the stem before it sprouts into a venus flytrap that bites my soul off, and of course, be a provider, always, not a taker. Both sides should be providers.
Quote:
Mquire said: I feel you OP, I'm in my first "real" relationship and it's literally like heaven and hell wrapped up into one.
Nothin like the feeling of laying with your woman after sex, or the sparkle in her eyes on the beach.
At the same time there's nothing like the gut-wrenching thought of her cheating on you or whatever, or the all guys waiting in the woodwork like fucking wolves waiting for me to fuck up.
I used to have that gut wrenching feeling you speak of. Specifically for a guy who liked my gf at the time. My ex was extremely loyal and told me about the guy who liked her. Long story short, i cheated, she found out, shebroke up with me, 4 months later that guy and her start going out. Until another woman walks into my life, I will be crushing/stressing my mistake from time to time, regarding letting go of the most beauitful person i know, trustful, kind, caring, she was the real deal and i fucked it up because at the time my shit wasnt together, and i was doing drugs. That is partially the reason for my infedelity, I wasnt the guy I was apon entering the relationship. I am sober now, been this way for a long time. I seem to have my shit more or less together at 22... fucked up for a little but coming back strong id say. I guess we'll see what happens in the coming months. Im certainly not rushing into anything, if ima be with someone ima do it right this time. Slow an steady
-------------------- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: Suspector]
#21645969 - 05/06/15 08:24 PM (9 years, 14 days ago) |
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I want to be with one person and that's it. No messed up relationship. No wrong doings. Just a soulmate really.. they exist I think.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: JustForToday]
#21646016 - 05/06/15 08:31 PM (9 years, 14 days ago) |
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They do, but they take determination and patience.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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nuds



Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 578
Loc: Australia, NSW
Last seen: 9 months, 16 days
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: JustForToday]
#21647865 - 05/07/15 06:49 AM (9 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
JustForToday said: I want to be with one person and that's it. No messed up relationship. No wrong doings. Just a soulmate really.. they exist I think.
Ive seen some of your posts... I don't think you could ever love someone as much as you love yourself, which will more than likely be a huge inhibitor to you ever finding a soulmate.
@OP, recently broke up with a girl that would've sacrificed the world for me. I don't know why I did it, but it felt right. I think you nearly have it figured out
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: nuds]
#21647989 - 05/07/15 07:31 AM (9 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
nuds said:
Quote:
JustForToday said: I want to be with one person and that's it. No messed up relationship. No wrong doings. Just a soulmate really.. they exist I think.
Ive seen some of your posts... I don't think you could ever love someone as much as you love yourself, which will more than likely be a huge inhibitor to you ever finding a soulmate.
@OP, recently broke up with a girl that would've sacrificed the world for me. I don't know why I did it, but it felt right. I think you nearly have it figured out
Perhaps. I think my last relationship would have went alright if she wasn't bat shit insane.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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nuds



Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 578
Loc: Australia, NSW
Last seen: 9 months, 16 days
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: JustForToday]
#21649624 - 05/07/15 03:35 PM (9 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
JustForToday said:
Quote:
nuds said:
Quote:
JustForToday said: I want to be with one person and that's it. No messed up relationship. No wrong doings. Just a soulmate really.. they exist I think.
Ive seen some of your posts... I don't think you could ever love someone as much as you love yourself, which will more than likely be a huge inhibitor to you ever finding a soulmate.
@OP, recently broke up with a girl that would've sacrificed the world for me. I don't know why I did it, but it felt right. I think you nearly have it figured out
Perhaps. I think my last relationship would have went alright if she wasn't bat shit insane.
Hahaha that's all women to one degree or another
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happydegenerate
well whatever nevermind

Registered: 01/23/15
Posts: 245
Loc: the eternal friendzone
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: nuds]
#21649751 - 05/07/15 04:22 PM (9 years, 13 days ago) |
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I know firsthand how it feels like to be in a relationship with the 'wrong' person. I was this person's infatuation, because I always felt like she didnt know me or understand me. On top of that, I wanted to believe that one day I would just wake up and 'love' her back, but of course that never happened. It was basically doomed from the start. I was never even sexually attracted to this girl.
Almost two years ago that I left her, but I feel like a fundamentally changed person. Im much more cold, less empathetic to others, less willing to be of help to others or to even hear others out about their problems. I now have very negative view on love and relationships. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to offer anyone in terms of love or intimacy or even comfort. But can anyone blame me? That relationship was a mental drain, and all of that came as a consequence. It came at the wrong time with the wrong person and I dont ever want to go through it with anyone else ever again.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: nuds]
#21650502 - 05/07/15 07:52 PM (9 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
nuds said:
Quote:
JustForToday said:
Quote:
nuds said:
Quote:
JustForToday said: I want to be with one person and that's it. No messed up relationship. No wrong doings. Just a soulmate really.. they exist I think.
Ive seen some of your posts... I don't think you could ever love someone as much as you love yourself, which will more than likely be a huge inhibitor to you ever finding a soulmate.
@OP, recently broke up with a girl that would've sacrificed the world for me. I don't know why I did it, but it felt right. I think you nearly have it figured out
Perhaps. I think my last relationship would have went alright if she wasn't bat shit insane.
Hahaha that's all women to one degree or another 
I hope not. If every woman is like her, i'm doomed to be alone forever.
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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Ezuma
Gontish Wizard



Registered: 12/02/13
Posts: 8,423
Loc: Roke
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: are lovey relationships a waste of time for you? [Re: Suspector] 1
#21650618 - 05/07/15 08:22 PM (9 years, 13 days ago) |
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Nope not so far
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