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TheGrandVizier
Wanderer



Registered: 07/02/13
Posts: 10
Loc: California
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
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Letting Go of Ego
#21639132 - 05/05/15 11:19 AM (9 years, 15 days ago) |
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So in the past week, I've tried both shrooms and DMT for the first time, mescaline for a third time, molly for a third time and LSD for a third time. Needless to say, I started this week with a new outlook on life, letting go of my fears and just accepting my place in the world. The only issue I have looking back on my experiences this week is my ego.
About a year ago I had a bad trip from LSD that, looking back on it now, was me fighting with my ego (I was in a terrible mindset and an equally terrible setting). I decided it was time to try LSD again at a festival with my girlfriend and best friends. I also decided to take some molly because I was a little bit anxious from my last acid trip.
My day was beautiful after my anxiety slowly faded away. It was more perfect then I could have imagined up until the molly started to wear off. I fell back into the same headspace I was in on my last trip; seeing the size of my ego and being too scared to let go of it. My trip went from bliss to confusion and eventually depression.
I have these ego-maniacal thoughts that are almost impossible to let go of. It feels like I take the weight of the world on my shoulders and I'm to blame for everything. My ego keeps me shackled to others and not doing what I feel is right for me. Me not being able to let go of my life is keeping everyone in this time-trap we call existence. Things with no rational explanation but nonetheless mind-shattering for me.
I wouldn't have known what to do if my girlfriend wasn't there for me. At least I can look back and learn something from it. I realized I have to love myself before I can do anything for this world. I have to learn to let go during a trip (and life) and just enjoy being.
Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe it's a lesson I'm looking at the wrong way and still can learn from. Thanks for listening to the rant, it helps to just write this down.
Happy trips friends
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"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell." -Aldous Huxley "I'm sorry I can't speak very coherently." -Syd Barrett "The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." -Hunter S. Thompson
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r_metal_666
KKK



Registered: 02/02/15
Posts: 204
Loc: Ukraine
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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You're not crazy
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mcspargeslarg
Human


Registered: 12/18/10
Posts: 49
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Quote:
I have these ego-maniacal thoughts that are almost impossible to let go of. It feels like I take the weight of the world on my shoulders and I'm to blame for everything. My ego keeps me shackled to others and not doing what I feel is right for me. Me not being able to let go of my life is keeping everyone in this time-trap we call existence.
When I was experiencing similar thoughts I used to call it the "Truman Show" effect. Sometimes it seemed like my mind made up reality to entertain myself and that life was pointless. I felt urged to give up the illusion and let nothingness set in.
These drugs are from my understanding dissociatives which strip you from your identity. This is just my off the cuff theory but I feel like we take these drugs and experience this so that we can gain a new perspective and rebuild our identities.
Why not use this opportunity to reexamine your life and find what is really important to you. What brings you happiness and gives your life purpose?
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Mahatma Gandhi
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The Time is Now
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wulyf
Dreamer


Registered: 04/27/15
Posts: 25
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Taking other drugs with LSD definitely wasn't a good idea. Soon as the comedown hits, it's all downhill from there. I remember doing loads of coke on acid, never again. You should only ever really have weed with acid, otherwise you're in for a bad time. You're not crazy though dude, it happens to a lot of people. Next time, just make sure you stick to one substance and the ride will be much easier. Even if you was nervous, as soon as the acid would have kicked in, most of the time the nervous feeling goes away, the MD definitely played a bad factor in it.
-------------------- Fuck the world, alien love.
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