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Registered: 09/11/02
Posts: 208
Loc: new zealand
some poems, criticism welcome
    #2163672 - 12/06/03 09:19 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)


where am i
my eye looks inside my lid
see chemicals reacting
disordered chaotic

judgement of this reality
historicallacy different
decisions made for majority
irrational statistic

victumless criminal act
no way make better thoughts
pass law limit this experience
because the father told you so

convince all the children
pretend, pressure, punish, lie
make sure everything is steady
keep you working till you die

build forrage build
structure, one way or another
in a system function
to an end not to bother

rich men money given
power suck cock motherfucker
smart family manufacture
for better? dishonor!



look at you child
with your hat
and your clothes
attempt at a style
put a ring in your nose

go home and cry
turn on your TV
have a puke in the bush
or have something to eat

what is your life?
an on going cycle?
use once then move on
for another to follow

where are you from?
how are you created?
what shit have you learnt?
which groups influencial?

interaction with humans
of differing statures
compare with yourself
reliable sources?

prior knowledge
appeal to oneself
whoever unknown
discourages itself



dirty fingers hands press buttons
sounds of plastic pressure escaping
dirty fucking carpet table
dirty human skin organism

a slave to repetition
I'm a slave to my desires

you do this then you do that
yes no decisions actions simple
things seem good and others bad
conditioned? instinctive? brain? chemical?

a slave to all addictions
I'm a slave to my desires

power will sanity control
morals thoughts hormones dissolve
confusion at first, awareness of place
repeated again observed with disdain

a slave to human emotion
I'm a slave to my desires

addiction to everything, living alone
trying to keep chaos contained
stop the influence of communication
thinking in language, going insane

a slave to television
I'm a slave to my desires

cut off hands, bite off tounge,
cut out eyes, ear drums and nose
think of nothing, zero function
useless, kill me, decompose


These are some of my 'better' poems, I'll post some of my crappier ones at a later date. I know they seem somewhat random and disconnected; this is because they were written about my personal life.

If you walked up to someone randomly in the street and said "I've got the fuckin green on my casings!" most people wouldn't understand ,though you would, and I feel my poems are a bit like that.

I'm going to try writing more open poems, though I'm a bit egocentric. . . I blame capitalism and over population.

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OfflineKenny Bus
The enlightend

Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 321
Loc: ontario
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: some poems, criticism welcome [Re: Zildjian]
    #2164607 - 12/06/03 05:50 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

deep, someparts r hard to follow, but im stoned :laugh:
good poems but depressing poems


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