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Registered: 11/21/01
Posts: 150
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so heres my dillema...its long, but please have a go!
    #2162861 - 12/05/03 10:54 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Well I guess Ill start with the history.

So, there's this girl in my class at the university, we've talked a few times, exchanged some looks and smiles from acoss the room, she's commented on my pimp style a couple of times (said i look nice).  So, I totally get the vibe that she's diggin me. This girl, shes all types of cute, and nice and smart and all that, and  i mean, i havent felt this pulled towards someone since the first time i fell in love with the girl i lost my virginity with. (from 17 til i turned 21). I'm now 23, (this girl is 21), and in the past two years i've just been single, except for one two month thing, and a couple one nighters that i regret.

So on to the problem then...I kinda feel like shes too good for me.  She's prolly thinkin the same thing about me (cause i give off that kind of a commanding presence) but im really a teddy bear.  A few years back when my girl left, my dad died, and i got the boot from JMU, I went through a terrible depression, at which point my social anxiety set in. I was on meds for some time, but dumped them in lieu of cannibis, which works MUCH better for me, sans the zombification.  Im feeling much better these days, very balanced.  I used to party alot, and was quite popular, but over the past year or so I've decided the club/bar life isn't for me.  Not so much due to anxiety, I've just grown tired of it all.  Well unfortunatly, that seems to be all people do around here, so basically, now im friendless, and don't really know many people (especially people who aren't prejudice against cannibis connesuers) so i dont really have a social life outside the occasional smoke ring with a few associates, and trips to Krav Maga with one of my buddies.  I have lots of other shit in my life, martial arts, work, spirituality, two dogs, mushrooms :smirk: blah blah, but I feel like if we went out, I'd bore the poor girl to death.  what would we do on dates, sit and stare at each other? I don't really know anything else...

So i guess my point is wtf should i do?  I am really feeling this girl, but im kind of scared to bring her into my world, cause it gets strange in here.  sometimes i question whether or not I can even handle it? I'd hate to miss out on what could potentially be something fantastic, but the last thing i need in my life right now (aside from being arrested for cultivation) is cold ass rejection?  help anybody?     

================================================So what's your peace of mind huh? A swiss watch? leasin' a Lex on credit? all the pussy and liquor a nigga can get..put together this puzzle, but my pieces won't fit.. {Ras kass}

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is waiting forthe peak

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 2,876
Re: so heres my dillema...its long, but please have a go! [Re: FatNug]
    #2162954 - 12/05/03 11:54 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Go to her. Seriously, don't fuck around and don't worry about what you'll do together in the future. If you're both into eachother, the doing things part won't matter so much, just that you're experiencing them together. You don't want to look back and think "wow, this girl was perfect and I bafooned my way out it". That hurts the most. Let her decide if she wants into your world by opening the door for her. Don't make her look for a window to crawl through.

I knew a girl much like the one you are speaking of, very similar situation. I, however, botched it up big time by being too shy and worrying about what the future might hold. I still think about the girl and the fact that I let her slip away......*sigh*, it doesn't feel good. Had I just let her flat out reject me, I could've thrown the experience in with the others and moved on.

Plenty of fish in the sea however. Best of luck.

"this lebowski he called himself 'the dude'. now, 'dude', that's a name no one would self-apply where i come from but there was a lot about the dude that didn't make sense to me...."--the Stranger

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Stop Bush's war
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: so heres my dillema...its long, but please have a go! [Re: FatNug]
    #2164697 - 12/06/03 06:35 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Ya you don't know if you have a lot in common until you get to know her. And if you don't well maybe it wasn't the right relationship anyway. And if you do - props to you.

Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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ProfessionalPsycho - JTOKREW
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Registered: 03/15/03
Posts: 17,805
Loc: Toronto, eh?
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
Re: so heres my dillema...its long, but please have a go! [Re: FatNug]
    #2169210 - 12/08/03 05:08 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Go for it! If you don't, you'll never know right? It's better to know, and possibly get rejected if that's what happens, then to sit and wonder your whole life what could have been..

Ask her out for a drink, to a movie, i wouldn't say out to dinner yet. Cuz dinner is quite long and if she doesn't end up being your type, you can always get out of it. A drink is good tho or something along those lines.

You dont have to worry about not having anything to talk about, cuz it will all come naturally anyway. If you try to plan out what you will do and what you will say, if it doesn't go as you had planned it, you will be at a loss.

Good luck with her. I hope it works out. And if it doesn't, just like TheDude said: There's plenty of other fish in the sea. But at least if you find out, you will know.

I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.

To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
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