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OfflineThe Other Guy
I stare at fields
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Registered: 09/16/12
Posts: 210
Loc: Devon, UK Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Trip number 4 - The long and difficult road to paradise
    #21576625 - 04/21/15 03:08 PM (9 years, 29 days ago)



Date: 18/04/15

So here goes, I'd been waiting for the right time to trip again, due to not really knowing anyone who also trips it's very much a solo thing for me at the moment and the home environment is a no-no location, plus who can resist being outside in nature.

0715 - Big bowl of porridge oats with fruit, nut & seed topper and some chia seeds. Pint of orange and grapefruit juice. 200mg of L-Thianine for anti-anxiety & 100mg of chelated magnesium for muscle relaxant. I'd also been taking these supplements daily on weekdays.

0730 - Set off on my walk through a gorgeous woodland trail towards the moor. I'd already decided where to ingest as I had also decided what part of the moor I wanted to head to to rest down and trip.

0800 - 0.65g of dried Psilocybe semilanceata (liberty caps) chewed and swallowed, washed down with some water as my heart rate increased due to the thought of what was to come. As I was picking them out the little pot I'd put them in and eating them another walker past by and we exchanged smiles and 'good morning's. I had been so mesmerised by eating the shrooms I hadn't even notice him creep up on me, don't think he noticed what I was eating.

I put my bag back on my back and walked on through the woods climbing up towards the bridge across the river to the open moorland. I had the typical things making me jump out of the corner of my eye, even a leaf blowing across the ground towards me made me jump a little, so strange but I put this down to the fight or flight response my body must have been having to what I'd put in it. I kept calm and stayed positive, telling myself to relax, open my mind and enjoy it. A few mushroomy burps told me my stomach was hard at work on the magical matter.

I exited the woods and gained height on open moorland, wind started blowing hard. As I continued up on the trail I saw lots of walkers crossing ahead, I put my sunglasses on as cloud cover slowly cleared

My mind wandered and I continued to reassure myself, as I negotiated some rough ground in front of me I looked up at the tor which was my destination and the ground warped in front of me. Perspective was briefly altered. As I neared the tor I heard some internal dialogue, one side (mind) was saying 'relax, take it in, this is what you wanted' and the other side (body) was saying 'it's OK for you, I've got to control this thing', apparently meaning motor function!

0930 - Sun pokes through clouds, big smile, feels like heaven

I kept looking back and saw two people walking along the trail I'd just followed heading towards my location, so I felt the need to find somewhere out of the way to stop and calm myself as the effects were getting stronger. Before I ducked down out of the wind I looked up to the sky and saw completely still clouds next to the moving ones, as though the still clouds were painted on to the canvas of the blue sky, my exact thought process as I frowned at the sky was 'why is it doing that?.. ah, it's because I'm tripping!'. I studied the clouds further and saw that there were swirling vortices on the edges of them, things were getting weird at this point.

I climbed down on to a sheltered lower edge of the tor to get down out of the strong wind but also in shadow. I got my bag off my shoulder, found a nice comfortable spot, sat down and slowly cooled down after the fairly long walk out there. The temperature dropped further and I put an extra layer on, then a hat, then a Buff. It got colder still and I began shivering. It was cold but I was wrapped up in plenty of warm layers, I put this partly down to the cold and partly down to the shivering effect I had felt before on shrooms and something that I'd actually forgotten about.

Things then really took off visually - Waves in the landscape. Colour changes. Apparent embossed textures and colours lifting out of the landscape. I'd turn away then look back and the landscape has a completely different colour feel and texture. Before I had started getting cold and shivery I had a smile and felt positive and was quite mesmerised by the effects. As I got colder, negative thoughts started to become more apparent and the trip took on a darker more oppressive feeling.

In particular I became aware of a moving object in the far distance which I couldn't get my head around or work out what it was, it was just an indistinct shape that was following a track, then into a field, along a wall, across that wall, then it turned towards me for a bit then turned 90 degrees into some woodland. I really couldn't work out what it was at first, I kept looking back to the position it was at when I first saw it to see if it reappeared there, I even turned my head away in the other direction, then turned back and was able to see it was still moving. When it turned in my direction it felt threatening, the thought 'witch' entered my mind, as if something was heading for me. Then when it turned 90 degrees it appeared to be a horse (moving far too fast and erratically to be true), I could picture it as a horse but its legs weren't moving, it was just floating along. It was at this point I became really surprised at the level of effects considering what I thought was a fairly low dose.

I didn't have a watch on as I remember becoming fairly obsessed with checking it on my first trip, and my phone was in a zipped up trouser pocket to discourage me checking it all the time. I did check it occasionally and once looked at my own reflection in the unlocked screen, I looked very old with wrinkly skin and baggy eyes, it was odd to see but didn't really scare or shock me. I looked at my hands and the skin was wrinkly too. Embossed textures or colours appeared to briefly lift or separate from my skin in some way, very hard to describe.

The clouds were becoming more broken now so more sunlight was coming through, I occasionally got up to step out from behind the rocks into the sunlight and feel the heat from the sun, but this did expose me to more wind, although I was below the peak so wasn't fully exposed. I spotted a white transit minibus speeding along a dirt track in the distance, this was completely impossible as the tracks out there are only suitable for military vehicles, and this thing was moving like it was on a motorway. I suspect these visions were based on something real, i.e. there may have been a minibus parked out there on one of the more accessible tracks that I'd spotted, but my mind had taken this image and used it in this crazy vision.

Although I dont think there was any real risk of it, I got thoughts in my head that if I stayed still I'd run the risk of getting hypothermia so I stood up, got my pack on and got back up on to the main route back the way I'd come. The wind blowing incredibly strong and felt oppressive. I looked up to see the vortices in the clouds again, and the clouds themselves look like they'd been painted on to the sky in an artistic fashion, they were all leaning in an exaggerated way because of the wind.

I seemed to be in a trance walking along but things kept grabbing my attention. Sheep were walking in fast forward, the wind sounded like it was being blown through tubing, very strange. A few random sudden sounds, indescribable. Various birds singing. A bird flew by me backwards! That bloody transit minibus parked in the middle of the moorland!

I was thinking / hearing an inner voice in a variety of British and foreign accents - Scottish, Yorkshire, Manchester, French - Reassuring voices, 'it's all OK, you'll be OK, it's fine'

Then suddenly a major feeling of losing touch with reality, as if I was looking through my eyes seeing my actions in delay even though my body knew what it was doing and was able to negotiate the path and rocks without tripping. It was almost like tunnel vision, like part of my brain had taken a back seat. Maybe I was not breathing properly or breathing too fast? Maybe some sort of anxiety related issue? Visual frame rate started to drop so I was desparate to find a spot to sit down again before I passed out or left my body for good. I found somewhere to rest and managed to calm myself down a bit. I tried to get up after a short rest, and immediately felt wobbly and disorientated - An inner voice said 'sit yourself down', so I obeyed.

It was somewhere around 1100-1200 at this point and I realised I must be at the peak of the experience.

I felt like I needed to speak to someone, feelings of guilt came over me, what if I get stuck like this? What if it goes on for hours and I have to work my way back home and try to act normal? Thoughts of checking myself into a hospital!

I took my map out and was able to easily tell where I was, even making myself point to the position on the map and say out loud 'this is where I am', maybe more to see what my own voice sounded like. I ate a chunk of dark chocolate from my bag which tasted odd, and managed to find the coordination to get up and get walking again, telling myself to keep breathing deeply as this could have been contribution to previous wipe out. The separation feeling came back again in waves and I tried and concentrate on the path, taking very deep breaths to keep it together. The panic feeling subsided but visual distortions remained, I observed a bunch of 3 silver/pearl balloons on a string float away in front of me, it was highly improbable they were balloons considering where I was but I've no idea what they actually could have been.

As I dropped down into a valley away from the wind I found my garden of eden and my smile returned. I sat by a flowing crystal clear river, the sun beaming down on me through the trees, alien and green man faces in trunks of trees appeared (the first time I'd seen any faces during this trip). I was relaxed with slow breathing even though I could feel my heart beating. I closed my eyes for a period of time to relax and listen to the river and birds. No CEV's were present. I attempted to rise a few times but the slow / delayed feeling / vision were present every time I tried to do anything so I just lay there.

1300 - Eventually I got my head clear enough to phone my wife and see how her day was going, I had a little chat and enjoyed the sound of her voice. I ate some grapes, blueberries, strawberries and an apple. They tasted lovely.

1330 - My head clears quite quickly and I feel I'm returning to baseline. I get up, stretch, look back over the landscape and realise what a journey I've just been through. Feeling much more myself now with no delayed or weird headspace I take a slow walk back through the woodland taking time to appreciate my surroundings with a big smile on my face.

I got home with tired legs and sat in the garden with a bowl of fruit and glass of cold beer, reflecting on what just happened.

Summary and after thoughts:

I feel this time set was fine but setting wasn't ideal. Due to having to negotiate the paths and rocks it's as if I couldn't fully let myself go, part of my brain had to remain active to do the physical stuff and this seemed to cause a conflict of some sort.

Unlike my first trip, there was no real spiritual or deity feeling or theme this time. There were no real inner thoughts, more of a visual and headspace whirlwind. The Confused headspace wasn't comfortable.

I can fully imagine how a trip sitter could be beneficial now, as is the importance of a suitable setting.

I was overwhelmed by the strength of the experience, especially considering what I thought was a fairly low dose. I feel it was irresponsible of me to be out there alone with that strong of an experience so it's been a good learning experience in that respect.

It would have been nice to have somewhere there to talk to a reassure me during the uncomfortable parts, but in a way I'm proud I was able to battle through it myself and am grateful for the experience, despite how difficult it was for most of it, and that I could find no real deep lesson or lasting meaning to it.

Even though it was very different to that first trip, it's good to have had the experience so when I do trip again I'll be that little bit more prepared for the results.

I felt a bit low the next day but have perked up since after taking 500mg L-Tryptophan before bed.

Thanks for reading :thumbup:

Edited by The Other Guy (04/22/15 11:15 AM)

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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
Re: Trip number 4 - The long and difficult road to paradise [Re: The Other Guy]
    #21577869 - 04/21/15 07:32 PM (9 years, 29 days ago)

Something about tripping in those kinds of places that make me have similar trips..

It's weird, but when u were describing the moving object in the distance I almost immediately thought "witch", then I kept reading and turns out we had the same thought.. Huh :strokebeard:

Anyway, thanks a lot for writing it man, I really enjoyed it. And good luck on ur future trips. :hippie:


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OfflineThe Other Guy
I stare at fields
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/16/12
Posts: 210
Loc: Devon, UK Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: Trip number 4 - The long and difficult road to paradise [Re: zZZz]
    #21582664 - 04/23/15 12:52 AM (9 years, 28 days ago)

Thanks for the feedback. The losing touch with reality episodes were unexpected and an incredibly strange experience, so I'll really be thinking about setting next time I trip around this dose.

I've been thinking about micro dosing too, so next time I'm out for a walk I might give that a go.

I'm still amazed at the strength of the experience considering I ate only 650mg. Either I'm very sensitive to them or the ones I picked have record amounts of psilocybin in them.

Happy tripping :thumbup:

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