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Offlineetard
etheonogenesis

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 449
Loc: Wisconsin
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Where can I turn to?
    #2156652 - 12/03/03 10:41 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Alright, this is going to be a rather lengthy post, because I'm in a severely bad situation. I'm still living at home, my mom's a single parent. This past August we moved out do to a bad relationship. Everything was fine at first; however, a couple of months later, my aunt and her three kids, plus a family friend moved in. The agreement was they would pay rent, and my aunt has. Only one of the three children can work, and only 20 hours a week, because she's only 16. She pitches in what she can. The friend of the family was only working 20 hours a week and contributing next to nothing. I commute 45 miles to school everyday, I have no car, and there's one family car which I cannot drive because it's not even ours. One day, I had four passengers in the car. Because of Wisconsin laws, I can only have 1 other non family member in the car, even though I'm 18. I was driving because the driver, the family friend, was nervous about driving and didn't know her way, and we were running about 20 minutes late. So I was driving a car I wasn't used to and got pulled over for 16 over. However, we pulled in behind this farm before he pulled us over at her request, so she could take the ticket for me. So, it was pulled off fine. She was afraid to send the letter of no contest in, so she delayed and didn't post mark it until the day of the court appearance. They called and said they had a warrant for her arrest; so she freaked out and said I was driving. Today I was ticketed for three things, too many people in the vehicle, 16 over, and an ordinance violation for obstruction. Mind you, she had the option of taking either the speeding ticket (which I said I would pay for), or an obstruction ticket; I'm not sure why anyone would choose the latter, but she did. Anyway, I have court in January and about 614 in fines. I'm going to lose my license for sure. However, this isn't even the worst. Upon taken all of these people in, we knew it would be tight; however, things are out of hand. One child is special needs, and has lots of problems mentally, socially, physically, and most of all psychologically. I'm a full time student working a part time job, my aunt is working a part time job, and my mom is working what's supposed to be a full time job, but she's not getting much for hours. None of us make over $7.00/hr. We're now $3000 back in rent because of trying to support everyone, waiting for an eviction notice anyday. We've applied for public housing and been rejected because my mom apparantly is making too much (....I still don't understand). We've consulted with family members about borrowing money, and none have been able to help. I've gone to friends, everyone I can think of. We have little belongings as it is, so it's not like we have much to sell. What can possibly be done to aid this situation? Is there anywhere to go for financial assisstance? Any public or private organizations who deal with something like this? I've never been so depressed in my life, and dealing with someone who's bi-polar, my mom, doesn't help. Can anyone direct where to go or what to do? I'm running out of time and ideas, and I can't afford to have this happen.
Any suggestions would really be appreciated.


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.oOo. Selling your babies for my bandwidth since 1994 .oOo.


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Offlinedaft
AccomodatingDesire
Registered: 11/25/03
Posts: 152
Loc: Whitby, Ontario
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: etard]
    #2156770 - 12/03/03 11:21 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

You gotta look out for your own.

I understand your aunt is family, but you were doing great before she 'came into the picture'.

It seems to me like, you move out, and stay with another relative who is stable at the moment. Or stay with a close friend paying rent and board to their parents.

The only other resolution is to kick out your aunt, 3 kids, and friend of the family, which is the best bet. She needs to get her own place.

With your aunt and her daughter working and paying rent for their own little place it'll be less cluttered less stressed, with you out of home you're mother will have time to concentrate on work, savings, and doing her own thing. You living with a friend or other relative will be able to pay attention to school work and your future.

Don't let your situation get you down, there is ALWAYS a resolution, sometimes a bit of suffering must come first, but in the end everyone is rewarded.


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We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies--all these are private and, ex- cept through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.


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Offlineetard
etheonogenesis

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 449
Loc: Wisconsin
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: daft]
    #2156783 - 12/03/03 11:25 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

My extended family is living with me because they were in a situation where their home was frequent searched, and their money had to be handed over to the owner of the house, the father in law. They're trying to move out now, she just sent the first check out today. I just cleared out medicine cabinet of any blatantly lethal drugs, especially since she was carrying around a couple things in her purse, and she keeps talking about suicide. I don't trust her, especially when she's in a severe depression like this. Are there no organizatinos I can turn to for help? Any non-profit organizations?


--------------------
.oOo. Selling your babies for my bandwidth since 1994 .oOo.


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Offlinedaft
AccomodatingDesire
Registered: 11/25/03
Posts: 152
Loc: Whitby, Ontario
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: etard]
    #2156825 - 12/03/03 11:39 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Hmm. Let me check for you.

There you go!

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=Non-pro...;fl=0&x=wrt


--------------------
We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies--all these are private and, ex- cept through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.


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Offlinedaft
AccomodatingDesire
Registered: 11/25/03
Posts: 152
Loc: Whitby, Ontario
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: daft]
    #2156838 - 12/03/03 11:44 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

And if your mom is making too much for public housing, it ain't cause the government is trying to jip you, she is making enough to get by.

Get everyone's priorities in line.

You smoke? Anyone smoke? Stop. Say the rent increases a few dollars over the next few months, or you need that extra few dollars to pay the already existing rent or bill.

That pack of smokes is those few dollars.

Same thing with drugs, costly hobbies, sports, all that shit.

Get back to basics, insurance, your health, your home, your food, your education.

Once all of those are safely secure you can venture back outside these restraints.


--------------------
We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies--all these are private and, ex- cept through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.


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Offlineetard
etheonogenesis

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 449
Loc: Wisconsin
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: daft]
    #2156905 - 12/04/03 12:12 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, I don't smoke, everyone's quit smoking that does, I haven't bought drugs for months now, we have state provided insurance, so we're conserving, trust me.


--------------------
.oOo. Selling your babies for my bandwidth since 1994 .oOo.


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OfflineSJR
member
Registered: 09/09/03
Posts: 190
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: etard]
    #2157020 - 12/04/03 12:53 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Your local CAP office can help, only some towns have them, and those only can help so much but they can. Alot. Sounds like the friend of the fam NEEDS to go. Talk about get fucking life. As for your court maybe the seeing the judge may be a blessing, depends on the judge, if they see a situation such as yours they may be willing so assist you, you will still get fined like hell I'd say tho.


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Jihad Is a Joke


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: etard]
    #2157130 - 12/04/03 01:33 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Dude, one of the warning signs that someone may commit suicide is lots of talk about it. It's a good thing you did to remove all lethal substances from the house.Though your mum obviously had a plan and the means handy = serious, and needs professional help. Does your mum have a case manager? If she does, I'd be encouraging her to contact that person. Any public mental health service person should also have access to information about the services available that could help with your home/financial situation which would be an advantage of putting her in contact with someone. If she does not have a case manager, I would suggest ringing a local public mental health service to get some advice on what you should do regarding her situation. It can be hard to act for someone in such a situation b/c of worrying about how the suicidal person would react to your doing so etc. But the situation should be taken seriously as a life and death matter, and you would regret that you didn't if she did take her life.

Things you could do yourself are to ask her directly - is she is serious about it?, how she would do it?, when? It is very important when someone is suicidal that they feel like they are cared about by someone. So let her know you care about her and would hate to lose her. Another thing you can do is ask her to make a promise that if she would do something, to talk to you first. (if this happened call an ambulance OK?).

Good luck with your own difficulties, etard, it sounds like you are pretty distressed and are going through an especially hard time.


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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Offlineetard
etheonogenesis

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 449
Loc: Wisconsin
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: enotake2]
    #2157706 - 12/04/03 10:57 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, she was forced out (the "friend of the family"). Although I've been talking to my mom about getting an attorney to sue for due payment on rent. What's a CAP office? I've been trying to comfort my mom, but it's harder than with any general person simply because she's bi-polar, and if any of you have dealt with someone that's bi-polar you understand whawt I mean. She has a therapist that I plan on trying to get a hold of today; I know she knows the situation, but I'm not sure when she last saw her and things are progressively getting worse. Anyway, thanks for the help everyone.


--------------------
.oOo. Selling your babies for my bandwidth since 1994 .oOo.


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 22 days
Re: Where can I turn to? [Re: etard]
    #2158088 - 12/04/03 02:08 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Wow man that sounds harsh, but remember as George Clinton said "without humps there wouldn't be no gettin over"
just try to hang in there and support your familia as best you can


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