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OfflineShroomPuncher
The FunGuy
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Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 988
Loc: Mother Earth
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
'Taking a break' in a relationship...
    #21543772 - 04/13/15 07:49 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

So, me and my gf have been having a lot of problems recently. A lot of hostility and disrespect both ways. Today, she said she wanted a break. I asked what that consisted of and for how long and she couldn't answer. My reply was that if we're taking a formal amount of time to dissociate from one another, we might as well just break up. I don't want to sit at home feeling anxious over whether or not this 'break' will end up in a split. She made NO moves to try and keep me. I finally asked her if she even wanted to be with me and she said 'i don't know, that's a big decision' and when I asked her a few more times, I kept getting the same answer so I just walked out.

She's also done a lot of shit to me in the past. Jokingly discussed fucking with another guy. Lied to me and was seeing her ex. Apparently got kissed on by 2 guys at a party. I've been a big dick lately because I can't let go of these things, which is likely why we're in this state. It goes both ways but her betrayal in the past is making this a little easier, at least.

I don't even know if we're together anymore but I feel like if you can't even give me an answer as if you want to be with me, that just shows her love, or lack thereof, for me. So, she's sitting around with a bunch of other people getting stoned and having fun, and I'm here feeling anxious and used. How do you guys feel about this decision? I'm going to assume we're actually broken up so it doesn't come as a surprise if shit does actually happen.


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: ShroomPuncher]
    #21543782 - 04/13/15 07:50 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Sounds like she's cheating on you bro.  Kick that shit to the curb and find a real women.


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.

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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,708
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Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: ShroomPuncher] * 3
    #21543794 - 04/13/15 07:52 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

She wants to date someone else and doesn't have the balls to tell you so. Save the time and aggravation and move on is my advice.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

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Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 1 day, 19 hours
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21543864 - 04/13/15 08:09 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

You just got dumped by a slutty girl OP, move on.

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OfflineShroomPuncher
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Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 988
Loc: Mother Earth
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: qman]
    #21543884 - 04/13/15 08:13 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

That's exactly what I'm thinking. I feel like she's cheating on me or at least talking to somebody else... Even with all the drama and shit we've been talking, we normally pull through so this is definitely sketchy.


--------------------
Hunting Psillies?
Want a sig or avatar made? Message me. [Prints in exchange would be nice, but not required]

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OfflineShortknight
Male


Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21543886 - 04/13/15 08:14 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
She wants to date someone else and doesn't have the balls to tell you so. Save the time and aggravation and move on is my advice.




Well really, is spec, she does have the balls, thats why shes doing all this.:peace: Shes not entitled to tell anyone who she just fell in love with.:sunny:

Good on her for making a stand when things have clearly came out of tune. OP, best of luck, I hope everything comes together for you soon. Im sure it will!:yinyang:

Shorty:psychsplit:


--------------------
Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!:musicnote:

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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Shortknight] * 2
    #21543904 - 04/13/15 08:18 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Can't turn a hoe to a house wife. Move on man. The sooner it ends the sooner you can get on and actually be happy. Being cheated on isn't very happy in my book.


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FREE BURKE

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OfflineShroomPuncher
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Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Shortknight]
    #21543910 - 04/13/15 08:19 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Shortknight said:
Quote:

Shroomslip said:
She wants to date someone else and doesn't have the balls to tell you so. Save the time and aggravation and move on is my advice.




Well really, is spec, she does have the balls, thats why shes doing all this.:peace: Shes not entitled to tell anyone who she just fell in love with.:sunny:

Good on her for making a stand when things have clearly came out of tune. OP, best of luck, I hope everything comes together for you soon. Im sure it will!:yinyang:

Shorty:psychsplit:




That's certainly not 'standing up'. Standing up would be saying that she doesn't want to be together and being decisive. Dodging and evading questions that are detrimental to our relationship is cowardice.


--------------------
Hunting Psillies?
Want a sig or avatar made? Message me. [Prints in exchange would be nice, but not required]

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OfflineHuntor
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Registered: 04/13/08
Posts: 62
Loc: NSW.Australia
Last seen: 14 hours, 45 minutes
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Shortknight] * 2
    #21543917 - 04/13/15 08:20 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

I think you made the decision that is right for you, no answer from her is not a yes.
Focus on yourself and move forward, with or without her.

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InvisibleRedwood

Registered: 05/22/14
Posts: 2,077
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Mescalean] * 5
    #21543927 - 04/13/15 08:22 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

In my opinion if you have to take a "break" in a relationship, it's over already. I would move on and not go back to her if I was in your position.

A break just seems like a way to not have to say they don't want to be with you and/or keep you as a back up.

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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Mescalean]
    #21543930 - 04/13/15 08:22 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Mescalean said:
Can't turn a hoe to a house wife.



PREACH


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.

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OfflineShortknight
Male


Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: ShroomPuncher]
    #21543938 - 04/13/15 08:23 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Come on, deep down you know what it means, or sooner than later you will. Shes doing what she can. Next time you'l be able to see the same situation building from miles away and you can react quite differently to it.:peace: Better comes are a commin'

:sunny:Shorty:sunny:


--------------------
Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!:musicnote:

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OfflineJesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 9 years, 3 days
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Shortknight]
    #21543958 - 04/13/15 08:27 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

taking a break = it's over.


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.

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OfflineShortknight
Male


Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Redwood] * 1
    #21543964 - 04/13/15 08:28 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Redwood said:
In my opinion if you have to take a "break" in a relationship, it's over already. I would move on and not go back to her if I was in your position.

A break just seems like a way to not have to say they don't want to be with you and/or keep you as a back up.




A lot of times people seriously don't know. They're all mixed up, have fallen in love with someone else or someone else makes them feel a certain way they haven't felt in a long time that makes them question what the hells going on and were am I going?

It can be pretty genuine, but it is a tell tail sign that the relationship is fading away fast at that very moment.:peace:
Definitely keep movin' forward, always forward.:yinyang:

Shorty:peace:


--------------------
Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!:musicnote:

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OfflineShroomPuncher
The FunGuy
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Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 988
Loc: Mother Earth
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Huntor]
    #21543984 - 04/13/15 08:31 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Until we actually break up 'officially', i'm gonna be so lost. And then it's really going to hurt. Shitty stuff. We were together for about 15 months.


--------------------
Hunting Psillies?
Want a sig or avatar made? Message me. [Prints in exchange would be nice, but not required]

Disclaimer: I in no way engage in violent acts against mushrooms, nor do I support or advocate such behavior. :mushroom2:

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OfflineShortknight
Male


Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: ShroomPuncher]
    #21544007 - 04/13/15 08:35 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Well all I can say is follow your instinct. Why prolong inevitable pain for longer than you need to?: Say the words to her that she may have been afraid to say or unable to put together:peace:

Shorty:yinyang:


--------------------
Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!:musicnote:

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OfflineJesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 9 years, 3 days
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: ShroomPuncher]
    #21544023 - 04/13/15 08:39 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ShroomPuncher said:
Until we actually break up 'officially', i'm gonna be so lost. And then it's really going to hurt. Shitty stuff. We were together for about 15 months.




I would recommend you end it. Waiting around hoping she might shoot some hope flecked spittle your way is a waste of time, and will be counted as groveling. As a previous poster said, if you allow this weird ambiguous semi break up, you will be the back up if her new prospects don't pan out. This is standard fare.

15 months isn't too bad. My last ex was 4 years, and it ended very roughly. It never feels good. But, it gets better, I'm much happier in general now and more consistently than I was then. Of course all the cutesy couple stuff was nice, but now I have a different purpose in life. :shrug:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.

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OfflineShroomPuncher
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Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 988
Loc: Mother Earth
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Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #21544055 - 04/13/15 08:46 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Good points, guys. I appreciate all the advice. I just have to balls up and break it off nicely. Hopefully i'll have a nice little trip tomorrow too


--------------------
Hunting Psillies?
Want a sig or avatar made? Message me. [Prints in exchange would be nice, but not required]

Disclaimer: I in no way engage in violent acts against mushrooms, nor do I support or advocate such behavior. :mushroom2:

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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: ShroomPuncher]
    #21544068 - 04/13/15 08:49 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah 15 months is a good run.


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.

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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,708
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Re: 'Taking a break' in a relationship... [Re: Shortknight] * 1
    #21544069 - 04/13/15 08:49 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Shortknight said:
Quote:

Shroomslip said:
She wants to date someone else and doesn't have the balls to tell you so. Save the time and aggravation and move on is my advice.




Well really, is spec, she does have the balls, thats why shes doing all this.:peace: Shes not entitled to tell anyone who she just fell in love with.:sunny:

Good on her for making a stand when things have clearly came out of tune. OP, best of luck, I hope everything comes together for you soon. Im sure it will!:yinyang:

Shorty:psychsplit:



That's not taking a stand, that's being a coward and not telling someone it's over. It's a cop out.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

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