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OfflineAnonLMN619
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I say farewell to all psychedelics.
    #21535216 - 04/12/15 12:20 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

I don't really know why I am posting here about this. I maybe just feel like it.

But recently I decided to trip again on shrooms after several years. I stopped taking psychedelics because of HPPD and Tinnitus.
Now I won't go into detail about the trip, I'll maybe write a trip report in the future and about my other trips but not now.

I take farewell to psychedelics majority for the same reason I quit them before; they worsen my HPPD and Tinnitus and that makes them just not fun to take anymore.
But I was also very harshly and aggressively shown this trip that there is nothing left for me to learn from mushrooms or any psychedelics, there may have been a thousands of complex speculations about the universe in my trips but there has only been one simple truth that this time was forced into my consciousness without any mercy from the mushrooms:

We're born, we live and we die.

That was the sole thing I was forced to realize during this very intense and difficult trip, and it is a truth far more important than any because it is so often forgotten by most of us.
And I believe that this is what the entire psychedelic experience is all about, not to give us answers about life but to show us that life is too simple to be understood by any complex answer.
This is why it's such a mysterious, indescribable and in it's fullest; ingraspable experience to anyone.

I only believe insanity is what I will find if I continue to throw myself into the abyss, I have been taught what the mushrooms wanted to teach me, and I am happier living from a simple truth than from a thousand potential untruths.
If need be then all questions about anything can be answered sober.

And it is therefore, as I see no recreational nor spiritual value left in psychedelics that I take my farewell to them, they have shown me what it means to be alive but they are no longer a part of it.

Now fuck off shrooms; you gave me a harsh farewell and I believe it is only right for me to tell you to GTFO of my life.
I have some HPPD and Tinnitus to deal with and I only way I know how to deal with them is by being sober.

Update Edit:

A bit more explanation of what happened was that past level 1 in the beginning of the upcome I very soon realized into the trip that the shrooms will in no way help me with the kind of depression I have, rather the opposite; It was like the depression intensified itself 10-fold, it was exactly like the past years of my life had been compressed into one very moment.
The main difference was that I could no longer distract myself from my depressing thoughts; now I could do nothing; my problems, my past, the hidden darkest depths of myself were forced to the surface and literally into my face.

I eventually came to this point in the trip were I closed my eyes trying to stop the flashbacks and it just felt like nothing has changed at all since I got these memories. (Bastille - Pompeii)
I was still depressed, I still have HPPD and Tinnitus, and my life situation remains the same and maybe even have become worse on many fronts.
All I have basically been doing for the last years is searching for something that will make me happy but in the process been blinded by the thought that only a shroom trip may help me, dismissing all the small things as 'Not enough' when compared to the fun and happiness I have felt on psychedelics; but also never finding out because of the quite logical fear that it will worsen my HPPD.
Now I know that all the small things in life is WHAT MAKES happiness in the first place, psychedelics are merely a mirror showing you a reflection of what you have built in your sober life.
I remembered psychedelics as being happy and blissful because that was what they showed me when I first started taking them that long time ago when I was happy.
Now I took psychedelics again and looked into the mirror only to see darkness, pain and suffering as what was in my sober life in the present.
It was not hard to understand here that having my problems shoved in my face, together with my HPPD and Tinnitus intensified is not really what I need in my current situation.

But I suppose by merely taking psychedelics again I broke the years long status quo:
As in the middle of this hell I was forced to realize; not anything that will make me happier like I previously thought.
Nor that I have any of my problems and that I feel like shit; that I already know.
But that I have run into a dead end and that shrooms will not help me out of my situation; I have to wait this depressing and hellish trip out and then once my thought processing is up again I have to face my problems sober like any lifeform has done for billions of years; either that or perish like most other lifeforms has for billions of years.

Now I'm not so charmed by the thought of suicide, that seems way too ridiculously dark for my taste, I'm still going to die someday anyways; why not try have fun and enjoy the ride there?
I have to leave this darkness behind me and with it the shrooms and all other drugs which will only serve to my own destruction, building my new life from the small bits and pieces each and individually maybe too small to cure my depression, but together with the potentially infinite amount of pieces out there then maybe, and hopefully I can MORE than cure my depression.

But as previously said I won't ever be returning to psychedelics to look in the mirror again no matter how happy I am; I have HPPD and that itself is a, if not THE main source of this darkness in this first place.
So..
Quote:

Buck513 said:
Dont tell shrooms to fuck off. Its YOU, not the fungi.



I know it's me, but the shrooms can still fuck off.


Edited by AnonLMN619 (04/12/15 11:05 PM)


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OfflineMatt87
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: AnonLMN619]
    #21535268 - 04/12/15 12:32 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Heavy. Good for you.


--------------------

Once you understand the way broadly, you see it in all things. -Musashi


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OfflineMajickMuffin
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Matt87]
    #21535284 - 04/12/15 12:37 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Well, good for you.


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OfflineProlific Mycognome
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: AnonLMN619]
    #21535346 - 04/12/15 01:03 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

You reap what you sew. Now you have a condition you may have for only a short time or for your entire life, but your outlook on psychedelics have completely changed. Either way, mushrooms don't care if you have reached this conclusion through their use. They are just a tool. If you managed to fuck up big time with some heavy machinery on a job, and lose any future chance of getting a similar position, would you be angry at every boom lift or stump grinder you saw from then on, or would you realize that it was your incompetence in using the tool and move on with your life? This might be a poor analogy, but not really -- the point is, don't blame the tool, blame the operator.


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InvisibleMescalitoe
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: MajickMuffin]
    #21535365 - 04/12/15 01:09 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

I havent really been doing psychedelics that long, maybe like 2 years and a couple months but i completely agree with you when you say


"I only believe insanity is what I will find if I continue to throw myself into the abyss, I am happier living from a simple truth than from a thousand potential untruths.
If need be then all questions about anything can be answered sober."

Im at some fucking crossroads where im not sure wether i should continue on this psychedelic journey or just stop now. The ignorant mind is way more peaceful. I get a little sad thinking about it :sad:


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OfflineAchillita
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Mescalitoe]
    #21535372 - 04/12/15 01:13 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Mescalitoe said:
I havent really been doing psychedelics that long, maybe like 2 years and a couple months but i completely agree with you when you say


"I only believe insanity is what I will find if I continue to throw myself into the abyss, I am happier living from a simple truth than from a thousand potential untruths.
If need be then all questions about anything can be answered sober."

Im at some fucking crossroads where im not sure wether i should continue on this psychedelic journey or just stop now. The ignorant mind is way more peaceful. I get a little sad thinking about it :sad:



Ignorance is bliss, but I love to try and find answers. I have gotten kinda sad after I realized how I've been acting around my family, after a thoughtful mescaline trip. It's only bettered me though. I'd rather realize my terrible mistakes than ignore them forever. Psychedelics make me face my darkest truths, and I don't think I could ever truly give them up or ever repay them for the truths they have in sighted.


--------------------


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InvisibleMescalitoe
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Achillita]
    #21535433 - 04/12/15 01:39 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

I mean dont get me wrong i fucking love psychs ever since my first LSD trip, it showed me the brighter side of life after being clinically depressed for about 2 years. These past 2 years with psychs have been the best years ive had since i can remember. The fact of having to face my true self and the motivation it gives me to become a better me.

I cant truly pin point why i have this urge to stop but ima have to make a decision soon. I think it sort of has something to do with me not feeling like everyone else im around. I see everyone around me and i just dont feel "normal" like them. That sound like a stupid reason. Maybe i should take some Mescaline or Shrooms and think more about this haha :shrug:


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OfflineAchillita
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Mescalitoe]
    #21535445 - 04/12/15 01:45 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

In my opinion no one is normal, we're all just weird creatures trying to act normal. The only person who is normal is the person you don't know.

Maybe take a break from psychedelics? :shrug: I've been doing that un-intentionally. I can't wait until my harvest comes in though.

How often do you take psychedelics?


--------------------


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OfflineVsnares.Zappa
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Achillita]
    #21535471 - 04/12/15 01:57 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

what was the setting of your trip .


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InvisibleMescalitoe
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Achillita]
    #21535515 - 04/12/15 02:18 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Achillita said:
In my opinion no one is normal, we're all just weird creatures trying to act normal. The only person who is normal is the person you don't know.

Maybe take a break from psychedelics? :shrug: I've been doing that un-intentionally. I can't wait until my harvest comes in though.

How often do you take psychedelics?




I honestly dont think i take them that often but i could be wrong. Last year i made sure to have at least 10 cakes colonized after every months harvest but from what i remember i tripped like once a month and gave the most away to friends. This year i started extracting DMT which ive smoked like 4-5 times. And ive taken shrooms like 2 times this year.

I dont thik im abusing psychs, if thats even possible but i feel like if i continue to go deeper i will never become the person that i truky want ti be. Maybe im comparing myself to others? Idk but im just not digging the whole psychedelic thing right now, which sucks because i wouldnt be who i am today without psychedelics.

I want to take a break but i fear that my anxiety will come back as soon as i tell myself that i will not be taking psychs no more.

I might just stop. I feel like i need to collect myself a bit.


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OfflineAchillita
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Mescalitoe]
    #21535533 - 04/12/15 02:26 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Just collect yourself then, wait for the call so to speak. You're definitely not abusing them. I personally love the reset they give me. I think that taking them helps me find my true self, other than all the stuff that I pick up from society.

Just take a break and enjoy sobriety. You'll know when and if you want to begin taking them yet again.


--------------------


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InvisibleMescalitoe
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Achillita]
    #21535570 - 04/12/15 02:42 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Achillita said:
Just collect yourself then, wait for the call so to speak. You're definitely not abusing them. I personally love the reset they give me. I think that taking them helps me find my true self, other than all the stuff that I pick up from society.

Just take a break and enjoy sobriety. You'll know when and if you want to begin taking them yet again.




I will soon decide wether i stop or not. But just thinking about not resetting myself every month or so gives me a feeling like im destined to fail in everything i try to accomplish. Im glad i got in the shroomery today.
Thanks for the replies man.


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OfflineAchillita
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Mescalitoe]
    #21535616 - 04/12/15 03:03 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

No problem man, I personally love the resets that psychedelics give me. It helps me focus and put the effort into things that I will sometimes forget the importance of. It's something that keeps me happy and helps me incite change.

I'd like to hear what you decide though, PM me or something. I wish you the best of luck.


--------------------


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Offlinebolton-liberty-cap
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Achillita]
    #21536046 - 04/12/15 08:37 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

n my honest oppinion, I think u need a break from the psychedelic land, I had a similar experience last year and kept having hppd and thoughts turning negative, but then I broke out of the hought patterns and now I an take psychedelics again with their full glory.

A negative mind always results in bad experiences.

but I hope you manage to come to a reasonable conclution.


--------------------
drugs to try: LSD,, Mushrooms, Ketamine AMT, 25C-NBOMe, MDMA, MXE, DMT, Ayahuasca, Salvia, Mescaline, 2C-I, 2C-C, 2C-E, DOC, 4-ACO-DMT, MDA, 4-ACO-MiPT, AL-LAD, 1P-LSD


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OfflineMajickMuffin
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: bolton-liberty-cap]
    #21536203 - 04/12/15 09:52 AM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Who wants to be normal? Being normal is a fucking joke, everyone tried to act normal, trues to act the same as everyone else. Walk in a single file line. Who wants that with eyes that can see?

I am Insanity. And I'm happy about that, because if I wasn't, id be just the same as everyone else. Ignorance is Bliss, non ignorance is Insanity. Open your eyes and be happy that your eyes are open.

That's my opinion, hope you enjoyed it.


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Offlinesanchothestoner
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: AnonLMN619]
    #21536793 - 04/12/15 12:46 PM (5 years, 10 months ago)

i'm on the same boat as you.  psychedelics have shown all they can to me.


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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OfflineDurgaDurg
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Mescalitoe]
    #21536839 - 04/12/15 12:58 PM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Mescalitoe said:
I mean dont get me wrong i fucking love psychs ever since my first LSD trip, it showed me the brighter side of life after being clinically depressed for about 2 years. These past 2 years with psychs have been the best years ive had since i can remember. The fact of having to face my true self and the motivation it gives me to become a better me.

I cant truly pin point why i have this urge to stop but ima have to make a decision soon. I think it sort of has something to do with me not feeling like everyone else im around. I see everyone around me and i just dont feel "normal" like them. That sound like a stupid reason. Maybe i should take some Mescaline or Shrooms and think more about this haha :shrug:




Ive felt disconnected from the people and things around me before. I thought i was going to quit tripping. Took almost a year off now i love tripping more than i ever did. Don't be so quick to place blame on psychedelics. I did and im pretty sure i was wrong.


--------------------
When you see him look him in the eye, look him in the eye and he won’t dare to follow
If you need to, hook him with your right, hook him with your right till he wiggles and wallows

He sleeps atop a bag of raven’s legs, curled up rats napping by his head
Takes his eye out with a ball point pen
And makes nunchaku with his torn off legs

You wake up with a hatchet over your head
You wake up with a hatchet over your head


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InvisibleMad Season
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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #21536848 - 04/12/15 01:01 PM (5 years, 10 months ago)

I've never once debated not taking them anymore. I chose not to do them for a year because i was content with where I was. Lately I want them again. If you don't want them don't do them. If you want them then do them? Sounds silly but it's pretty much true. If you find yourself debating not wanting them you probably don't want them. When you find yourself craving a trip, you want them. Don't do them when you're debating not to do them lol


--------------------
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Improve your sterile techniques! (A comprehensive guide to agar)
Links upon links of literally EVERYTHING UP TO DATE

AMU Q&A
No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.


Edited by Mad Season (04/12/15 01:02 PM)


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InvisibleBuck513

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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: Mad Season]
    #21536991 - 04/12/15 01:43 PM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Dont tell shrooms to fuck off. Its YOU, not the fungi.
After my first trip I thought it'd be a great idea to go on a "100 trip journey" as I called it. I would plan the trip, what I wanted to experience and accomplish, trip reports, etc. After the 100 trips I would stop using psychedelics for good.
I still ponder the idea. If I ever decide to stop using psychedelics I'll probably go that route.
I think it'd be a great end to an even greater substance.


--------------------
Fail to plan and you plan to fail.

Enter the Ban Lottery


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OfflineConnoisseur

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Re: I say farewell to all psychedelics. [Re: AnonLMN619]
    #21538293 - 04/12/15 06:38 PM (5 years, 10 months ago)

Ya its funny how some of the greatest "messages" people get from psilocybin are just the simple and often overlooked facts of life.

A lot of people experience trips like the one you had and become extremely uncomfortable and decide tripping isnt for them. Happens to the best of us.


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience

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