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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
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Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: el8tch]
    #21450993 - 03/24/15 12:19 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Powdered human urine FTW


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Offlinenew2shroomzz
Envelope pusher
Male


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 889
Loc: KY, US
Last seen: 4 months, 23 days
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: el8tch]
    #21451003 - 03/24/15 12:23 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

el8tch said:
If you're going to chug water, start a couple of hours before the test. Starting right now will do nothing but make you uncomfortable. The point of dilution is to fill your bladder with as much water as possible to "lower" the amount of metabolites in your urine. It works, but it's very possible the sample will come back as "dilute" and you'll have to retake it... sometimes, they fail you right there. I suppose this could buy you some time, though, so if you had to take it again, you'd have that much more of a chance of being clean.

One good thing about being a long-time toker: Your body has had yeeeaaarrrrs of experience ridding your body of THC and it's metabolites. You will likely pass your test (no water or synthetic piss needed) right now, seriously. I'm 5'7'' and weigh 175lbs (I've gained a few...) and passed a pre-emplyment piss test after 11 days clean (what are you on? day 17-18?). My anxiety was essentially gone for this test, though, because I passed a home drug test at day 7.

Combine your long toking history with a great metabolism and practically zero body fat? I would bet some serious money that you will pass the test 100%.

It never hurts to drink water the day of the test, though. But, if I were in your body and situation, I wouldn't attempt to dilute by drinking uncomfortable amounts of water. Just get up the day of the test and casually drink water. Maybe a glass every 20 minutes or so. Seriously, though, I wouldn't attempt to dilute right now. Just keep a little extra water in your system to help... be careful not to over do it - you'll probably want to.

AND SUBSTITUTE 'WATER' FOR 'GATORADE' OR SOMETHING LIKE THIS. THE SALTS AND ELECTROLYTES WILL AID IN KEEPING THE SPECIFIC GRAVITY HIGHER IN YOUR URINE.




If this information is valid you just made me feel a hell of alot better.


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"We can't stop here, this is bat country!" — Hunter S. Thompson

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Offlineel8tch
LHLHLHLHLHLH
Male


Registered: 03/07/15
Posts: 464
Loc: Penn's Woods Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 16 days
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: new2shroomzz]
    #21451058 - 03/24/15 12:38 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

new2shroomzz said:
If this information is valid you just made me feel a hell of alot better.




"Your body has had yeeeaaarrrrs of experience ridding your body of THC and it's metabolites."

There is information both ways about how long THC and it's metabolites stays in the body of a long-term smoker. But, I've read maaaaany happy endings from a lot of worried, long-term users who stopped smoking a week or so prior to their drug tests. I know that isn't full-proof whatsoever, but it sure seemed to be reflected IME. I smoke multiple times a day and have for years.

You should run to the store and pickup a home drug test kit (if you have the money... around $10) just to gauge your current situation and possibly alleviate some stress.

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Offlineel8tch
LHLHLHLHLHLH
Male


Registered: 03/07/15
Posts: 464
Loc: Penn's Woods Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 16 days
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #21451070 - 03/24/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

VivaLaMushie said:
Powdered human urine FTW




Amen-ra! This is actually a route I plan on taking for my next drug test. The idea behind it is so simple and it takes only a minute or so to prepare.

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OfflineWhyDidiDoThis
Bay Area Mushroom Collector
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Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 3,338
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: el8tch]
    #21451084 - 03/24/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Hey good idea. Hey OP.
Go to the dollar store. Buy a Marijuana drug test or 2 for a dollar or 2. See if you pass. If you do you do!

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!


Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: WhyDidiDoThis]
    #21451101 - 03/24/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Dear friendly space aliens, drug tests are evil, save us from this crazy world.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Offlineel8tch
LHLHLHLHLHLH
Male


Registered: 03/07/15
Posts: 464
Loc: Penn's Woods Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 16 days
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: WhyDidiDoThis]
    #21451104 - 03/24/15 12:50 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

They have drug tests at the dollar store!?!?

You learn something knew everyday. :ooo: I've only bought two drug tests but daaaaamn... I was wasting ze moneyz!

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Offlineel8tch
LHLHLHLHLHLH
Male


Registered: 03/07/15
Posts: 464
Loc: Penn's Woods Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 16 days
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: el8tch]
    #21457963 - 03/25/15 10:39 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

What's your status, OP? Did you pass?

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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: el8tch]
    #21493129 - 04/02/15 04:52 PM (8 years, 10 months ago)

I smoked on Tuesday of last week. Had a test coming Friday. Drank a gallon of water Thursday night, a gallon from 6am to 11am Friday. A spot of coffee for color. Passed.

Just updating as a goes-to-show it seriously depends on your body chemistry, amount you smoke (2 bowls a day), varying other factors.

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Offlineel8tch
LHLHLHLHLHLH
Male


Registered: 03/07/15
Posts: 464
Loc: Penn's Woods Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 16 days
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: Adden]
    #21493238 - 04/02/15 05:22 PM (8 years, 10 months ago)

"Other factors" predominately being the type of test you took, I'd guess.

I'm so unlucky when it comes to this shit.... I always get scheduled to go to a place where they spin the piss up in a machine and photograph it and send the info to a lab. It usually comes back as "dilute" so they physically send the sample to the lab or I have to retake the test. Glad the dilute method worked for you, at least! :thumbup:

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Offliner00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed
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Registered: 04/20/12
Posts: 8,507
Loc: I'll be there in a minute
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: new2shroomzz]
    #21493290 - 04/02/15 05:35 PM (8 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

new2shroomzz said:
Might work - but no availability.



You could offer to take the neighbors dog for a walk catch the pee in a cup then eat a shit ton of antibiotics then give yourself a  catheter. :shrug:


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:kingcrankey: Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings :flipthebird: And all time Champion thread killer.:thatsayes:

Edited by r00tuuu123 (04/02/15 05:36 PM)

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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: Pre-employment screening tomorrow. Urinalysis. [Re: el8tch]
    #21493405 - 04/02/15 06:03 PM (8 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

el8tch said:
"Other factors" predominately being the type of test you took, I'd guess.

I'm so unlucky when it comes to this shit.... I always get scheduled to go to a place where they spin the piss up in a machine and photograph it and send the info to a lab. It usually comes back as "dilute" so they physically send the sample to the lab or I have to retake the test. Glad the dilute method worked for you, at least! :thumbup:





GC/MS. Pain clinic. 15 or less nL or whatever is a pass, so doesn't mean I was completely clean, I may have gotten a 14. That was too close, I need to watch my shit.

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