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idk_13
Stranger

Registered: 11/07/12
Posts: 49
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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I've figured reality for myself man
#21484540 - 03/31/15 06:11 PM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hey guys Im high right now and I know this is the wrong section but I'm fighting my mind right now for control. My brain I think it the illuminati is trying to stop me from writing a message. I'm trying to control myself this may be a mental illness because I feel like my anxiety is trying to stop me from saying what I want to say. It makes me stop going through with the smooth actions Im trying to do. It's like my brain is struggling to be itself. I am a loser this is me talking to you. Tryo to go back to how you used to be. Before the popularity went in the way and you slowly but surely fell from a promising kid to a creepy man who does drugs because he thinks they're cool and blacks out because it's cool. Your regarded why are you doing this to yourself you used to be YOURSELF now the stupid pills have you looking like the most distorted mess. This isn't how things were supposed to turn out and now it's too late. The best you can do is get yourself a job and get paid crappy high at the most 40grrand and that's when your way older like 29. I feel like I'm in the Ashton kitchen movies something butterfly I forgot it's such a good movie he keeps transforming to younger and older states when he reads his journeys I smoke weed and I get to do that. I'm telling my self right now YOI FUCKED UP BIG TIME PAL. That's my crazy Idk please comment help me finds what's wrong with myself
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filthyknees
no coincidence


Registered: 03/08/13
Posts: 6,283
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Re: I've figured reality for myself man [Re: idk_13]
#21484579 - 03/31/15 06:18 PM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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psychedelic experience not guess that mental disorder
we can't tell you anyways the illuminati won't let us, ask a doctor (not on the shroomery)
-------------------- But if you're in a hurry, and really got to go If you're in a hurry, might have to find out slow That it's one thing to try and another to fly You get there quicker just a step at a time It's one thing to bark, another to bite The show ain't over till you pack up at night
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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: I've figured reality for myself man [Re: idk_13]
#21484620 - 03/31/15 06:26 PM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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well first off, what drug did you take.
Apart from that, fear is a hell of a drug on it's own, it can make things that aren't there seem extra real if you really believe it to be a factor, just keep trying to remember you are high and that it will go away, are you normally like this sober? if not, then why do you think it'll be permanent now?
As hard as it is while fucked up sometimes, use rational thought to remind yourself you are sane, and will feel sane again once this drug passes.
Your rants sound to me, like your being blasted by realizations about yourself that you don't like, the negative aspects of yourself are being shown to you, and you're trying to fight it, use it to grow, don't be scared of it.
You don't sound crazy to me, you sound like I did when I had a bad trip on mushrooms, the whole trip was me realizing things I hated about myself and how long I've been that way, came out of it and been trying to change ever since, and believe I have even though I have a ways to go, even with how bad it was when I went through it, ended up being a positive experience overall for my life. You already said you're high, try to meditate and calm yourself down.
In response to some of the things you're saying to yourself, it's never to late, it's always a choice, you could always wake up tomorrow and start doing the things you need to in order to improve your life, if you keep not doing it, then saying you "fucked up" is nothing more then an excuse. You're still here, there is still time, you just have to put the time into doing it. As I said, you could most likely flip this into an awesome learning experience into what you really want to do with your life, and start doing it.
Just remember the good vibes my friend, and get back to us when it's over or if you still want someone to chat back and forth with
Edited by SirShroomsAlott (03/31/15 06:43 PM)
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filthyknees
no coincidence


Registered: 03/08/13
Posts: 6,283
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sorry my first post was harsh bro. good vibes 
nothing ever remains the same
-------------------- But if you're in a hurry, and really got to go If you're in a hurry, might have to find out slow That it's one thing to try and another to fly You get there quicker just a step at a time It's one thing to bark, another to bite The show ain't over till you pack up at night
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: I've figured reality for myself man [Re: filthyknees]
#21484906 - 03/31/15 07:34 PM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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I thought it was pretty funny actually.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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idk_13
Stranger

Registered: 11/07/12
Posts: 49
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Re: I've figured reality for myself man [Re: filthyknees]
#21484965 - 03/31/15 07:46 PM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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I just smoked some weed. It's funny how weed hits me the hardest way harder than mushrooms or acid, anyways I just wish those REALIZATIONS is why I'm the person I dont like ever wanted to be. when I'm sober I think I'm the shit and I'm cool because I pop pills. I want all the relizations to remain but unfortunately they fade out entirely when I get sober and I'm back to the dumbass Ignorant person I am. Also I just have so many regrets about how life went down. I could have been the man and ended up going to a high university while having a girl friends and all that but for some reason I always thought being bad was cool. I tried to be bad and soon enough I ruined my social financial whole life. Now I'm depressed have a shitty job this is the kind of thing that makes me not give a fuck if I continue my slew of drugs and become a heroin junkie. It's funny because there's this one homeless man in my town. Around the time I just stopped giving a fuck I drank myself to a highly emotional relization like this. I talked to him and told him everything and he was just like ok. I bought him food and gave him money. And now I see him every time everytime I dig my life deeper underwater. It's like i just see the negative progress I've made every time I see him. Thanks for the answers keep on replying please. I need to remind myself of how much of a dumbass I am when I'm sober
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moonzo
Getting Better



Registered: 06/04/14
Posts: 3,160
Loc: Kaneta
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Re: I've figured reality for myself man [Re: idk_13]
#21486437 - 04/01/15 05:35 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Most ignorant sober people cant admit they r ignorant and stipid and would die defending it. Or they dont know they r ignorant, thats true ignorance. For some reason i dont think you are as much of a douche as you think you are.
-------------------- "I don't make any sense, do not ever listen to me under any circumstance." <-- This is how I am viewed by a regular person in society "Were the aliens nice?" <-- How I hope to be treated on this forum Track record: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=20394867&page=2&vc=1#20394867 Mescapsilosyergictryptamine
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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: I've figured reality for myself man [Re: idk_13] 1
#21487943 - 04/01/15 02:09 PM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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weed reveals you to yourself, try to do your best to be the person you want to be
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Ayah
Perpetual Insomniac


Registered: 03/29/15
Posts: 41
Loc: Present
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Re: I've figured reality for myself man [Re: Connoisseur] 1
#21488386 - 04/01/15 03:49 PM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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How old are you and you're already living a life of regret....?
It may be that you need to lay off it a while until you get your shit together...You're not going to enjoy it anyway until you do....so just do what you know to be right...man up.
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Gottaloveacid
Weedbass



Registered: 10/20/14
Posts: 3,421
Loc: Colorado, USA
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Re: I've figured reality for myself man [Re: idk_13]
#21489315 - 04/01/15 07:30 PM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Aside from quitting all drug use (at least for now), I highly recommend you try to shift your thoughts. From your OP, it sounds like you can only mentally focus on the shit this world offers, rather than the beauty you need to look for yourself.
It took me several strong trips before I opened my eyes and said "god damn.... music and love and life and experience are just the most beautiful things ever...." but I am so happy I did. I was deeply depressed and pissed at the world and even become paranoid but I was able to shift my shit around 180 degrees into a new direction.
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 The greatest story ever told is the story that never ends! wubba lubba dub dubstep
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