I'll admit right off the bat that I haven't gotten any proffesional help, but I can't see how that would help at this point. I've always felt different from other kids in that I was more...timid. Not shy, but weaker in constitution than most kids.
I'd always play it safe, would freak out whenever I got even slightly injured, became embarrassed easily, violence on TV and in movies scarred me for weeks.
I was never molested, abused, traumatized seriously, or had anything considerable happen to me that would cause me to be such a pussy. Eventually this manifested into social anxiety, and then life just kind of snowballed into a giant crapshoot.
I've tried challenging my thoughts (cbt) and sometimes it works, but it seems more like a little trick to cope with the symptoms of whatever is causing the fear in me in the first place.
I believe this is why I have also developed a substance abuse problem. It's not my thoughts, it's my mood and the way I feel that is the problem. When I am high I feel good, so I feel good about the world. Of course then I come down and feel worse.
I'm thinking of biting the bullet and going on meds....but I'm terrified they might mess me up more, or that I'd lose something of myself by being on drugs my whole life :/
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As someone who's also felt extreme social anxiety since I was young, I'll say that productivity has played a huge roll in what I think about myself. The more I do, the more I KNOW I can do. And I feel more prepared for things that happen. How long has this been going on? Your whole life? A few months? A few years? If it's been longer than you can remember since youve been good without drugs, then yea antidepressants would probably be a good idea
Ive been on them. When I was, I felt better. And besides being happy, it showed me what real happiness was after so long of not knowing. And since then I would have something to aim for everyday.
Self talk also is a HUUUUGE part. It is your thoughts that shape who you are and what you do and feel. The rich man can be the most depressed man on earth but the poor man on the street can be the most hopeful and positive you can meet because of what he believes is true. If you BELIEVE your a pussy, then you ARE a pussy.
Ill tell you that the best day of my life is when I didnt complain about anything. Thats where my life turned for the better. I started focusing on the positively of not only the world around me but myself as well. And then I realized that we're all going through the same shit.
If at any point in the reading youve said "yea but..." then that's what you need to focus on not doing and accept what is happening and what your hearing. It is that easy.
Now get the hell out there and make someone happy and share in it with them. Your good enough and I know this. Fuck your shitty thoughts and just go with it. I know you can bro. Peace
-------------------- The mushroom is love. The mushroom is life. Eateth of the fruit body And you will become one with everything.
Edited by Mind-Rip (04/03/15 10:01 AM)
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