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OfflineCoheed88
Amateur Failure
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Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 596
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Housemate Revenge?
    #21461970 - 03/26/15 06:13 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Ok so im somewhat weary that i could be banned for this post, so i'd appreciate if this is the case, that the mods just block the thread rather than ban me as im somewhat emotional at current.

So i moved 200 miles south (UK) to find the job i wanted 2 1/2 years ago. I've had some massive ups and downs - I was bullied at work horrendously, had two failed long term relationships, been arrested, got beat up and suffered with panic attacks, depression and social phobia throughout.

Throughout, the only person i really knew, "A" would be there. "A" was miserable, despondent, almost numb to everything and everyone but himself. We connected because he was the only person who has ever understood me when i told him i didnt want to live. To him, it wasn't that i needed to grow up or put things in perspective, or to focus on the positive. He just understood that I too, had nothing that made me remotely happy or fulfilled.

Each day i came back home, i would fight with whatever shrapnel of confidence and warmth i had to encourage and inspire him. I worked 9-5, whilst he was signed off with chronic fatigue, anxiety and depression. Over time, i developed a lot of the signs of CF alongside my depression. Regardless of what i was feeling, i would always meet him with the smallest glitter of positivity that i could find. Each day i would ask, "how was your day?" "have you looked for jobs" and i would tell him tomorrow could be better, even if i didnt necessarily believe it. I stayed up night after night with him talking about life, meaning and existentialism - often from  dark dark perspectives.

I taught him to swim, how to drive a car, i lied to his girlfriend and told her he never cheated. I took him out for meals, to pubs and clubs, to sports events and to festivals. I tried to give him something - in part, to give me something.

Throughout, he was stubborn, morose and uncompromising. In july 2014, i ended a 12 month relationship. I became consumed by the idea i would find no-one and as a result became suicidally depressed - i couldnt eat or sleep or talk. My dad came to stay to help me physically get out of bed. In this time, "A" bonded with my dad and we all shared a camradarie even if i couldnt engage meaningfully due to my depression.

When dad left, i began drinking heavily and alone. I went out to clubs and bars and I became erratic. I started seeing a counsellor and went about trying to date. After about 3 months of horrific soul destroying lows. I met a girl. I seeked validation from "A" and he refused. As my only friend, he was unwilling to show me any form of happiness, because in his words: "Being happy for others, makes me sad". I called him up on this and he called me a child. I said that i couldnt be friends with anyone who didnt care about other people enough to see beyond their selfishness. He told me the girl was ugly, I asked why say that. He told me never lies. I told him that he was happy to lie the 20 times he cheated on his girlfriend.

A few days later, I went drinking. In the early morning, i drove my car home. I was arrested and charged. I lost my license for 18 months. As a generally upstanding professional with no criminal record, i was devastated. Dad came down to court to support me, i had to inform work, i had to cycle from now on. "A" knew of the court date and asked me nothing. He could see my car was gone and my bike. He didn't care.

I called his girlfriend out of the car a few days later and asked for a word in private. He refused to let her. I told him he didn't own people. She agreed. I told him i was washing my hands with "A" unless he began giving a shit about others. I told her how i stood by "A" no matter what and that i felt hurt,deserted and insulted. She agreed and questioned why she was with him.

I didnt speak to "A" for 2 months. On two occasions he came to me and shouted in my face asking for various items in our house, which i didnt have. He was trembling at the time and looked very anxious. I felt sorry for him, but was equally hurt that he could only be aggressive towards me. Some weeks later, i trapped my hand in a car down and a river of blood flooded our kitchen. I was woozy and light-headed and probably needed some support. He came down, stepped passed me and shouted at me for getting blood on his cupboard.

A few more months of not speaking went by and one evening (4am) after coming back from Amsterdam, our other housemate knocked on the door informing me that the landlord had sent him a message enquiring as to whether my girlfriend visits. He said every now and then but that this wasnt a problem. the next night i asked my 4th housemate and he verified the story. I was struggling to understand how my landlord could know this, till it clicked that "A" had informed him.

Long story short, my landlord gave me an ultimatum, she stops coming round or i leave. I decided to leave. My girlfriend lives 80 miles away and i don't drive so this meant a significant impact on our relationship or a massive financial burden. My get-out plan all along was to contact "A's" girlfriend and tell her the truth about the infidelity. I popped on facebook and they were no longer friends. I went on twitter and read through a number of insulting posts about me and found a post: "I'm hurting so bad right now i can't take it". From this, i surmised that "A" had ended it and that i no longer had a revenge card to play. Furthermore, i inferred that "A" had made a decision to inform my landlord out of jealousy.

I found a house $300 per month more and a $200 holding fee. The day of the move, my new landlord called to discuss the fact that the old landlord had told him i had my gf round. As a result, the offer was withdrawn and i lost my deposit. My gf, who visits 2 times per week, who stays in my room, who eats out with me, who travels to work at 5am and who doesn't shower here, was unable to stay. I was so angry.

I got drunk, again. I got a knife. I banged on his door and ordered him to come out and i would kick the shit out of him. Obviously, he didnt. I was angry and stupid. He informed my landlord, who informed me that he would contact the police if this happened again. I accepted my fate.

I'm struggling to find anywhere now within budget and my big fear is that the landlord will inform new landlords of my behaviour. I have 4 weeks left before i need to be out. I cannot use the kitchen or downstairs, as i fear seeing him and either a) crying or b) hurting him. I can have no meaningful relationship with my girlfriend and c) I no longer feeling comfortable sleeping in a house i once called my home. I'm having nightmares about him, im anxious and on edge constantly and very low. It's effected my mood and morale at work and it's significantly effected my relationship with my gf - who wants to move in with me - i've said no due to the short time we have known eachother - 4 months.

I'm left monumentally hurt that someone i would have done anything for has treated me in such a way. As a 26 yr old guy, i haven't cried in almost 5 years, yet have cried a  number of times in the last month.

People tell me to move on, to get out, to just forget. I can't really. If there were no punishment for the crime, i probably would have killed him by now.

After urinating in all his juice drinks and putting his spoons up my ass,  I can't think of any meaningful comeback that will fill the void of a loss of friendship, home and self-esteem.

My recent idea, is to dose his juice with LSA/Mushrooms because i know he hates being out of control and he would freak out. Somehow i draw a comparison with how he has robbed me of my security and sanity.

If anyone has any ideas or advice on how to make the pain go away, please offer away.

Edited by Coheed88 (03/26/15 06:20 PM)

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InvisibleOeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon Flag
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Coheed88] * 1
    #21462023 - 03/26/15 06:21 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Take a breath and relax

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OfflineAdolin
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 11 days
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Coheed88] * 1
    #21462044 - 03/26/15 06:25 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

your friend sounds like a fucking sociopath, id forget about him and avoid him

dont dose people. he could kill himself or someone else, he obviously doesnt feel empathy

hopefully his misery will eat him alive and he'll opt out. but just leave it to his own devices, dont go giving shrooms to unstable ppl

its nice you tried to help him, but you can ask any psychaiatrist, sociopaths/psychopaths cannot be helped

Edited by Adolin (03/26/15 06:30 PM)

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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Coheed88] * 5
    #21462131 - 03/26/15 06:41 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

You got a lot more shit to fix than your ex-roommate, pal.  He's the least of them.


--------------------

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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,708
Last seen: 3 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Coheed88]
    #21462159 - 03/26/15 06:46 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

You say you can't move on, but you have to. If you honestly would have killed him if it weren't for going to jail by now, then, nothing you can do is going to make you feel any better, not even the slightest. It's all going to seem like it's not enough.

This level of hatred and resentment isn't doing you any favors, either. Sometimes people get away with shit that they shouldn't and even worse, sometimes we have to let them. Just put him out of your life and do your best to move on.

Right now I'm in a somewhat similar predicament. Completely betrayed by someone I thought a friend. I thought about revenge, but have just decided to move on. There is no level of revenge that would make me feel better without sacrificing my own freedom.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

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Offlinelowbrow
Paddy Time!!!!
Male

Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 9,820
Last seen: 1 day, 16 hours
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Coheed88]
    #21462280 - 03/26/15 07:22 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Why is having a girlfriend at the house a big deal?

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InvisibleRustifer
prestige worldwide
Male


Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: lowbrow]
    #21462311 - 03/26/15 07:29 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Your lease should state that people can't stay there for x amount of days in a row without being on the lease. Otherwise it should be cool that she stays a couple nights a week.

If not you need to find a better landlord.

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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,708
Last seen: 3 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: lowbrow]
    #21462312 - 03/26/15 07:30 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Some land lords are dicks and want to consider anyone who even remotely routinely sleeps in the apartment as another person "living there". That generally means they need to be on the lease and the rent goes up to compensate for utilities. But the base of it is, some land lords are dicks and can legally forbid a tenant from having someone else just "come live with them".


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

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Offlinelowbrow
Paddy Time!!!!
Male

Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 9,820
Last seen: 1 day, 16 hours
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21462321 - 03/26/15 07:34 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
Some land lords are dicks and want to consider anyone who even remotely routinely sleeps in the apartment as another person "living there". That generally means they need to be on the lease and the rent goes up to compensate for utilities. But the base of it is, some land lords are dicks and can legally forbid a tenant from having someone else just "come live with them".



Ive never had that problem.  I've heard about it but shit man, a motherfucker gotta be able to get some action in his own house.


--------------------
Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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Offlinepropensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Coheed88]
    #21462349 - 03/26/15 07:41 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

This person has already caused you to sink to the level of desecrating another persons drinks and utensils. I say not to let him drag you down any further. Take his behavior as an example of how NOT to live instead of letting him turn you into another shitty person with his bullshit.


--------------------


۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢
̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆

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Offlinemoonlightdosin
Stranger
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Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 53
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: propensity]
    #21463274 - 03/26/15 10:31 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

I am very sorry you're in this situation OP. As others have said you need to cut your losses and stay anywhere else but there, or risk your own sanity/freedom being taken away from you by a person you plainly see would not care. That being said I think it's absolutely hilarious that you pissed in his water and stuck his spoons up your ass(I find this a particularly weird way of seeking revenge) Lmao :wooawesome:

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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: moonlightdosin]
    #21463646 - 03/26/15 11:39 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Your landlords are dicks.

Pissing in his juices and sticking his spoons up ur ass sounds bad tho.. No offense..

U need to forgive ur friend, even tho u want to kill him, it's not a good reason to kill him btw, and leave it at that. No one said being a nice guy was gonna be easy.


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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InvisibleAstral Pain
Strange

Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 2,923
Loc: Chicago
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: zZZz]
    #21463820 - 03/27/15 12:26 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Sounds like "A" is chaining you down because he doesn't want to be depressed by himself. He probably sees this new girl as your ticket to a better place and disapproves of her to keep you from leaving him alone in the depressed world you have shared together. Maybe if your new girl has a place you could split the difference and go over there sometimes to ease the tension you have with your landlord.


Please don't think you're going to get banned for starting a thread and pouring your heart out.


--------------------
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out"               
                -Bill Hicks-

__

Edited by Astral Pain (03/27/15 04:22 AM)

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Offlinedinoman
Stranger to Love


Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 100
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Astral Pain]
    #21464299 - 03/27/15 06:33 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

You can find a better landlord dude all hope is not lost. I've had to deal with sociopaths I knew for a while. Block them from your texts and phone, facebook anyway they would talk to you. I know sometimes you'll want to find out how that person is now but don't bother, you want them to end up as a nothing, a blip on your mind from a time long ago.

Petty revenge fantasies are best left as fantasies, your revenge can be being happy when you know he'll end up terribly because of who he is.


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OfflineCoheed88
Amateur Failure
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Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 596
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: lowbrow]
    #21465247 - 03/27/15 12:13 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

lowbrow said:
Why is having a girlfriend at the house a big deal?



]


Legally, it is not. It's not in the contract nor is there any law governing anything but subletting - which she is not doing.

A has informed landlord that it is an inconvenince. He is lying. It is no more an inconvenience than a cloud passing by in the sky. He's selfish and jealous. To confirm this, none of the other 3 housemates have said anything and have all defended me. Furthermore, after being asked not to have anyone round till i move out, i came home to find both "a" and another housemate with one night stands in their room. I was so angry i began writing an email to my landlord, till i realized.. what does it matter? I've been royally screwed and complaining can't and won't change this.


--------------------
You don't like yourself, but you admire yourself - it's all you've got, so you cling to it. You're so afraid that if you change, you'll lose what makes you special. Being miserable doesn't make you better than anyone else, it just makes you miserable..

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OfflineCoheed88
Amateur Failure
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Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 596
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Coheed88]
    #21465250 - 03/27/15 12:15 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Landlords can make their own rules following the expiry of a fized term contract. i have lived for 6 months after which i have a rolling monthly contract and lose the rights of long term tenants. I could be asked to leave for looking at my landlord in the wrong way.


All in all guys, pretty sound responses from a drugs forum.

We, the inspired.

Thank you for your comments

Edited by Coheed88 (03/27/15 12:17 PM)

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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,849
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 8 hours, 51 minutes
Re: Housemate Revenge? [Re: Coheed88]
    #21465633 - 03/27/15 01:34 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

FIrst of all. Very well written post OP.

That "A" friend of yours, just cut all contacts with the guy. He's not worth it at all. Plus he'll probably kill himself within a year so your problem with him will solve itself.

Keep looking for an apartment. Get a part time job to fill the empty voids. It'll get your mind off things, plus you'll have some cash for a place to stay.

As for the bad reference. Well, just explain yourself and eventually you''ll find a landlord who gets it.


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