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Offlinelindalohan
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Registered: 10/01/13
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Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness
    #21459767 - 03/26/15 09:23 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

I've been delving into the world of DMT the past 12 months, and have smoked DMT perhaps 30 times over that period, always during the day. The majority of my experiences have been positive, and the more intense experiences have been rapturous. I found myself indulging in DMT every three or four days early on, which I now think is way too often. I'd been taking it for granted in the belief that I couldn't possibly have a negative experience on this most wonderful substance. I was wrong.

DMT taught me a lesson in humility and respect.

I should have noticed the signs, but had paid them no heed. Sure, I've always had a sense of healthy trepidation prior to putting that Machine to my lips and lighting it. But I always overcame that fear.

The trip before my immensely negative experience was as beautiful as ever - at the peak I was immersed in a vortex of the brightest alien starlight, fractals, my mind whirling and whipping from here to there at warp speed, existing in multiple universes at once, and the underlying sense that an invisible yet omniscient 'something' was there, watching me. However, this particular trip started with what I believe to be a warning. Unlike my previous journeys which had always started with me emerging into beauty and light, this one started ominously. My room dimmed to gray, silent, dark. I thought to myself that this trip was going to be different, that I was headed for some kind of mental abyss. Fortunately, as I formulated that thought, the light emerged, and I once again found myself enfolded by the gorgeous realms of hyperspace.

The next trip was different.

Again my room faded to gray. I'd expected the light to appear, but that never happened. Things became darker, and my mind started to descend. I could see reality melt, almost bleed, before my eyes. My previous ascents into hyperspace hadn't been like that at all - it had always been a soaring sensation, where everything would morph and peel away in a trailing, alien, crystalline fashion. This melting was something I wasn't expecting at all. There were no saturated colours - everything was dark, tinged with waves of fearsome bloody red.

I found myself falling into the dark maelstrom. I looked in one direction. Then another. Then another. Faster and faster, until I was looking in infinite directions at once, so fast it all seemed still. My mind split into multiple minds, and I could see everything from a million perspectives, in a million directions. I was no longer one mind - I was an infinity of minds, all watching everything, all watching each other, all watching myself, because they were all me, and I was them, in this dark, swirling universe of never-ending darkness and red lattice lines.

I'd merged with the universe. I was no longer anything - or I was everything, depending on how you look at it. I couldn't let go though. I'd always been able to surrender myself to my previous experiences, because although they'd been intense, they were beautiful and heaven-like. There was nothing heavenly about this place - it was pure consciousness, too much consciousness, riding to the edge of consciousness to the point where consciousness becomes a perfect state of unified universal senselessness. It was pure horror.

It lasted for an eternity.

Emerging from that state was the greatest relief. I looked down at my nude, amber, crystalline, almost alien body on the comedown (I often trip nude in bed, it feels more pure to me somehow) and cried.

I couldn't touch DMT for a few months after that. It's taken a long time to integrate all of this, to summon up the courage to take up this most powerful teacher again. I think the horror comes from the suspicion that I'd reached the limits of consciousness, and that I couldn't possibly take it any further unless I were to die.

I've since had another intense experience - this time smoked DMT with harmalas - but this latest experience was all love, unity, and beauty.

I am wondering if my experience is unusual? My DMT has been extracted by myself from confusa, if that is of any significance.

I'm also wondering if this kind of experience constitutes a 'breakthrough'. My experiences have been very different to many others that I have read about. I have never encountered entities, at least not visually, although I can sense intelligence around me, as though I'm being observed. Perhaps my last experience was full of entities - after all, my mind fracturing into infinite other minds would sort of make those other minds / my other minds sentient entities, wouldn't it?

Also, I've never found myself in 'places' or 'rooms'. It's always been more that I've expanded into a vast universe of infinite possibilities - too many possibilites to make real sense out of - often very chaotic, yet an organised kind of chaos. I have read that Shulgin and Stanislav Grof have experienced a similar kind of complete dissolution of sense and reality, to where no reference to anything at all exists anymore. But Grof used 5 Meo, I think. I'm pretty sure I've been using NMT and nnDMT given that it's from confusa.

I ask this because, in spite of my notion that I may have reached the edge of consciousness, I still wonder if I can go further. Or are such experiences the furthest one can go with DMT?

I would welcome any thoughts on this. Thank you for reading.

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OfflineSupachopped719
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Re: DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness [Re: lindalohan]
    #21459979 - 03/26/15 10:08 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

I believe the experience is INFINITE!! That is, you always think you can't go any deeper and then you load up a small bowl by your own standards. And see shit you never thought possible, even though you've smoked plenty of times before.

Imagine if you have a trip just as intense as this one but now your ready and you ease into the experience the second time. You will go so much deeper without the fear.

I have also read countless other reports similar to yours. Where someone expands into a an infinite consciousness, while dissolving thier own. I don't say that to discount your trip, I think it adds validity to it. There may be something there.


--------------------
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.

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InvisibleJean-guy Masta
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Registered: 09/23/14
Posts: 1,827
Loc: MT-Hell
Re: DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness [Re: lindalohan]
    #21460544 - 03/26/15 12:33 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Can we delete the post on top of me , LOL steroid.. fuck off !! probably a cop bot anyway...

For OP I think that your "bad trip" was the first time you were really in hyperspace and you weren't prepared enough. it takes really a lot of DMT smoke in the 1 mintute time frame to go to hyperspace and its a whole other experience then not breaking through or sub breakthrough . it takes a lot of practice and willing to actually go where you meet entities and different dimension . and losing ego is a really hard process too , nothing easy going through this .

The amount of respect you have to have towards the DMT is ridiculus . Not comparable to any other psych IME . you have to sit will doing it the shaman in the amazon says its the way to communicate with spirits and lying down in a sleepy state is no good , also having a clear head (atleast 3 days without any psych weed include) , NMT and DMT oxide (DMT resin that stays in your bong/pipe) plays a role in clarity also . Also having a good routine in your everyday life and be specialy prepared for the experience . eat good food etc ..

I remember my first time I brokethrough, I thought I had a lot of respect for the drug...hell I didn't know..I was doing everything wrong . it was truly horrible experience when I came down I was just so happy to be alive and touch my face and be something . really weird experience that scared the fuck out of me took a long time before trying it again and even more going back to hyperspace..

But just so you know , you can push the experience way more further then you did . and you can have the real experience . it just takes HUGE amount of respect . almost a dedication to the DMT . if you make it , you will be rewarded my friend trust me


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Offlinethoraxx
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Registered: 12/27/13
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Re: DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness [Re: Jean-guy Masta]
    #21460653 - 03/26/15 01:03 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Tripping naked sounds fun, gotta try that next time i do a sub breaktrhough

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OfflineSDTribal
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Re: DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness [Re: Jean-guy Masta]
    #21460688 - 03/26/15 01:16 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

I don't think there is a limit on dmt. Each experience is so variable I don't think there can be a limit. Everytime I have smoked 2 or more large hits I come in contact with entities. I've never had the experience of becoming pure consciousness like you and so many others have reported.

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InvisibleMikeBearPig
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Re: DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness [Re: SDTribal]
    #21461492 - 03/26/15 04:40 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

You don't think there is a limit?

Wait until your friend blacks out and starts rolling on the ground moaning and trying to bite off his own fingers while staring you into the eyes.

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InvisibleJean-guy Masta
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Registered: 09/23/14
Posts: 1,827
Loc: MT-Hell
Re: DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness [Re: MikeBearPig]
    #21461753 - 03/26/15 05:32 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

SDTribal said:
I don't think there is a limit on dmt. Each experience is so variable I don't think there can be a limit. Everytime I have smoked 2 or more large hits I come in contact with entities. I've never had the experience of becoming pure consciousness like you and so many others have reported.



soooo you actually had an ego when you were with those entities ?

I would love to be like hey wassup clowns and aliens what yall doin just chillin in hyperspace ? :lol:

there is surely a limit one should not go more then 50 mg if he actually vaporize it all and smoke it the right way.

The blackout from dmt is real for sure.


--------------------

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OfflineSDTribal
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Re: DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness [Re: Jean-guy Masta]
    #21464557 - 03/27/15 08:31 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

MikeBearPig said:
You don't think there is a limit?

Wait until your friend blacks out and starts rolling on the ground moaning and trying to bite off his own fingers while staring you into the eyes.




Ha yeah I've seen that. I mean there is no real limit to the weirdness and complexity of the experience. Everytime you think you've reached it, dmt will surprise you again. But yeah there is a definite physical limit.


Quote:

Jean-guy Masta said:
Quote:

SDTribal said:
I don't think there is a limit on dmt. Each experience is so variable I don't think there can be a limit. Everytime I have smoked 2 or more large hits I come in contact with entities. I've never had the experience of becoming pure consciousness like you and so many others have reported.



soooo you actually had an ego when you were with those entities ?

I would love to be like hey wassup clowns and aliens what yall doin just chillin in hyperspace ? :lol:

there is surely a limit one should not go more then 50 mg if he actually vaporize it all and smoke it the right way.

The blackout from dmt is real for sure.




Yeah my ego is still always there in certain degrees. The only time I have had complete ego death was on shrooms. It is pretty cool until it's some evil entity reaching in your head haha.

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OfflineTheGreenArrow
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Re: DMT Fear, Breakthrough, and the Edges of Consiousness [Re: SDTribal]
    #21464714 - 03/27/15 09:20 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

Well I feel like the stuff about abstaining from cannabis is a bit overboard personally.  But then again that may be just HIS ritual.  The specific symbols aren't really all that important; its the intent behind them that does.  OP you have to find whatever ritual it is that gets you to a tranquil state of mind.  Then go into it with the INTENT that you want.

So far I've experiences have ranged from straight up entity contact in different planes of existence to becoming the golden white light that seems to be all the conscious energy pushing this entire she-bang.

I would just give DMT respect.  It definitely merits that.


--------------------
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs

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