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SeaShrooms
The dude



Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1,989
Loc: Hitchhiking
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: lil_demented] 1
#21402287 - 03/13/15 01:36 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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I hope you say that to someone in real life and get smacked.
-------------------- The life of a condemned soul is hatred.
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Dekozn
Stranger than kindness


Registered: 04/12/06
Posts: 964
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: SeaShrooms] 1
#21402295 - 03/13/15 01:40 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- Organized people are just to lazy to search for their stuff...
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Dekozn] 2
#21403480 - 03/13/15 06:54 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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whip it to the max niggaw
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MrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)

Registered: 04/27/11
Posts: 3,753
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Hobozen] 1
#21403574 - 03/13/15 07:20 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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LOL go to the page that youtube video was on[/url] and try to read the comments if you want the real funnies. Dafuq are they saying?
-------------------- Confucius say: He who sticks drugs in butthole has head up ass. EVOLUTION REQUIRES REPRODUCTION
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: MrBlueYoMind] 1
#21403597 - 03/13/15 07:27 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Hobozen] 1
#21403605 - 03/13/15 07:30 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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the Jamaican language is strange, it's like super simplified English. what takes us 10 seconds to say takes them 5 
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Hobozen] 2
#21404687 - 03/14/15 01:03 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Hobozen] 3
#21404817 - 03/14/15 03:18 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,634
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Hobozen] 2
#21404929 - 03/14/15 05:18 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,071
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Asante] 3
#21405312 - 03/14/15 08:38 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Liveleaks: Fisherman Stumbles Across a Seal
Filthyfrank porn title rap:
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drege
This space for lease

Registered: 11/04/14
Posts: 1,560
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: moonrockmushy] 7
#21409707 - 03/15/15 01:57 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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--------------------
https://discord.gg/hqdy5ymn
Edited by drege (03/15/15 01:58 AM)
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drege
This space for lease

Registered: 11/04/14
Posts: 1,560
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: drege] 5
#21409724 - 03/15/15 02:05 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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A wife arriving home after a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words.
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride.
She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.
Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style.
She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you.
Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.
Then, as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, "Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?"
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https://discord.gg/hqdy5ymn
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CosmicFool
Psychoholic



Registered: 05/14/06
Posts: 9,581
Loc: 203
Last seen: 6 days, 22 hours
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: drege] 5
#21410249 - 03/15/15 06:53 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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--------------------
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: CosmicFool] 1
#21410301 - 03/15/15 07:15 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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^ Idiocracy
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PanzerCubed



Registered: 11/22/12
Posts: 2,285
Loc: Nauru
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: memes] 1
#21410333 - 03/15/15 07:33 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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#Merica 
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Constantine
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)



Registered: 05/01/11
Posts: 4,643
Loc:
Last seen: 2 months, 19 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: PanzerCubed] 4
#21410508 - 03/15/15 08:51 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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--------------------
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,849
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 8 hours, 58 minutes
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Constantine] 1
#21411176 - 03/15/15 12:33 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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All the twitter idiocy is all black people... Why?
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ

Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Patlal] 2
#21411207 - 03/15/15 12:46 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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because someone designed the picture to represent that, and make you question your views.
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Constantine
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)



Registered: 05/01/11
Posts: 4,643
Loc:
Last seen: 2 months, 19 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: akira_akuma] 4
#21411470 - 03/15/15 01:18 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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--------------------
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 month, 11 days
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Re: Can we has a funnies thread? -- Part 5 [Re: Constantine] 1
#21415201 - 03/16/15 09:52 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Excerpt from Naked Lunch) William S. Burroughs
The lavatory has been locked for three hours solid…. I think they are using it for an operating room….
NURSE: “I can’t find her pulse, doctor.”
DR. BENWAY: “Maybe she got it up her snatch in a finger stall.”
NURSE: “Adrenalin, doctor?”
DR. BENWAY: “The night porter shot it all up for kicks.” He looks around and picks up one of those rubber vacuum cups at the end of a stick they use to unstop toilets…. He advances on the patient…. “Make an incision, Doctor Limpf,” he says to his appalled assistant…. “I’m going to massage the heart.”
Dr. Limpf shrugs and begins the incision. Dr. Benway washes the suction cup by swishing it around in the toilet-bowl….
NURSE: “Shouldn’t it be sterilized, doctor?”
DR. BENWAY: “Very likely but there’s no time.” He sits on the suction cup like a cane seat watching his assistant make the incision…. “You young squirts couldn’t lance a pimple without an electric vibrating scalpel with automatic drain and suture…. Soon we’ll be operating by remote control on patients we never see…. We’ll be nothing but button pushers. All the skill is going out of surgery…. All the know-how and make-do… Did I ever tell you about the time I performed an appendectomy with a rusty sardine can? And once I was caught short without instrument one and removed a uterine tumor with my teeth. That was in the Upper Effendi, and besides…”
DR. LIMPF: “The incision is ready, doctor.”
Dr. Benway forces the cup into the incision and works it up and down. Blood spurts all over the doctors, the nurse and the wall…. The cup makes a horrible sucking sound.
NURSE: “I think she’s gone, doctor.”
DR. BENWAY: “Well, it’s all in the day’s work.” He walks across the room to a medicine cabinet…. “Some fucking drug addict has cut my cocaine with Saniflush! Nurse! Send the boy out to fill this RX on the double!”
Dr. Benway is operating in an auditorium filled with students: “Now, boys, you won’t see this operation performed very often and there’s a reason for that…. You see it has absolutely no medical value. No one knows what the purpose of it originally was or if it had a purpose at all. Personally I think it was a pure artistic creation from the beginning.
“Just as a bull fighter with his skill and knowledge extricates himself from danger he has himself invoked, so in this operation the surgeon deliberately endangers his patient, and then, with incredible speed and celerity, rescues him from death at the last possible split second…. Did any of you ever see Dr. Tetrazzini perform? I say perform advisedly because his operations were performances. He would start by throwing a scalpel across the room into the patient and then make his entrance like a ballet dancer. His speed was incredible: ‘I don’t give them time to die,’ he would say. Tumors put him in a frenzy of rage. ‘Fucking undisciplined cells!’ he would snarl, advancing on the tumor like a knife-fighter.”
A young man leaps down into the operating theatre and, whipping out a scalpel, advances on the patient.
DR. BENWAY: “An espontaneo! Stop him before he guts my patient!”
(Espontaneo is a bull-fighting term for a member of the audience who leaps down into the ring, pulls out a concealed cape and attempts a few passes with the bull before he is dragged out of the ring.)
The orderlies scuffle with the espontaneo, who is finally ejected from the hall. The anesthetist takes advantage of the confusion to pry a large gold filling from the patient’s mouth….
watch a live action roleplay with mr. burroughs of this exerpt here:
Edited by Adolin (03/16/15 09:56 AM)
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