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OfflineKinko
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guide to passing a pre-employment urine test
    #21378645 - 03/08/15 02:57 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

for the past year ive been smoking daily usually a joint or 2 on average.. now i have a pre-employment drug test in a lab tomorrow morning i will be using the certo sure jell with about half a gallon of water 2 hours prior to test , ive been taking creatine monohydrate for at least a couple days and will be using b2 to give color to my urine...              i will post results soon either i pass and get the job or ill be living under a bridge soon enough

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InvisibleSalomon
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko] * 2
    #21378788 - 03/08/15 03:20 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Kinko said:
              i will post results soon either i pass and get the job or ill be living under a bridge soon enough





this seems like a good reason to use the old fashion, stop doing drugs that will get you unemployed tek.


i heard it's super hard because cannabis has super hard withdrawals worse than heroin and Xanax and jenkem combined :aaaargh:


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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT


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InvisibleForest Sprite
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21378859 - 03/08/15 03:37 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Or you could do what I did the other day to land a new job.... use a trusted friend's clean piss. Have them piss in a condom enough to fill up to the line in a piss cup. They tie the condom shut, you put that condom inside a pill bottle and tape some hand warmers to the  outside of the pill bottle and keep that thing in between your legs until you have to piss. If you have boxer briefs it's nice cuz you can let the bottle sit in the little pouch-type thing that is in between your dick and ass lol. As far as getting the piss out of the condom, just have a safety pin with you to pop the condom and squeeze it empty into the piss cup. Tadah. Passed a piss test. Pretty damn easy, I'm expecting you won't be watched when you piss. I wasn't. Hell they didn't even check my pockets, not like they'd find my cheating strategy there though. They would have had to get in my pants to find it haha


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fuck dick

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Invisiblechicksgrowtoo
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Forest Sprite]
    #21379039 - 03/08/15 04:23 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I have to say here that I've seen a lot of people fuck up with hand warmers... it gets warmer than your body temp so they know you used someone elses, just put it close to your skin for at least an hour.

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OfflineNatures medicine
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21379052 - 03/08/15 04:27 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

chicksgrowtoo said:
I have to say here that I've seen a lot of people fuck up with hand warmers... it gets warmer than your body temp so they know you used someone elses, just put it close to your skin for at least an hour.





Just tape the condom to your gooch... They don't do a full body pat down.


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Invisiblechicksgrowtoo
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Natures medicine]
    #21379075 - 03/08/15 04:32 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I've always put mine in my bra in the past and not in a condom...that just seems like it could end very badly.

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OfflineNatures medicine
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21379086 - 03/08/15 04:34 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Well I don't have boobies...

I don't have to worry about that anyway. I just like giving good ideas haha :cool:


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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21379174 - 03/08/15 04:52 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

fail.


IF you are really lean you can flood with water 2hrs prior.  However if they do a specific gravity test your urine concentration will be too below.  You can say you're diabetic or have kidney issues but my bet is you will surely fail this test..  but good luck


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OfflineKinko
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: sprinkles]
    #21379647 - 03/08/15 06:29 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

people on youtube swear by the sure jell maybe it does work i will report results tomorrow

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OfflineKinko
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21379655 - 03/08/15 06:30 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

god im so nervous

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InvisibleAdden
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21379663 - 03/08/15 06:31 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I just drink a gallon of water every day 3 days prior and start filling the cup midstream and stop urinating when I get near the end.

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OfflineKinko
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Adden]
    #21379693 - 03/08/15 06:36 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

did it work for you?

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OfflineKinko
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21379703 - 03/08/15 06:38 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

btw ive been running/ drinking alot of water the last few days i got a walmart thc test kit this morning and it was positive for THC.    .... shit just got real

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InvisibleAtreyu
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21379727 - 03/08/15 06:42 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I bought some synthetic urine to have on hand just in case.


Good luck Kinko


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つ ◕_◕ ༽つ N = R* • fp • ne • fl • fi • fc • L 

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OfflineNatures medicine
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21379923 - 03/08/15 07:09 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Kinko said:
btw ive been running/ drinking alot of water the last few days i got a walmart thc test kit this morning and it was positive for THC.    .... shit just got real




Should have thought about it before you started smoking bud  :facepalm3:


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Invisiblesh4d0ws
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Natures medicine]
    #21379980 - 03/08/15 07:20 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Use the fake dick thing with synthetic urine


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Invisiblechicksgrowtoo
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21380052 - 03/08/15 07:34 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

If you were going to exercise the time for that has probably passed... if you exercise then go in for a test you're just going to make the concentration higher. How do you think the thc exits the body when you "work it off". I would stop exercising for a good 3 days before....diluting will also make you fail a lab test anyways, if you're going to dilute make sure it's just a stick test you're getting.

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Offlinealer
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21380099 - 03/08/15 07:48 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Dilution unfortunately won't work on a lab UA. The people that UA told me that one time a girl diluted her urine but they still sent it to the lab just in case, they were able to still detect a small amount of thc.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21380124 - 03/08/15 07:54 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Are they even testing for weed?


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InvisibleAdden
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Re: guide to passing a pre-employment urine test [Re: Kinko]
    #21380125 - 03/08/15 07:54 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

TEMPLAR PALADIN said:
I just drink a gallon of water every day 3 days prior and start filling the cup midstream and stop urinating when I get near the end.




Quote:

Kinko said:
did it work for you?




Yes. It always works for me. I smoke 20 days and take a week break then water up. Tested every 30 days, has worked the past 8 months.

*** Disclaimer: This works for me. Everyone's body type is different. People smoke different amounts. If it means jail or getting kicked out of a clinic, people should just abstain.

Pissing halfway through and getting your urine midstream is a lot better than getting firsts or lasts on it.

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