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OfflineOliverJames
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Registered: 02/28/12
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Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? * 1
    #21373013 - 03/07/15 12:29 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Directly from reddit, I can't, unfortunately, take credit for this gem of a post. Really felt like it needed to be put up here though
Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/2y3ppr/do_you_ever_test_your_highness_by_ordering_a_pizza/

(Edit: I ate some mushrooms. (Also, I love the love. Thanks people (and non-people).))

I have it down pat.

Me, ordering a pizza, is as automatic as that guy on the other end of the phone taking my order. We dance the familiar steps like in a Jane Austen novel movie adaption, where they are literally dancing but it's a metaphor for something something...

but anyways, me and the pizza phone guy, we know these steps. He asks for my number, I rattle it off because it's tattooed on my soul because it's been the most consistent thing about my life the past 8 years. Then he asks for my address, you know, just to confirm that the screen he's looking at is pulling up the info for the right person. Me. My pizza. Yeah, that's me. So I say this number which isn't quite so solid, there's a chance I might still say something else like... whatever my address was 3 years ago. That one was a long-termer. At least 4 years of ordering pizza to that address made its impression. But thankfully, those numbers don't come out of my mouth, no, it's the right ones, and I am pleased. It gives me that nice feeling like, maybe I am coming down enough that I won't be hanging on the atmosphere like it's a paper thin glass sphere with all my guts pressing precariously against the inside wall of it.

Anyways.

So then I describe the pizza I'm married to. The same pizza I've always gotten since as long as I can remember, because when I order a pizza I like to know that it's an experience I know what I can expect from. I just want that flavour to be the flavour I know that I like. What's so wrong about having the same pizza over and over again? Nothing! An added bonus is that I can order a pizza over the phone while potentially still-high, and have no nasty social surprises like "did I just say that?" no. None of that.

I get through the rest of the order, and I am so pleased with how natural I am. Fuck yeah! And at the last minute I decide to get risky. I wanted a 2 L. Of ginger ale.

So I asked for it, of course.

And they were like "Uh, we don't have any ginger ale, sorry."

And I was like "............................................................"

And they were like "But we do have cokepepsidrpepperrootbeersevenuporangecrushcreamsoda."

And I was like "............ you know.......... *clucks teeth as if the phone guy is offering me a plate of varied hor deouvres and I just can't decide which fine selection I shall actually partake upon my palette ---- WHEN IN FACT I was grappling heavily with the implications of these harsh options. Can my vibe right now handle the fizzy chaos of coke right now? Am I going to be okay without any Ginger Ale now that I've imagined it, will not having it make me feel weird? No.. probably not... and if it does, it is offset by the fact that I definitely would be saving money at least being a little consctientious of my bank account even if I am still spending money at least it isn't as exorbitant as it would have been if I had gotten some stupid-version of the 2L of Ginger Ale of my dreams.

And I was overwhelmed, and I know that silence stretched strangely long, that guy was waiting, he knows I know the drill, I'm supposed to answer asap and let him stay in the flow so he can forget the fact that he's been doing this for 4 hours and still has another 4 to go. But I couldn't help it. That choice, man. So important. But not worth taking this much time for, definitely. So I pull out, hard, and say:

"I was actually, I think, just in the mood for ginger ale."

I heard him giggling at me. I guess the big revelation in all of this is that I'm definitely high.

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OfflineRico1992
Cizin
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Registered: 10/02/14
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Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: OliverJames]
    #21373023 - 03/07/15 12:33 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Haha I used to be cocky and try to go restaurants. Then this one time I ordered everything but I couldn't eat properly and spilled 3 cups of water on myself. Had ordered pasta and fuck I made a mess. Ended up letting my friend eat my food.

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Offlinealer
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Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 753
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Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: Rico1992]
    #21373038 - 03/07/15 12:45 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I misread the title I thought it mean when I'm HIGH. Anyways when I am high I tend to write a lot of bounced checks to pizza hut, never have been charged though... yet.


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InvisibleApollyphelion
Dungeon Master/Princess(1009)
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Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 16,757
Loc: Festival of Deaths
Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: aler]
    #21373159 - 03/07/15 02:07 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

last week me and the wife took some AL-LAD and were to fucked up to want to go out, so we called a wine delivery service. We drank and were merry.


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

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Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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OfflineOliverJames
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Registered: 02/28/12
Posts: 3,085
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #21373174 - 03/07/15 02:20 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

:lol: That sounds splendid, did not even know those existed. How'd the wine combo with the AL?

I can't actually eat pizza, I'm extremely lactose intolerant, not even that lactaid stuff helps. But anyway, about 6 or 7 years ago, when I was still trying to eat dairy, me and a couple buddies had left a party, all of us were real twisted, walking back to my place, but we were starving, so we ordered a pizza while chilling on the side of the road. Well we sat there on this grassy island between the road, and all of us passed out right there.

I had sent the pizza guy our gps location since I couldn't describe the location. He showed up about 20 minutes after we fell asleep, and he freaked the fuck out. I guess he thought maybe we had been attacked or murdered for some reason, so he grabbed hold of my buddy and began to frantically shake him asking if he was alright. Of course we were completely fine, we explained the situation (to the best of our ability), paid for the pizza, and let him go. But man it was weird, its not like we looked all that beaten up:shrug: But when I woke up and saw this pizza guy shaking my friend, I was confused as all hell. I thought something may have actually happened

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Offlineendogenous
נפל מגיהינום
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Registered: 10/07/12
Posts: 2,365
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Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: OliverJames]
    #21373180 - 03/07/15 02:28 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

OliverJames said:
Quote:

Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza?



No - but why would finding out if she likes pizza be a test?


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The Day of the Lord has come like a thief in the night. -- It is there but no one knows it.

Edited by endogenous (03/07/15 02:29 AM)

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OfflineSoulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
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Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: OliverJames]
    #21373181 - 03/07/15 02:35 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

organise your shit before you put the world on tilt bros! thats how its done!


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R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
[/url]

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InvisibleApollyphelion
Dungeon Master/Princess(1009)
Female User Gallery

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 16,757
Loc: Festival of Deaths
Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: OliverJames]
    #21373185 - 03/07/15 02:36 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Well, I always start drinking champagne or wine starting in the middle of pretty much any psychedelic trip, for the last 6 years. I give it my thumbs up. The holy trinity: Wine Weed and Trips.


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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OfflineSoulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
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Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21373188 - 03/07/15 02:39 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

i love/hate how the tiniest thigns can turn into a massive journey while tripping though.


take for e.g. being way too high and needing to get a cab home. simple task, right? usually, no issues at all. BUT THEN YOU ATE MUSHROOMS.

You look down at your phone, and keep forgetting what your doing because you get mesmerized in the bright lights and vibrant colours. and instead of trying to call the cab you just flick the apps around a bit and open and close shit for a bit.

BUT OKAY, i'm back on track. i gotta get a cab. but i cant even fuckign read the screen. cab. cab. cab..... searching my address book for cab is not yielding results. the same with taxi. i do not have the number saved. now i must navigate the internet to find a valid phone number. i've ran out of steam with this story, but you get the picture.

And  besides, even when you get into the cab, everything looks like some kind of bizarro world twilight zone shit and you are lost. if the guy in the cab doesnt have a GPS system you are surely doomed

and then you get home, and have to navigate your way into the house. and you go to bed, and you prolly piss your pants at some point too

ahh, mushrooms.


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R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
[/url]

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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,708
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Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21373193 - 03/07/15 02:43 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I don't even have a love/hate relationship with it. I just hate it. All I wanna do is listen to some fucking music and now I've gotta go download codecs and a new media player and figure out how to work it and all kinds of stupid shit because I can't understand why the one I always use isn't working all of a sudden.

I think technology just conspires against us when we trip.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

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OfflineSoulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
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Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: Shroomslip]
    #21373197 - 03/07/15 02:45 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

thats exactly it. i can tell you know this feel also hahaha

like i have to navigate my PC across 5 different drives to fgind the shit im looking for and i jsut fuck it up and cant do it LOl


--------------------

R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
[/url]

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OfflineSoulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .
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Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
Loc: Atlantis Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: Do you ever test your highness by ordering a pizza? [Re: Soulidarity]
    #21373198 - 03/07/15 02:46 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

we made it to the room, but the key, wouldn't open the door :fearandloathing:


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R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
[/url]

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