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Offlinemystica
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Somewhere, a life
    #21349096 - 03/01/15 05:29 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Hey guys!

I haven't posted in a while.

My life/thoughts/interests are becoming too strange for my environment so I thought I'd post in a more appropriate place :wink: Just random about how and what I'm doing. I've seen many interesting discussions on here and I'm sure I'll be joining in shortly. Anyways, ask me anything!

So.. what am I up to these days?
My life was pretty rough and I decided to try and make it easier. I'm finding out what I like and pursuing it while trying to stay physically and mentally healthy :tongue: My mentality is growing more alien each day. I might be a schizophrenic so I'm going to see a doctor shortly, but I'm learning to embrace it and live with it.

I plan to keep/make psychedelics play a big role in my life. I have to choose what to study in about.. 2 days lol. I am considering every aspect to it, including my 'hippie' morale and... all the rest that comes with partying like a hippie :laugh: There's no such thing as 'university of metaphysics' or 'psychedelic neuropharmacology' so I'm thinking just 'physics' might do. Imagine all the quantuum-particles-cool-lasers-things I will be learning about :laugh: :laugh:

I got umm 7 months free time left. Jesus. I'm researching different stuff online, drawing, going to nature, playing the piano, listening to music.. I'm planning on tripping alot in the future, so I will be leading like a diary of some sort. I intend to connect my psychedelic experience with my natural psych exp (:D) and kinda throw in some advanced science knowledge and try to express this either in art or written form.(life goal) I am not (yet) planning to become a guru or shaman, tho I have been named one before. My thoughts are still very confused and I don't really have a goal, it's just that I (really) like these topics.

If anyone wants to strike a convo I'm up! And if anyone has similar interests, I'd be more than happy to hear bout em.

Cheers!

:cool::tongue::heart::mushroom2::grin::mushroom2::mushroom2::rasta:
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InvisibleHeisencybin
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: mystica]
    #21349662 - 03/01/15 08:01 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

7 months left?

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Offlinemystica
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: Heisencybin]
    #21349820 - 03/01/15 08:48 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah forgot to mention - I'm currently not studying, I dropped out last year and I haven't been able to find a job. Until recently I've been running around but now I'm back home and got free time.

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InvisibleHuskyHonkey
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: mystica]
    #21350105 - 03/01/15 10:14 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Best of luck with uni, man. Sorry to hear about the possible schizophrenia. I know you plan to keep psychedelics a part of your life, but from what I've heard, schizophrenia and psychedelics don't mix. Is it possible that this alien mentality is being triggered by the use of psychedelic substances?


--------------------
"Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream, it is not dying."
_______Tomorrow Never Knows, The Beatles_______
____|:yinyang:|:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:|:brainondrugs:|:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:|:yinyang:|____
|-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-|

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OfflineNova

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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: mystica]
    #21350127 - 03/01/15 10:21 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

If you are interested in science, look into specific science careers and then base your schooling around that. Try to find a goal or a career direction.

Edited by Nova (03/01/15 10:22 PM)

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Offlinemystica
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: Nova]
    #21350281 - 03/01/15 11:19 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Meh our educational system is kinda limited; you can pick for example biology OR medicine OR law and then stick to that thing for 3 years (and on, if you decide so). Very unlike the US. You're only free to choose certain subjects which are closely related to your faculty anyways. I used to study chemistry.

Sometimes I have hppd but it goes away eventually but my 'oldschool' hallucinations have been there prior to drug (ab)use. I've always been kinda off. But they used to call it 'teenage rage'.

In fact I've had less hallucinations since I started taking psychedelics. By handling a trip in public, I learn how to deal with it daily (if needed).

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Offlinemystica
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: mystica]
    #21364365 - 03/05/15 01:01 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Ok so I enrolled in physics and I got an appointment with a psychiatrist soon cause I seem to be an urgent case :smile: Now I'm free to do whatever I want, I'm kinda glad I got this decision off my back but it kinda scares me too - not an easy pursuit. So I'll probably be learning the wonderful language of mathematics?

New era of life yeaa

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InvisibleHuskyHonkey
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: mystica]
    #21364920 - 03/05/15 07:55 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Glad to hear you're seeing a psychiatrist. Now that you're enrolled in physics maybe you can help me with my homework!  :lol:


--------------------
"Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream, it is not dying."
_______Tomorrow Never Knows, The Beatles_______
____|:yinyang:|:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:|:brainondrugs:|:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:|:yinyang:|____
|-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-|

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Offlinemystica
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: HuskyHonkey]
    #21365220 - 03/05/15 09:30 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I know this day'd come when people will just assume I can split atoms for them, just didn't expect it'd be on Day 1. But go ahead, if you need anything, I did actually pass Phys1 as a chem student :grin:



Does anyone feel like everybody is just wasting time and never doing anything that matters - you know the kinda stuff you'll regret in old age - why didn't I become an astronaut, why haven't I found the cure for cancer,.. Am I somehow incurably depressed for never finding joy in 'the usual' entertainment.. always kinda bores me.. yawn.. and all those intelligent people always ramble neverendingly and STILL avoid doing anything that matters themselves..

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OfflinePed
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: mystica]
    #21372929 - 03/06/15 11:39 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Your post is certainly colourful.  As to its content, I voted "I'm not sure."  It seems clear that you're out there on the fringes -- what this means to you and your life is not up to me to judge, however.

I will say that if you're being assessed for schizophrenia, maintaining or increasing your intake of psychedelics is probably not a good idea.  While psychedelics are currently being explored as potential treatments for schizophrenic patients, the conditions under which these treatments are being assessed are highly specific, and not remotely akin to the sort of use a "psychedelic person" (so to speak) conventionally undertakes.

Most specifically, psychedelic drugs increase concentrations of prefrontal glutamate by way of 5-HT2A activation.  Glutamate is the brain's chief excitatory neurotransmitter, and prefrontal hyperactivation is centrally involved in schizophrenia and other disorders with psychotic features.  Glutamate and its receptors (NMDA, primarily) are also involved in neuroplasticity, and it's for this reason that psychedelics may have a role in treating psychotic disorders (by "reprogramming" the affected brain regions), but this sort of application needs to be finely tuned.  Research into this fine-tuning remains in its earliest infancy, and may yet prove altogether useless or even detrimental.

I'd be cautious about this.  Schizophrenia is a debilitating illness.  If you are at risk of schizophrenia, or are being evaluated to that end, the wisest course of action right now is to abstain from psychedelic drugs -- at least until a firm conclusion is reached.


>> Does anyone feel like everybody is just wasting time and never doing anything that matters - you know the kinda stuff you'll regret in old age - why didn't I become an astronaut, why haven't I found the cure for cancer,.. Am I somehow incurably depressed for never finding joy in 'the usual' entertainment.. always kinda bores me.. yawn.. and all those intelligent people always ramble neverendingly and STILL avoid doing anything that matters themselves..

This is a valid piece of philosophical commentary, in my opinion, but your remarks about schizophrenia cause me to wonder if this commentary is or is not borne of negative schizoaffective symptoms such as anhedonia or obsessive thinking.  I don't mean to resist you here, but your mention of schizophrenia forces me to call specific attention to how your mental health may be affecting your thought processes.


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
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Offlinemystica
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: Ped]
    #21373163 - 03/07/15 02:09 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Damn, you're one hell of a conversationalist.

Well I certainly can't say my life has been steady and stable. (ever). I'm not sure tho whether this is good or bad.

Quote:

abstain from psychedelic drugs -- at least until a firm conclusion is reached




This is what I'm doing otherwise it's been a while and I cannot wait. But right now I'm abstaining from ALL drugs.
Otherwise I used to have daily hallucinations and heavy migraine and when I first tried shrooms that went away-at least I get different ones and those early were really a pain in the.. Seems to me as if psychedelics a) release vast amounts of hallucinations at once so I have peace until next session b) teach me how to live with what I naturally see/feel, how to incorporate it in my life. They also present me answers to those insolvable loop questions I usually have. About the migraine, I am SO happy, imagine not being able to function every single day for years and years.... terrible. And I heard this from many people, as far as 10 so far - that LSD/mushrooms cured their permanent migraines.

I was bout to message you about brain chemistry anyways-

Quote:

if this commentary is or is not borne of negative schizoaffective symptoms such as anhedonia or obsessive thinking




This is certainly what I had in mind with ''Am I somehow incurably depressed for never finding joy in 'the usual' entertainment'' but maybe I'm just aware of future consequence of my actions to the point that I feel ambivalent over everything (again, I'm not saying it isn't a symptom, it most probably is); but I'm thinking many people do not think this through and end up with a life they never wanted, which is the last thing I want to happen. I don't want to mess up and then drown my blues in alcohol (the national sport) for the rest of my life. So far this dissatisfaction with the usual has led me places and also made me work very very hard in school and also in free time, to gain knowledge. But I do envy others who just go about their lives and can pinpoint some exact time in the past and say, yeah I lived a good and stable life then, it was alot of fun. Weed etc. helps with 'being in the now', I guess.

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Offlinemystica
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: mystica]
    #21392118 - 03/11/15 10:32 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Update; today I got my self-diagnosis confirmed, but he also pointed something else out - my brains.. so I should be doing more studying and less people's behaviors interpretation.. since the two of us supposedly don't mix.

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OfflinePed
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: mystica]
    #21393939 - 03/11/15 04:58 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Can you go into more detail?  Just curious.  It usually takes more than one appointment to get such a significant diagnosis.


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace

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Offlinemystica
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Re: Somewhere, a life [Re: Ped]
    #21464780 - 03/27/15 09:37 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

I deleted the rant cause I was reality checked again and it doesn't matter anymore

Edited by mystica (03/27/15 01:07 PM)

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