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Anonymous #1

what kindof mental illness might i have?
    #21334307 - 02/26/15 05:49 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I know this is a long story and im being self-centered but this matters to me.Since I was a little kid,as little as 6 or 7 I had a completely weird habit.I used to sit in the couch in a certain position where i can move my body left and right,kind of like spinning my whole body and head around...like a complete retard..I would do that for a whole hour...
I dont know why i did this,its weird,it was a terrible habit and i am seriously still ashamed of it.It became a kind of addiction to me,very impulsive and irrational about it,i would get bored if i dont do it,similar to a smoking habit,and i did it until around the age of 15-16.Even though i had fazes where i stopped but still...
Im not sure why i did it,i would get some music while in it,think weird thoughts,daydream,have emotional thought,idk stuff like this.
Even though i would do it for about one hour(sometimes more)it made me a weird and generally unskilled person.Im not good at any sport and dont have any professional skills and i think its because of this.It could be because i became depressed from a very young age but the only thing i would do to distract myself is that.
I was thinking that i could have autism but i dont believe that.ive seen some videos of autists and im not like that at all.I talk normally(though im not social of course) and theyre like retards,yelling around,barely saying a word.I was pretty weird as a kid but i dont consider that i was a retard.Im very empathic,everyone knows me as a nice guy,and i remember as a kid being very manipulative,funny,and with a small number of people very social which i dont think autists have.
I think it could be because i was in a pretty bad pattern since a child(i was a war refugee at 5,was bullied around at school,for some time in highschool too,bad social life and reputation in general) so i developed that way to distract myself and think of other stuff.But it also could be that i had a bad social life because i did this.
I also used to have the impulsive habit of tightening my fingers,impulsively.but then at 18 i started smoking cannabis regulary and...guess what...i stopped doing that too.
Im 19 now,slowly getting back at normalcy,but sill have the consequences(bad reputation,being impulsive and hyperactive)
so anyone can help me?what disorder might that be?feel free to ask me anything
thanks

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Offlinesaenchai
Stranger
Registered: 10/05/14
Posts: 238
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: what kindof mental illness might i have? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #21335030 - 02/26/15 07:44 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

You're not mentally ill. A better description might be that you are "neuro-atypical", or that you didn't naturally conform socially into the habits of relating to yourself and other people in the way that "normal" people do. That's not an inherently bad or good thing. It has it's benefits and drawbacks. Social skills and self management can be learned, that is up to you to teach yourself.

I can't speak to your habit of spinning. If I had to guess, you were trying to exercise some unexpressed energy from your mind. You are at the age where you can begin to become whomever you'd like to be in the world. You can really tailor your life to yourself in the ways you like now instead of living within environments of conformity like your parents house or your social circles at school. Take this advice or anyone else's if you want but don't put anything above yourself. All the answers that are relevant for you are already in you. It is up to you to dig them out, nobody can do that for you.

Skillful application of hyperactivity and impulsivity can become a great characteristics to draw fromfrom. Read man. Read. You're not the first human being on earth with these problems. Anything you can think of, several people already had it, got over it, and wrote a book about it to save you.from trial and error or confusion.

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Offlinedrop dead fred
Stranger

Registered: 12/21/14
Posts: 134
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: what kindof mental illness might i have? [Re: saenchai] * 1
    #21335120 - 02/26/15 07:57 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Invent your own diagnosis and name it after yourself.

Would having a name for your behaviour make it any easier to deal with? Why define yourself according to someone elses worldview?

If you really want a psychiatric diagnosis then go see a psychiatrist,  they will be more than happy to give you one.

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OfflineNova

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 1,365
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: what kindof mental illness might i have? [Re: drop dead fred] * 1
    #21335410 - 02/26/15 08:40 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

OP have you ever heard of children or adults pulling their knees to their chest and rocking back and forth? This is kinda thought of as a instinctual calming mechanism built into humans some sort of comforting bio-rythemic stuff.

Anyways the extreme form of this is called stereotypic movement. If its not something you feel is out of your control or something that interferes with your life then its nothing to worry about. If you feel it is out of your control you might want to get checked out because it can be a symptom of something else.

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OfflineAll We Perceive
Sea Cucumber
Male


Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 10,491
Last seen: 10 months, 21 days
Re: what kindof mental illness might i have? [Re: Nova] * 1
    #21335932 - 02/26/15 10:35 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Most people have odd ball shit that they do that they keep secret.  When I was a few days old, I got like a foot long stuffed "animal" baseball bat.  My mom used to hit my nose with it and it felt great.  Not really sure why.  I slept with it every night.  As I grew older, I hit my own nose with the stuffed "animal" baseball bat and it still made me feel great.  Like a huge rush of serotonin.  To this day, at 28 years old, I still sleep with it and still hit my nose with it and it still feels great.  Through my whole life, that stuffed baseball bat is the only thing that has consistently made me feel great.  Pretty fuckin weird if you ask me, but damn does it feel good.  I really don't think you are mentally ill.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

Edited by All We Perceive (02/26/15 10:37 PM)

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